Sins of the Mother
by Nuwanda31
Summary: Reid gets a blast from the past when Alexa Lisbon comes to the BAU for help. Reid is reluctant to help her, but changes his mind with some convincing from Riley, who has some news of her own. Pairings Reid/OFC, Morgan/Prentiss. Reid/Riley Part V
1. A Good Day

Summary: Reid gets a blast from the past. Alexa Lisbon, the girl responsible for his traumatic memories of high school, comes to Quantico for help. Her six-year-old son has been missing for two months and every one has declared it a cold case. Alexa is determined to find what happened to her son and Reid is her only hope. Without a police invitation and no ask for ransom, the BAU will only grant her request with Reid's say. Reid is reluctant to help her, but changes his mind with some convincing from Riley, who has some life changing news of her own.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS, the actors, writers, and producers of the show. I have no authority over anything except original characters.

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><p>Riley awoke to a rustling from the closet. She opened her eyes, wincing at the soft light in the room. Looking around, she spotted her husband, Spencer Reid, buttoning his shirt in front of the full length mirror on the inside of the closet door.<p>

"Are you leaving me?" She mumbled, rolling onto her other side, the better to see him.

Reid glanced back at her, "I was hoping I wouldn't wake you before I left." He mentioned with an apologetic look. "JJ called at five this morning, we need to be in by 8."

"An hour early." Riley realized, "Must be an intense case. Do you know where you're headed?"

"Not yet, but I was told to pack for at least five days." Reid explained, turning back to his reflection. "I know from experience that means it's serious."

Riley did not like the idea of her husband being gone for almost a week. "You'll be careful, won't you?"

"Of course, I will," He replied. His shirt fastened, he tucked the hem into his pants. "I'll call you as soon as I know where we're going."

A glance at her bedside table told her it was just seven now. "You don't have to be in until 8. You're a little early, aren't you?"

"I'm going to take the subway." Reid explained. "I thought it would be better to leave you the car."

"You don't have to do that," Riley said. She lay back under the sheets draped over her torso, revealing the top of her night shirt. One bare leg stuck out from the covers, and her hair spread around her as she rested on her pillow, watching her husband in awe. Reid was fitting his belt carefully through each loop on his pants. She admired him, from his mismatched stocking feet up the slender, gawky body she adored so much, all the way up to his chestnut brown hair, slicked back a bit from his shower. He had cut it at the beginning of the year. It had been awfully short, but cute. Now, in the middle of May, it was just starting to grow out again. Maybe it was Riley's imagination, but he seemed incredibly attractive. Even more than usual.

"How soon until you have to leave?" Riley asked innocently as he slipped on his wedding ring.

"Well, I want to grab coffee before I have to get on the train so… within the next ten minutes if I want to get to the BAU on time." He glanced back at her. "Don't worry, I'll start the coffee maker for you before I leave."

"Thanks…" She continued to watch him dress, beginning to wish it were her hands working in the reverse process. "Do you think you could be… just a little late?" He glanced back at her in question, and she shrugged, "It's not like they'll leave without you."

"I suppose not, but why?" He wondered just as he began to realize what that particular sparkle in her brown eyes meant.

"Nothing, I just…" she ran her tongue quickly over her bottom lip, an act she learned not long ago drove him crazy, "…I can't help but notice just how sexy you look this morning, Dr. Reid."

"No," he stated plainly, heading to the closet for his sneakers.

"Oh, come on, why not?" She whined, at last sitting up. Riley moved closer, kneeling before him on the bed. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"

"Nice try," He said, standing up. He couldn't help but look her up and down, taking in her curves surrounded by the cotton of her short night shirt, black and printed with roses. "You know I think you're beautiful, especially when you first wake up in the morning… but I have to go to work."

"But you're leaving me." She complained, her hands landing on the hem of his pants, pulling him closer. "You're going to be gone… for five days, at least… you're going to miss me."

"I'm going to miss you like crazy, I always do." His hands involuntarily landed on her hips, lingering on the hem of the shirt. It took everything in him to resist pulling her warm body against him. "And… if it wouldn't make me late, I wouldn't even give it a second thought. We just don't have enough time."

Riley wasn't done arguing her case. Her fingers walked up from his belt buckle, past his navel, stopping on the first fastened button of his shirt. They lingered there, waiting for his permission to go forward. "I know, but, see, I figure if we skip the fancy stuff and anything that's not absolutely necessary… we could be done in ten, fifteen minutes tops!"

She leaned to meet his lips, no longer waiting as she undid the first button moving to the second, "Sweetheart," he pleaded into the kiss as they pulled apart. His hands grabbed hers in order to make her stop undressing him. "As tempting as 900 seconds of passion sounds, I have to go."

"No you don't," She reclaimed the use of her hands, untucking his shirt while her lips moved to his neck. "Please…" She moaned into his flesh, "I want you… I ache for you, Spencer… please make love to me…"

Nothing was more difficult than denying her when Reid wanted her so desperately, especially hearing her beg for him like that. It was amazing just how quickly the feel of her lips could remove all rational thought from his abnormal brain. Mustering up all his strength, he sternly cried. "Riley, no." A tone both of them knew could not be denied. Reluctantly, she stopped, sitting up to meet his hazel eyes. "I'm sorry. I want you, too. But I can't be late, that's not fair to the others. I promise, I will make it up to you when I come home."

It was a lost cause. Riley nodded. "Okay." She whispered, disappointed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise." He added, placing his hand behind her head, leaning his brow on hers, looking deeply into her eyes.

"You always say that," She moaned.

"I always come back." He clarified. "I love you,"

He was glad when she smiled; she wasn't mad. "I love you, too."

He kissed her softly, hearing her moan, slightly frustrated. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Because I am a stupid, stupid genius," His muffled response sounded, just as disappointed as hers. Reid pulled away. He grabbed his shoes again and headed for the door.

"Wait," Riley cried, jumping off the bed. She hurried to her husband, pulling him into one last kiss; heavy and sweet, like syrup. The tip of her tongue slipped teasingly in his mouth for a moment, his body brought fully against hers. Reid longed to feel her bare, supple skin against his while at the same time desperate to keep his hands from touching her.

Before he lost all willpower, Reid pulled away. "I'll call you later," was all he said, meeting her eyes one last time and headed to door, sneakers in hand.

It closed with a soft snap. His hand lingered on the knob a moment. He tried to catch his breath in order to ease himself. It wasn't working, and that gave him two options. Either he could continue to the living room where his go bag sat waiting, pull on his shoes, and head to work feeling frustrated and miserable… or he could go back into the bedroom and make love to his wife before he left her for a week.

Dropping his shoes on the floor, he reopened the door. Riley was just about to climb back into bed. She looked to him with curiousity, expecting him to say he'd forgotten something. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Now that I think about... I can be a little late." He assured.

She giggled as he hurried to her and swept her into another kiss. As they pulled apart, she asked, "What ever made you change your mind?"

"That was a dirty trick," He growled. Reid guided them easily onto the bed, "You know perfectly well you can't kiss me like that and then send me away."

His body hovered over her. Moving to her shoulder, he pushed the fabric aside to feel her soft skin under his lips. "Mm, I know," she replied, continuing her work on his buttons. "You always come back."

* * *

><p>"Meredith!" Alexa called, pouring orange juice into a plastic Hello Kitty cup. "Get down here in two minutes! And I mean, two minutes!"<p>

The music playing upstairs was sending vibrations through the entire house. Alexa doubted her daughter had even heard. She handed the juice to her six-year-old daughter, Penny, who ate her breakfast hungrily, the only one of her three children at the kitchen table.

Right now, she wore slipper socks and her bathrobe. Alexa hadn't even time to brush her hair, let alone dress and fix herself up. That was the price of the working mother, her time and energy was devoted to her family.

"Peter, Sweetie," She cried up the stairs. "Come on, we've got school today."

She went to the counter to at last pour herself a cup of coffee. Stirring in the cream, the sound of her husband coming in alerted her. Alexa tried to ignore the feeling of dread of having to talk to him.

"Is there coffee?" His way of saying good morning.

"Isn't there always coffee, John?" Alexa questioned in return. "In the twenty years we've been married, has there ever not been coffee?"

He scowled at her, "You're going to start this early?"

With a glare, she went back to the breakfast table. Alexa grabbed a napkin, wiping the spilled oatmeal off her daughter's face. "You start your new job today."

With his own cup, he looked over with an annoyed expression. She matched his eyes, looking determined to not be intimidated by the man. "Are you going to at least try to keep it this time? Really try?"

"I didn't take the job," he contradicted. John seemed to get a sick pleasure out of the look of fear and wrath spreading over her face.

"John… it was a good job, why didn't you take it?" She demanded.

"It was a nothing, pansy ass, burger flipping job." He corrected, "I'm holding out for something better."

"Something better?" She asked. "First of all, it wasn't McDonald's, you would have been working in a real restaurant. It paid good money, which we need. You've been out of work for almost a year now, you can't afford to be picky."

"Well, I have a little more dignity than you, I guess." He pointed out.

Alexa did not like arguing like this in front of her child, but she had to get her husband to see reason. "I'm a waitress, it's not like I'm stripping. It's a paycheck, it pays the rent. It keeps our children clothed and fed."

"Have you looked at yourself lately?" He asked, indicating her body, "Do you really expect me to believe the first concern for food is our children?"

"Oh, you are one to talk!" Penny was completely forgotten at this point."You still think you're some hot high school jock. You can't even make it up the stairs without running out of breath. And that's not the only thing you don't have the stamina for."

"Well maybe if you lost a few pounds and fixed yourself up a little bit, I might find a little more energy for that."

His words hit her like a knife. How had they gotten to this? At one point, he had been barely able to keep his hands off her. There wasn't a boy in school who didn't give her a second look when she walked by, especially in her cheerleading outfit. She could get anything she wanted, just because she was pretty. He was Most Athletic, she was Most Likely to Succeed, and both were Cutest Couple. Now they couldn't even be in the same room without fighting.

"I don't have time for this," She snapped, heading back to the steps. "Excuse me, I have a household to run. I have children to get off to school and a job to get to so someone can collect a paycheck in this house!"

Alexa rushed up the stairs, the music getting louder as she got to the second level. The first room next to the bathroom had its door closed. A **KEEP OUT** poster with a skull and cross bones hung on the wood.

"Meredith," Alexa cried over the door with a knock. "Come on, we're going to be late."

She knocked a second time, but no one answered. With a sigh, she headed down to the next bedroom. She'd deal with Meredith later.

"Peter," she said softly, heading into the twins room. She expected to find her son in his dinosaur pajamas, sitting on the floor playing with his Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys. Surprisingly, he wasn't awake.

The blankets and sheets on Penny's pink bed were tossed back from when she got up this morning. There was a lump in the center of Peter's bed. "Peter, baby. What's wrong, don't you feel well?" She hoped he wasn't sick; she couldn't afford to take off a day of work.

Pulling back the baby blue sheets, however, all she found was a pillow. "Peter?" she called again. Alexa got on her knees to check under the bed. He wasn't hiding. "Peter!" she called, wondering if perhaps he was in the bathroom and she had just passed him.

A glance inside told her she was wrong. "Peter!" she kept calling, getting a little more anxious and annoyed. This wasn't like him. A check through the master bedroom told her he wasn't hiding in there, either. "Peter, please come out for Mommy!"

Perhaps he couldn't hear her over the blasting music. Hoping the door wasn't locked, Alexa went back to Meredith's room, pushing open the door.

Inside, she had her Keisha music blasting. Alexa's eldest daughter was already dressed for school, head to toe in black, dancing and jumping to the music, her hair bouncing wildly around her. Alexa hurried over to turn the music off. "Meredith!"

"What?" Meredith snapped, looking over her mother with annoyance.

"Help me find your brother, he's hiding." She explained. "And you have to get ready for school anyway."

"I am ready for school." She stated. The teenager was a Punk replica of her mother at that age. "And what, you can't find your own son?"

"He must have heard your father and me fighting and decided to hide." She stated, going out into the hall, heading to the linen closet.

Meredith followed, leaning on her doorframe. "If he's hiding because of that, that's ridiculous. The kid should be used to the yelling by now."

Alexa glared at the disrespect of her daughter. "Go check the downstairs bathroom, please." She commanded.

"Fine, but I bet he's playing outside." She said, heading over to the front stairs. "You guys may want to consider closing the front door after you get the paper."

Curious, Alexa followed her daughter. "What are you talking about?"

"This morning…" She grumbled, like it were obvious. "I went down to get something when I got up… you or dad left the front door open."

"Sweetheart, I haven't gotten the paper yet." She said in shock. "And your father just got up."

"Well, somebody left the door open." Meredith shrugged.

"Oh, my God," Alexa cried, hurrying down the steps as fast as her slipper socks would take her. Peter had to be just playing outside. It was already a warm day, he just wanted to play outside before he was shut up in school. Reaching the front door, she tore it open. "Peter!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Peter! Peter, where are you!"

* * *

><p>Reid knew he was in for it. At twenty after 8, he was tearing his way towards the air strip. He had tried the conference room first, but just as he suspected, the others had already departed. Luckily, he ran into Garcia who informed him the others were waiting on the plane. She would alert the others he was on the way so they wouldn't leave without him.<p>

He made it outside and the sun blinded him for a moment. Spring was in full swing now. The morning was brisk, but once the sun got into the sky, the air would warm up. Not that Reid would be here to see it. As fast as he could, Reid ran to towards the plane, the door still stood wide open in anticipation of his arrival.

On the plane, the others were getting restless. They tried to focus on this new case, but it was difficult. They were anxious to get into the air. Hotch was pacing a bit and it was obvious he was struggling to hang onto his temper.

"Where the hell is that kid?" Morgan grumbled, checking his watch.

JJ grabbed her phone as she heard it ding with a text message. Quickly she read it. "Garcia just spoke to him, he should be here in a few minutes."

"I hope everything's okay." Emily mentioned, looking up from the folder in hand.

"I'm sure everything's fine." Rossi said across from her. There was a slight smirk on his face. "He is still considered a newlywed, after all."

"Come on, they've been married a year and a half." Morgan picked up his coffee for a sip. "The honeymoon period has got to be over by now."

"Obviously, you've never been married." Rossi replied. "With the exception of my third marriage, the honeymoon periods lasted for at least the first two years."

"Your third marriage didn't even last two years." Hotch mentioned, glancing out the window. He caught sight of someone dashing across the strip towards the plane.

"Please, we weren't even married two days before we started fighting." He remarked, bringing a light laughter from everyone around.

In a moment, there was a clamoring up the steps and finally, Reid appeared on the plane. He was panting and clutching at a stitch in his side, "I'm here," He managed to heave.

"Glad you could make it." JJ teased. "Everything okay?"

After a moment, he stood up straight, his neat appearance disheveled and raggedy. "Yeah... sorry, I accidentally fell back to sleep after you called."

"Uh, huh." Emily mentioned, sharing a knowing glance with Morgan. "Why didn't call to tell us that?"

"I..." He meet Emily's eye and hated the knowing grin on her face. They knew the truth, he was sure, but he was not about to shot himself in the foot and tell them straight out. "I need some coffee." Reid moved past everyone to the galley.

"I'll go tell the pilot we're ready to leave." Rossi announced, getting out of his seat.

The stifled giggles burned Reid's ears as he grabbed himself a mug. There was one person of the group who wasn't happy however, and quickly caught up with the young man to tell him so.

"Reid," Hotch said quietly, trying to shut out the others from the conversation. Even in such a soft tone, the man was very foreboding.

"Yes, sir," He said, turning to face him. He made the decision and now he had to face the consequence.

"I know you're a young and in love, and that's wonderful. I'm happy for you, but this has to stop." He stated sternly. "You've been coming in late two or three times a week since you've gotten married. I've been nice about it up until now. I've never written you up, but you've never been this late and you've never done it while we working on a case. I won't report you now, but I'm warning. If it happens again, I will report it to Strauss."

That was the last thing he needed. Reid nodded, "I understand, sir. It won't happen again."

"Good," He replied. He fixed Reid with another stare and he swore, there was a slight twinkle in the older man's eye. "Do I need to call Riley and talk to her about this, too?"

"No..." Reid said slowly. "Why... why would she need to know."

"She is the reason you're late today, after all." Hotch mentioned, his voice suddenly a bit louder. "Unless you burned yourself repeated with a curling iron this morning."

The others couldn't contain their laughter as Reid's face turned a bright red, his one hand covering the many sore spots on his neck. Embarrassed, he turned back to quickly make himself some coffee.

The plane was getting ready to take off as Reid took the empty seat across from JJ. She was looking at him significantly, much different than the others were. Reid looked up and met her eyes, "What?"

"Nothing..." She shook her head. "You just... you look different this morning."

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Hotch mentioned that."

"No," She smiled as she shook her head. "Not that, I just mean... there's something about you. You just seem... it's better than happy, I can't describe it."

The others were looking at him now. True, Reid had been feeling extremely happy this morning, and it felt a lot more powerful than the joy of having morning sex with his wife.

"I don't know," He finally said with a smile. "I can't describe it, really... it's just a feeling something special is about to happen... I have a really good feeling about today."

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, I have had this entire series planned out since I was in the middle of Seattle, so I'm ecstatic to finally get to this story! I hope you guys like how this started, I've got a lot planned for this, and a few specific issues will be faced in this story. (I'm sure by now you've got some idea what those are.) Please review, guys, they mean so much to me! :)


	2. Mistaken Identity

"You smell so good." Reid muttered into the flesh on Riley's neck. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Riley complained, trying to ignore how wonderful it was being enveloped in his arms. "But you have to get back to work, your break was over a half hour ago. I bet you, any minute now, I'm going to get a call from Hotch or Morgan asking where you are."

It was eight weeks and five cases later. Reid had just returned from four days in Birmingham, Alabama. On his lunch break, he took a cab to Riley's office for a quick hello. She was standing at the bookshelf, trying to find the right volume for her next session, which was difficult with her husband behind her, his arms wrapped around her middle, constantly kissing and nuzzling her neck.

"Come on, just one more kiss and then I'll go," He moaned, wanting so much to forget he still had to work and just take her home. With a chuckle, Riley forfeited her search and turned to face him. Her arms slipped over his shoulders, leaning up to meet his lips with hers.

At the sound of her contented sigh, Reid pulled her even closer. It amazed him, after four and half years, how those sounds she emitted still drove him crazy. Her fingers slid up into his hair and he groaned with content, holding her in a vice grip, refusing to let her go.

As it ended, he rested his brow on hers. "There is a problem I need to discuss with you, though, Dr. Reid." He said, allowing his eyes to open and met hers.

"Oh, and what would that be?" She asked with mock curiousity, her brown eyes glowing with intensity.

He cleared his throat and feigned humility. "I keep having all these sexual fantasies about my therapist. I don't know what to do."

With a smirk, she pretended to think for a moment. "Well, that's very serious, Spencer. We should discuss this in depth during your session... but my professional opinion would be... to indulge them."

"Well, you're the professional. Who am I to argue?" And his mouth spread into a wide smile before he kissed her again.

The thought of the rest of the day and the thirty folders sitting on his desk kept his mind from falling into a fog. Their kiss ended and Reid's lips moved up to her forehead. "I've got another session in fifteen minutes," Riley stated, and he could hear the irritation in her voice, knowing she wanted him to leave just about as much as he wanted to go.

"Yeah, I've got paperwork." He agreed, pulling away, the better to see her face. "But I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yeah, I should be done by four, so I'll pick you up at the unit." She explained, running one more hand through his hair.

He met her lips again one last time. Her hands went over his as they rested on her hips. Reluctantly, he pulled away, placing one more kiss on the top of her head. He hurried to the door before he lost his self-control again.

Reid headed down the hall to the waiting room. There were a few people in there. Most of them sitting, waiting for their turn with whatever doctor they were here for. One woman, older than he, with short blonde hair and dark roots, stood at the front desk, waiting for assistance. CJ, the assistant, was nowhere to be seen, apparently taking just as long a break as he.

"Oh," she exclaimed, grateful to finally get some attention. "I'm sorry, but… can you help me?"

He didn't work here, but Reid was automatically concerned for her. She looked terrified, like someone was hunting her. This woman had an aura about her that reminded him of a victim, his instincts kicking in automatically. "Is something wrong, ma'am?"

"I just need a consult with Dr. Reid." She said.

"Oh, how do you know Dr. Reid?" He asked kindly, curious.

"Just… from a long time ago." She explained. "We… went to school together."

Probably someone Riley knew from Harvard. Reid knew she was alone right now, she wouldn't mind someone stepping in, especially if it were just a consult. "Room 202, right down the hall, on the left." He pointed down in the direction of her office.

"Oh, thank you." She looked over his face, looking at him in question. "Have we met before?"

"No," Reid replied with certainty.

"You look awfully familiar, are you sure?" The woman wondered.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm certain I'd remember you," He smiled with a nod. Still, he felt a pang of sympathy for her. "Good luck, ma'am."

"Thank you," she muttered, moving past him down the hall. Reid headed to the door, reluctantly heading back to work.

The woman made it to room 202. With a deep breath, she gathered her courage and knocked on the door. She began to wish she was wearing something better than jeans a sweatshirt, but maybe he would respond better if he knew what mess her life had spiraled into.

"Come in," a voice called.

At first, the woman believed she had the wrong room. But the young man had said room 202. Perhaps the voice was from a secretary or intern. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her strength and opened the door.

Riley looked up as her visitor stepped inside. This was not her 2 o'clock. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

She let out an annoyed sigh, "No, I… must have the wrong room, I'm sorry." Whoever that was either didn't know what he was talking about or had sent her on a wild goose chase. That wasn't what she needed right now. "Could you please tell me where I can find Dr. Reid?"

"Uh…" Riley muttered, a bit amused and she stood and walked over. "You've found her. How can I help you, ma'am?"

She stared at Riley in shock, like she had just learned this woman was her long lost sister. It took her a long time to find her voice, making several attempts to clear her throat. "You're the only Dr. Reid here?"

"In this department," Riley clarified. "But I assure you, I'm a fully qualified psychiatrist."

"I'm not looking for a psychiatrist." She snapped, "At least, I don't think so. This Dr. Reid is a man and he also works for the FBI. I contacted the Bureau and they gave me this address."

"Oh," Riley understood with a nod. This happened a lot, though usually it was the other way around. "Are you looking for _Spencer_ Reid?"

"Yes," she replied, slightly relieved. "Does he work here?"

"No, Spencer Reid works for the Behavioral Analysis Unit, at the FBI Headquarters. I'm sorry for the confusion." Riley explained.

"You know him, then?" The woman asked.

Riley smiled, "Yes, very well." She offered her hand. "I'm Dr. Riley Reid, Spencer's wife."

The woman had trouble holding back her shock as she shook Riley's hand. Again, she had difficulty finding the ability to speak. Her eyes looked Riley over, this time treating her like some kind of extraterrestrial.

"Is something wrong?" Riley asked.

"I just… didn't expect Spencer to be married, that's all." She responded.

No surprise, Riley found that offensive, both to herself and for Spencer. She took her hand back, folding her arms over her chest. "How exactly do you know my husband?"

"Just… from a long time ago." She stated. "Thank you for your help, I'm going to go."

"You know… if you don't mind waiting, I could take you to the BAU myself. Or call ahead and tell them to expect you."

"No thank you, Dr. Reid," She replied, hurrying out the door before she could inquire anything further, like her name.

Riley didn't chase after her. At first, she thought about calling Spencer, just to tell him what had happened. But her 2 o'clock would be here soon. And she had another session after that. Besides, she would see him in a few hours, and they would be together in the morning for their lecture. She could tell him then. Deciding a cup of coffee would be more productive, she turned and went to her coffee maker.

It hit her all of a sudden. An unexpected wave of nausea and dizziness took her over. Riley's hands gripped her bookshelf to keep from falling as the vertigo claimed her full control for a moment. It was so powerful, she was amazed she had remained on her feet.

A full minute passed before she felt it begin to fade away. Her free hand covered her mouth, afraid if she breathed in, whatever was inside her would spill out. At last she managed to regain her composure, standing steady on her feet. She'd been feeling a little under the weather for almost two weeks now, but that was the first spell to hit her so hard.

After another deep breath, she felt better. She went to the pot, but the smell was making her feel sick again. She took the carafe and moved to the sink, pouring it down the drain. Coffee was a bad idea.

"That thought is certainly a first," Riley said, still a bit concerned, but quickly push it from her mind. It was nothing to be worried about, she was certain.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Reid made it back to the lobby of the FBI. He wasn't the only one returning, running into two familiar faces at the elevator in the lobby coming back from a consult in Arlington.<p>

"Hey, Reid," Emily said, standing casually a foot away from Morgan, "Where have you been all this time?"

"I went to say hello to my wife." He replied, and caught the suspecting look in their eyes. "And it was just a hello."

"Sure it was, Reid," Morgan nodded with a wink. "That's a nice shade of lipstick. And what's that cologne? Roses?"

Reid gave her a partial glare. "Give me a break, we're celebrating our 18 month anniversary."

Emily considered that a moment. "Wait... I thought you celebrated that last week."

He shrugged. "Well, now we're a week longer."

She let out a chuckle and turned to Morgan. "There is a perk to him being married, I don't remember him being in such a good mood all the time."

"That's because he's getting it regular." Morgan mentioned as the elevator opened. The three stepped in and pressed the button for the sixth floor.

As soon as the door closed, Morgan wasted no time to take advantage of the seclusion. He wrapped Emily into his arms and pulled her into one last slow kiss before they reached their floor, bringing her body as close to his as possible. Through the corner of his eye, the young genius pretended for several moments not to notice the practically pornographic make out session going on beside him.

As Emily let out a loud groan, he finally lost it. "Alright, that's it," Reid exclaimed, grabbing their attention. He could take no more. "You guys have to stop this."

"What is your problem, Reid?" Morgan asked. Emily turned to look at him, remaining wrapped in Morgan's arms. "What do you mean we have to stop, I thought you wanted us to be happy."

"That's not the point." He said, "I don't have a problem with you dating, but you guys are abusing my knowledge of it. You make me cover for you, you make me lie to the others, when the three of us are alone you pretend like I'm not here so you can kiss like this, and you always make sure one of you has the room beside me when we're out of town so I'm the only one who hears what's going on next door. You guys have been taking advantage of me and… I have had enough."

"What are you saying, you're going to go to Hotch?" Emily was practically panicked.

"No, of course not," Reid sighed, "Look, you guys have done so much for me over the years. I don't mind keeping your secret… but at work, you guys have to act like there's nothing to keep."

"Alright, Reid, calm down," Morgan urged, "We'll cool it, okay?"

"I just don't want you guys to get into trouble." Reid urged. "I don't like keeping secrets."

"Said the kid who slept with his therapist," Morgan reached behind Emily to give the kid a tousle of his hair.

Reid let out a laugh as the doors opened, the three heading back into the BAU. It was a calm afternoon, with Garcia and JJ waiting for them in the bull pen.

"OMG, where have you guys been?" Garcia cried, "I was beginning to think you found a crack in the universe or something."

"Found what?" Morgan asked.

"You wouldn't understand," Reid replied, sitting at his desk. It was easier than spending a half an hour explaining the reference. "Is Hotch looking for us?"

"No, in fact, he hasn't come out of his office since we got back this morning." JJ replied, glancing up at the closed door. The blinds had been shut a long time ago.

"I hope he's alright," Emily mentioned. Her attention, too, lingered on his shut up office. "Maybe it's just me, but he seems awfully depressed lately."

"I think I know why that might be," Rossi said coming from the break room, refilling his coffee mug.

The entire group was curious, despite the so blatant invasion of privacy. Rossi regretted saying anything, having spoken without thinking. But there was no avoiding it now. They knew something was wrong and, if they didn't hear it from him, they would simply bother Hotch until they knew.

"Well?" Morgan asked into the silence, "What is it, Dave?"

Taking a deep breath, he checked to make sure Hotch hadn't come out. "Hayley got married last weekend."

No had been expecting that. Indeed, Reid had been the only one in the group to know Hotch's ex-wife had been dating anyone. He had known how hard that had been on his boss two and half years ago, it was only imaginable how much this was affecting him.

"Apparently, she eloped with her boyfriend in Niagara Falls on Saturday." Rossi explained. "She told Hotch Sunday evening, when he dropped Jack off. He told me at the crime scene on Monday… after he yelled at a rookie forensic investigator."

"Poor Hotch," Garcia mumbled, wishing she could give him a hug, which she wouldn't do even if he knew they were informed, "I always thought he and Hayley would eventually get back together."

"I speak from experience, you guys." Rossi stated, "It doesn't matter how much you love a person, sometimes two people just can't make a marriage work."

"Technically, the success of a marriage depends on a certain similarity of the two persons." Reid explained, "Friendship and communication are what most believe are the aspects of it, but from a scientific position, it mostly results from a degree of compatibility on personality."

The group looked at him in question. With his hands slipping into his pockets, he shrugged. "I read a few books while I was engaged."

"Anyway," Rossi continued, "Don't let Hotch know that you know. He'll get over this in a few weeks, so for now just pretend you don't notice anything different."

They agreed, and Rossi headed back to his office. Everyone sat at their desks, preparing to spend the next few hours on useless paperwork, trying to ignore that their boss was in misery… and there was nothing they could do for him.

* * *

><p>AN: By the way, did I mention I'll be having a romance for Hotch in this. (And once again, the damn show beat me to it. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they're hacking into my computer.)

I am so glad you guys like it already, I hope that continues! Thanks for all the great reviews, please keep them coming! I love you guys so much, you make me feel like a real writer! :)


	3. Reunion

The next day was Friday. A full weekend was ahead of them. Everyone had plans and were reluctant to spend a long day devoted to paperwork before they could get started on them. Still, diligently, most of the team arrived at their usual time. The unit was just getting busy as Emily stood in the break room fixing a cup of coffee. Morgan stepped over as she poured in some cream.

"Morning, Morgan," she said, as if they hadn't seen each just a few hours ago.

"Good morning, Princess," He replied in a slow, silky voice. He grabbed his usual mug. His eyes looked her up and down, giving a mock look of concern. "You look tired; you sleeping okay at night?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's nothing for you to worry about. Though I should have eaten breakfast before I came in. Did you eat yet?"

"No, I haven't," He reached for the cream beside her, an excuse to lean down to her ear, "Except for your soft little neck earlier."

Emily gave him a smack on the arm, checking to make sure no one was watching them. Her hand went over the red mark just below her ear, left there when they parted earlier. Luckily, her hair covered it. "Shut up, someone's going to overhear you."

"Oh, come on, Prentiss, no one's listening," he replied, standing up. "What's wrong, you mad at me?"

"No, of course not," She exclaimed, turning to face him. "Why would you even think that?"

"Just checking," he replied, "I want to make sure you're happy."

"I am happy," she said with a sincere smile. "I'm just trying to keep my word to Reid. We're at work which means… we're just friends… nothing more."

He gave her a mock expression of sadness, with big puppy dog eyes that made him look so cute, she couldn't resist him. Were they in private, she'd saunter up to him and place a warm, heavy kiss on him. "I think you're just repulsed or embarrassed by me."

"Alright, enough," she turned back around to finish stirring her coffee. They could be together for fifty years, he was never going to let that go. Of the night she'd gone to his apartment, demanding to know why he wanted to forget the first night they had shared.

"Or maybe I just don't satisfy you anymore." He noted.

He wasn't going to give up until she gave him what he wanted. And the best way to do that right now was stroking his ego. "Believe me, Morgan, I'm satisfied."

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

With an annoyed sigh, "Yes, I'm sure."

"How can I be certain? I have no proof" He admitted.

She glanced at him fixing him with narrowed eyes. "Derek Morgan, you have and continue to please me well beyond my needs and expectations. If I didn't need to sleep, eat, or bathe, I would never unwrap my legs from your sexy, muscular body, you big grizzly bear, you."

With a cheeky smile, "There, now, was that so hard to admit?" He gave her a wink.

She tried not to laugh as he headed out into the bull pen. She watched his pursuit, unable to tear her eyes from him for a long time. It was incredible how after two and a half years, not only were they still going strong, but they still couldn't get enough of each other. Emily didn't dread going home anymore because she was never alone. If she was having a problem, even something simple, she loved knowing he was there to vent her feelings to. Her only regret about the whole relationship was it was still secret to most of the team, which meant she couldn't brag about it to JJ and Garcia. They pitied her because they believed she was alone, unable to find a nice man like they both had... when in reality, Emily couldn't be happier. In fact... she'd almost go as far as to say...

No... she wasn't ready to say that yet. Admitting she was in love with him was like a white flag... and while she enjoyed the notion of spending her life with Derek Morgan, she'd seen enough broken relationships over the years to tell her the odds were not in her favor.

Morgan reached his seat and set his coffee down. Several files sat on his desk, waiting for his attention. If he rushed, he could get most of these done by lunch. He might be able to get out early today and make a nice, romantic dinner for he and Emily. A perfect way to kick off their weekend.

Just as he were about to sit down, he glanced up, his eyes landing on a lost soul standing in the doorway. "Can I help you, ma'am?" He asked to a middle-aged woman, moving closer to her.

"Uh…" she glanced around, searching for the someone who matched her idea of how he would look. There was no one. "Is this the… Behavioral Analysis Unit?"

"Yes, ma'am it is," he stepped forward to greet her. "I'm SSA Derek Morgan, how can I help you?"

"I was hoping you and your people could help me with a case." She explained.

Morgan could tell she looked desperate and hated to turn her away. "I'm sorry, we don't just take requests from civilians. You understand, we work with other forms of law enforcement."

"Actually… I'm here to speak to another one of your… agents," she continued glancing around, but the only person she saw was Emily, heading to her desk. She, too, noticed the commotion, watching with interest. "Dr. Spencer Reid. Is he here?"

"Well, no he's not in yet," Morgan explained, glancing at Emily a moment, "He's giving a lecture over at the academy. We expect him before noon, though."

"But he does work here?" She needed to be sure.

"Almost ten years," Morgan explained with a smile, "Are you a friend of his?"

She shook her head, "I doubt he even remembers me."

"Well, you obviously aren't a friend if you think that," Morgan muttered with a smile, "Why don't I take you to see our unit chief. You can tell him your problem while you wait for Dr. Reid."

"Thank you," she replied, letting out a small sigh of relief. She was finally getting somewhere. Morgan led her through the bull pen and up the steps to the closed office door.

"Come in," a voice said as he knocked.

Morgan opened the door, "Hotch, there's a woman here, she seems kind of upset. She says she's looking for Reid."

Before he could say anything, Morgan stepped aside to allow her in. Hotch stood at her presence, attempting to be polite.

"I'm Unit Chief, SSA Aaron Hotchner," he said, offering for a handshake. Her trembling hand took his. Though they didn't speak to the public like this, it would be obvious to a blind man just how distraught this woman was. They couldn't simply send her off. "What's your name, ma'am?"

"Alexa Hillman," she said, avoiding both their eyes.

She claimed one of the seats before the large desk. As she sat down, so did Hotch. "Morgan, send Reid in as soon as he gets here."

"Sure thing," He said, meeting his boss's eye one time before stepping out, closing the door behind him.

Hotch pulled a box of tissues off his shelf. He offered them to Alexa Hillman. As she took it, a few tears began to form. Through her sorrow, she felt relief. Her needs were beginning to be met.

"Why are you asking for Dr. Reid?" he asked. "I don't mean to sound inquisitive, but Reid is under my command. Anything that affects his job, I need to be informed on Miss Hillman. Is it Miss?"

"Misses," she explained. "And I knew Dr. Reid a long time ago… in high school."

"I see," Hotch replied. It was no secret that Reid hadn't had a fun experience in high school. Any reason for an old classmate to come here had to be serious, "You may not understand, Mrs. Hillman, but the BAU just can't take requests when someone is in trouble."

"I didn't think so," she dabbed futilely at her eyes. As soon as a few tears were absorbed, more followed. "It's just my son. My six-year-old boy, he's been missing for two months. I've done everything else, Spencer is my last chance of finding him."

Hotch hid his sympathy. He could understand her pain. Her son wasn't much younger than Jack. And the chances of him being alive after two months were minuscule. He needed to remain impassive. "Well," he checked his watch. It was half past nine now. "Dr. Reid won't be in for awhile, so why don't you tell me everything about what happened to your son."

* * *

><p>Reid gathered his materials and put them into his bag. It was no secret that he was annoyed.<p>

"I thought your jokes were funny," Riley said with obvious pity.

"Really?" He stood to meet her eye, "And did you laugh?"

"Yes," she urged.

"Out loud?" He clarified.

She hesitated, "Well… I didn't want to be the only one."

He nodded going back to his bag, "I love you, too, Sweetheart."

"Oh, alright, so you weren't funny," She urged, wrapping him in her arms from behind, "But that's not the purpose of this and you know it. You did a good job, the cadets asked a lot of questions, they were interested. So you told a few complicated jokes, it just showed them how smart you are and that you know what you're doing."

"Are you kidding, it was a class of mostly men." Reid said, turning around, "They were interested because you're hot. They paid attention to me because you were."

"Well, you're amazingly smart and I'm pretty," She said, slipping her arms around his waist. "We're like the Doctor and his companion."

"The Doctor doesn't sleep with his companions," Reid pointed out.

Riley reached up to brush his lips, "Well, that's his loss."

He smiled as they kissed. The classroom had long since emptied and wouldn't have more cadets until the afternoon. Reid felt no reservations about pulling her as close as possible, his fingers losing themselves in the ends of her long curls. She sighed as her hand lost itself in his hair, the other clutching his shirt.

Their lips parted, "Come along, Pond," he said with a smile, slipping his hand into hers. He lead her out the door. "You want me to drive you to the office?"

Riley shook her head, "I only have one session this afternoon. I'm already here; I might as well walk up and say hello. And then we can go to lunch in a little bit."

Agreeing, he lead her down the hall. It was quiet, with the next class already in session. Just before the two reached the stairwell, Riley nearly collapsed as she was hit by another wave of nausea and vertigo. Just like yesterday.

Reid automatically caught her, preventing her from falling. She could barely comprehend what was happening for several seconds. All she could do was cling to his protective form.

Catching her breath, careful not to inhale too deeply so she wouldn't vomit, she managed to stand on her feet. "Are you alright?" Reid asked.

"Yeah…" she said slowly. The nausea lingered. Riley covered her mouth, wishing she knew where the restroom was on this floor.

At last, as the remainder of the nausea left her, Riley removed her hand, meeting her husband's worried eyes. "I'm fine," she assured with a smile.

Reid wasn't convinced, taking her hand again. "I'm taking you home," he stated.

"No, you're not!" She cried, "Spencer, I'm fine."

"You're sick, Riley," Reid argued, "If you don't let yourself rest, you'll just get worse."

"I'm not sick, Spencer, I feel fine," Truly, she knew she was ill. Riley was beginning to feel like she had the flu, but she wouldn't tell him that. Or the fact she'd felt this way for almost two weeks now.

"Oh, and were you feeling fine this morning?" Reid asked. Indeed, he had awoken to putrid retching sounds coming from their bathroom. He had spent the first half hour of the morning holding back her hair while she vomited in the toilet, trying not to breathe in the smell.

"I felt fine after." She pointed out. From the serious expression on his face, he wasn't taking this as lightly. "Look, I can't just go home. I'll admit, I feel a little under the weather. If I feel this bad on Monday, I will stay home, but I can get through the rest of the day. Okay?"

Reid wanted to protest, but had learned a long time ago to pick his battles with her. With a reluctant nod, "Alright, we'll skip lunch though."

He put his arm around her and led her down the steps. "No, I want to go," she said, leaning against him, "Even feeling a little sick, I'm surprisingly starving."

* * *

><p>They made it up to the unit about ten minutes later. It was a little after eleven. Morgan and the girls were gathered in the kitchenette on a much needed coffee break. The group greeted the two pleasantly at their arrival. Riley was thinking of a cup herself until the smell hit her nose, bringing her nausea back, and decided against it.<p>

"Reid," Morgan said as he poured himself a cup. "Hotch needs to see you,"

"What for?" He asked.

"Some woman showed up asking for you," explained Morgan. "Said she needs your help."

Reid caught Riley's eye, thinking it had to be the woman from yesterday. She had told him about it yesterday evening, but they didn't think much of it. He gave a shrug, leaving his drink on the counter and heading up to his boss's closed door.

"So how did the lecture go?" JJ asked as Riley grabbed a water from the fridge.

"Pretty well, I think," Riley replied. She opened the bottle and took a careful sip, the smell still revolting to her. "Reid told me about Hotch yesterday. How's he doing?"

"He's not really talking to anyone," Emily said with a shrug, "Unless it's about work. We just feel so bad… but we don't know what to say."

"You know that's when I met Hotch." Riley said, her attention on the rolling beads of condensation on the bottle. "At his wedding. They needed a flower girl and Sean suggested me… I was nine."

"I thought you met Hotch when he interviewed you for Harvard." Morgan said.

Riley shook her head. "We didn't get to know each other until then. After the interview, he kept in touch with me at school and kind of looked out for me. But we met long before that, at the rehearsal for his wedding." The nausea was getting to be too much. Casually, she set her water down next to her husband's cup. "I need to run to the Ladies' Room, I'll be right back."

She took her time until she stepped out of the unit. Out of sight of the others, she covered her mouth and ran in order to make it in time.

* * *

><p>Hotch was still sitting with Alexa. She had long since stopped crying, but was still so lost. It was more than understandable. "I'm sure Reid will be here soon," He assured. He could take the opportunity to work on his paperwork from Birmingham, but instead gave her his full attention. "Where's your husband?"<p>

"He's in Vegas, taking care of my daughters." She explained. Her hands in her lap, nervously tearing apart the tissue she held. "At least, I hope he is and not blowing my entire pay check on beer and cigarettes."

Hotch didn't make a comment on that and she was grateful. She looked up, catching his eye. "He doesn't know I'm here."

"Where does he think you are?" He asked.

"In Sparks, visiting my sister." She explained. "I won't even suggest coming here for help."

"I take it that means he's acquainted with Dr. Reid as well?" He knew the answer the moment she looked from his eyes.

"Unfortunately, yes." She pushed some of her hair aside. "John was a bully in high school… and Spencer was his absolute favorite target."

At that moment, the typical 'Shave and a Haircut' sounded on the door. "Come in," Hotch called.

"Hey," Reid said, poking his head in, "Morgan said you were looking for me."

Alexa turned and felt her stomach drop out. Reid's eyes landed on her and recognized her immediately.

"Oh," he smiled, "Hello again."

"Hi," she uttered, standing up slowly.

"You know who this is, Reid?" Hotch asked, getting to his feet as well.

Stepping in, Reid closed the door. "I stopped by to see Riley yesterday on my lunch break, she was in the waiting room." He gave her an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, ma'am… when you said Dr. Reid… I just assumed you meant my wife."

"I was given the wrong address," She explained, looking like she might cry. He looked so different. Still a gangly, awkward thing, but definitely not what she had expected. He was so grown up. What was worse, he looked her over with such kindness, and it took away her ability to speak.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" Reid asked gently. He took a glance at Hotch, then back to the woman as tears began to fall from her eyes again.

"It's alright, Spencer," she finally uttered, "I didn't expect you to recognize me."

"What's going on?" He asked. There was something about the way she said his name that jerked a memory. But for once, his mind failed him. Perhaps they had met before. "I'm sorry… I don't…"

Managing to hold back the tears, "I've changed a lot in the last twenty years… but so did you, I guess."

"You do seem familiar," Reid mentioned, curious, and he began to get a sinking feeling, trying to place her. "Who are you?"

With a deep breath, she said it before she lost her nerve. "I'm… Alexa – "

"Lisbon," Reid finished, the name spilling forth. Of course it was her, how could he miss that?

"It's Hillman now," she corrected.

"Hillman…" Reid repeated. "So that means you're married to… John Hillman. Harper's brother... oh, yes, I remember him."

"Reid," Hotch chimed in, "She's come here because she needs your help."

"Oh, really," The anger and pain was evident on his face. "I'm sorry to hear that. Not sure exactly how I can assist you, Mrs. Hillman."

"Spencer, I wouldn't come here if I weren't desperate," she basically sobbed.

"Hmm," was his response. "Is that a fact? A lot of people need my help; a lot of kinder, more deserving people."

"Reid, that's not necessary. It's not going to hurt to listen to her," Hotch stated sternly.

"You're right," he said with a condescending smile. "But, Alexa… I do have a lot of work to do, you understand. Paperwork, it really can't wait. I'll get to you if I can. There's always Monday, maybe even Tuesday."

"Reid," Hotch called, a demand for him to stay.

He wouldn't listen, ripping open the door and hurrying out. Alexa watched his retreat. She had failed. There was no more hope now. "Maybe I should go,"

"I'm not sure how much help we can be, but the least we can do is let you talk to Reid." Hotch explained. "Why don't you wait here, and I'll get him. He has to listen to me, I'm his boss. I have almost as much authority over him as his wife."

For the first time in two months, Alexa cracked a grin. "Thank you, Agent Hotchner," she said.

Hotch surprised himself when he returned her smile. He had to admit, even with the veil of sadness about her, she was very pretty. Without another word, Hotch left in pursuit.

* * *

><p>The danger of germs and bacteria never even occurred to her as Riley's hand gripped the edge of the toilet seat. She pulled herself away, leaning against the door of the stall, catching her breath. Tears were streaming down her eyes and the back of her throat was scratchy. How anyone could do that voluntarily was beyond her.<p>

There didn't seem to be anything left that wanted to come out. She carefully pulled herself on unsteady feet, flushing the toilet and taking her mess away. She headed out to the sink to wash her hands and rinse her mouth – in that order.

Clean and dry, Riley headed out of the restroom, startled to find someone waiting for her as she stepped out.

"You scared me!" She exclaimed, "What are doing out here?"

"Were you throwing up again?" Reid asked.

"What, are you stalking me?" She questioned.

"Answering a question with a question; if I were interrogating you, I'd consider that an attempt to hide guilt." Reid pointed out, "You ready to go to lunch?"

Riley reached into her purse, pulling out her phone to check the time, "I thought your break didn't start until 12:30, you've got another hour."

He shrugged, "So I'm a little early. It wouldn't be the first time I took a long lunch. Maybe we'll go straight home afterward."

He knew she had a session, and he knew he couldn't convince her to go home and rest, suggesting they go straight home meant something was wrong. Riley folded her arms over her chest. "What's the matter?"

"What?" He squeaked, "Why would you… think that?"

"Well, for one thing, your voice just went up an octave." She pointed out, "But that's beside the point. You're acting nervous. You may want to take a long break, but you never leave early for it if you can help it. Also, you didn't say what Hotch wanted and that would be the first thing you mention."

"You're not a profiler, you know." He asked.

"No, I'm your wife. I know you better than any profiler would." This wasn't amusing anymore. He was starting to worry her. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I will," he said, checking behind him, "I just want to get out of here."

"Spencer, you're scaring me." Riley said as he started leading her down the hall. He still had to grab his bag and things; he should have done that first before he caught her. "What's going on?"

"Reid," Hotch said, stepping into the hall.

He stopped, and Riley looked between the two men in horror. Hotch stepped over, "Is it really that much trouble to listen to her?"

Reid shrugged, but his eyes burned with pure loathing. "It doesn't matter what she wants, Hotch. We can't help her anyway. You shouldn't even have let her stay."

"Who?" Riley asked, looking between the men. "Who is she?"

"I'm not asking you to create a profile or start an investigation," Hotch explained, "Just listen to her. Maybe there is something we can do, maybe it's small, but we can't decide that until we know the whole story. She's a grieving mother and she is grasping out for someone to help her, even if it's just support."

"Then you talk to her," Reid snapped.

"Talk to who?" Riley cried.

"It's whom, and it doesn't matter." He took her hand. "I'm going to lunch, send her away before I get back."

"Reid, you take orders from me," Hotch implored. He stepped closer, a threatening demeanor about him normally used on an unsub. "I'm not telling you to be her friend, I'm telling you to meet with her and discuss her case. Or maybe, if you have a problem taking orders, I need to ground you in Quantico on desk duty for a few weeks pending an investigation with Strauss. And I know there are certain things in your record you don't want Strauss finding."

The last time Reid had hated this man so much had been four and half years ago, when Riley had been his therapist. He had been so in love with her, but had believed she were in love with Aaron Hotchner, unwise to the actuality of their relationship. He couldn't refuse his orders then, and he certainly couldn't do it now.

"Tell her to meet me in the conference room," Reid griped, his teeth gritted.

For one usually so willing to help people, good or bad, it was odd seeing her husband so disinclined and downright hateful. "Spencer, who is she?"

"That woman from yesterday," he stated, still staring as Hotch's office door closed. "She's Alexa Lisbon."

Stunned, "Oh my God… what is she doing here?"

"I don't know, and I didn't want to know," He finally turned to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, we're going to have to put lunch on hold. Hopefully, I'll be done before you have to leave."

"I understand," she replied, squeezing his hand. "Maybe I should go in there with you."

Reid shook his head, "I'll be fine. Besides, you don't feel well."

"Sick or not, I'll kick her ass if you ask me." She said with a wink.

"I shouldn't have to ask my wife to do that for me," He said, heading back inside. "You should just do it."

Riley giggled, watching as he headed through the unit. She stopped abruptly, though, covering her mouth again. She back tracked to the restroom. Apparently, she wasn't as finished in there as she thought.


	4. Apples

_The next morning came all too soon. Spencer hadn't gotten any rest, even though he'd gone to bed well after midnight. After he'd gotten home, he was busy dealing with his mother, waiting for her to come out of her delusion so he could put her to bed. By then it was around three, but he couldn't fall asleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he was back on that field... all those faces, laughing at him, throwing things at him, the chilly desert air hitting every inch of his skin... Every time, it forced him into a fit of tears until finally, he gave up, pulling out some books and read until the sun came up._

_He thought about staying home today. It wouldn't be hard, all he had to do was tell his mother he didn't feel well. She wouldn't question it; she trusted his judgement better than her own doctors. But the school would call and would request to speak to his mother. He couldn't risk that happening and she not be coherent. The school, which so easily turned a blind eye to his other problems, wouldn't hesitate to report their belief that Diana Reid wasn't fit to care for her child. That would bring in the police and social services and Spencer would be taken away from her. He couldn't take that. She was all he had._

_And so, just like every day before this, Spencer braced himself and arrived at school on time. He sat in homeroom, listening to the sniggers and whispers behind him, forcing himself to ignore them. Everyone knew about what happened. At least thirty kids were there yesterday, it must have spread through the walls like a wildfire. The first bell sounded and he headed to first period, moving slower than normal. He knew what was waiting for him in there._

_Spencer stepped into the Advanced Biology classroom. As soon as he entered, the chatter died down a bit, soon followed by stifled giggles. He could feel his cheeks flushing red behind his glasses, but Spencer ignored it, hurrying to his seat. As usual his lab partner, Jeremy Bundle, inched his chair away from him. An obvious gesture that indicated he wanted nothing to do with the abnormal boy. Spencer quickly pulled out his latest book and began reading, trying to block out the rest of the world._

_It was the bustle of movement that distracted him from his reading. The two girls who almost always were together hurried in, talking animatedly. Spencer felt himself blush profusely again, and pretended to turn back to his book. Secretly he watched them... especially her._

_Alexa looked as beautiful as ever. She was wearing her scarlet and gold cheerleader uniform, her blonde hair was loose and free around her shoulders and she had a bright smile, her pink lips around her perfect gleaming teeth. It wasn't fair, why did she have to be so pretty?_

_She and Harper spotted Spencer as they sat at the counter. At the sight of him, they almost burst out laughing, stopping it with flow of fake coughing. They took their seats, right across the aisle from Spencer and Jeremy._

_"So, what did you guys do last night?" Jeremy said kindly, looking at the girls over the top of the young boy's head._

_"Oh not much," Harper giggled, pulling out her books. "Just had some fun with friends. What about you?"_

_Their conversation was definitely staged. All three of them had been on the field yesterday. In fact, Jeremy had been the one to remove his sneakers and toss them into the fountain in front of the ticket stand, which was donated by his own parents._

_"Hung out on the football field, then went home and ordered pizza." He replied. "And what about you, Spencer? Do anything interesting last night?"_

_Spencer wouldn't give them the satisfaction by responding. He turned the page, pretending to be so engrossed in his book, The Mummy, the Will, and the Crypt._

_"You look tired," Alexa mentioned with a chuckle. "Were you out late or something?"_

_The room was practically vibrating with the silent laughter. Spencer's face was hot and burning. He understood a lot more about the world the most people did. How people could hurt someone without the slightest bit of regret was the greatest anamoly in the universe. He certainly couldn't do it. He hated to think of someone in the slightest bit of pain, always wanting to step in and stop it._

_Before another comment could come forth, Mr. Dixon stepped in to begin class. Everyone quieted down, ready to turn in homework and take notes. The giggles quieted, but didn't silence, springing up at odd moments during the class. Mr. Dixon certainly noticed, but never said a word, not wanting to get involved. It was like that for the rest of the day, the longest school day of Spencer Reid's._

Horror crossed through this place every day, and yet Reid always felt so welcome in the BAU. This was the first place he felt he belonged. Through it, he finally became a part of a family. In a round about way, it brought him to the love of his life. He was free here. This was his safe place. His home, his sanctuary. He loved it here.

Correction, he used to love it here.

Alexa Lisbon once again had to mess with him. In a matter of seconds, she stepped into his world and tainted everything. Whether it was a day or a mere matter of minutes, it would be with him forever. He'd seen some of the most horrible things in the world. He'd seen children die, buildings explode, he'd looked death in the eye more times than he could count, and yet he'd relive all those moments over ten times to avoid going into that conference room.

Through the blinds, he could see her. She sat at the round table, a cloud of depression hanging around her. Were he a lesser person, he'd feel pleased that she was in such sorrow. But Hotch's words surfaced in his mind. _She's a grieving mother and and she's grasping out for someone to help her._ The thought of an innocent child suffering made him want to throw up worse than Riley'd been doing all day.

Well, he might as well get this over with. Taking a deep breath, Reid trudged the rest of the way across the catwalk to the open door of the conference room.

* * *

><p>Riley finally felt well enough to escape the bathroom. Nothing much was left in her stomach, but the nausea lingered about her for the time being. She needed something to settle her stomach. Crackers or maybe some 7Up... no, that wasn't it. What did she need... perhaps she'd know when she saw it. And with that thought, she headed to the kitchenette.<p>

Emily and Morgan were gathered in the bull pen with JJ and Garcia when she arrived. That was her first stop. Their focus was on the blinds of the conference room. She spotted Spencer through the window. Hotch confronted him for a moment. His body language suggested a very stoic and demanding manner. Spencer's response to that was something so cold, it sent a chill all the way down here. In a moment, Hotch stepped out, leaving Reid alone with none other than Alexa Lisbon.

"What do you think's going on?" JJ asked, standing beside Emily as she leaned on her desk.

"I don't know, who's he talking to?" Emily wondered.

"Someone named Alexa Hillman." Morgan replied. "I've never heard him mention her before." Suddenly, he noticed Riley had joined the group. "You know her?"

"Not particularly," Riley said with a shake of her head.

"But you do know her." Emily noted, looking to her curiously.

Startled, Riley backed away a bit. "What makes you think that?"

"If you didn't at least have an idea who she was, you'd be watching them like a hawk, concerned over what they're talking about. That means either you know her personally or you know what they're talking about." She answered.

Riley gave a roll of her eyes, "I hate profilers." She grumbled as she folded her arms and leaned against her husband's desk.

"You and me both, Honey Bunny." Garcia agreed, giving a laugh, never turning from the window.

Riley watched with caution as Spencer took a seat, his back to them. She wasn't about to reveal anything to others. And while she did know who she was, Riley didn't know what they were talking about up there... or how it was effecting Spencer.

Everyone's attention returned to the windows, waiting for some clue as to what was going on. All except one. Garcia took a glance at the young therapist and went to look back when she quickly doubled back. Something about her appearance was disturbing.

"Riley, are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

"Yes," Riley replied, caught off guard. "Why do you ask?"

"You look a little pale, that's all." Garcia replied. "Are you sick?"

"Oh... yeah," She answered. "I've got a touch of the flu."

"Sorry, Parker," Morgan replied. "You probably caught it from me."

"Really?" She asked, intrigued. "Are you throwing up?"

"Every morning. And I keep getting dizzy and... every now and then I get this atrocious stomach pain."

"I've got that, too, minus the stomach pain." Riley admitted. "Well, at least I've got that to look forward to."

Emily, however, looked to Morgan with worry. "I didn't know you were sick."

"It's just a small flu bug." Morgan shrugged, as if it were nothing. "It's not enough to keep me from work, it's nothing to worry about."

"How long have you had it?" Riley asked.

"About four weeks now." He admitted without batting an eyelash.

"A month?" Emily exclaimed. She was stunned by this, appalled that she'd never noticed it. "Maybe you should see a doctor."

"Relax, Prentiss, I'm fine." He grumbled, waving it off. "I haven't even gotten a fever of 99 degrees, I'm fine."

She wasn't convinced in the least, any bit of fever was a cause of concern. Emily opened her mouth to argue but stopped short. She caught sight of Garcia and JJ looking at her inquistively, wondering where this sudden concern for him came from. She backed off and shrugged. "Well, I can't very well have a partner who's barfing on the unsub, can I?"

"I don't know, it might be a fresh technique to bring them down." Riley teased with a grin, getting a laugh from the others. She caught Emily's eye before turning and heading off to the break room. There was no point in torturing herself over there when there was nothing she could do. Besides, her nausea had rapidly morphed into an awkward hunger and she needed something to satisfy it. And as she left, it didn't surprise her when Emily followed.

Riley made a beeline for the refrigerator. Emily rushed in, lowering her voice so the others wouldn't be attracted. "Four weeks? He's been sick for four weeks and I never even noticed?"

"Sweetie, he probably hid it from you." Riley assured as she searched through the fridge for something to eat. "I know I've been hiding my flu from Spencer for two weeks so he wouldn't worry. And I'm sure Morgan did it for the same concern."

Her nose wrinkled as she scowled at the lack of sustenance. She was craving something, but she couldn't determine for what. The shelves were bare except for a few things. There was water and creamer and a few labled lunches. She squatted down to continue her quest.

"Why would you catch his illness and not me?" She exclaimed in a light hiss.

"Believe me, I'd trade with you in a second," Riley informed, glancing at her. She quickly returned to her search. "Look, everyone's immune system is different. Maybe you didn't catch it because it's better than his and mine. Trust me, if it's meant to be, you'll be throwing up in a week or so."

"Thanks," Emily said with a roll of her eyes. It didn't make her feel any better. Some girlfriend, not noticing when her boyfriend was sick. And she believed she was in love with him.

Riley barely heard her as her eyes spotted something in the produce drawer. There was a bag of fresh green apples inside. The plump, round fruit was calling out to her. She could hardly resist.

"Are these for anybody?" She asked, desperately. If they weren't, she just might take one anyway.

Emily glanced at the drawer, knowing the cleaning crew replaced the food in there every few days. Most of the people left the fruit and vegetables alone until they rotted. Healthy food was not incredibly popular around here.

"Help yourself." She informed. Riley quickly grabbed an apple and went to wash it. Clean now, she bit into it without even bothering to dry it. Instantly, the tart sweetness hit her tongue and immediately began to satisfy her need.

* * *

><p>"I'm sure Reid will be in in a moment." Hotch informed as he set a mug of hot tea before Alexa. He took the seat beside her, a mug of his own in hand.<p>

"Reid," She mumbled, her hands wrapping around the porcelain. Every inch of her skin felt like it had been crawling since the minute she realized her baby was missing. Gripping the cup gave her a sense of stability. "It's weird hearing him referred to like that... it's like he's a completely different person."

"If I'm correct, Reid was twelve-years-old the last time you saw him." Hotch said lightly. "He is a much different person."

He was twelve. Alexa remembered the last day she saw him. Graduation Day, standing at the podium as he gave his Validictorian speech. John and their friend Jeremy were ripping their programs into balls and flicking them at the poor boy. She and her best friend Harper could barely contain their giggles. Just the thought of it now made Alexa sick to her stomach. How could she have been so cruel to that little boy?

"I can't imagine what you must be going through." Hotch mentioned, misconstruing her grimace as one of worry for her son. "I have a son about your boy's age, and if he went missing, I would be doing just as you are to find him."

"Thank you for understanding." Alexa muttered, looking up to meet his eyes. "Most people think I've lost my mind because I've been sticking to this. I'm not clinging to false hope, you know... I just want to know what happened to my baby."

"How old did you say he was again?" Hotch wondered.

"Six," She answered. "He and his twin sister Penny turned six on April 9th... it seems like yesterday I was bringing them home from the hospital."

Hotch always felt for the victims as well as their families. He, however, knew how to remain objective on the job. He never let his emotions get in the way. So it surprised him when, as Alexa's left hand rested on the table, he reached over and took it in his. Her palm was warmed from the heat of the tea, her fingers clutching him tightly, returning his grasp. Her skin was a bit calloused and rough, indicating she had little personal time, focusing more on work and her family. Though he had learned little about the man, Hotch had a sense John Hillman was not a star husband. But, having never met the man, he couldn't really judge.

At last, Reid arrived, stepping into the room. His hazel eyes focused coldly on the despondent woman at the table, who looked to him with frightened eyes. They were green, older man noticed, a soft green that reminded Aaron of a lilypad on the pond.

"Alright, I'm here," He grumbled. He was acting like an adolescent who's parents were forcing him into a family function. It was unprofessional and Hotch wouldn't stand for it. Despite their history, Reid had the image of the FBI to uphold. He had to act professional.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone." He said. As Hotch stood, he gave Alexa's hand one more squeeze before releasing his grip. Her hand returned to the ceramic mug, needing something to hang on to.

He didn't leave right away, however. He stood before Reid, stepping closer to him to disclude anyone else from the conversation.

"Reid," He said. While he spoke softly, there was a demanding tone about his words, sharpening the younger man's ears. "I know this is hard for you, but this isn't about you. I realize the two of you have a history, so that should tell you, however hard it is for you to listen to her, it's that much harder for her to come to you. You don't have to be her friend, you just have to listen to her. You will treat her as any other mother asking for your help, understood?"

He couldn't get his throat to work. His head barely moved as he nodded. It was enough for his boss and Hotch took his leave, leaving the two alone. Reid's eyes lingered on the carpet until he heard the door close.

Silence. It was unbelievable just how deafening silence could be. He knew she was staring at him, wondering when he'd make his first move. Or perhaps just for him to meet her gaze.

He couldn't stay standing here forever. The sooner he was done here, the sooner he could get on with his life. At last, he braced himself and stood, straight and tall, meeting her eyes.

She'd been waiting for him. Alexa almost trembled as their eyes met. But it gave her the push to speak. "I can't believe how grown up you are."

"Yeah, I'm a lot older with my clothes on." He grumbled, his eyes narrowing into slits, and was satisfied as she shrunk back. Thinking of that innocent child once again, he purposely walked to the other side of the room to take the seat across the table from her. Not in the mood for pleasantries, he cleared his throat. "Alright... you're here. Start from the beginning."

* * *

><p>AN: I'm sorry posting is kind of slow, guys. Along with the holidays, I'm in the process of moving, so my time is occupied by packing. But I'm still working on both my stories, so hang in there guys. I appreciate it! And please review! :)


	5. Caring Human Being

"Don't you need a notepad or something?" She wondered, curious. Maybe he couldn't do much, but maybe - just maybe - he could find one clue. One sign as to where her baby was... what happened to him or who took him away. She wouldn't have come here if she didn't think there was a chance.

"I have an eidetic memory, remember?" He groaned, annoyed.

"Oh... right..." Alexa stammered, thinking back. There was little she could recall about Spencer and his abilities. All she knew for sure was he was exceptionally smart, said to have an IQ higher than most people in recorded history... but they didn't care back then. All they wanted to do was prove he was inferior to them.

Reid let out an annoyed sigh. "I can remember everything you tell me, word for word. Like a tape recorder." He explained. "Now, as I said, start from the beginning. Who are we looking for?"

"My son," Alexa admitted at once. She knew her ignorance was increasing his agitation and she didn't want to push him any further. "Peter..."

"Peter," Reid repeated, his voice softened. "And how old is he?"

"Six," She answered. "He's in the first grade... with his twin sister, Penny."

A twin, that struck in Reid's mind. It could explain why he was targeted, but if that were the case, the sister was in danger as well. He tried to think of them as just a boy and girl. It helped keep him objective through this. Regardless of his feelings for Alexa, however, he made a point to contact the police in order to protect that little girl.

Despite his effort to remain detached, he listened intently as the weepy woman began to reveal more about her child. "He's such a sweet little boy... he's quiet and he loves to play... he looks just like his father... with wavy blonde locks and jade green eyes, and a face like a little angel. He's my only little boy... I have to find him."

"When did he go missing?" Reid asked. His gentle tone surprised him more than her.

As she opened her mouth to speak, tears choked her into submission. She whipped a tissue out of her sleeve. Reid noticed that as a motherly trait. His mother often did that, even now when her son had long outgrown her assistance at wiping his nose. JJ did it now. She often stashed one or two up her sleeve, even when her sons were across the country. It was something out of habit.

"Uh..." She mumbled, thinking back to his question. "About two months"

At that, Reid let out a low grumble. She had certainly wasted his time, just as he had suspected. "I'm sorry, Alexa, I can't help you."

"What?" She exclaimed, meeting his eyes once again.

"I understand you can't let go of the hope, but there's nothing to be done." He admitted. "Child kidnapping is a serious issue, and most victims are..." He stumbled over the word. He was having trouble at the fact he was about to destroy this woman's whole world. "...are killed... within the first 24 hours."

Alexa swallowed, forcing herself to keep her emotions buried. "Is that so."

"I'm sorry for you're loss, but there's nothing I can do." He revealed. Honestly, he said that with more feeling than he believed possible.

She watched in a startled amazement as he got to his feet. "But I can't do this without you."

Reid would have said the exact same thing to one of his teammates, although he'd be much more sympathetic about it. "There's nothing I can do. Without any substantial evidence your son could still be alive, there's no reason to waste government manpower on searching for his body, not when there are lives we can actually save. I'm sorry... have a safe trip back to Vegas."

And with that, Reid turned and headed to the door. At once, Alexa was on her feet, chasing after him. "Spencer, wait please!"

Her scream startled him, stopping to turn back as she grabbed his arm. His eyes found hers, lost in a sea of swelling tears, begging him to help her. "Please..." She said in a partial sob, "Spencer, I'm not naive. I know my son is dead... I know that. I just..." Her sobs got caught in her words as tears began to stream down her face. "I just want to know what happened to him... He needs to come home, so we can bury him with his teddy bear... please... please..." Her hands gripped his sweater in her hands, the fabric clutched in bunches.

In that moment, Reid allowed himself to believe his answer was only to make her let him go, that he believed she wouldn't release him until he gave in. "I..." He stuttered, damning himself with each syllable. "I... can't..."

She let out another sob, about to release the grip on him. "I can't do it alone." He continued. "I work better with my team... let me assemble them and... you can tell us everything you've learned."

At that, Alexa gasped. "I... I have some of the files. Police reports and... evidence logs... I can bring them up."

He was suspicious as to how she'd manage to get her hands on those, but didn't care enough to ask. "You do that," Reid said as he managed to wrench himself from her hold and continued out the door, grateful to put some distance between them, for however short a time.

* * *

><p>Rossi was the last of the group to arrive that day, coming in after a long mind numbing meeting with their section chief. His first attention went to the group conversing in the bull pen, like a group of kids goofing off while the substitute teacher was out of the room.<p>

He stepped over to join them. "This is certainly productive. Do I dare ask what's going on?"

"Somebody came by this morning looking for Reid." Morgan explained, leaning back in his chair. "Some woman who seemed very upset and determined to speak to the young man."

The reoccuring pain was acting up again in Morgan's abdomen, making each breath a difficult chore. Pressing his hand on the spot helped eased the discomfort. Luckily no one seemed to notice. Years of being a profiler had taught him how to remain stoned face through any emotion and illness, helping hide his illness from Emily. If she knew he were sick, she'd feel obligated to take care of him... and he didn't want that.

At his response, Rossi was suddenly as interested as the others. There wasn't much they could tell from this angle. "Any idea what she wants?"

"Not a clue." JJ replied. "But it doesn't seem like she's a stranger."

Emily nodded in agreement, sitting partially on Reid's desk. Riley was in his seat, anxiously awaiting him to come out and tell her what this was all about. She was considering calling her office to reschedule her appointment this afternoon. She hated to do that, but her husband needed her more.

"God," Emily muttered as she looked at the young therapist. "You ate that whole thing already."

It was true. Riley was nawing at the last remnants of the apple. Chewing the last bit of the fruit's meat, she tossed the core in Reid's trash bin. "I know," she mumbled, reaching for a tissue to wipe her mouth. "It's weird, I don't even like apples."

The comment triggered something in JJ's head. She looked to Riley with great curiousity, even more than she had for Reid.

"You don't like apples?" She questioned. The woman couldn't have been that hungry. After all, there were plenty of snacks in the cupboards. "Why'd you eat it, then?"

Riley shrugged. "I don't know. I saw them in the fridge and they just looked so good, I couldn't resist. I might go get another one."

It didn't mean anything. The human body often craved things when they were missing certain nutrients. Riley avoided fruits and vegetables most of the time, her system may have desired those vitamins.

It was a logical conclusion... but still, as JJ turned back, she couldn't quite push the concern aside. It lingered in the back of her mind.

They sat up instinctively, seeing Reid get out of his seat. Alexa Hillman rushed to stop him before he left her behind, obviously pleading with him over something. This was unbearable; what on Earth was going on up there?

At last, he pulled from her and the sound of the door opening sent them away. They each turned, pretending to be too engrossed in their conversation to care what he was doing.

Reid stood above them, observing the scene from the catwalk. "You guys don't have to hide it, I know you've been watching."

There was no point in pretending. Everyone turned as Reid casually walked down to the bull pen, joining them.

"We're just worried about you, Reid." Garcia said kindly. "It's obvious you weren't a very happy camper having to talk to her."

"Who is she, Reid?" Rossi wondered.

His eyes moved through the group, spotting Riley as she stood beside his desk. "You didn't tell them?" He asked.

"It wasn't my place to tell, Sweetie." Riley replied.

That was kind of her, but most things of his life, he wound up telling these people anyway. He looked to everyone, waiting with batted breath. "She's a girl I knew... from high school." At that, his eyes traveled up to meet Morgan's, who stood beside him. "Alexa Lisbon."

Morgan gasped lightly and stood in shock for no less than ten seconds, suddenly filled with guilt. "Reid... I'm sorry, if I had known... I would have turned her away."

"It's okay," He nodded, looking away, avoiding everyone's eyes. He did not, _did not_, want to relive that story right now. Or ever. It had been difficult enough to tell Morgan six years ago. It was painful to retell it to Rilley, but she'd always been easy to open up to. Even after all this time and all he'd experienced and accomplished in life, the memory still twisted his stomach into knots.

If he played a low key, the others would never need to know. He looked up, and through the group found Riley's adoring gaze glowing in her beautiful brown eyes. Those eyes gave him the strength to lift a car.

"Her son turned up missing two months ago." He explained to the others. "I told her the statistics of his survival and that there wasn't much anyone could do, but she begged me to look over the case... she knows he's dead, she just... wants to know what happened to her son. Reluctantly, I agreed we would look at the case."

"We can do that." Rossi assured. "Let's take a few hours to finish our work and we'll look over it at the end of the day."

"I've got nothing to do right now, I can work with her to set up a presentation." JJ offered kindly.

"You guys don't have to." Reid exclaimed at once. "I understand if you're too busy. You can't just put everything on hold to help someone who just waltzes in here-"

"Reid," Emily stopped him, brushing his arm. "We don't mind. We're not doing it for her, we're doing it for you."

With that, he gave a twitch of a smile. It was hard to be bitter knowing his friends cared about him so much. "Thanks guys."

JJ took a glance up in the conference room, where Alexa was finishing her tea. "I'll go talk to her, help arrange the files for when we're ready."

"I'll help you, Jay," Garcia said, and the two began their journey to the conference room.

The others agreed to meet at four. Rossi headed to his office while Morgan and Emily went to grab a quick bite to eat. Suddenly, Reid stood alone in the bull pen, face to face with the only woman he wanted to be alone in a room with.

"Are you okay?" She asked kindly as she moved closer.

"I guess," He shrugged. "I was kind of hoping I'd just talk to her for a half hour before telling her off and walking away."

Riley reached to pull him into her arms. Reid rested his head in her shoulder, clutching to her tightly for support. He felt one hand caress his shoulder while the other lost itself in his shortened hair. Nothing could ease nor excite him like the feel of her touch, accentuated by the scent of roses. He buried his face in the fabric of her violet blouse, inhaling deeply.

"I know, I wanted that for you, too." She moaned, pressing a kiss on his cheek. "You know you could have done that anyway, and you had every right to. The fact that you agreed to help her like this just proves what an amazing, caring human being you are."

"I guess that's a good thing." He grumbled, his words muffled by her blouse.

"Of course it's a good thing," She said, moving so she could look at him. Her hand tenderly stroked through his hair. "It's one of the many reasons I fell in love with you. Remember when you stayed outside my apartment all night in Seattle to protect me, even though you hated me?"

"I never hated you." He corrected, his hands slid down the curves of her spine. They landed on her skirt, just above her backside.

"Nevertheless, you were still there." She reached to gently brush his temple. "You're always there because you can't bear to see someone suffer. That's why you chose to do this job. So you just remember, it doesn't matter what she did to you or what she thinks of you. The only person who's opinion of you matters is mine. And I think you are the most wonderful..." She pressed a quick butterfly kiss on his cheek, "the kindest..." another kiss peppered another spot lightly, "sexiest man alive... not to mention the smartest. And I love you."

For the first time since he'd heard that woman was here waiting for him, Reid breathed a sigh of calm relief. "How do you always make me feel better?"

She smiled, her arms wrapping around his neck, bringing her closer. She stood on her tiptoes, resting her brow on his. "And for the record, you shouldn't be too hard on her. After all..." She gave a seductive smirk with a twitch of her eyebrows. "She's not the only one who's stripped you naked and tied you up."

Reid blushed as he rolled his eyes, a dopey grin crossing over his face. "It's a lot more fun when you do it."

Riley giggled and their lips met. Reid let out low moan, the last remnants of his bitterness melting away at the feel of her tender kiss. She was absolutely right, he knew. It didn't matter about anyone else. Riley loved him. She adored him, lighting up like a firefly whenever she saw him. He saved her life several times, but she gave him a reason to live.

Their lips parted begrudgingly and Riley gave his hair one more stroke. "I'd better go, I still have my session, but I'll be back in time."

"No," Reid shook his head, suddenly serious. "I want you to go home afterward, you're sick, you need your rest."

"Oh, Baby, I'm fine." Riley waved it off. "In fact, I ate an apple a few minutes ago and I'm feeling a lot better."

"An apple?" He mentioned. That did not sound right. "Wow, you must be sick."

"Ha ha," She sarcastically remarked and pulled away. "I'll see you in a few hours, I love you."

"I love you, too. Very much." He said. Reid grasped her hand, refusing to release it until the last possible second. He watched her until she was safely on the elevator. Alone now, he glanced up to the conference room. There, JJ and Garcia were talking with Alexa. It felt like a paradox, his two separate lives combined in one space. He could have gone up to help his friends, but those few minutes around Alexa had been a little too much for him. He needed to find his bearings before he faced her again, and so sat at his desk to lose himself in some paperwork.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the others were anxious to learn more about this woman. It was clear whatever history she had with their friend, it wasn't a pleasant memory. It was wrong to be nosy, to pry into the darker moments of Reid's past, considering how he reacted when they did discover something less than pleasant. But Reid's life before the BAU was a bit of a mystery. He didn't like to talk about it much, even the better moments... this was just too incredible to pass by.<p>

Emily bided her time in the elevator, standing with Morgan. He didn't even bother pulling her into a kiss, knowing she'd much rather spend the alone time talking. He simply waited, ticking down the seconds until the question was finally asked.

"So..." She mumbled, at last turning to him. "Who is Alexa Lisbon?"

He was impressed, she lasted until the second floor. Morgan let out a sigh, shaking his head. "We shouldn't talk about it."

"Oh my God, what do you know?" Emily cried. It was obvious from the way Reid said the name to her that Morgan knew who she was... but there was a lot more there than just the recognition of a name.

"Emily..." He muttered, chosing his words carefully. "We shouldn't be talking about this, it's not fair to the kid."

"How do you even know who she is?" Emily asked. "You never met her before, otherwise you would have recognized her this morning."

"No, I've never met her before today." He explained. "Reid... he was going through a tough time one day... he opened up to me about something that happened in high school. Alexa Lisbon was one of the instigators... and if it hadn't been for her, it wouldn't have happened. It was really hard for him to tell me... he almost broke down in tears."

It was amazing how a friend's pain could hurt someone worse than her own. "I'm not telling you what happened, I won't betray him like that. And if you care about Reid at all, you won't ask him."

"I won't," Emily assured. She wouldn't dream of it.

* * *

><p>Alexa Lisbon. The name kept resonating in Riley's mind that afternoon. She still had another fifteen minutes before her patient, giving her some time to sit back and reflect. With the notes of her patient in hand, Riley sat to study them a moment, laying on one of her couches... the one Spencer always occupied during his sessions, she remembered.<p>

She wanted to kick herself for not asking that woman's name yesterday. Then again, she would have given her married name and Riley would have never known. But if she knew the truth before hand, Riley would have made it her mission to keep that bitch away from her husband.

Spencer didn't like to talk about his past. Riley appreciated and accepted that because she was the same way. They knew about each others lives, where they'd come from, what they'd experienced, but after four and a half years, there wasn't much else to discuss. Their interest wasn't on the past anyway, nor was it the future. It was one the beautiful parts of being a newlywed. Their focus was on the here and now, lost in each other with blissful conversations and making love every chance they got.

Now, the memories his eidetic memory had been desperate to block out were looking him right in the face. At one point or another, he was going to have to come to terms with this, whether it was confronting Alexa or just dealing with it himself... at least she could be there for him.

The problem was getting him to open up. Sure, she was his wife, but Spencer could be so difficult. Not that she could blame him... if someone were trying to get her to overcome her past by facing it... she'd be fighting tooth and nail to avoid it.

How much faith could a person have in his therapist when she herself can't even face her own problems...

_Her clothes were soaked through by the time she made it to her block. Riley clutched her book bag tighter to her chest. The straps broke this morning, forcing her to carry the whole thing back and forth from school, but wrapping her arms around the bundle kept her from shivering too much. She hoped her mother would be asleep or passed out by the time she got home, giving her a chance to get a hot shower._

_No such luck. The rain dripped down Riley's face as she frantically searched for her keys. The water fell onto the dozen books in her bag as she found the jagged pieces lost at the bottom of the bag. Whipping them out, she unlocked the front door and stumbled in. Somehow, it was colder in here than out._

_"Where the hell have you been?" Was the first thing Riley heard as she stepped into the front hall. The place was a mess, as always. Books and papers and numerous other objects she couldn't begin to remember nor name were littered all around the place. At one time, this may have been a lovely home, but it wasn't a time Riley could ever remember. It looked more suited for a crazy old lady with a dozen cats._

_She looked into the living room to find her mother sitting on the plaid tweed sofa, yellow with stuffing sticking out in odd places. There was already a brown bottle clutched in her hand, and judging by the freshest of the numerous odors in the place, it was beer._

_"I had a Drama Club meeting after school." She explained._

_"Drama Club?" Her mother said with a snort. "God, don't tell me now you want to be an actress."_

_Riley took a deep breath in order to keep her temper. "No, I joined so I can work backstage for the shows this year. If I want to get into Harvard, I need at least some activity in the arts."_

_Her mother snorted as she lifted her bottle to her lips. "Are you still on about that stupid school? You're never going to get in, so why are you even trying?"_

_She could have retaliated, but it was easier just to ignore her. She was not in the mood to start a fight. Drunk or sober, her mother had a mean temper and had no qualms about getting violent. In an attempt to ignore the woman, Riley unpacked her books from her bag. The fabric was completely soaked, there was no way she could use this anymore. Maybe there was an old duffle bag she could use for now._

_"Why are you all wet?" Her mother questioned, looking her daughter up and down._

_"It's raining out. It's been raining all day." Riley explained. She removed the last book from her bag, clutching it in her frozen hand for a moment. She'd found it yesterday at the used book store, The Shining. She'd never read Stephen King before, but it wouldn't hurt to give him a try._

_"Why didn't you wear your coat, you idiot?" Her mother grumbled. She tossed the empty bottle across the room, landing with a few other dead soldiers. There was no way to tell if those were old or new, there were a lot of them around this place._

_Riley did not like to be called an idiot. "I don't have a coat, remember?" She said, giving a glare to her mother. "I haven't had a winter coat since junior high. Remember? Thank God it's not snowing yet."_

_"Don't you get smart with me, little girl!" Her mother yelled as she got to her feet slowly, her wild black curly hair sweeping around her. It was very much like Riley's, with the same unruly behavior. Gray was starting to swarm through it, though, giving an indication of the woman's age. "You're lucky I let you even live here. I can't wait until you're 18 and I can finally kick your ass to the curb."_

_"Why wait?" Riley wondered, meeting her eyes. "Oh, that's right, then you'd be forced to actually get off your ass and take care of yourself for a change."_

_At that, a heavy sting struck Riley as her mother slapped her in the face. She stood immobile for a moment, her eyes squeezed shut as she dealt with the pain._

_"Don't you dare speak to me like that. Get those damn books out of my living room and clean up this mess in here." She ordered. Stepping away, she headed to the kitchen, no doubt for another beer or maybe something stronger. "One damn broken condom and I'm paying for it for the rest of my life."_

_Her voice trailed off and Riley was left alone. She'd love to defy her mother, leave her books here and just get into the shower, but the repercussions would be too much for her to bear. It was just easier to follow orders. Besides, what if it weren't a bluff and her mother did kick her out? Where would she go? She didn't have anyoney... not one person in the entire world. And she never would..._

A pounding knock on the door made her jump, forcing her to sit up. She hadn't even been aware she'd fallen asleep. It wasn't a surprise, she was exhausted today, and eyeing this couch when she came in, it just looked too comfortable to ignore. Unfortunately, her quick cap nap lead her into a nightmare... the saddest part was not a moment of it was from fantasy.

"Come in," Riley cried, swinging her legs over to sit up straight.

The door opened to reveal her colleauge, Dr. Gregory Redmond. When Riley had returned three years ago, she'd met her fellow therapist for the first time, one of the five who worked here. Redmond had been Sam Andrews replacement, and despite his wife of six years and his three daughters, Riley was very wary of the man, almost afraid of him. It took a long time before she didn't feel her heart rate speed up and her breathing become shallow. She often felt ashamed of that now, because Dr. Redmond was an excellent doctor and a very nice man.

"Hey, I've been knocking for awhile, everything alright?" He wondered with concern.

"Uh," She shook her head. "Yeah, sorry, I'm just distracted. What's up?"

"Carol and I are going away next weekend. We want to leave Thursday evening, I was hoping you could take my two patients on Friday." He said, still watching her with caution.

"Oh," Riley muttered, getting to her feet. Her notes were a mess on the coffee table and hurried to straighten them. "Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll get the files before I leave today."

"Great, thanks." He replied. He didn't leave immediately. In fact, he stepped further into the office. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" She wondered, knowing it was obvious.

"You just seem flustered, that's all." Redmond assured. "Everything okay with you and Spencer?"

"Oh," She gave a smile. "Yeah, we're great. He's... dealing with some things right now and I'm just worried about him, that's all."

He gave a hum of sympathy. "Well... you tell him if he ever wants to talk to someone professionally, I'm here."

"Thank you," She said kindly. "I'll remember that offer, in case he's ever interested. I appreciate it."

"No problem," He said, "You sure you're okay?"

Riley nodded, setting her newly gathered notes onto the table. "I'm fine. Thanks."

"Sure thing, and thanks again." Redmond said, and with that left the room, closing the door behind him.

Riley let out a sigh of relief, grateful to be alone. She straightened herself, taking a moment to wake herself fully. A difficult task considering how sleepy she was; a result of having no coffee over the last two days. The smell just made her want to be sick... speaking of which, the distant dizziness and nausea was beginning to claim her again.

At once, she realized she had to go to the bathroom. Again. Thankfully not to throw up this time. This was ridiculous, this had to be the fifth time she'd needed to use the restroom since she'd got back from the BAU. She wasn't sure what was worse, the nausea, the exhaustion, or her suddenly weak bladder. Hopefully she could get through this next hour without a problem.


	6. Loop Hole

JJ and Garcia tried not to stare. They spoke little to Alexa, only questioning her about her son's case. They were civil with her, but couldn't help being tentative, afraid if they got too friendly, they'd be betraying Reid.

It was almost four when everything was ready for the presentation. Alexa slowly rose out of her chair, unable to stand the awkward silence anymore. "Excuse me," She said, pulling the girl's attention. "Could you tell me where the Ladies' Room is, please?"

"Oh, yes," Garcia cried, "Go out through the unit doors, go right, it's right down that corridor."

"Thank you," She said softly, and swiftly left the room. The girls watched her until she was out of sight of the door and both inadvertently let out sighs of relief.

"I've been biting my tongue so much today, I think I drew blood!" Garcia exclaimed.

"I know," JJ nodded, arranging the stack of files, ready to be given out to each member. "I'm afraid if I talk to her, I might like her."

"No problem for me!" Garcia corrected, booting up her laptop so she'd be ready when they got started. The sassy analyst was always prepared. "I despise her for every hypothetical and actual pain she's caused our sweet boy out there."

JJ let out a hum of a sigh. "I want to hate her... but I don't know her and I can't hate her for things she's done in her past to a person I didn't even know back then. That's not fair."

At that, Garcia looked to her in awe and wonder. "It's almost unnatural how kind you are, Sweetie. Most people would just side with her friend, but you always give people a chance."

"Don't nominate me for sainthood just yet." JJ said with a partially serious glance. "Her son is not much older than Henry. Just the thought of my little boy being missing for two minutes makes my head spin. The pain Alexa's in... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, that's for sure."

With a nod, "You have a point... I hate the thought of any kid in danger."

"When you and Kevin have kids, you'll see it on a whole new level." She insisted.

"I guess if Reid were a father," Garcia said, turning to glance through the blinds at the young man in the bull pen, hunched over his desk to shut out the world, "he wouldn't be so reluctant to help her, even if it has been two months. Maybe he'll see it like you do someday, too."

With her back turned, she didn't see the amused smirk on JJ's face.

A few minutes later, the girls were joined by Emily. "Hey," She greeted pleasantly. "We almost ready to get started?"

"We're just waiting for the others." JJ said, handing her a file. "Where's Reid?"

"He's sitting at his desk, pretending he doesn't know what time it is." She explained taking a seat.

"Poor baby," Garcia tutted, looking on him sadly through the window again. "Let's try and make this quick and painless so he can get out of here."

"And we can get on with our weekend." Emily noted, flipping through the pages of the folder.

"Hmm," JJ hummed, "Is that a clue you've got something special planned this weekend?"

Before answering, she looked up and met JJ's eyes. Garcia's attention had returned to the room, listening with interest. Emily had missed this, chatting with the girls about her social life. Being with Morgan was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but keeping it a secret had it's downsides. Ones that were growing bigger each day. She was getting tired of keeping this secret and, more importantly, she was tired of lying to the two friends she told everything to.

"I might have a date." She said vaguely.

"With who?" Garcia cried. "Do we know him?"

"Do we know who, ladies?" Morgan said as he, too, came into the room.

"Oh, good, reinforcements." Garcia said. "We're just trying to figure out who the lovely Emily Prentiss is courting with this weekend. Any ideas, studly one?"

"It's no one!" Emily cried. She looked back at Morgan with an innocent smile. "Just this guy I know, he's kind of a moron, really nothing special. He's of no interest to you, trust me."

"Oh, I don't know, Prentiss." Morgan mentioned, attempting to casually take the seat a few spaces down from her. "Sounds like you don't really know the guy. Maybe he's the kind who appears like a caveman on the outside, but can completely rock your world if you give him the chance.'

"Yeah," She giggled, looking to her file. "I doubt it."

"Regardless, we expect details on Monday." JJ ordered with the flash of her eyes.

"You got it." Emily agreed. She secretly caught Morgan's eye and gave him a very different kind of smile. There were still some perks to keeping this quiet. She liked that there was a part of Morgan the others couldn't see, that belonged to only her. He quickly gave her a wink which sent butterflies in her stomach and the two looked away.

The atmosphere suddenly shifted as at last, Alexa returned from the restroom. She stopped short a moment at the two new faces in the room. "Oh, Alexa," JJ said, taking the initiative to be hospitable. "These are two members of our team, Agent Emily Prentiss."

Emily stood as she was presented, offering her hand to the young woman. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hillman."

"You, too," She answered timidly. "Thank you for... your help."

"Well, we'll do everything we can." Emily assured. "I'm very sorry about your son."

"Thank you," She mumbled, a slight choke in her throat.

JJ quickly continued. "And this is SSA Derek Morgan, you remember him from this morning."

"Oh, yes," She said softly, going over to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you, Agent Morgan."

As was polite, Morgan got to his feet, but his attitude was much different from this morning. This time he looked to the middle aged woman very coldly. There was pure loathing in his face, his body rigid as he shook her hand.

"Mrs. Hillman," He muttered. "You and Reid go way back, I hear."

There was a catch in her throat, stopping her speech for a moment. "Y-yes... I take it he's... told you about me."

"A little." He answered. He dropped her hand like it was something covered in grim. He looked away like she was some lower species and reclaimed his seat. Alexa knew to steer clear of this man, greatful her seat was a good distance from him at the table.

Rossi joined them next, who introduced himself pleasantly and professionally to the woman. He grabbed a file and took the seat next to Emily, beginning to scan the information.

Next to join them was Riley, grabbing a seat at the table. "Hey, you made it back." Emily exclaimed.

"Yeah, I just had the one session today." She informed, situated her bag beside her, trying to ignore the growing dizziness trying to claim her. If she just kept pushing it away, she wouldn't get sick again. She could fight this off. She'd fought off sadistic serial killers, a virus should be a piece of cake. "I figured Spencer needed me here."

Her eyes landed on Alexa right across from her, watching her with apprehension. Riley gave her a nod of acknowledgement. "Nice to see you again." She said in a stiff tone.

"You too," Alexa meakly replied, looking away. She felt very outnumbered in this room, but then she didn't need all of Spencer's friends surrounding her to make her feel like this. She felt enough shame in her daily life for the choices she'd made.

"Thanks for coming, Parker, we could use the help." Morgan noted, stretching back in his chair. It was the end of the day on a Friday, his body wanted to get out of here and relax. "You're pretty good with children cases."

"Are you sure you're up to it, you still look pretty pale." Garcia mentioned.

"I'm... just a little nauseas, it'll pass." Riley waved it off, grabbing one of the files.

"How about I make you a ginger tea, it might help." JJ said, heading to the door. "It did wonders for me."

Riley didn't normally like tea, but she'd do almost anything to at least keep this at bay until she got home. "Wait... you mean you had this?"

She glanced back, thankful her smile didn't give her away. "Yeah... a couple of times. It was awhile ago, though. I'll be back."

That was curious, but Riley brushed it aside. "Where's Spencer, I didn't see him when I came in."

Emily looked out at the group of desks, surprised he'd disappeared. "He was there a second ago... maybe he's getting coffee."

"Yeah, probably trying to drown himself in the pot." Morgan mumbled. Riley shot him an annoyed look. This was going to be hard enough on Spencer, he didn't need everyone's comments and concerns plaguing him.

Hotch hurried in to join the others. "Oh, good, everyone's here." He mentioned, quickly fetching a file. "Are we ready to get started?"

"We're just waiting on Reid, sir." Garcia said. "And JJ's making Riley some tea."

"Tea?" He looked at her curiously. "Who died?"

"Ha ha, it's for my flu." She grumbled. She wanted to hurry this up and get home, probably almost as much as Spencer, whom she was starting to get worried about. Surely, if he were going sneak out and leave, he would have told her. At least sent her a text. She reached for her phone to check her messages again.

Moving around the table, Hotch spotted one of the few empty spots left. "May I sit here?" He asked Alexa kindly, surprising himself with the smile he gave her.

With all the negative energy around her, Alexa was grateful for his welcoming prescence. "Of course," She said, matching his kind expression. His seat was a bit too close to hers, but oddly she didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable. "I want to thank you, Agent Hotchner, for your help today. I can hardly get the time of day from the police, I'll never be able to thank you for your kindness."

"If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know." He said gently, and gave her shoulder a pat.

The others didn't take much stock in Hotch's gesture to the woman, but Riley knew him longer than the others. This friendly expression was more than odd, as was the way he locked eyes with her for a moment... and lingered for just a moment longer than natural.

No one was talking much, just little comments here and there. They were glad it was Friday, that it seemed bad rain was planned for the weekend, nothing more serious than that. They were anxious to get started, much more than the more serious time sensitive cases ensued.

It was almost ten minutes before JJ returned. "Look what I found," She cried as she came in. A few steps behind, Reid at last joined the others in the room.

"Hey," Rossi said, "We thought you made a break for the border."

"Couldn't, I didn't have the car." He replied without missing a beat. He walked over to the open seat beside Riley, leaning down to give her a quick kiss. He set steaming cup of ginger tea before her, sitting down. "Feeling better?"

"Uh..." She stuttered. "I'm doing okay."

She ran a loving hand through his hair, bringing a half smile to his face. "Alright, let's get this over with."

He chilled Alexa with a frosty glance, turning away quickly. If he could help this little boy, he would, but there was nothing he could do but bring his body home. He'd do everything possible here before sending her away with a request to never darken his doorstep again.

"I want everyone to realize, we're just reading over the evidence and making a partial profile." Hotch informed as he opened his folder. "We can't get involved in this case without the proper circumstance. Understood?"

Everyone nodded and replied in agreement. With that, JJ had the floor, everyone looking to her to start the presentation.

"Two months ago," She spoke firmly, "Peter Hillman, age six, was abducted from his suburban home in Las Vegas. There was no sign of forced entry on any entrance to the house, there was no call or contact from the kidnapper, and since then, there has been no sign of his body."

She pressed a few buttons on the remote and suddenly, Peter Hillman's smiling face appeared on the screen. Just like Henry, Peter greatly resembled his mother. Wavy blonde locks and sea green eyes, just as Alexa had said, but with the same smile and bright sparkle pupils Reid had remembered from all those years ago."

A stifled sob startled them. Alexa had begun to break down at the sight of her little boy illuminated before her. She struggled to keep her stability, one hand covering her mouth, the other gripping the edge of the table, her knuckles pure white. Reid forced himself to look away, hunching over so his only focus was on the file.

Clearing her throat, JJ continued, "The last person to see or speak to Peter was his six-year-old twin sister, Penny. His parents say the two children were put to bed at 8 o'clock. Penny woke at her usual time the next morning, but when his mother came to rise him for school at 7:30, she discovered he was missing. After a quick sweep of the house and the neighborhood, they contacted the local authorities."

"Peter's a twin," Morgan mentioned. "That could be a reason why he was targeted."

"Normally when an unsub targets twins, he'll take them both at the same time, or one and then return for the other." Emily explained. "After all this time, he hasn't returned. Have you noticed anyone hanging around your home, or possibly showing up in places you usually visit?"

Alexa took a moment to answer, shaking her head. "No, the house was under survellliance for a long time, but the cops found nothing... I haven't seen anyone suspcious follow me."

"What about your other children?" Hotch asked.

"I..." She thought for a moment. "I don't know."

"Have you even thought to ask them?" Reid wondered, looking up, his gaze on her was heavy and hard. Even in her state of distress, he couldn't help but feel the anger and bitterness in his stomach again, growing through his body like ivy vines.

Looking up, she said sternly. "You don't think the police interrogated my daughters, Spencer? They don't know anything."

Rossi spoke up next, bringing an abrupt end to a possible fight. "Garcia, look up in the Las Vegas area, see if there's any similar cases of small boys or boys of twins being kidnapped within the last six months."

"Right away, sir." She answered, speedily typing.

"Unless there is at least two other victims, we can't consider this a serial killer." Morgan said. "It could just be a first time offense."

"In a case like this, however, if he struck once, he will strike again." Hotch corrected. "And if Peter is his first, more than likely he hasn't perfected his MO, someone disorganized would be a lot easier to track down."

JJ reclaimed her seat, her part of the briefing just about finished. "Should we contact the Las Vegas police or field office to put them on alert?"

"We don't have any proof, just a theory." Hotch said. "They'll take our information, but they won't start an investigation without more hard evidence."

"Which means another body." Emily specified solemnly.

"There must be something we can do." Riley exclaimed. "If you know another child is going to be sacrificed, you have to find a way to stop it."

"We can't just go to Vegas and start an investigation." Reid exclaimed. "It's horrible, yes, but it's important to keep the trust of local authorities. If the word got out we were taking over a case without any following protocol, no one would invite us anymore. Then we'd all be out of a job."

That was not Reid. She knew her husband and if there was a case they needed to get involved with, he would immediately brainstorm to find a way, especially if it involved protecting children. He was so determined not to help this woman, it was actually repulsive. Once he came to his senses, he was going to hate himself, she knew, but there was no reasoning with him now.

"There is a loop hole," Hotch announced unexpectedly.

The entire room looked to him with surprised interest. Not that Hotch wasn't helpful, but he followed the rules, he waited for a specific invitation and, while he cared about children, he knew there were serious cases that needed their attention over a hypothetical one.

"What?" JJ asked.

"It's not specifically in the rule book," He began, closing the file and folding his hands, "but, it is understood that if a case is connected personally to one it's agents... we can intervene, no questions asked."

Reid almost jumped out of his chair. He wanted to run out of this room out the bull pen and the whole way home on foot. He knew what was coming and it made his insides burn like he swallowed antifreeze.

"How are we going to do that?" Emily asked.

"Well," He said slowly, and at last his dark eyes looked up, searching for his target. "Reid... you know Alexa personally, you could make the claim."

At once, he began to argue his case. "She and I haven't spoken in twenty years, and even before that we barely knew each other."

"You don't have to pretend you know each other's life histories, Reid." Rossi assured. "You just need proof you knew her before this. You're word is good enough."

Reid stood at a crossroads. If he agreed, Alexa Lisbon would win once again, and if he denied... he would be a monster. Either decision made him feel sick.

Across the table, he met Alexa's gaze. The sea green was pleading with him, begging him to help her. It felt like he was standing on the ledge of a cliff and she was gripping it with just the tips of her fingers, begging Reid to pull her back to solid ground. An evil was starting to grow inside him and he was beginning to relish the thought of pushing her into the abyss... of saying no. And she would never have that which she most longed for.

As he began to form the word, however, a soft warmth took his hand underneath the table. He couldn't be a monster in front of her. Looking away, he fell into the rich brown pools of her eyes. She was pleading with him, too, to speak up. He had the power to help, he had to do it. Not for Alexa's sake of her son's... but for his.

His eyes still on Riley, he let out an annoyed sigh. "Alright... I'll do it."

"Okay," Hotch informed. "No point in wasting time. I know it's Friday, but it's best we get on this as soon as possible. If anyone has an obligation or objection, you're not required to come, but we would appreciate the help."

"I'll be there." JJ announced first. "I'll call the Vegas authorities, explain the situation and tell them to expect us."

"Very well," Hotch informed. "Everyone, go home and pack, and be back in about an hour."

The others agreed and hurriedly left the conference room. All but one, however. Reid remained in his seat, trying to make sense of what just happened.

He didn't realize two other women were still in the room with him, the most loved and most hated ones in his life. Alexa stood with fear on the side of the room, wanting desperately to say something to him, to thank him for all he was doing to help her... but she couldn't speak.

"Spencer," Riley said, brushing his shoulder. She managed to pull his attention to her and gave him a warm smile. "Are you ready to go?"

"Uh..." He couldn't believe he was doing this. He wanted to run... at difficult times, he often thought how comforting it would be to run home to Vegas, just surround himself with the familiarity of his home city... but even that was taken from him this time.

"I still have a ton of paper work to do." He said with a shrug. "I didn't get much done today."

"Okay," Riley said softly. "How about I go home and pack and I'll meet you back here? And I'll bring you some dinner."

He couldn't get his brain to work. He wanted to protest, to tell her the others could go if they wished, but they weren't going. She was his wife and had to support him, but he couldn't begin to form an arugement. All he could say was "Okay."

With a gentle smile, she leaned down and pressed kiss on his cheek. She reached to wrap her arm around his chest, pulling him into a hug. "I'm really proud of you."

"You shouldn't be." He mumbled, but Riley didn't buy it. She squeezed him tight, breathing in the smell of roses, which was mixed with a hint of apples and ginger now. It was new, but he liked it. Riley placed another kiss on the top of his head before leaving the room.

Reid was not alone, face to face with her. She still looked like she was about to say something, looking like a fish out of water, her mouth opening and closing, over and over.

"What?" He demanded, glaring at her.

She shuddered at his yell. "Nothing," She mumbled, and with that, Alexa speedily hurried out, leaving Reid to his very disturbed thoughts.

* * *

><p>An hour passed much too soon. The others returned in time, each with a go bag packed with enough clothes for the weekend. Hopefully by Monday, they'd be home. Since this was voluntary, they knew they wouldn't get any time off for this, yet no one complained. Reid would never stop owing these people.<p>

Emily and Morgan returned together. "Sorry I ruined your weekend, guys." Reid muttered.

"It's cool, Reid," Morgan said. Perhaps it was his imagination, but Reid could hear a strain in his voice.

"I'll grab us some coffee, it might be awhile before we get to bed tonight." Emily said, setting her bag on her desk. She looked Morgan up and down, his sudden weakness not lost on her, either. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired." He assured, easing himself into a seat. "Could you just get me some water, Prentiss?"

"Sure," She said, evidently worried. There was hardly anyone left in the unit for the day, and with the lack of detection, she gently brushed his shoulder as she headed to the break room.

"You know, you really don't look so good." Reid said, lowering his voice.

"Thanks, you know, you're not exactly a J Crew model yourself." Morgan grumbled.

"I mean you look sick, do you have the flu, too?" He wondered.

To be honest, Morgan wasn't sure. What kind of flu stuck around for a month, he'd like to know. But with a brave face, he gave a shrug. "Yeah, but it'll pass. I'll be alright."

"If you don't feel well, you should stay home." Reid insisted.

"I'm fine!" Morgan pressed, "I've worked while sick before, I'll manage. And don't you say a word to Prentiss, she'll go into Overprotective Girlfriend mode. Like when I had strep in December."

Reid laughed a little, "You can pretend all you want that it was a burden, but you loved it. You love having someone take care of you when you're sick. Admit it."

The slight paleness in his face mixed with a light blush, but he hid it quickly. "If I wanted that kind of attention, I'd go home so my mom could take care of me... but Prentiss does make great chicken soup."

Reid grinned, "You love her."

"What?" Morgan groaned. "You got that from chicken soup?"

"You are in love with her." He laughed. "Have you told her?"

Morgan hesitated. No, he'd never said it, but that was because, just as when they became an official couple, he wasn't sure how she'd respond. He was too afraid of losing her. "She knows how I feel."

Perplexed, "How do you know that if you never told her?"

"It's just three little words, saying them doesn't mean anything more than the actual feelings." Morgan said with a shrug. He didn't want to discuss this right now, not when he was starting to feel horrible again.

"Saying them means everything." Reid argued. "At least that's what I think."

"Believe it or not, kid, you and I think very differently about a lot of things. Just because you're married doesn't give you the right to give me relationship advice."

"Alright, I'll back off," He said. "But let me say one more thing. If you do love her... you need to tell her. If you care about her, you should be certain she knows, even if you only say it once. Do you know how many times I've told Riley I love her?"

With a roll of his eyes. "7.6 billions times?"

"Maybe," Reid answered. "I don't know. I've said it so many times, I've lost count. _I_ lose count."

Their conversation came to an end at that moment as Emily returned with two coffees and a water. They sat and chatted pleasantly in the bull pen, waiting for the others to arrive.

It was a nice distraction for awhile, but it wasn't long before Reid's thoughts returned to his current delimma. The closer the end of the hour crept up on him the more desperate he was to run. He wasn't even listening anymore, so absentminded, he jumped when a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Hey," Riley exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

With a calming breath, Reid got to his feet. He placed a kiss on Riley's cheek, not really what to say. About anything. His stomach twisted at the sight of the two duffle bags in her hand.

Rossi and Hotch joined the group in the bull pen as they stood in wait, everyone changed into something more comfortable. It was nice to see the whole group a little more relaxed, even Riley wore her jeans and a Harvard sweatshirt. JJ and Garcia arrived in tired, but cheerful moods, JJ revealing a cute story about something Joey did that morning at breakfast.

The unit was silent except for their chatting, so the ding of the elevator alerted them of the last arrival. Alexa had returned just after the hour mark, having to go back into the city to get to her hotel and pack all her belongings. She had changed as well, looking a bit more presentable.

"I'm sorry I'm late." She informed everyone as she stepped in. "I uh... I had to call my husband and tell him what's going on. He's going to meet us at the police station tomorrow morning."

John Hillman was going to be there. Reid, who'd been clutching Riley's hand, squeezed it in a vice grip without even realizing it.

"We'll probably need to speak to your daughters in the investigation, it's important they join him." Hotch informed.

"But the police already spoke to them." Alexa said.

"They only questioned them about your son's disappearance. The questions we'll ask are different and a bit more personal, but it's necessary to create a profiler." Emily explained.

"Oh," Alexa muttered. "Well, then I'll call my sister-in-law in the morning, John told me he couldn't handle the girls so she and her husband are watching them."

Reid felt a cold shiver go down his spine. This could not be happening. "Who's your sister-in-law?" He asked through gritted teeth, praying there was another Hillman sister he didn't know about.

With trepidation, Alexa met his gaze and answered swiftly. "Harper Hillman... she's Harper Bundle now."

That was it. Reid quickly dropped his wife's hand and backed away from the team. He needed distance right. "I..." was all he managed to get out. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration before taking off. He wanted to leave the unit, but he'd have to cross through the bull pen to do it. Instead, he headed up the steps behind him to catwalk, hurrying to seek solace in the only room he could escape in. The conference room.

* * *

><p>He sat in the darkness, not bothering to draw the blinds. Maybe they couldn't do this without him, but either way he wasn't going now. Reid had more self respect than to put himself through this. He couldn't face them, not all of them together, after everything they'd put him through.<p>

A light slowly began to spill in the room as the door was gently opened. "Hey," a gentle voice said behind him. Not even her presence could comfort him right now, though he'd take her over the rest of them.

Riley closed the door, flipping on the light to give their eyes a rest. She went over to take the seat beside him at the table, swiveling a bit so as to face him.

"What's going on?" She asked, reaching for his hand.

He didn't pull away, thankfully. He gave her a light squeeze in return, his attention still focused on the table. "I can't do this."

"Harper Hillman..." She repeated. "She sounds familiar."

"She was Alexa's best friend in high school." Reid explained. "Now her sister-in-law... she tortured me almost as much as her brother... she was the one who met me in the library the day I..." He shook his head, let out a deep breath. She could hear the tears in his throat. "I still can't believe I was that stupid, I never should have listened to her."

"I know, Baby," Riley soothed, her other hand stroking his arm. "Believe me, I don't want you to go through this... but Alexa is just trying to find her son. She's not interested in making your life miserable again, in fact she came here to eat crow and ask for your help. Don't you think the others will be the same way."

"No," Reid snapped, looking away. "I don't want to do this, I can't put myself through this again, even if it's just for a few days. What they did to me... I never got over that, and you want me to go through it again?"

He was being difficult; stubborn as usual. But, one reason why they were so perfect for each other, Riley was just as stubborn. "It's been twenty years, Spencer. Don't you think maybe they've changed. It seems to me Alexa isn't concerned with insulting you or hurting you... the others will probably be the same way."

"Well, we are not going to find out." Reid said, getting to his feet. He was agitated and needed to pace. "The others can go if they want, but we are staying here."

Riley swivled to the other side to see him. "Spencer, I'm going."

Her statement was plain and serious, not in the least way asking for permission. Reid turned to stare at her intently. "No you're not."

"And why is that?" She asked. She, too, got to her feet, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Because I said so." He ordered.

"Oh, you better come up with a better reason than that." Riley chuckled, slightly annoyed.

"I'm not going, that should be a good enough reason." Reid said, as if it were obvious. He was also fully aware his team was watching them down below, no doubt able to tell they were fighting. "That's the whole point of a marriage, Riley, you're supposed to support me no matter what."

"I do support you." Riley corrected. "I know this is hard for you, but this isn't about you and the people who bullied you, this is about a little boy who was taken from his family, who was robbed of an entire life and a bunch of other boys who will suffer the same fate if this unsub isn't caught. You're one of the best investigators in the country, how can your personal problems outweigh a child's life?"

"The team is fully capable of doing this without us." He said, his tone getting deadly and calm. "We don't need to go. You are not going."

"I am going," She corrected. "And so are you."

"Riley-"

"Look!" Riley screamed, she'd had enough of this. Yelling was making her lightheaded and she knew the coming change in altitude was not going to help. "We both know you're going to do it, because you're not a jerk! So you have two options, Spencer, you can either sulk here for half a day and then join us in Vegas, or you can save us all time and sulk on the plane!"

And with that, Riley whipped around and hurried out of the room. Reid was left to his thoughts. He hated everything about this situation. And the fact that he knew she was absolutely right, he hated most of all.


	7. Everything's Fine

"Wow," Alexa exhaled as she stepped onto the plane. "So this is where all my tax dollars are going."

"Don't think we don't appreciate it." JJ muttered, claiming a seat on the couch beside Rossi.

Riley stepped on board, followed by Morgan. She'd been sure Spencer would have caught up to them before they left the unit, but he remained in the conference room. He was pacing, which meant he was frustrated and contemplating his dilemma. He would meet them, though. She was sure of it. So sure, she brought his go bag along with hers, and in anticipation, left the seat beside her opened. He would be here any minute.

"So, how long will it take us to get home?" Alexa wondered. She quickly took the seat beside Hotch, seeing as how he was the only person of the group who showed her any kind of compassion.

"The weather's clear, so I'd say about an hour and a half." Hotch revealed, reading over Peter's file once again. He looked to Riley, across the aisle from him. "We really should get there as soon as possible so we can get some rest. Are you sure Reid's coming?"

"He'll be here." Riley nodded with the utmost confidence.

"It says the police interrogated your husband after your son's kidnapping." Rossi said, who was flipping through the pages of the case another time as well. "Was he considered a suspect?"

"Briefly." Alexa answered. "He had an alibi."

"Alibis can have holes in them." Morgan pointed out. "How reliable is the source?"

"The police insist Peter was taken between midnight and 4 AM, before sunrise. My husband had, what did they call it… a paper trail."

"Was he working?" Emily asked as she sat down with a cup of coffee. She set a second one before Morgan, a friendly gesture which arose no suspicion.

She was going to have to say it. Lying would make her seem guilty. "No… he was at a strip club with his brother-in-law, Jeremy. The police saw he took three withdrawals of cash out of an ATM, and two were after midnight. He's innocent."

"I see," Emily muttered, trying her best not to appear judgmental.

"It doesn't matter, John would never do anything to hurt his little boy." Alexa cried. "There's nothing more important to him than his son."

"Mrs. Hillman, we're not asking these questions to upset you." Hotch assured. "We just need to get the whole story."

"You'd be amazed how one little detail can change an entire man's reputation." Rossi said. "Even if it's just to one person."

"Yeah, like Reid's dad." Morgan muttered in passing.

William Reid's past was common knowledge among the members of the team, but Alexa was suddenly intrigued. "Spencer's father… we didn't know he had a father. I mean… obviously he had one, but… no one knew what happened to him."

What with her growing nausea and fatigue, not to mention the worry for her husband, Riley's temper was getting the best of her. "Seems to me, you didn't know much about him."

"No," She admitted shamefully. "We didn't… we would see his mother every now and then… she'd show up at the school in her bathrobe and hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks. She said she was there to pick him up from school. Even then, I had to admit, Spencer was pretty brave. He'd walk right up to her and kiss her cheek and… let her lead him home."

"More than likely, he was leading her." Morgan said coldly. "Did you know his mother is a paranoid schizophrenic? His father skipped out when he was ten and he took up the job of caring for her until he was eighteen."

They were right, she knew very little about Spencer Reid. Alexa was stunned by that, but in a way grateful she hadn't known until now. No doubt, they would have found a way to torture him even further. "I had no idea… it does explain a lot though. We'd see him doing grocery shopping or… bringing canvas bags to the laundry mat… we'd always tease him about those things… we'd teased him about everything." Her tone was hollow and sad, wishing so badly she could take those things back.

"We can't wait forever." Rossi said quickly, more to change the subject. "Maybe we should take off and tell him to meet us if he wants to come."

"No!" Riley exclaimed. "He's coming, Dave. I know my husband. He'll be here."

"Parker, I know you have the utmost faith in the kid, but he might not budge on this one." Morgan insisted, trying to get her to see reason.

"He just needs a little more time." She growled. "He'll come to his senses."

"This isn't really that new." JJ said, leaning back in her seat, observing the group. "Reid gets upset about things, he holds grudges, but when push comes to shove, he always does what's right."

"Yeah, but everyone has a breaking point." Emily argued. "This could be the last straw for Reid."

"She has a point." Morgan agreed. "Reid is not a doormat, and when he gets angry, it controls him. I mean, we all remember when he met Riley."

"You would bring that up!" Riley snarled, her temper getting the better of her now. She leaned on the head rest, trying to breathe slowly. "No surprise you agree with her!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Garcia asked, sensing something in her tone.

Emily and Morgan sat frozen, trying to keep their faces impassive. They unsure how to answer that. Riley let them sweat a moment before she uttered. "They're partners, they're always siding with each other."

"Yeah," JJ muttered, absentminded. "They do tend to stick together a lot."

They both let out a stagnant breath. Emily gave a slight glare to Riley, who didn't even care, her symptoms coming back at full force. At this point, she knew they were only going to get worse and being locked in a pressurized cabin for about two hours did not sound appealing.

A few more minutes of awkward silence and finally there was a slow clamor up the steps. Everyone sat in expectation as, at long last, the last of their team arrived, looking very solemn indeed.

"Reid," Hotch said. "We're glad you came."

All he could manage was a subtle nod, his disgust for this evident. His eyes lingered on the floor, wanting to be as far from all these people as possible. He felt like each and every one of them had betrayed him.

Alexa at last stood, taking a chance to express how she felt. "Spencer… I can't tell you how much this means to me. If there's anything I can do-"

"Do not thank me." He interrupted, his eyes were filled with so much hatred, they burned as they met hers. "I am not here for you. I am here so I can find the man who killed your son, and possibly save the lives of a dozen other boys in the process. Don't think for one minute I would do anything to help you. We are not friends, we are not acquaintances. We are strangers, and as soon as this case is over, I never want to hear from you or your family ever again."

She felt physically beaten by his confession. Hanging her head, Alexa nodded. "I understand." She whispered.

"And you!" He growled, turning to meet Riley's eyes. "How could you? You guilted me into coming here."

Riley was not intimidated by him. She looked to him intently. "I did not such thing. I only pointed out the inevitable. Either way, you were going to end up here."

"I can make my own decisions!" He yelled. "If I didn't want to go, that should by my decision. I don't appreciate my wife making it for me like I'm a child!"

"And right now, this isn't childish?" Riley asked, her temper rising to meet his. "Throwing a tantrum over not getting your way?"

She was right again and it made his blood boil. "I'm done! I'm here for one reason and one reason only, and that's the case. I want to solve it as quickly as possible and get on with the rest of my life."

"Okay, Reid," JJ assured, wanting him to calm down. She stood up. "I'll tell the pilot we're ready to leave."

She carefully brushed past Reid as she headed to the cockpit. Immediately, Reid noticed the opened seat next to his wife, but she was the second to last person on this plane he wanted to be close to right now. Instead, he moved to the empty end of the plane, taking a seat near the window.

"Why are you sitting over there?" Riley asked.

His eyes were cold as they met her gaze. "I think it would be better if we don't talk for awhile, don't you?" He grumbled, turning to stare out the window.

Riley didn't answer, her eyes falling on the table before her. Emily gave a glance to Morgan before standing and going to the other side, taking the empty seat beside her. Riley looked up, giving a small, grateful smile before looking away.

"It was the right thing to do." Emily whispered, patting her shoulder.

"I know," Riley mumbled. "And he knows… he's just taking it out on me because I'm the best target."

"Why would you say that?" Emily asked.

"Because he knows I'll always love him no matter what." She replied, with a soft smile. It faded again as she looked away. Resting her head on her chair, she closed her eyes and tried to think of anything but the queasiness about her.

* * *

><p>The plane was quiet. They'd only been in the air for about a half hour, but it felt like five. Reid wouldn't interact with the others, his icy demeanor keeping them at bay, though it didn't stop Riley from glancing at him every few minutes.<p>

Alexa was staring out the window as well. She often took to sitting at a window at this time of night, staring off into the dark Heavens, her mind a labyrinth of horrifying thoughts. Thoughts of where her little boy could be, if maybe there was a chance he was still out there… and if he wasn't, was his soul at peace now.

Hotch approached her with a steaming cup of herbal tea in hand. He reclaimed his seat beside her. "Here," He said, offering it to her. "This plane can get kind of cold."

"Thank you," She said, her voice distant.

"You're thinking about Peter." It wasn't a question. A parent could always sense the tell tale sings.

"Since the second he went missing… I haven't stopped thinking about Peter." She clarified. "I feel horrible that I've lost faith."

"You shouldn't," Hotch assured. In his hand, he held a cup of coffee, not expecting to get much sleep tonight. "If my son were missing this long… well, I unfortunately know a lot more about this than you do, and I'd want to think if he were missing, he was in a better place now."

"I don't want to think like that." She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "The first few weeks, I just couldn't bring myself to think like this. To admit my baby was never going to come home. Now… it's almost I want to find his body just so this will all be over." She looked to Hotch with frightened eyes. "Does this make me a bad mother?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. You're living in pain, it's only natural to want to bring it to an end, and sometimes it becomes by any means necessary."

Alexa wiped her eyes with her free hand, letting out a sigh. "It sounds like you deal with a lot of grieving mothers, Agent Hotchner."

"Unfortunately, yes." He replied. "There are always people suffering… but what people don't realize is these people have families… they have mothers who want their babies back, and it doesn't matter who the baby is, whether he's four-years-old or forty, victim or killer… the pain is always the same."

He had a point. Alexa took a slow sip of her tea. The warmth began to flow through her, easing the chill of her body a bit. The chill she'd had since Peter disappeared. "So how old is your son, Agent Hotchner?"

"9," Hotch answered. "He lives with his mother and… stepfather, I guess is the term now."

"I sense a bit of jealousy there." Alexa mentioned, interested.

"Well, he's been his stepfather for all of six days, I'm not sure the man is worthy of a title." Hotch explained. Why he was unloading all of this to a complete stranger was a mystery. But then again, maybe it wasn't so mysterious. Sometimes it was easier to tell these things to a person you hardly knew, who didn't know you too well and therefore was less likely to judge you.

But it was more than that. It was easy for him to open up to Alexa… like he was the person she'd known twenty years ago. Two old friends reunited… but, of course, that wasn't true. "His mother was my high school sweetheart." He admitted without hesitation. "We divorced when he was two because my job put too much stress on our family."

"That must have been hard." Alexa said. "John was my high school sweetheart as well."

"So you understand, when you're with a person that long... you not sure really how to live without them." He said.

"Did you ever think about divorce before then?" Alexa wondered, who secretly had that very thought looming in her mind for much longer than she cared to admit.

"I never thought of it as a real option until she moved out." He admitted. "We had a lot of problems. And I think, if Jack hadn't come along, it would have ended a lot sooner. But she got pregnant and our problems disappeared for awhile… in fact, I thought they were gone. Even when she served me the papers, I still wanted to try and work on it... I couldn't imagine a life without her."

He glanced at Alexa and, to his surprise, let out a chuckle. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm unloading this to you."

"I'm a woman who's life is in shambles." Alexa said, almost lightheartedly. "My husband is an alcoholic dead beat, my teenager daughter hates me, my younger daughter is suddenly terrified of the world and my little boy is missing… probably dead. I make everyone's life look better."

Hotch suddenly found prospective, and once again reached over to take Alexa's hand. "I promise you, we are going to find what happened to Peter. I know it won't mean much, but at least you'll know. And you can lay him to rest and move on."

"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to move on." She said, her voice getting softer with every word. Tears were forming again and she had to fight to keep from breaking down.

Meanwhile, the rest of plane was occupying their time. They discussed the case for awhile and had now turned to some poker, using pretzels and butterscotch candies as their chips.

"I fold," JJ said, setting her cards on the table. She got to her feet, stretching a moment. "I could use some coffee, anyone else?"

"I'll take a refill," Emily said, offering her cup.

JJ took the mug, turning to the front of the plane where the last member sat in among the shadows. "Reid? Can I get you anything?"

He didn't answer. Not even the shake of his head. Morgan rolled his eyes. "Alright kid, enough pouting. Come play poker with us."

"Leave me alone." He muttered.

"Spencer, please," Riley begged. "We hate seeing you like this." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"You're not sorry!" He yelled, climbing out of his chair. The low light of the plane finally lit up his face, which looked so worn and bothered. "You didn't even think about me or how I would felt about this, you don't even care."

"Right," Riley answered. The effort of talking so loudly and intently was wearing thin on what was left of her energy. "I forced you into this because I wanted you to feel pain. Because you've never done anything like this to me. I seem to remember a certain murder on our honeymoon that you couldn't leave alone and it almost cost us our lives."

"That was completely different!" He exclaimed. "I don't pretend to be a perfect husband, but I have always been there for you when you needed me. And the one time I need you to support me, you can't take my side! You couldn't even pretend!"

Riley opened her mouth to respond, that she always took his side and supported him, that she supported him now and convincing him to come to Vegas didn't change that. But she couldn't, because talking right now was a horrible idea. Riley's mouth snapped shut, looking away. She forced herself to breath slowly, trying to fight the urge off.

"Oh, my goodness," He said in mock amazement. "You mean for once you don't have a response? You're not going to open your mouth and make me feel like the worst person in the world? I'm shocked!"

The breathing wasn't working. She barely heard Reid at that moment, or had any awareness of her surroundings. All she had was the incredible sensation about to take over her. Her internal battle was over and it seemed the nausea was winning. Quickly pushing past Emily, Riley clamored into the aisle and hurried to the back of the plane.

She barely made it to the toilet before she couldn't hold it anymore. The putrid sounds of retching and gagging filled the cabin as Riley vomited violently, spewing the contents of what was left of the apples she ate for dinner and that second cup of ginger tea, which apparently didn't work.

JJ already in the galley, hurried over. She grabbed the door of the restroom to close it; an attempt to give the poor girl some privacy.

All of Reid's anger faded away as he listened to his wife get sick. She didn't need to be screamed at and made to feel terrible when she hadn't really done anything wrong. He was angry, not at her, but at what was coming, at what he was being forced to face. She did nothing wrong… she was just trying to help him do the right thing. He shouldn't be using her to make himself feel better.

"You really feel like dirt now, don't you?" Morgan asked.

"Pretty much," Reid nodded, and headed to the back of the galley.

"Is she alright?" Alexa asked, looking at everyone.

"Yeah, she's just got the flu." Garcia explained. She, like the others, knew they should mind their own business, but it was hard to ignore the noise from the bathroom, even with the door shut.

Over the next fifteen minutes, Riley remained in the restroom. JJ and Reid kept guard by the door, waiting for her to come out. At last, the sound of the toilet flushed, followed by running water in the sink, no doubt to rinse her mouth. A moment later, she pulled the door open and the tired, pale, face of the woman stood in the door way. She immediately spotted Reid.

They didn't need to say a word to know this fight was over. Riley practically fell into his arms, resting her tired head on his shoulder, her body shaking from the effort of vomiting for so long.

He wrapped her in his embrace, making her feel so secure. "I'm sorry," He mumbled into the curls on top of his hair.

"Me, too." She whispered, and he felt tears on his shoulder. She clung to him, her whole form weakened. She needed rest.

Without a word, Reid effortlessly scooped her tired body into his arms, as he had down many times before. "Garcia," He said softly, "Would you mind getting a pillow and blanket for her?"

"Not at all," She answered, quickly getting off the other couch. She fetched the items from the storage under the seats as Emily came over to assist. The two quickly made up a makeshift bed. Easily, he brought the damsel over, laying her down gently. Her head rested back on the pillow and she let out a sigh.

He pulled the blanket over her, helping her get comfortable. Alexa watched in fascination as he knealt down, sitting beside her. "Wow," she whispered to Hotch. "He really loves her, doesn't he?"

"You have no idea." Hotch replied. He, too, watched with interest. Though, the couple didn't seem to notice.

Riley let out a sigh as at last, she opened her eyes, meeting his. The usual love and warmth had returned to them. "Thank you," She whispered.

Reid's long fingers stroked through her curls. "You should have stayed in Quantico."

"How else was I supposed to get you here?" She said with a slight smirk.

"I'm sorry, I've been a jerk tonight." He whispered. "I've been acting like this is all about me, I'm supposed to be objective."

"I understand how upset you are," Riley said, "believe me, I know how this is affecting you. But I've never seen you run from your fear before. You really want to give these people the satisfaction by doing it now? When you're so successful and revered? You've sat face to face with some of the worst killers of the modern age, you've had conversations with them. And you're going to let some high school kids 20 years past their prime get the best of you?"

He nodded. "You're right… I'm not a child, I can face these people." He thought for a moment. "But, if it's at all possible, could you maybe throw up on John Hillman tomorrow?"

Her eyes had a significant sparkle and she gave a nod. "I'll try, Baby."

Reid couldn't help but laugh a bit. She always made him feel better. "I love you… I hope you feel better soon."

"I love you, too." She uttered, clasping his hand. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course, I will," He smiled, adjusting his skinny legs into a more comfortable position. He reached up to press a kiss on her clammy forehead. As he pulled away, he nodded. "I think you're a little warm, but it's not too bad. You shouldn't need any medicine yet."

She let out a sigh, grateful. As a doctor, she didn't like to take medicine, knowing how any form of pills could do more harm than good. She closed her eyes, refusing to release Reid's hand. The other one was still stroking through her hair, watching her lovingly.

He was distracted, however, as he looked over. JJ was still standing at the galley, watching them with great interest.

"Something wrong?" He asked, concerned.

She hadn't realized she was staring. JJ came back to reality, shaking her head. "No… everything's fine."

Turning around, JJ went to get her coffee, glancing back at the married couple. She wouldn't bring anything up until tomorrow morning, and then she would wait until Riley was alone. That was the best way to discuss this, no point in getting anyone else involved until it was certain. Because there had been a time not long ago when JJ was a single woman, and began to suffer through nausea and lethargy and strange cravings… and at first she, too, believed it was just the flu.


	8. The Start of the Case

It was around eight by the time they landed. The team decided to check into the hotel and start fresh in the morning. Hotch had a police escort take Alexa home and Reid had to admit, he was glad to be free of her, even if it was just for a few hours. Reid promptly took Riley to their room, putting her to bed immediately.

The others went for a late supper and then retired to their beds, agreeing to meet in the lobby by first light. A half hour after the halls were quiet, Emily snuck out of her room and headed down the corridor to Morgan, who was waiting up for her. Oddly, the two had inadvertently gotten to a point where they couldn't even sleep unless they were together. A few weeks ago, when he, Rossi and Reid went to Portland, Maine and the rest worked on a local case in Baltimore, the nights had been almost unbearable for both of them.

It was very late, well after midnight. She was tired, but Emily hadn't fallen asleep yet. Morgan had long since drifted off, his breathing steady and heavy. Judging by it, he was dreaming peacefully. Emily rested against his bare chest, listening to his strong heart. Each beat echoed in her ear, soothing her like the waves of the ocean.

This was her favorite place in the world, held protectively in his embrace against his warm body, nothing surrounding them but the night. Her hand caressed his warm skin, feeling so secure. Something she never believed she could have before Morgan. It was incredible. She'd seen these muscles knock down doors and restrain dangerous killers. These arms could easily throttle a man, yet held Emily like she were a precious dove. He would never hurt her. Not that Emily had ever let a man become violent with her. She could hold her own. But Morgan was a lot stronger and more powerful; he could easily harm her. The fact was no matter how angry he was, no matter what happened, he wouldn't lay a hand on her out of anything except love. That was a freeing feeling, to know she was safe. She trusted him like she'd never been able to trust another person. Morgan had a hold on her and she prayed he'd never let her go.

Morgan's heart beat sped up a bit as he let out a deep sigh, a contented smile spreading across his face.

He was dreaming, maybe even about her. She couldn't help but smile. Sleep was starting to get to her. It was ineffable just how different life was with him. Before Morgan, Emily was a big believer in space. She liked her home, her life, she didn't like other people invading it for long. But Emily wanted to be around Morgan as much as possible.

Emily placed a kiss on his arm, nestling against his chest as she closed her eyes. "I love you," she whispered. She listened to each thump of his heart. Maybe she couldn't say it to his face, but this was good enough. At least this way she could say it without the fear of losing him.

* * *

><p>Reid was dragging his feet the next morning. He woke up the next morning, once again, to hear Riley vomiting in the bathroom. Once she was through, he quickly threw on some clothes and ran out to get them some breakfast, which she surprisingly scarfed down rather quickly. It wouldn't be long before they had to meet the others, but Reid couldn't seem to move much faster than a snail.<p>

He sat on the edge of the bed, a sneaker in hand, his eyes lingering on his mismatched socks. Riley was pulling a royal blue sweater on as she spotted him, motionless.

"You almost ready?" She asked gently.

"No," He mumbled. "I don't feel good, I think I got your flu." He feigned a cough, looking up to her with a pair of big, puppy dog eyes. "Let's stay in bed and drink lots of fluids."

Riley tilted her head in sympathy, going to sit beside him. She put her arm around him, leaning up to press a kiss on his cheek.

"You know this is going to be okay." She assured, leaning against his temple. "It has been twenty years, maybe they've changed."

"Yeah," Reid grumbled. "Maybe we'll connect and become life long friends."

"Okay, you don't have to be snarky." Riley said, leaning back. "I'm just saying it might not turn out as bad as you think… and anyway, they are missing a member of their family. They're probably more focused on that to be concerned about you. They might even be grateful you're helping them."

Reid gave an unsure twitch of a smile, taking her hand. "I really hope you're right… and as much as I want you to stay in bed and get better, I'm really glad you're going to be with me."

She smiled, brushing back some of his hair. "I'm starting to feel better, anyway." She lied. If she kept thinking that, her mind might convince her body it was true.

"I guess we'd better get going soon," He groaned, at last pulling on his shoe. Riley stood up, going to grab her bag.

Reid had his other sneaker on and was throwing his shoulder bag on when he got a full view of her wife in her outfit. The tight jeans going well with the snug form of her low neckline sweater, her curly hair swept back with a barrette, just as he liked it. She looked absolutely gorgeous and if he wasn't concerned for her health, he might be intrigued to be late this morning.

"What?" Riley asked as she turned, suspicious as to why he kept staring at her.

"Even if they haven't changed," He said, "I don't think they're going to make fun of me for being married to you."

Beaming brightly, Riley came forward and took his hand. "Let's go," She said, giving him a confident squeeze.

* * *

><p>The team arrived at the precinct just before nine. It was the same place where Reid had investigated the murder of Riley Jenkins, where he had learned the truth at what tore his family apart. Amazing how so many things connected to a person's life, showing up when one least suspected it.<p>

Alexa was waiting for them when the team arrived. She was alone, dressed in jeans and simple short sleeved blouse, her hair pulled out of her face in a ponytail. Her face was saddened and tired, an obvious person in mourning. Reid knew it didn't matter whether they found her son's killer or not; her life was never going to be the same. For a moment, he felt true pity for her.

It disappeared, however, as they approached her. "Agents," She said as she got to her feet. "I want to thank you all again for doing this." Her eyes landed on Reid for a moment, but quickly looked away. "It means everything to me that I find what happened to my son, I appreciate your help."

"We're going to set up the evidence in the conference room, first." Hotch informed, getting right to work. "Our technical analyst is here, she's going to start doing searches on missing boys in Nevada, searching for kidnappings that match your son's disappearance. Agent Jareau will help her with that, they might want you're assistance after we're done questioning you."

"Questioning me?" She asked, confused. "But I've told you everything."

"With all do respect, ma'am, you've told us about Peter and his case." Rossi explained. "We need to be thorough in this investigation, we need to know every detail about him and his home life, once we speak to you and the members of your family, we'll have a full story."

"Prentiss and Morgan will handle the husband and the brother-in-law." Hotch ordered. Morgan agreed, not even acknowledging Alexa's presence. "Rossi and I will question Mrs. Hillman, Reid, you're the best with kids, why don't you talk to the daughters individually."

"What do you want me to do?" Riley wondered.

"We're going to put the girls in an interrogation room while they're interviewed, I'd like you to observe." Hotch requested.

"Interview? What can you possibly learn from my daughters?" Alexa wondered. "They didn't have anything to do with this."

"But Peter was their brother." Hotch explained. "Your eldest is in her teens, correct? You probably had her baby sit the twins."

"I did," Alexa replied, suspicious.

"And Penny is Peter's twin. Even at her young age, she knows more about your son than you do."

"Twins often have a strong psychological bond, sensing more about one another's life and emotions than even the biological mother." Reid explained out of habit. "Some believe it's more of a psychic connection, but scientists suspect it's a trait developed in utero."

The others weren't surprised by this, having heard Reid's express of intelligence at least twenty times a day. Alexa, however, was very taken aback by this, as strangers always were when the FBI's resident genius took the spotlight.

"I see," she finally answered. "So you think my daughters know more about my son's disappearance than they're letting on?"

"We think they know more about Peter than they're letting on." Hotch corrected. "Learning about Peter's behavior is essential in developing a profile, which in turn is needed to catch our killer."

This investigation was becoming much more complicated than Alexa suspected, but they all seemed to know what they were doing. "Very well, I hope they can help you… my oldest is not the easiest person to talk to."

Reid had a sudden image of the offspring of his two hated enemies. A young girl, the spitting image of Alexa, in that same cheerleader uniform and smug look upon her face... the same one her father always had. Maybe she wasn't pleasant, but hopefully she would cooperate enough to get a little information out of her.

"My husband and his family should be here soon, they're bringing my daughters." She explained.

"In that case, we'll start setting up." Emily said, claiming one of the case boxes the police had already brought out for them. Morgan grabbed the other one and the two started heading for the conference room. Hotch stepped off with Rossi, no doubt discussing their tactic at how to interrogate the men. According to what they had learned, this wasn't going to be some simple questioning.

"Shall we?" Reid asked, clutching Riley's hand again.

"I just need to stop in the restroom, I'll just be a minute." Riley explained.

He let out a chuckle with a shake of his head. "Between your bladder and your stomach, you may just want to make a permanent residence there until this flu gets through you." Reid teased, slipping a kiss on her cheek. "Don't be too long."

"I won't," She assured. "And I'll bring you some coffee."

He clutched her hand for a moment, so relieved to have his wife with him on a case. He had missed working with her, ever since two years ago when she filled in for JJ. Reid followed Morgan and Emily's path, leaving the girls alone.

JJ, who had been watching casually, figured there wouldn't be a better time. Setting the file down, she hurried to catch up to the young woman.

"Hey," she said with a smile. "Going to the Ladies' Room?"

"Yeah," Riley answered, unsuspectingly.

"I'll go with you." She pleasantly said. Too pleasant. Riley was instantly suspicious, but she didn't deny the company. The two girls made their way to the restroom down another corridor.

* * *

><p><em>Spencer was late this morning. He'd overslept, having been kept up half the night by one of his mother's episodes. Homeroom was in three minutes, he had to hurry if he was going to get there in time.<em>

_The halls were quiet, the warning bell having already rung. Most kids were gathered in their homerooms, with teachers taking attendance. Light chattering echoed in the void hallways, like the whispering of a ghost. It was almost chilling._

_He liked the corridors silent, however. Spencer could walk down the hallways without fear. Making it to the stairwell, he struggled to get his short legs upward as fast as possible. The extra weight of his backpack weighing him down. There was only two minutes left; he had to go faster._

_As he finally made it to the top, however, Spencer stopped in his tracks. The sound of stifled laughter met his ears. Perhaps there were some other tardy students, goofing off in the halls. Spencer tried to ignore it as he made it to the landing, running to get to the hall._

_He stopped in his tracks, however, when his path was blocked. A behemoth of a man stood before him, glaring down at him like a lion about to devour the weakest member of the herd._

"_Where you going, numb nuts?" John Hillman asked with a sickly sneer._

_His heartbeat was quickening in his chest, but Spencer stood his ground. "Excuse me," He said sternly, trying to sound brave._

"_No excuse for you, pee wee." He answered. "You know it's almost homeroom… if you're not in your seat, you'll get put on the tardy list. Little miss perfect has never been late in his life."_

"_I'm not going to be late." He informed, trying to side step the jock. "And at least I'm not some ignoramus microphallus who needs to bully people in order to feel better about himself."_

_John couldn't make sense of the insult, just as Spencer had intended, but it didn't matter. He knew it was something rude. And he knew just how to deal with that. "Get over here, you little creep."_

_Spencer cried out as John grabbed his arm. At his scream, someone came around the corner. At first, the young genius felt relief, only to scream again as Jeremy Bundle appeared. "Grab his bag!" John ordered, twisting his arm behind his back, so hard Spencer was sure it was about to break. _

_With Glee, Jeremy ripped Spencer's bag off his shoulders, zipping it open. He dumped the contents down the steps, papers and books and pencils littering the stairwell. He tossed the empty bag down with it. Spencer watched in panic as all his homework and reading fell to oblivion._

_Jeremy grabbed one arm while John hung onto the other, dragging him down the hall. Spencer struggled and wriggled to get free, but they were much too strong, dragging him down to the Men's Room._

"_Let me go!" Spencer screamed over and over, desperate for a teacher or something to hear and come to his rescue. But they didn't. They never did, no one ever did. Always turning a blind eye when things like this happened._

_Spencer smacked his head off the door of the end stall as the boys dragged him in. John flipped him upside down easily. Spencer fought with every ounce of strength, but he couldn't break free, his head dunked into the water as Jeremy flushed._

_Every time he resurfaced, Spencer gulped to replenish his air, sucking it in like an infant taking his first breath. After five dunks, his entire upper half was soaked and he was dizzy from lack of oxygen. The boys had had enough, dropping him to the floor as the bell rang._

_Spencer cried out as his shoulder slammed into the ground. He remained motionless as the boys, laughing hysterically, hurried out of the restroom, rushing to homeroom. No doubt, they'd be able to explain their lateness. And the teacher wouldn't question it in the least. Spencer didn't care about being tardy right now. He was tired and dizzy and wet and sore, all he could do was rest his head and close his eyes._

_He came back to reality as the bell rang again. Everyone hurried off to first period. Spencer speedily pulled himself off the floor, remembering all his schoolwork was decorated in the stairwell. He sloshed out into the hall, trying to push through the throngs of people to get there._

_No one seemed to care there were papers and books everywhere, walking up and down the steps like as if they couldn't see. Spencer quickly tried to gather his things, begging people to stop walking on his books and papers. At least the toilet water hid the tears running down his face._

_A trickle of blood dripped from the cut on his forehead, splattering on the cover of his Principal's of Democracy paper, due today. He'd never be able to explain that to Mr. Heidelberg, but right now it didn't matter. The bell rang again at last. Class was in session. The dirty and ripped remains of his papers and books sat around him. Spencer, so emotionally exhausted, sat on the bottom step of the middle landing, burying his face in his knees for a moment, he let his tears soak into his second hand khaki pants, his bloody paper clutched in his trembling hand._

"Reid?" Morgan called, trying to get his attention. "You okay?"

The conference room could hardly be considered a room. There were no doors, just long pillars around the area to give it a bit of privacy. He could see and hear just about everything going on in the precinct. His eyes were focused across the room, his face suddenly turning ashen.

"Reid?" Emily pressed now, stepping forward. "Yoohoo, Spencer."

Still, he didn't hear their cries. For across the room, Alexa had been greeted by five people. Two of them were young girls. A teenager and a little child. The child was ecstatic to see her mother while the teen, dressed completely in black, gave her a very stiff hug. Just from looking at them, he knew there were Alexa's daughters. Like her son, they were the spitting image of their mother.

The adults, however, made his heart stop. He recognized them immediately. They greeted Alexa in turn, though he couldn't hear what any of them were saying. Jeremy and Harper stood together, trying to stay out of the way. They seemed a bit annoyed at having to come here. John, however, was talking intently to his wife, blatantly furious at why she lied to him and went to the FBI. Alexa was cowering before him… as she used to do when he screamed at her in the halls of their school, simply because he did not get his way.

"Reid!" Emily cried again. "Are you alright?"

At last, he came back to the present. Reid turned to his friends, who watched him with caution and trepidation.

"Yeah…" He mumbled with a nod, trying to ignore what was happening, pushing away the feeling of dread in his stomach. He started pulling the evidence from the boxes, arranging it on the bulletin board. Behind his back, Morgan and Emily shared a worried glance, anxious for their friend. As hard as this was going to be on him, they could at least be certain that this time they were here. He wouldn't have to go through this alone.


	9. Twenty Years

They were coming this way. Reid turned to face the bulletin board, pretending all this information which he had already memorized was much too important to turn away from.

Morgan moved closer to him, lowering his voice to a calming tone. "It's going to be okay, Reid. We're right here."

He shouldn't be this nervous. He was a grown up, they couldn't do the things they used to do to him, he shouldn't be so afraid of what they'd think or what they'd say. If he didn't let them make him feel inferior, they would have no effect on him.

Alexa was walking towards the door, her husband and in-laws in pursuit. She stood before entering, turning to the three.

"Before we go in there," She said. "You have to make a promise that you will act civil with each and every one of these people."

"Like we're going to piss off people with guns, Lexi." Harper said with a roll of her eyes.

"So all three of you swear that no matter who you meet in there, you will treat each person with the respect he or she deserves?" Alexa pressed.

"Yes!" Jeremy grumbled. "Now can we go in there so we can get on with the rest of our lives?"

After a pause, Alexa gathered her composure. "Thank you, Jeremy, for understanding how important it is to me to find my son." She muttered bitterly.

"Shut up and let's go." John ordered. "I'm tried of dealing with this; let's just get it over with."

With no way to argue, Alexa took a deep breath. "Just remember what I said."

At least she was trying to stick up for him, Reid thought. It was very considerate on her part. But Reid quickly pushed the nicety from his mind. She was just like the rest of them. Cold and cruel, picking on the weakest of the crowd just to make herself feel superior.

He remained facing the board as they stepped into the room. "These are three members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit." Alexa explained. "They've agreed to investigate the case."

"Behavioral Analysis Unit." Harper repeated slowly. "Where have I heard that before?"

Before anyone could remember or realize, Morgan stepped forward. "I'm SSA Derek Morgan," He said frigidly, flashing his badge to the group. A perfect excuse so as not to shake any of their hands. "This is SSA Emily Prentiss."

"Emily Prentiss," John said in a playful tone, offering his hand to her. "Well… if I had known the female agents were this beautiful, I would have reconsidered my career."

Emily was not amused, even less so than his wife, who watched the seen a few feet away. Emily neither accepted his hand nor responded to the comment. Instead, she folded her arms. "Agent Morgan and I will be interviewing you, Mr. Hillman, and your brother-in-law, Mr. Bundle, in just a few minutes."

"Why do we need to be interviewed?" Jeremy asked, confused. "We didn't do anything with the kid."

That very statement told the two profilers a great deal already. This interview was not going to be very pleasant. Morgan turned to Alexa, suddenly feeling a bit of sympathy for her. "I understand Agent Rossi already took your daughters to the interrogation rooms?"

"Yes," Alexa nodded. "Is there any way I can be with them?"

Her body language was telling them a lot. They way she distanced herself from her family, avoided looking at them as much as possible. There was a large wedge between her and these people… it could definitely be a clue that lead to Peter's disappearance.

"It's best they do this alone, Mrs. Hillman." Morgan explained. "Children are often more likely to open up when parental figures aren't around."

"I'll go see what's keeping Riley, that way she and Reid can get started." Emily said, pushing past the group rather forcefully. Glancing back, she noticed the hunched form of her dear friend before the cork board. He was as quiet as a mouse, wanting to be as silent and ignored as the evidence hanging on that board.

"Who's Reid?" John wondered. "I'm not letting some stranger talk to my kids, I don't give a shit if he is an FBI agent!"

"Well…that's something else I need to tell you guys." Alexa said, at last turning to them. "See… there's a reason why the unit agreed to take this case, despite how long Peter's been missing… I know one of the agents. Personally."

John looked at her, amazed. "Personally?" He asked, angry, suspecting the worst.

"Who?" Harper wondered, skeptical.

"It's someone we all know." She said. "And, despite everything, he has graciously agreed to spend his personal time, including the time of his team, to help us. To find what happened to Peter… we all owe him a great deal. He could have just as easily turned me away… in fact, he almost did. And I can't blame him in the least."

Each one of them were interested, not in the least suspecting who it could be. The moment was upon him and for a split second, Reid believed he was going to be sicker than his wife.

"So who is it?" Jeremy demanded.

Alexa took a deep breath and finally blurted out. "Spencer Reid."

There was stagnant pause, the conference area became as silent as a tomb. Reid was about to turn around and see their shocked faces… when suddenly his ears felt like they were burning.

Amused laughter spread around the area, the three in disbelief and amusement. "You have got to be kidding!" Harper giggled.

"Spencer Reid?" John asked. "That shrimp of a thing? He works for the FBI"

"It's Dr. Spencer Reid now and he's one of the best agents the BAU has ever had!" Morgan corrected angrily. "And he's standing over there, trying to forget that you're not worth his time."

The laughter quieted as, at last, they spotted the figure turned away from them. There was no avoiding it now. Slowly, Reid turned and found the faces of the three people who haunted his nightmares long before unsubs and bloody bodies came into his daily life.

The laughter fell into a silence, lying in wait to burst forth again. Harper was smirking a bit, biting back her lip to keep her giggles down.

"Oh my God," Jeremy mumbled. "I never would have guessed."

"He's all grown up." Harper pointed out, speaking about him like he was some object in the zoo.

"It would be a little too hard to stick his head in a toilet now." Jeremy added, his laughter getting the best of him.

"I think I could still manage it." John said. He, however, was not laughing. Not in the least. His expression was hard, staring at Reid like he was the reason his son was missing, like he was the bully all those years ago.

He was, however, the first one to speak directly to Reid. "Why are you doing this?"

"You mean, why am I trying to find what happened to your child?" Reid asked. "Because my team and I are the only ones who can."

"This isn't any of your concern." John took a dangerous step towards Reid, who was a bit grateful the square table stood between them. "You don't care about my family, you don't know my children. I don't want your help."

"I'm here because your wife begged me." Reid said. "Although, if I'm stepping on some toes here, my team and I can mosey on. I've got plenty of old rivals to help in this country."

"No!" Alexa cried, as if Reid had been serious. "Spencer, please don't listen to him. I came to you, I'm asking for your help. If they're too much of a problem, they can leave."

Reid met her horrified eyes and swallowed his anger. "Alright," He nodded. "Perhaps I'm just overreacting. After all, it's been twenty years…" He glanced at the others. "People can change a great deal in that time."

He turned back to the board to continue his studying, but John was determined to get the last word. "Maybe you have, numb nuts, but I'm just who I've always been. Even better. I'm popular and revered and can still get any girl I want… what the hell do you have besides some fancy gun and a shiny badge?"

Reid didn't answer, focusing on the board. He looked so entranced, they believed he hadn't heard.

Morgan, who had stayed out of it in an attempt to let the kid fight his own battles, caught a glimpse of his face. Reid was trying to remain impassive, but he looked on the verge of tears, struggling to keep himself together.

* * *

><p>JJ was trying to figure the best way to approach this. She didn't just want to come out and clobber the girl with the theory, it would be best if Riley came to it on her own. She'd be more willing to accept it that way. As they stepped into the precinct's break room, Riley grabbed one mug and went to the coffee maker. JJ stepped beside her, watching as she braced herself at the sight and smell off the coffee.<p>

"None for you?" She asked, curious.

"No," Riley shook her head. "The smell makes me so nauseous; I'm trying to keep my breakfast down."

"I'll make you some more tea," JJ informed, grabbing another mug. "It doesn't do much, but ginger tea did at least make the nausea a little more bearable for me."

"Funny, I don't remember you being sick." Riley said, glancing at her. "How long ago was it?"

"Oh… it was awhile ago." She said casually. "I am curious, how long have you felt this way?"

Riley was reluctant, looking around to make sure they were alone. "Please don't tell Spencer… he thinks I've only been sick for a few days, but in truth… it's been a couple weeks."

She struggled to keep the joyful smile from spreading on her face. "And you haven't been to a doctor?"

"No," She replied. "Why, do you think I should?"

"Well… let's consider that." she said slowly. "You've had nausea and vomiting, exhaustion and frequent urination, right?"

"Right," Riley confirmed. "I also had a fever last night, but it broke around 3."

"How high was it?" She questioned.

"It wasn't very high, 99.1, if I remember correctly." Riley gave a shrug. "Not a big deal."

"That doesn't really sound like a fever at all." JJ retorted. "More like a raised temperature."

Suddenly they were arguing semantics? "I suppose… Where exactly are you going with this?"

Pouring out some hot water, JJ dunked the bag into it, letting the striations of tea spread through the liquid. She reached into one cupboard, pulling out the box labeled Essence of Ginger.

"I'm just wondering if maybe… this isn't the flu at all." She informed.

Riley was getting further and further confused, not to mention worried. "What else could it be? You think it's something worse?"

"Not necessarily." JJ replied, the smirk on her face could be repressed no longer. "I'm just considering a different alternative… maybe you should, too."

Despite her urging, Riley wasn't getting the hint. She thought for a moment, but eventually gave a shrug. "I honestly can't think of anything."

Either she really didn't suspect or she was unwilling to come to the conclusion on her own. "I'm just saying, if you take all those symptoms you have with a raised temperature and sudden cravings for foods you almost never eat… it really doesn't sound like the flu. It sounds like something else, something… namely…" She trailed off, hoping she would see the point.

The light bulb finally ignited in her mind, sparkling in her eyes. Riley rolled her eyes in disbelief. "I am not pregnant, JJ."

"How can you be sure?" JJ asked, folding her arms.

"I'm sure because I'm sure!" Riley said, a little annoyed. "I'm not pregnant, I can't be."

"Sure you can," She argued. "Unless you have medical proof that you're barren, I think it's very possible."

"But Spencer and I are always safe." Riley informed calmly. "It's impossible."

With a shake of her head. "Nothing is impossible. Accidents happen, people forget."

"I'd think I'd know if I were pregnant, JJ." Riley said sternly. She was in complete denial about it. There was no way she could be pregnant… it just couldn't happen. Not now… maybe not ever.

Going for broke, JJ went for a something a little more scientific. "So you're whole body is like clockwork. You haven't been late at all?"

Fine, she would humor her. Counting on her fingers, Riley went back week after week, tracing the timeline to her last menstruation. It was easy to backtrack, considering she counted her weeks usually by Spencer's cases and stays out of town.

However, she got more and more frightened the further back she got. Running out of fingers, Riley was nothing short of terrified.

"Oh my God, I might be pregnant." She squeaked, a trembling hand coming up to cover her mouth.

JJ rushed forward, putting her arm around her. "Riley, it's okay. Don't panic."

"No…" She said calmly, pulling her hand away. This couldn't be true, it just wasn't plausible. "I… can't be pregnant… it just wouldn't happen. I would have known before if something went wrong."

She suddenly realized JJ was giving a few friendly strokes to her shoulder, trying to ease her anxiety. "Just relax, it's not going to help getting upset. I know it's scary to think about, but it's going to be alright."

"What's going?" Garcia asked, interrupting the girls.

Riley and JJ looked over, seeing both Garcia and Emily join them in the break room. She did not want more people brought into this, but she didn't know what to say to make them leave.

"What's up?" JJ asked.

"The other family members are here, Reid's ready to interview the daughters as soon as Riley gets back." Emily explained. "Is everything alright, what's wrong?"

"Everything's fine," Riley muttered, looking away.

"Sweetie, you look like you just had a heart to heart with a ghost." Garcia cried, noticing how all the expression had faded from Riley's face, turning her very pale. "What's wrong?"

"Is she getting sicker?" Emily said, looking to JJ.

There was smile on her face, however, which deepened the confusion. There was no point in lying to them. After all, they were all friends. "We're not positive, but… we think… Riley might be pregnant."

The girls were flabbergasted for a moment, never expecting that. Unlike the supposed mother, however, they were joyful and ecstatic.

"Oh my God!" Garcia squeaked, practically jumping for joy.

"Are you serious?" Emily wondered, looking between the two for confirmation.

"Like I said, we're not sure, but…" She gave a shrug. "I've been pregnant twice, I know the signs."

While the others were filled with happiness at the news, Riley was ready to burst into tears. Her hands gripped the counter top behind her, her knuckles a pure white. It helped her keep hold of her emotions, keeping a neutral, stone faced expression, so afraid if she let her passions get the best of her, it would be true. This couldn't be happening. This had to be some terrible nightmare. Maybe this whole thing was just a bad dream and any minute, Riley would wake up in her husband's arms in their home. Their home, alone. Just them.

"No," Riley said, her voice even as she shook her head. "I'm not pregnant; we're just jumping to conclusions. There has to be a rational answer that explains why I'm feeling this way."

"There is, Sweetie! It's because there's a cinnamon roll in your toaster oven!" Garcia cried, much too loudly. Luckily, no one from the team was within earshot.

"Obviously, you and Reid weren't planning this, but it's going to be alright." Emily assured with a warm smile.

She expected any second, Riley would accept this and feel at least a little happy about it, but she didn't. Her feelings were cool and calm, giving a shake of her head. They suspect, maybe, until she was sure, she didn't want to get her hopes up.

Pulling it together, Riley straightened up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her sweater. Speaking rationally, she said "Look, as excited as you all are, I don't want to just assume anything. How do we know this isn't just some bad flu? I mean Morgan's sick, too."

"She has a point." JJ said, conceding. "It's not good to just assume things. These symptoms could be a number of ailments, as she said. We should find out the truth first."

"How am I supposed to find out?" Riley asked, considering that. "I don't think there's any way I can sneak back to the hotel today and if I take a test tonight, Spencer will see. I don't want him to know anything about this. I don't even want him to know we discussed this."

"He doesn't need to know yet." JJ insisted. "We can take a test right here, as soon as possible."

"I've got nothing to do while those searches are running!" Garcia exclaimed with delight. "I'll run out and get you a test."

At that, Riley felt relieved. In a few hours, she'd learn this was just some stupid wishful thinking on her friends' part and it would all be behind her. "Let me get my purse, I'll give you some money."

"Oh, pish, Sweetie, it's on me!" Garcia said with a bright smile. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Can you still do the interviews?" Emily asked. "I don't want to press you, but if you really don't want Reid to know, you might not be able to hide it from him."

"It'll be alright. He already knows I'm sick." Riley avowed. "I have to be there for him, he needs me."

Emily agreed. Riley looked sternly at all three girls. They weren't gossips, but anyone could let something slip. "No one else is to know about this, understood? The last thing I need is for word to get back to Spencer, especially if it's not true."

"Mums the word, Sweet Pea." Garcia agreed. "We'll see you in an hour or two."

Mutely, Riley nodded, grabbed Spencer's coffee, and allowed Emily to lead her out. Once the girls were out of sight, the other two let their joy get the best of them.

"I can't believe this! Reid finally reproduced!" Garcia squealed like an excited kid at Disneyworld.

"We don't know for sure yet." JJ exclaimed, not wanting to get her hopes up. "Though I have to admit, even without proof, I'm pretty certain. And I have a feeling Riley is, too… a woman knows her body. I know she's afraid, she'd be crazy if she wasn't, but once it sinks in, she's going to be so happy… and Reid…"

"How do you think he's going to react?" Garcia wondered, curious and apprehensive at the same time.

JJ, however, knew better. She remembered, from a few years ago, long before he became a married man. When Reid had been mistaken and believed that Riley was pregnant instead of JJ. The look on his face, the light in his eyes, he wanted to shout from the rooftops he was going to be a father… only to have the truth ripped away from him a second later.

"Reid…" JJ said slowly with the brightest of smiles. "He's going to be thrilled."

* * *

><p>"Oh man," Jeremy mumbled as he stared across the bull pen, spotting the group of women conversing in the break room. "Are those all agents?"<p>

"If they are, no wonder there are so many unsolved crimes." John muttered, his eyes skimming over each one. "How the hell do these guys get anything done?"

"I love the blonde." Jeremy noted in a low growl.

"Which one?" John wondered with a smirk.

"The skinny one obviously." Jeremy retorted with disgust. "Though I doubt the carpet matches the drapes."

"Are you men scamming for your next wives?" Harper said with a slight laugh.

"Wife, easy lay, whatever." Jeremy said with a shrug. While John and Alexa seemed at odds, this couple got alone pretty well, even with the suggestion of infidelity. "What about you, John? Which one do you like?"

John Hillman, who gave no concern to his wife's scowl, scanned the cluster and spotted the one who made his stomach twist pleasantly. "The brunette…" He said softly. "With the curly hair… she is gorgeous."

"She looks too smart." Jeremy brushed it off.

"Are you kidding?" John cried. "A girl in a sweater and jeans that tight is just looking for an excuse to take them off."

The two agents remaining in the room were not involved in the conversation. Morgan was desperate for Emily and Riley to get in here and finally reprieve the poor boy from this torture. Cautiously, he moved over to the board again, acting as if he were helping Reid arrange some of the items.

"You doing okay?" Morgan whispered, barely audible.

Reid stood so rigid, if something were to apply pressure, he'd surely snap in two. "How can I be okay?" Reid hissed through gritted teeth. "They're insulting my friends and objectifying my wife… I hate them. I mean, I physically hate them. I can't believe I'm here."

"It's going to be alright, you just need to stay calm." Morgan assured. "You know Prentiss and I will lay them out if you need us to. Karma is a bitch, I think I could manage to give both those jackasses a swirly if you like."

There was a pause and Reid suddenly had a small smile on his face. "I could help you with that."

Morgan stifled his laugh and patted the kid on the back. It wasn't much, but Reid felt a bit better. At least he had his friends on his side.

"Here they come," John said, getting to his feet. His took a glance at Reid, ready to show him that he was the same player he'd always been. Twenty years didn't make a bit of difference.

Emily and Riley arrived, stepping into the enclosed area. Before she could go over to her husband, there was suddenly a monstrous barrier in her path.

"Hi," He said slyly, offering his hand. "I'm John… and I have to tell you, when I saw you over there, I could not take my eyes off you."

Riley eyed him with caution and nodded. "Try harder next time."

She attempted to step around him, but John wouldn't let her pass. "So you work for the FBI?"

Clearing her throat. "I'm an associate."

"Oh, so, you're not actually an agent." John said with a smile. "I guess it would be unfair to give you a gun, those looks of yours could kill."

"If only," Riley said with a fake smile, once again attempting move past.

"I imagine you have a lot of interesting stories from your job." John said, feigning interest. "I'd bet you'd make great conversation, maybe over drinks?"

At that, Riley lifted her hand in triumph, the gold and silver rings glistening from the lights. "I'm married."

"Me, too." John said. "There's no rule that says married people can't talk over drinks."

Reid gathered his materials, slipping them under his arm. He caught a glimpse of Alexa, sitting at the table with a sour, dejected expression on her face. Once again, he felt a pang of sympathy for her and it didn't disperse so quickly this time. He knew this little show was simply for Reid's benefit, but he suspected it wasn't the first time her husband flirted with other girls right in front of her."

Riley gave him no answer. With a deep breath, she rolled her eyes and looked past him. "Are you ready, Baby?"

"Yeah," He smiled and at last Riley made it over to him, handing him his coffee. He took a long sip. After he swallowed, he gave her another grin. "Thank you," He said and slipped a kiss on her cheek.

It was obvious her next gesture was just for the benefit of the others. With a bright smile, she brushed some of his hair of his face, looking deeply into his eyes. "Let's go."

"Right behind you," Reid said with a dopey smile. As she hurried out, Reid followed, leering triumphantly at his former living hell.

"I guess you can't get _any_ girl you want." Reid stated. At last the superior one, he turned and victoriously exited the room.

Emily and Morgan couldn't hide the pride they felt for Reid, especially Morgan. "If you four could step out and wait for us in the bull pen, we'll begin your questioning in a moment." He said, chipper.

The four obeyed, moving out into the main room of the precinct. John Hillman, boiling with rage over what happened, was not about to take this lying down. A step behind the women, he grabbed his best friend's arm. Eyes glowing with fire, he lowered his voice and ordered, "She's mine."

Jeremy nodded in agreement, more than willing to help his friend. They were not about to let Spencer Reid get away with this.


	10. Monsters

Reid didn't realize he was holding his breath until they turned the corner, heading down the corridor. Riley took his hand and gave it a hard squeeze, a simple way to show him she was there for him.

That was good, because he really needed her now. Quickly, he turned and pulled Riley into a hug, practically squeezing all the air out of her body. There was a sudden flash in her mind that being held this tight might not be wise in her condition. Immediately, she pushed it away. She was not in a delicate condition. Those girls had put wild thoughts in her head.

"Are you okay?" She said soothingly, caressing him on the back.

He buried his head in her shoulder. "Nothing ever changes." He said, his words muffled by her sweater. He sat up and she could see the emotion twinkling in his eyes. "I can't believe I even considered things might be different. I don't know what I ever did to them to treat me so badly. I know I'm different… I always tried to stay out of their way, and now I'm just trying to help them-"

"They're bullies, Spencer!" Riley exclaimed, her hands landing on his cheeks to keep him focused on her. "They hate themselves, so they take that anger out on other people… they envy you because you're so much better than them."

"I don't feel much better then them." He grumbled, he couldn't ignore how much he hated that man, looking at Riley with such impure thoughts, believing he could actually have her. He hated to be so possessive of her, but right now, it couldn't be stopped.

"And if you let them know that, they win." She informed, her hands left his face so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders. "You're worth a hundred of each of them. All you have to do is solve this case and then you get to leave them behind forever. And even if they don't admit it, they will always know that you were the better man by helping them."

She was right. He had to keep perspective. This wasn't about him, this wasn't about those people. It was about a missing little boy and all those potential victims. He didn't often get to stop the crime before it happened; it was an incredible opportunity.

Taking a deep breath, he didn't feel quite so upset now. Reid pulled her to him again, reminding himself that she was his. John Hillman and his gang might take away his confidence and make him feel miserable, but they couldn't take the woman he loved.

"I'm really glad you're here." He mumbled, breathing in slowly, taking in the smell of roses.

Without a word, she moved to press a kiss on his cheek. They remained in arms for a full moment before they pulled away, needing to get back to work.

Rossi was waiting for them down the hall when they arrived. The interrogation rooms were placed a good distance from the rest of the main precinct, a typical tactic to make suspects feel separated from the rest of the world.

"Are they ready?" Riley asked as they walked over.

"All set," Rossi answered. "The oldest didn't object to being questioned alone, she's waiting in Room 1. The younger one was a little nervous, but we gave her some crayons and an officer is sitting with her."

"Tell their mother not to worry. This won't take long and we'll bring them back as soon as I'm done." Reid explained.

Both Rossi and Riley were a bit impressed. "You're worried how Alexa is feeling?" Dave asked.

It just dawned on him that, yes, he was a bit concerned how she was feeling. He didn't want to admit he was sympathizing with her, shaking his head. "Habit." He explained. "We'll be back soon."

In agreement, Rossi headed back to the precinct, going to help Hotch. Reid and Riley went to the window to observe the elder daughter, wanting to get an idea of what they'd be dealing with in a moment.

Meredith Hillman sat at the metal table, facing the two-way mirror. She had no concern of being left in here, neither anxious nor angry. To pass the time, she'd pulled out a book, laying it flat on the surface, hunched over to read. Her blonde hair was wavy and long, hanging around her like golden vines. A black headband kept it out of her face. It matched the rest of her clothing, a pure jet black turtleneck with black jeans. Her fingernails were short, the matching polished old and chipped. She didn't seem like the kind of girl who obsessed over her looks, or glorified in the pain of others.

"She's not what I expected." Reid said softly as he studied the teen.

Riley looked to him. "What did you expect?"

"Another Alexa." Reid explained. "A snobby cheerleader, maybe with John's attitude. If she weren't the spitting image of Alexa, I'd think she was adopted."

It was silly for a man of Reid's age and status to be timid of a teenager, but seeing this person in the next room eased his anxiety. With his folders in hand, he stepped over to the door and casually walked inside. Riley remained at the window, watching with intent, ready to learn all she could from the scene.

* * *

><p>Morgan wasn't sure what he despised more, working this case or the stabbing pain in his stomach. For a few days, he began to believe he was getting better. The pain only came at a few select times and each episode was duller than the last. Since the wee hours of the morning, however, it was coming back in full force, even worse. He didn't know what to do.<p>

Emily returned to the room with a few files in hands. "I spoke to Hotch, he has some questions he wants us to focus on in our questioning. He's not entirely convinced the two men are completely innocent, which, from what I could see the possibility isn't unlikely."

She waited for Morgan's response, even just a grunt of agreement, but there was only silence. He hadn't even looked to be listening. He was seated back in his chair, almost in a relax fashion, but they way his hand pressed on his abdomen and the sweat formed on his brow, she knew some was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked with great worry.

"I'm…" He grumbled a bit to clear his throat. "I'm fine."

He was lying. She'd known Morgan too long not to know when he was lying. Hurrying over, she lowered her voice, checking him up and down. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," He groaned. He didn't want Emily to make a fuss out of this. "I just have some… cramps or indigestion in my stomach, it'll go away in a minute."

Emily hesitated. She wanted to reach out and touch him, put a loving arm around him or just brush his cheek, but they were much too exposed here. Instead, she sat on the edge of the table, right beside him. "Maybe you should go back to the hotel. I mean, if you don't feel well-"

"Prentiss, I said I was fine." He struggled to pull himself out of his chair. "It's just a cramp, it'll pass in a minute."

"How do you know that?" She demanded.

"It always does. It's nothing to worry about." He fought with himself to take a deep breath. With his hand pressing in at the sore spot, it made the battle bearable.

How could she not worry? He was standing before her, looking in as much pain as a bullet wound. "Is there… anything I can do?"

The way her eyes glowed at him, she didn't have to say it for him to know how she felt. It scared Morgan more than this terrible reoccurring pain. He breathed in deeply once again and was relieved as he felt the pain at last fade away, letting out a thankful sigh. "See, everything's fine. Focus your fears on something more important, Princess."

He gave her a weak smile, but Emily found no comfort in his words. "What? Am I not allowed to be worried about you?"

"I'm saying I don't want you to waste your time." He insisted. "We've got more important things to focus on now than how I feel."

She was very taken aback like this, almost hurt that he would believe her feelings weren't sincere. "You're my boyfriend, Derek. How you feel is the most important thing to me."

"It really shouldn't be." He insisted, and with that hurried from the room to fetch their first victim.

What had just happened? Emily didn't understand. It was as if he would have preferred if she hadn't said anything, or told him to suck it up and deal with the pain. It was no wonder she couldn't tell him she loved him, and now, she was beginning to fear that their relationship had almost run its course. Maybe it was one major fight away from being over.

That very thought impaled her heart like a spear. Just the thought of losing him was agony. She couldn't let that happen, and would do anything to make sure of that.

* * *

><p>Meredith sat up as the door to the interrogation room opened. She watched nervously as a tall, lean man stepped in. In his hand, he held a few manila folders. Once safe inside, he closed the door behind him.<p>

"Hi, Meredith," Reid said with a pleasant smile. He set the folders down and offered his hand. "My name's Dr. Spencer Reid, I work for the FBI, and if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you some questions."

Cautiously, the young girl accepted his shake, giving a nod. "I don't mind."

"Thank you," He said, taking the seat on the other side of the table. "What are you reading there?"

She lifted the cover to show him the title. "The Hunger Games."

Reid nodded with approval. "That's a very good book, a very good series."

"Yeah, but I've read it before." She said with a nod, carefully setting her book down.

"Really?" He asked. "Answer me this, if you could choose, which district of Panem would you be from?"

He was trying to win her trust by talking about things she liked, a technique that worked well with children and the simple minded. Meredith considered it a moment before answering. "District 4."

"How come?" He asked.

"I love the beach," She explained. "Plus, more importantly, I'm a really good swimmer, which might come in handy if I'm chosen for the Games."

"Very true," Reid nodded, leaning back in his chair to relax. If he was calm, she'd know there was nothing to worry about. "Do you know why I'm here, Alexa?"

After a nervous swallow, Meredith nodded. "You're looking for Peter."

"That's right," He said softly. "I know this has been a very hard ordeal for your family, but my team and I are doing everything in our power to find what happened to him."

"So…" Meredith said slowly. "You think Peter's dead?"

The last thing Reid wanted to do was break this news to her, but she was a different kind of girl. She could handle the truth, he could see that. "I don't have any proof, but… I've worked and studied cases like this for almost a decade. After all this time… there's little to no chance that your brother is still alive."

"I hope he is dead." Meredith muttered, hanging her head.

"Why do you say that?" Reid wondered.

Tears sprang forth from her eyes as she rested her arms on the table, covering her book from sight. She rested her head on them, the tears dripping down in the black fabric.

"If he's dead, at least he's not in pain somewhere…" She sobbed lightly. "All I can think about is how scared he must be… all alone… someone torturing him. I mean, our home isn't great or very happy, but we're safer there than lost in the world."

Reaching across the table, Reid brushed Meredith's arm, giving her a bit of comfort. "You really love your brother, huh?"

She nodded, sitting up. She wiped her eyes, "I love both Penny and Peter… they're all I have."

"What about your parents?" Reid asked. "You're aunt and uncle? Friends at school?"

Letting a sigh, she looked away for a moment, almost like she were ashamed of what she was about to say. "I try to spend as little time with the rest of my family as possible. My parents are always fighting and my aunt and uncle… they have poisonous attitudes, they always treat me like there's something wrong with me. Just because I'd rather spend my Saturday nights reading and baking cookies than going out and doing illegal things… and I have a few friends at school, but… they're not the kind of friends who really care about you… they're just there so you have a place to sit at lunch and don't feel like a loser when you have to partner up in class." She paused to clear her throat, her cheek turning a rosy red from the rush of emotions. "Penny and Peter… I know they're just little kids, but they love me. They look up to me, they don't judge me… they are really all I have… and I lost one of them."

Reid could tell at once the poor girl was blaming herself for this, even though she had no rational reason to. "Meredith," Reid softly uttered. "You did nothing wrong. You did nothing but be the best big sister to your little brother… you must have known him pretty well."

She nodded again, finding it hard to talk at first. "I think I knew him better than my mom." She shifted uncomfortably, eyeing the two-way mirror. "She's not watching me through that, is she?"

With a small smile, Reid shook his head. "No, she's not out there."

"Look," Meredith said, lowering her voice as she leaned on the table. "I love my mom, she works really hard just to keep food on the table and I know she loves us… it just feels like she doesn't really know us… sometimes, she's so angry, I feel like she doesn't care. I think that's why I got so attached to the twins, they're starved for affection. My mom doesn't have the energy to spend a lot of time with them and my dad doesn't want anything to do with us most of the time, especially me and Penny. "

Reid cleared his throat, "Well, in my experience, parents have a tendency to know more and care more than they let on. Sometimes, they can surprise you. She flew all the way to DC to beg me to take this case, that took a lot of guts."

"You knew my mother before this?" She asked, curious.

Choosing his words carefully, Reid nodded, "We weren't really friends, but I knew your mom in high school." He gave a smile. "She was the prettiest girl in school… and you look just like her, her to be honest."

Meredith blushed and looked away. "Thank you," She mumbled. Her eyes came up again as she brushed some hair behind her ear. "You know, you don't look old enough to have gone to school with my mother."

Clearing his throat, Reid skipped over the subject. "That's a long story."

* * *

><p><em>Sitting at the kitchen table, Riley felt tense as her mother stepped into the room. If she didn't pay her attention, the woman may just get what she came in for and leave her alone. Pulling her book closer, Riley hunched over the pages, trying to focus on her homework.<em>

_Her mother walked over to the fridge, opening the door. After a moment, she let out an annoyed sigh. "There is never anything to eat in this house! I guess I'm going to have to do the shopping for now on!"_

_"I guess," Riley mentioned inadvertently. She turned the page of her Geometry book, continuing the list of problems._

_Her mother shot her an angry glare, despising the very sight of her. "I thought you said you were going to clean this kitchen."_

_"I never said that, you ordered me to do it." Riley explained, looking up. "I'll do it, I just wanted to get my homework done first."_

_"Do it now, how am I supposed to cook dinner with this mess in here?" She demanded._

_For once she was going to cook, not just demand for Riley to start dinner? "You know, you're here all day, you're telling me in the eight hours I'm at school, you can't pick up a sponge and wash a dish?"_

_She shouldn't have said that. Riley regretted it the moment the words hit her tongue, and now she was going to pay for it. Immediately, her mother grabbed one of the dirty dishes on the top of the pile and quickly chucked it towards the wall, missing her daughter by a few inches._

_Riley jumped back in fear, her life flashing before her eyes for a moment. Her mother wasn't finished, either. One after another, she grabbed a plate, smashing it on the floor, her anger shattering with each explosion of shards._

_"What the hell is going on in here!" Riley's father screamed as he came down the steps, directly into the commotion. He wore a raggedy pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt smudged with various stains. He looked at the scene with amazement._

_"Clean up this goddamn mess!" She ordered, grabbing Riley's arm to pull her out of her chair. "You've been nothing but a little bitch since you came home, get off your ass and do something around here."_

_Riley twisted to wrench her arm from her mother's grasp. She flinched as her mother made an attempt to smack her, but she never struck. "You both are the two laziest people in the world, not one of you gives a damn shit how hard I work. I'm sick and tired of it!"_

_"Alright!" Her father cried, stepping off the bottom step. "You made your point, she'll clean up the mess. Just… go sit down."_

_"I can't! I have to go and get ready for work. Someone in this house has to bring in a paycheck!" She shoved past her husband to begin stomping up the stairs, calling one last shot down the steps. "Maybe I should just leave, then where would the two of you be?"_

_Silence in the kitchen, Riley quickly grabbed the garbage can and started gathering up the biggest pieces of the plates. Her father stumbled over to the table, his legs barely supporting his gangly frame. It was a clear indication he was coming down from a high._

_"I'm sorry, Baby," Her father said as he sat down, watching her clean up the mess._

_She shook her head, telling him to just forget about it. "I wish she would leave, we'd be a lot better off without her."_

_"Well, maybe when you graduate, you and I will move out." He said with a small smile. "We'll get a nice little place together."_

_With bright, hopeful eyes, Riley looked up to him. "You mean it?"_

_"Yeah," He smiled. "You could get a full time job and, with my welfare check, we'll do just fine. At least, until you get married."_

_Her hopes diminished as quickly as they appeared. "But… Daddy, I'm going to college. I've been working so hard for years to get into Harvard, I'm not just going to throw that away."_

_Her father gave her a pitiful expression. "Sweetie, I think it's wonderful you have dreams, but you have to realize, things like that just don't come true. Especially for someone like you."_

_She knew opening this door was not a good idea, but Riley was stubborn. She wouldn't stop without at least arguing her point. "Sean thinks I can do it. He encourages me!"_

_At that, her father became angry, slamming his fist on the table. "You don't mention that name in this house, young lady, you understand me?"_

_Her father and his best friend, Sean Hotchner, had had a falling out several years ago over an argument she never got the details on. It was common knowledge that Riley was still in contact with him, but it was understood she never mention it to either of her parents._

_With a nod, Riley went about her work, cleaning up the kitchen. "Finish picking up this mess and then do the dishes. Then get dinner started. God knows she won't do it." He said calmly, standing up. Carefully, his slippered feet walked around the mess and into the living room where he turned the TV on at full blast and collapsed on the sofa._

_Riley forced the tears down her throat, not letting herself get emotional over this. Her parents were ignorant, and all she had to do was grin and bear it. If she kept strong, someday she'd get out of her maybe find some real happiness. Someday._

Riley's thoughts had been wavering for the last few minutes, barely hearing Spencer speak as they walked down to the other interrogation room. They watched Penny through the two-way mirror, sitting on her knees in order to reach the tabletop. A red crayon was clutched in her hand, scribbling on a piece of paper. Reid wasn't nearly as worried about this conversation as the last, but indeed believed this little girl would give him the most information.

Opening the door, he stepped in carefully, not wanting to alarm the little girl. Penny looked up from her artwork, her jade green eyes lit up with interest and a little bit of fear.

Without a word, the young female officer stepped out of the room, giving the two privacy. "Hi, Penny," Reid said with a bright smile as he took the seat across from her. "My name's Spencer. Do you mind if I sit here with you?"

She hesitated, inching away from him. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

"That's very good, that's very safe." Reid nodded, folding his hands on the table. "But you're allowed to talk to a police officer, right? So you can talk to me."

She eyed him suspiciously. "You don't look like a police officer. Where's your uniform?"

"Well, I don't have a uniform, but…" He reached into his pocket and removed his badge, sliding it across the table to her. "I do have a badge, see? I'm a special kind of police officer. I'm an FBI agent, and I go all over the country to catch bad guys."

Penny picked up the badge in her little fingers, her inquisitive eyes taking in every aspect of the ID and medal. She seemed satisfied with it, setting it back down. "Are you going to find my brother?"

All he could see in his mind's eye was Henry, his precious little godson who asked him all kinds of questions about the world. Like with Henry, Reid didn't want to come straight out with the cold truth, giving a confident smile.

"I'm going to try my best." He answered.

"Good," She said, turning back to her coloring. "He does this all the time, but he's never been gone this long."

"Peter's gone missing before?" Reid asked, watching as she colored.

"Uh, huh." Penny grabbed a blue crayon, adding more swirls to the paper. It mixed with the red, creating streaks of purple here and there in the striations. "He usually goes down the street to the playground until Meredith or Mommy goes to get him."

"So… you think Peter ran away?" Reid wondered, a little bothered Alexa hadn't mentioned this before.

Penny was suddenly silent, her eyes looking directly at her picture, but not really seeing it at all. Her eyes were shiny with oncoming tears and she was obviously afraid.

"What is it, Penny?" Reid asked, concerned.

Her lip began to tremble, trying to fight off tears. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" He asked kindly. "You won't get in trouble, Penny, I promise. In fact, if you tell the truth, it'll help me a whole lot."

She was reluctant, but, with sorrowful eyes, she looked to Reid. "He ran away with a monster."

A monster; that could be a clue she was making a story up. One even she believed was true, just to make sense of what had happened. "Did you see this monster's face?"

"I saw him at the park." She explained. "He kept asking Peter if he wanted to play. He said he didn't want to play with me because girls have cooties."

That sounded too real to be made up. "Was this monster a grown up?" He asked, trying to appeal to her.

"He was like a big kid." She explained. "Like Meredith… only a little bigger."

"Why did Peter leave with him?" Reid asked. "Did the monster come into your house?"

Tears were taking her over now, shaking her head. "I should have told Mommy… but Daddy would have been angry at me. They're going to be mad."

"No, they're not, Penny, I promise you, no one is mad." He assured, reaching to take her little hand. "We need to know what happened to your twin brother, it's important. Anything that you remember."

Struggling for a breath, Penny wiped her tears away from her cheeks. "Peter told him about Mommy and Daddy… how Mommy's always sad and… Daddy's always yelling… the monster said he could take him to a better place, a new home where he could be happy. Peter told me when we went to bed that he was going to leave that night, that he would wait for him in the front yard… and maybe soon, he'd send his new friend back for me and Meredith. But I didn't want to go with the monster, he was bad. Peter wouldn't believe me… and now he won't come home."

"It's okay, Penny," Reid hurried over to the other side of the table, taking the free seat and pulling the little girl into a hug. She clung to him tightly, instantly comforted, as so many people were when confronted by this man. "I'm very proud of you for telling me the truth. And I know your mommy will be, too."

"I'm scared he's going to come back for me." She sobbed lightly into Reid's shirt. "I'll never see my mommy again… or my daddy, or my sister…"

"I'm not going to let that happen." Assured Reid, pulling away to look in her eyes, comforting her with a strong smile. "I promise, nothing is going to take you away."

"Spencer," She muttered. "Are you afraid of monsters?"

"No," He said confidently. "They're scared of me. And they won't come and hurt you as long as I'm around."

She felt a bit better, her tears slowing down. Reid pulled her into another hug, helping her calm down.

* * *

><p>Reid asked Penny to stay put for a moment and then he'd take her back to her mother. He stepped out of the interrogation room, finding Riley outside, watching the entire scene. As he saw her face, he was immediately concerned.<p>

"Are you alright?" Reid asked, stepping over. His hand caressed her shoulder lovingly.

"Yeah, why?" She wondered.

"You look like you're about to cry." He said gently.

"Oh," she shook her head. "I guess I just feel sorry for these girls… their life sounds a little too familiar."

She glanced at Penny again through the window, feeling like she was indeed looking through the past at her younger self. She remembered her troubled childhood all too well, and no amount of drinking and running could have blocked it out.

"I know you can sympathize but you can't let yourself get emotional." He said, putting his arm around her waist and holding her against him. "You and Meredith and Penny have very different lives.

"No, Spencer, you don't understand." Riley argued, stopping, turning to face him. "You grew up in a different world, and I'm not saying it was easier or anything, it was just different. I can relate to Meredith and Penny. I can see how much pain they're in, how scared they are."

He considered that a moment, "Do you think Alexa and John hurt their children?"

"I doubt physically, but there's plenty of mental abuse there. In my experience and my opinion, I think that's worse." She insisted. "Their parents are miserable; they must fight all the time."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything." Reid assured. He wasn't sure if he were thinking objectively or he just didn't want to side with Alexa. "I mean look at us, we fight all the time."

"Oh, no. That's different." Argued Riley. "You and I… we bicker, we quarrel, we pick little fights so we can have makeup sex in the kitchen. John and Alexa, their kind of fighting is… bad."

Her eyes glistened brightly, the tears desperate to take over. Her fingertips brushed over his chest, feeling his consoling heartbeat. "I grew up in a house like that, Spencer… I know the signs. These children are living in Hell… no wonder Peter left with a stranger so willingly. He was probably desperate to leave."

"Children living in abusive homes are less likely to be kidnapped than those who don't." Reid recited. It didn't make sense. "If the unsub's choice of victim was over money or attention… his main focus was just on having Peter. He might even have believed his family wouldn't spend much time looking for him."

"I'd say the unsub is mentally unstable himself, probably reaching out for boys who grew up in a similar home to his." Riley added, despondent.

"What he wants to do with the boys, though…" Reid trailed off, shaking his head. There were a number of obvious possibilities and none of them were good. "Let's not jump to conclusions. We'll wait for Garcia to finish the searches before we make some kind of theory."

Just as Reid was about to go back in, the two were disturbed from a cry down the hall. "Riley."

They turned to see who was walking toward them. "What's up, JJ?" Reid asked.

"I was just looking for Riley," She replied. "I just wanted to tell you Garcia's back from that… errand… you asked her to run."

"Oh," Riley mumbled slowly. She had actually forgotten. Her stomach twisted a bit, suddenly nervous. She really wanted to just forget the whole thing. "Uh… I'll be right there."

"Okay," Was all she said, hiding her smile, and turned to go back down the hall.

Turning back, she saw Reid looking at her curiously. "What errand?"

"Oh… just something for my flu." She answered, waving it off.

"If you want to go back to the hotel, Sweetheart, you can." He insisted, giving a gentle stroke to her arm. "If you're sick, I want you to rest."

She had an idea she'd be feeling much better by the afternoon. "Don't worry," she said, giving him a quick kiss before pulling begrudgingly out of his arms. "It's nothing major, I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Sure," Reid answered, still a bit doubtful. "Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yes," She swore, and brushed a hand on his cheek. Without another word, she headed off in JJ's direction, certain within an hour's time, this whole scare would just be some humorous memory.


	11. The Test

Garcia stood at the sinks in the restroom, pulling a small paper bag out of her purse. To the left of her was Emily, resting on the navy blue sofa, chomping on one of her fingernails.

"What's up, paper cup?" She asked with care.

Emily hardly remembered there was another soul in the room, looking over nervously. "Uh… nothing."

"Something's up," She mentioned, turning to her with curiosity. "You need to unload? I'm a great faux therapist."

She gave a smile. "That you are, PG, but… this is a problem I can't really talk to you about."

"Wow," She proclaimed. "That doesn't ease my concern at all. You're not getting a visit from the stork, too, are you?"

At that, Emily couldn't help but laugh. With everything plaguing her mind, it would just be her luck if she were pregnant. "No," She shook her head. "It's not a big deal, at least I'm not sure yet… but if it turns out I can't handle it, I will definitely come to you."

"Okay," She answered, a little disappointed. "Don't hesitate."

The swinging door opened and JJ stepped in. She held the door for Riley, hurrying in behind her. JJ closed the door, turning the deadbolt to lock them inside.

"I figure we could use some privacy." She said, going to join the group.

"Look, I appreciate the emotional support, girls," Riley said, her tone heavy with her increasing possible predicament. "But I don't want to keep you from your work."

"It's fine," JJ assured. "I've got absolutely nothing to do, Garcia's computer is still working, and Emily… wait, doesn't Morgan need your help with those interviews?"

Taking a deep breath, Emily got to her feet. "We'd already finished Hillman's interview. Garcia got back while we were in the middle of Bundle's. I knew he could handle it, so I passed him a note explaining I had to step out. He nodded and I left."

"There you have it!" Garcia said with a smile. She practically shoved the package into Riley's hands. "Are you ready now or do you need to chug some water?"

"Geez, Garcia, maybe you'd like to take the test for me!" Riley snapped. The girls were a bit taken aback by her outburst. Taking a moment to calm down, she carefully took the bag with trembling fingers. "I'm sorry… I'm under a lot of pressure right now."

"It's going to be alright, Rye." Emily gently brushed her shoulder. "If you're not pregnant, we'll find out what's wrong with you and, if you are… we are all going to be there for you. No matter what."

She certainly hoped so, considering she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted this test to say… or what she would do once she had the answer.

Her hands were shaking so badly, she could hardly remove the small box from inside the bag. She set it neatly to the side, at the ready just in case she were to start hyperventilating… in five minutes, apparently, according to the front of the package.

With another deep breath, clutching the box, Riley made her solo way to fatherest stall. "Okay," She whispered, closing the door and locking the hatch.

"There should be directions right inside." Garcia called, trying not to sound too cheerful.

"I'm peeing on a stick, Garcia, it's not exactly rocket science." Her echoing cry answered. "Could someone turn on a faucet, I can't do this with you three listening!"

JJ complied, turning on the closet sink and allowing the rushing water to fill the room. She exchanged excited glances with the other two girls.

They had no indication what was going on until they heard the toilet flush. JJ turned off the water and waited. Another minute and Riley stepped out of the stall, staring down at the stick in her hand. "Alright," She muttered, setting it on one of the sinks, going to wash her hands. "It's done."

"How long until it's ready?" Emily inquired.

Riley straightened up, her wet hands clinging to sink as she stared at her frightened expression in the mirror. "Five minutes."

* * *

><p>Alexa sat in the captain's office, the only available space left to do her interview. Harper had been led off by Rossi. Despite the tactic of solo interviews, Hotch suspected this was the best thing for the woman. She needed to be separated from these people.<p>

He stepped into the office quietly, spotting Alexa sitting on the couch beside the window. He gave her a friendly smile and closed the door. There was something about this woman that Hotch found strangely comforting. The last time he'd felt so open with a person so soon was Hayley, but that was a long time ago. Hotch had been a much different person then.

"More tea?" She asked as she accepted the mug he offered her.

"You don't have to drink it," Hotch said as he sat down beside her. "My grandmother always made tea when someone was upset, it's habit."

"Oh," She replied, "so you do this for all your victims' mothers then?"

"Uh, actually no," Hotch answered. "To be honest, Agent Jareau typically speaks with the family, she relates much better to them than I do."

"Well," She said again, and with that flashed him an extraordinary grin. "I think you're doing just fine, Agent Hotchner."

Hotch met her gaze and suddenly became mesmerized by her jade green eyes. It was the warmest smile he'd seen on her yet. There was such a genuine quality to it. He felt his breath catch in his throat, almost like he'd been shot in a vest. But there was no pain. In fact, it was a wonderful sensation.

He let out a nervous chuckle and looked away. Alexa had trouble taking her eyes off him, for he was awfully cute, especially bashful like this. She lifted her mug and took a slow sip of her tea.

"It's good," She said as she swallowed, happy he'd gotten over himself and was looking to her again. "Thank you for having your team come here… you must have had plans this weekend."

"Well, I'm sure the rest of my team did." He answered, sitting back on the couch.

Curious, "Not you?"

Hotch shook his head. "My son's at his mother's this weekend, so that left me pretty open."

She let out a long moan, "Oh, I envy you. I don't think I've had even an hour to myself since I got married. It's either something to do with the kids or working an extra shift or dealing my husband and his family. And let me tell you, those three make me feel like I've got six kids sometimes. Only they drink and curse and make a bigger mess than my six-year-olds with finger paints."

Hotch opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly realized it wasn't his place. He closed it, looking away quickly.

"What were you going to say?" She asked with curiosity.

"Please don't take offense to this," Hotch said, "but… if they make your life so stressful, why do you let them act like that in your home?"

She let out a long sigh, closing her eyes to deal with the debilitating stress. "Maybe because I'm a doormat."

"I… I didn't mean-"

"No," Alexa shook her head. "I know you didn't… it's the truth. I let these people walk all over me when I was a kid… and I guess I never learned how to live without it. Only I'm older now and… know better."

"That's why you let go of your pride to go to Quantico and talk to Reid." He mentioned.

"I had to! What kind of mother would I be if I didn't do everything to find my baby?" She affirmed.

At her cry, she involuntarily reached over, her hand falling on his thigh. The obvious electricity glowed between them, bringing their eyes to meet. That rich dark brown mixing with the muted green.

Hotch swallowed tensely as she carefully pulled her hand away, ignoring what had just happened. Both believed the other hadn't felt the same at such an intimate touch. "I know Spencer didn't want to help me… he almost didn't even come."

"He's a very good man, he's just been through a lot of pain in his life." Hotch said. "Reid is not a man who lets go of a grudge easily… you can ask his wife first hand about that."

"Maybe she could give me a tip on how to get on his good side." She joked.

Hotch smiled again. He shrugged. "Just try talking to him. You remember him as a weak little boy, but he's a man now. A very strong, capable man. You have to treat him like one… that might help him let his guard down about you, and he might see that you've changed, too."

She gave a smile. "It sounds like you really care about him."

"We all care about him." Hotch illuminated. "We're a dysfunctional group of people who never really belonged anywhere until we found each other." He let out a sigh. "I guess that would be hard for an outsider to understand."

"Actually… I understand perfectly." She answered. Alexa looked away, staring down into her tea. She did understand, and in that moment, had never envied a group of people more.

* * *

><p>"How much longer?" Riley grumbled. Her whole body was cold and shivering, each silent second agony to her. She could do nothing but pace the length of the bathroom, desperate to know how much more time she had, yet too afraid to look.<p>

"One more minute." JJ said, checking her watch.

The last five minutes, the girls had attempted some small talk, but it wasn't going well. None of them wanted to discuss the weather or their lost weekend plans or even how Reid was dealing with encountering his old classmates. One subject was hanging on their mind and it wasn't ignored so easily.

"So…" Garcia mentioned, unable to help herself. "If, by chance, you are pregnant… when do you think it happened?"

"I don't know," Riley complained. "I can't believe this might be happening."

"No offense, Sweetie," Emily mentioned. "I mean… you and Reid are married, there's nothing wrong with it, but… in this day and age, it's pretty hard for someone to get pregnant if you take precautions… really, is it that much of a shock?"

"Yes!" Riley exclaimed. "You know, sometimes a couple can do everything right, everyone can be wearing exactly what they're supposed be wearing and those little things still manage to make trouble!"

"How?" Emily asked with a bit of a laugh.

Whipping around, Riley furiously met her eyes. "Em, he's a genius! I'm sure his brilliant sperm can find a way through!"

"She has a point," JJ replied. "I mean, when Will and I were dating, I was on the pill and we used condoms and I still got pregnant. If these things are meant to happen, they'll happen." Glancing at her watch again, she gasped. "It's time."

Riley stopped in her tracks, looking to the sink were the infamous white stick was lying in wait. Emily and Garcia stood up, anxious for the verdict.

Slowly, like she were heading towards the electric chair, Riley made her way over to the sink. With a shaking hand, she reached out for the test, trying to brace herself for the answer.

At the last second, she pulled her hand away. "I can't do it," She shook her head, walking away. "I can't look, someone else do it for me."

Immediately, Garcia took the order. She carefully picked the test off the sink. Riley stood at the ready on the other side of the room, hands on her shapely hips. Outside she was brave and impassive, inside she was screaming like a crazy person.

At last, Garcia looked at the test. She forced herself not to show any emotion for a moment, just until she was sure what she was reading was true. Looking up, she met Riley's eyes.

"Positive." She answered in awe.

Riley's face became white as a ghost. "What?"

"It's positive!" She exclaimed, beaming wildly at the expectant mother. "Your eggo is prego, Mamma Bear!"

Riley tried to keep calm, but it was just too much now. She couldn't believe this was happening… she had been so sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that she wasn't pregnant. Now the truth was staring at her in the face so blatantly, it was written on a digital screen.

"Oh, God…" Riley moaned, the tears immediately forming in her eyes. Her knees gave out as she collapsed onto the couch behind her. "This can't be happening."

The girls never expected her to react like this. They knew she was scared, but that fear never triumphed over the joy of a new baby… except now.

"Riley," Emily said as she rushed over, sitting beside her. She put her arm around her. "It's okay… this is a good thing."

"No, it's not!" She sobbed, looking up at her. She looked to all three of them, begging them to see. "You don't understand… I can't be a mother. It just can't happen."

"Well, looks like you beat the system," Garcia insisted, showing her the test again. "I bought you the top of the line, the best on the market. Nothing is better than this short of a blood test."

"I'm not saying I can't physically conceive." Riley explained. "I'm saying I can't raise a child."

That was greatly unexpected. "Why would you even think that? Motherhood is not the easiest job in the world. It's not easy at all… but it can be done." JJ said confidently. "You're going to be great."

"No, I'm not," Riley argued, on the verge of having a breakdown. "I will be horrible, I will make this child's life miserable… just like my mother did to me. I can't bear the thought of putting an innocent child through that."

She stood, her arms folded as she started pacing again, trying to make sense of all this. Before today, she often thought of having a child with Spencer, but every time she considered it, it filled her with a sense of dread and panic. She just couldn't get over that. Now suddenly, it was thrust upon her.

"I don't know what to do." She moaned, covering her eyes.

"Well, it's a little late now." JJ said with a shrug. "You're just afraid because you're whole life has suddenly changed. You just need time to let it sink in."

"Yeah…" Riley nodded, turning around. "Except for the fact that it's not too late."

"What do you mean?" Garcia asked.

"I'm saying if I don't want this… I don't have to have it." She said seriously, regaining a bit of her composure. "There's a very simple and quick solution to something like this."

Each of the girls looked to have been given a shot of Novocain. "You're going to have an abortion?" Garcia asked, not believing it.

The sudden idea startled her. "I didn't say that… I just said I do have the right… if I decide."

"And what is Spencer going to say about that?" JJ asked bitterly. She fully agreed that a woman could do what she wanted with her body, but this wasn't just some random woman. This was her best friend's wife, who was considering killing his child. A child she knew he would want.

"Who says Spencer has to know?" Riley wondered. "At least until I make my decision and… if I chose to abort, telling him wouldn't do any good."

"Riley!" Emily exclaimed, appalled. "You have to tell him. As soon as possible."

Her frustration was getting the best of her. Riley looked to her best friend with bitterness. "Hey, you know what, Emily? If we're talking about keeping secrets here, you may want to sit this conversation out!"

At once, Emily went from concerned to horrified. The other two were confused.

"What is she talking about?" JJ asked.

"Nothing," Emily snapped, brushing it aside. "This is completely different. Spencer is your husband, and this is his child. He doesn't deserve to be lied to and deceived."

"And what am I supposed to do?" Riley exclaimed, her emotions spilling out with more tears. "Ignore the inevitable, have this baby, and let our lives spin out of control?" Her eyes squeezed closed as she remembered. All the screaming, the frightening, the tension, crying herself to sleep almost every night… It would all happen again, only this time she would be the one to go crazy, she would be the one to scream and hurt the people who loved her… Spencer was a much better man than her father, he could very likely take their child and abandon her… or worse, stay with her like Riley's father had, reminding his wife every day with every look and every word that he hated her. That she had ruined his life.

"I can't let that happen." Riley whispered, shaking her head.

"Riley, you're just scared!" Emily yelled, trying to get her to see reason. "You think you're going to be like your mother and instead of proving that theory wrong and doing everything to make sure that doesn't happen, you're taking the easy and, by the way, coward's way out!"

Her tear filled eyes immediately shifted blazing with wrath. Riley had no idea of Emily's past history, and therefore believed she had no right to judge. At that, her vindictive side broke through.

"Emily and Morgan are having an affair." She stated, her eyes flashing with satisfaction at her.

The attention suddenly shifted over to the other side of the room, where the usually controlled agent stood in shock.

"I'm sorry, what?" Garcia hollered, as if she hadn't heard right.

"I can't believe you just did that." Emily hissed. She could practically hear each of the toilets flushing her career down the drain.

"Is that true?" JJ wondered, just as bowled over as the bubbly girl beside her.

"Okay, I don't think it's technically an affair. It's not like we're married or involved with other people." Emily corrected. This was too enormous; she couldn't believe this was happening.

"But… you guys are sleeping together?" JJ needed clarified.

With a groan, "Ugh, yes… we're… kind of a couple."

"I… cannot… believe this." Garcia mumbled.

"It's not that big a deal!" Emily assured. "We've kept it quiet for this long, obviously it's not affecting our work. You don't even have to think about it, just forget it."

"Oh no," Garcia said, her hands waving madly around her head, trying to make sense of all this. "This isn't something you just forget, this is huge, this is beyond reality huge… I don't think any of our lives are ever going to be the same ever again!"

"Garcia," JJ said, placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "You're not helping…" She was the only person who seemed to be thinking clearly. Emily was looking to the ceiling while Riley stared at the floor, both filled with fear and the uncertainty of their futures. "Look, we're not going to figure anything out in here. We need to get back to work before someone comes looking for us, so… let's just stay calm, let these things sink in and… we'll talk about it later."

"I know this is a big deal." Emily said. "But… can you guys promise, at least for as long as we're in Vegas, you won't say anything about this?"

"Of course," JJ said. Garcia seemed unable to look at her, though Emily couldn't tell if she was still shocked or if that had turned to an angry hurt. "And we won't say anything to Spencer, either."

"Thank you," Riley whispered. "Uh… I'll be out in a minute, I just… need some time alone."

"Sure," Garcia's voice had come back to her. "We'll see you out there."

Quickly, the girls gathered everything from the test, taking it out to be disposed off. Riley heard the door open and slowly swing close, standing alone in the bathroom. Her legs, trembling from the ordeal, walked over to the couch and slowly sat down, leaning on her hands.

She hadn't even realized someone was still in the room with her until she sat down beside her. A comforting arm went around her shoulders.

Looking up, Riley met Emily's worried eyes. Out of the heat of the moment, she felt terrible over what she had done. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that."

"You're having a baby, you're allowed to freak out." Emily kindly said. "Though if I get fired… I'll need a job. You can hire me to take care of your kid."

Her eyes were suggestive and Riley got the hint. "I'm so confused, Emily," She choked, the tears taking over again, "I don't know what to do."

"It's okay," She soothed as Riley began to cry. "We're going to figure it out… and no matter what happens… I'll be here for you."

"Thank you," She sobbed lightly. As a true friend, Emily allowed her to lay her head down, crying on her shoulder. Riley's whole life was suddenly a mess and she knew, no matter what she decided, it would never be the same again.

* * *

><p>AN: I would like to state that I didn't put this in the story because I want to get into a debate about abortion. I have my own views on it and respect that everyone else does, too. This is just for the story's dramatic suspense. Having said that, I hope you guys are enjoying it! I love all the reviews I've been getting, they're wonderful! :)


	12. Taking Chances

Hotch at last finished Alexa's interview. He'd come down to the break room for a cup of coffee, his mind buzzing with the conversation he'd just had. He knew Reid would be a little bothered that he was getting friendly with this woman, but he couldn't help it. No doubt she was a different person twenty years ago, but today all he could see was a kind, friendly, personable woman… with the most incredible eyes he'd ever seen, that lit up the rare times he'd seen her smile.

Gripping the handle of the carafe, he took a deep breath. He wasn't so sure what it was about this woman, but she was very hypnotizing. He was sure it was nothing. He'd had a long stressful week and he'd finally found a neutral person to talk to, that was all.

"Hello, sir," Garcia said as she stepped in. In her hands she clutched some paper products.

"Garcia," Hotch said, looking up. "Are those searches finished yet?"

She cringed, having almost forgotten she was supposed to be working. She hadn't been to her computer in a half an hour. "I'm not sure sir, I… had something I needed to take care of. I'll find out in a jiffy, sir."

He paused a moment, taking her in with an intense stare. She seemed oddly distracted, even by her standards. "Is there something I should know? Something bother you? Because if there is and your work is being affected, we need to asses this."

"It's nothing, sir," She assured, hurrying over to pitch her trash. "It's done now, anyway. I'll get right back to work."

She went to rush off when the toe of her hot pink heels kicked the small metal trash can. Garcia gasped as the top of the rubbish spilled to the floor. "Oh, dear, I'm sorry."

Kneeling down, Hotch helped her gather up the trash. She tried to rush to keep the evidence hidden, but was frozen as she saw his hand pick up the small box. His eyes routinely looked it over, his whole brain coming to a stop.

At once, his expression changed from stern to surprised. He was just as immobile as Garcia for a moment. After a moment's hesitation, he cleared his throat and shoved the package into the trash with the rest of the garbage.

"I apologize, Garcia," He said after a moment, finishing up the gathering. "I didn't realize it was something so serious."

She wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. "It's alright, sir," was the most appropriate thing she could think to say.

They got to their feet, both awkwardly brushing themselves off from the dust on the tile floor. Neither were sure how to bring this up. She knew he must have questions, any rational person would. Hotch, with a bit of an embarrassed expression, looked up to meet her eyes. They were caring and sympathetic this time, a side the others so rarely got to see.

"Excuse me for asking, but…" He amazingly gave a small smile. "Are congratulations in order?"

"Oh," Garcia uttered, biting her lip a moment. "uh… sir, that pregnancy test wasn't for me."

"Really?" He asked, suddenly interested. "May I ask who it was for? I don't want to seem rude, but… if it is a member of the team, I need to be informed."

Had it been anyone else, she would have lied. Garcia would have taken the fall and evaluate the damage later. She couldn't be dishonest to her boss, however, it would have serious repercussions. "Well, sir… actually, it's not a member of our team."

Before Hotch could put the pieces together, Emily and Riley came into the break room, both seeming very emotionally exhausted. Instantly, Hotch understood the truth and was completely stunned.

Riley was still trying to gather her composure as she came in. The last thing she needed was for Reid to see her a distraught mess. But then maybe, he'd force her to go to the hotel to rest where she could spend the day contemplating this whole ordeal. Looking up, she spotted Hotch staring at her, his eyes filled with enormous joy and pride.

"You told him!" Riley shrieked in a hiss, looking to Garcia.

"No, I didn't, Sweetie. He saw the box, he figured it out!" She cried.

Hotch stepped over to her. He'd always had a special connection with Riley, it was evident to everyone. He acted around her in a way he never did with the rest of the team, a bond the others never would experience with their chief.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked quietly, a small hopeful smile on his face.

She let out a sigh and grumbled "Yeah."

"That's wonderful!" He exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

Riley was stiff in his embrace, not wanting to let herself be happy about this. This was awful, she wanted to be as ecstatic and hopeful as everyone else, but something wouldn't let her.

Sensing her discomfort, Hotch pulled away. He looked over her face, not seeing what he usually saw when a woman learned she was expecting. Hayley had cried with joy for an hour, when JJ had revealed it, she was beaming like a star… Riley was the complete opposite. In fact, she looked more like she'd been told she had cancer.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked, worried.

"I'm fine," She said, with the fakest smile he'd ever seen. "I'm just hungry."

She stepped off to head into the kitchen. Hotch looked to Emily first and then Garcia, their expressions telling him this wasn't good.

"You girls better get back," He informed. "Tell everyone we'll convene in the conference room in fifteen minutes."

"Yes, sir," Emily replied, and they quickly stepped out, leaving their unit chief with the distressed young therapist.

He didn't speak right away. He turned and watched Riley as she spotted a bowl of fruit on the table. She grabbed a shiny red apple from the pile, taking a bite out of it as she leaned on the counter. Her eyes closed a moment as she savored the taste, forgetting her problems for a nanosecond.

"It certainly explains your sudden change in food." Hotch mentioned as he walked over.

"Shut up," Riley moaned. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Wow, those hormones are in full swing already." He teased, grabbing the coffee pot again.

"Enough!" She snarled, glaring at him. "This isn't funny, Aaron, I don't want to think about it right now, so just drop it!"

"Hey," Hotch cried seriously, turning to her. "What's the matter? I know this is scary, but you need to calm down."

"I am so sick of hearing that! Yes, it's scary, I'm scared out of my mind!" Normally, she wouldn't just explode like this, but her nerves were frayed and frazzled, she couldn't keep hold of her emotions. "I can't believe this is happening."

Her hand set her apple on the counter so as to cover her face, hiding her tears. Hotch was shocked, he never saw her like this short of a threat on Reid's life. Abandoning his coffee, he stepped over, putting his arm around her, feeling her whole body trembling.

She didn't want to be touched, though, and inched away from him. Her tears slowed in a moment and pulled her hands away, taking a deep breath. "This is the worst thing that could have happened. The absolute worst."

"I've heard a new baby referred to as a lot of things, but I don't think I've heard a woman in your status say this is the worst thing to happen." He said. "Why are you so upset? Do you think Spencer's going to hate the idea? Does he not want children?"

"No, he does." Riley answered. "And that makes one of us."

He didn't respond immediately, taking a moment to let that sink in. "I thought, after all this time… you're feelings had changed."

She let out a sigh, "For Spencer's sake, I have tried… I have tried to want a child, but… I just can't get over that fear. It's like asking Spencer to get over his fear of the dark. He could work at it all he wants, it just won't ever be so."

She closed her eyes, a few tears making a break for it. Her hand wiped them away, taking in a stuttering breath.

"That's very true, but Reid's been lost in the dark many times, and that didn't stop him from fighting for his life… or yours." He responded in a stern tone, like he were reprimanding his team. "You're just scared you're going to be like your mother."

"I look just like her." She mumbled. "I remember her at 33, and I'm a spitting image… it's not irrational to believe I would become the same person if I had a child."

"So what if you look like her!" He exclaimed. "That doesn't mean anything. Three years ago, we went to Napa to hunt down an unsub. We found his name and tracked him down, only to find he was a registered nurse with a wife and a family of five. An upstanding member of the community. It turned out his estranged identical twin had stolen his identity and was murdering people under his name. Two people who looked exactly alike with completely different personalities."

"That's not the same!" Riley argued. "Children become their parents, and either I'll be a screaming abusive drunk or a lazy dead beat Vicodin addict. Which one do you think Spencer will find hotter?"

He shook his head. "Riley… I didn't know your mother very well, but I did meet her. And I heard plenty of stories from my brother. You are not her. You are not an brainless narcissist who constantly turns the conversation back to herself. You pulled yourself out of a small town to go to an Ivy League school, just like I did. You worked so hard to graduate in two years, despite the pressure coming down on you in the first semester – yeah, you didn't think I knew about that, did you?" He said with a significant look at her shocked expression. "You worked so hard to prove yourself in the FBI, focused countless hours treating your patients and, while your morals didn't toe the line the whole time… you've become one of the most requested and revered psychiatrists in the Bureau. You always put your friends first and you stand by your husband's side through anything, loving him and supporting him… even when he ruins your honeymoon. Trust me… you are not your mother."

Maybe he was right, but Riley couldn't let herself accept this. "Maybe you're right… but is it really fair to take that chance?"

"You know, for someone who's cheated death so many times, you don't have much faith in taking chances." He mentioned, and with that went back to the coffee. "Just think about it for awhile, come to terms with it before you make a decision. You might be surprised what you really want."

"What if what I want is to terminate?" Riley questioned, folding her arms. She watched his reaction, seeing him tense a moment, the carafe poised just short of pouring into his mug.

But, unlike the girls, he went on with his business. "If that's what you really want, it's your decision… but I think you might even surprise yourself."

Riley rolled her eyes, not believing him. Hotch, however knew better. Because had it not been for one provocation, terminating was exactly what her mother would have done.

They were interrupted as Alexa came into the break room. "Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt," She said cautiously, going to the sink. "I just wanted to return your mug."

"Did you finish your tea?" He asked kindly.

"Yes, it hit the spot, thank you." She replied, giving him a smile. Their eyes locked for a moment, which seemed to go on for an eternity, before Alexa stepped away. "I'd better find where my children have gotten to."

"We'll see you later," Hotch called as she walked out. His eyes lingered on her as she departed, waiting until she was out of sight before he finally turned back, lifting his coffee for a sip.

Riley was so amazed, her mouth stood open like a trout. "What was that?" She finally asked with a stunned chortle.

"What?" He asked, uncertain.

"That… little moment you had with her." She explained. Her problem seemed in the back of her mind as she smirked. "The way you looked at her, I've never seen you look at someone like that."

"I was being friendly." He explained. His drink was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room to him.

"Oh, yes, definitely friendly," She nodded. "At least you'd like to be friendly."

He eyed her with disgust as if she were some sleaze ball in an interrogation room, but she wouldn't be intimidated. "Don't deny it, you like her. I've seen the way you've been getting along with her. Except for the fact she's about ten years younger than you, there's really nothing wrong with it… except for the immoral aspects that she's a victim's mother and also the sworn enemy of one of your subordinates."

He shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to admit she might be right. "I don't think you're one to lecture me on the ethics in the workplace, do you?"

"Cheap shot." Riley muttered. "Look, whatever, I've got too much on my plate to worry about this right now. You flirt with her all you want, just don't do it in front of Spencer, he's dealing with enough. Knowing this would just upset him more."

"I am not flirting with her." He answered. "She's a nice woman, that's all. We get along because we're both parents. Something you'll understand very soon."

She inched back at that, her gut twisting uncomfortably. "Don't bet on it."

"Hey," A voice called, startling them. Both turned to see Reid come in, looking concerned. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No," Riley answered at once. "We were finished talking."

"I've been looking for you." He smiled, going over to her. At once he took her in his arms, holding her close to him. "I've been worried about you, I thought you might be throwing up some more."

Riley let out a sigh of content, being held so securely in his embrace. "No… actually I'm not so nauseas at the moment."

"So Garcia's mysterious errand made you feel better?" He asked, pulling away to see her face.

"Uh…" She stuttered. "In a round about way, what have you been up to?"

"Well, Hotch was still talking with Alexa so I sat with the girls until she was finished." He glanced at his boss with a significant look. "I suggested I take them to their father, but they didn't seem too anxious in finding him any time soon."

"From what I learned from the mother, that seems a pretty popular opinion." He agreed. "Everyone's probably waiting in the conference room; we'd better get in there."

"We're right behind you," Reid called as Hotch stepped out. The couple was at last alone. Riley hated this sudden change. The last time they stood like this, they were just a happy husband and wife. There was no impending doom leering down on them… at least, that's how she felt.

He noticed the frightened appearance on her and became very scared. "You look awfully pale… are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Yeah…" She nodded, trying to relax a bit. "I imagine I look worse than I feel, I, uh…" She reached and claimed her apple again, "I even have a bit of an appetite."

"I'm starting to get concerned about these apples." He joked. He reached to gently stroke her cheek and Riley felt a shiver go through her. She loved this man so much, it ached her to think of a future where he stopped looking at her like that, holding her like this, touching her so lovingly.

"I love you, Spencer," She uttered, fighting back the strong urge to break down in tears.

"I love you, too." He answered, a little startled at her sudden confession. His other hand stole a light stroke along her denim backside, bringing a smile to her colorless and troubled face. "Is something going on? Are you… upset about something?"

"No," She shook her head. "Just felt like saying it."

"I never tire of hearing it." He gave her a soft kiss, pulling another sigh from her. They pulled apart, watching the relaxed and contented smile spread on her face. "Come on… we'd better catch up with the others."

He pulled away and took her hand, leading her from the kitchen. Riley was twisted with guilt. She loved this man so much, they were perfectly happy… just the two of them. What would happen if a third person entered this mix? There was no way to tell.


	13. Following the Trail

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" Penny whined sitting next to her sister on the sofa.

Alexa let out a sigh. "I know, Sweetie, but we can't leave quite yet." She explained. "I promise, we'll go get some lunch as soon as possible."

"I don't understand, what the hell was that all about?" Harper asked. "They talked to us like we're responsible and they don't even tell us the reason for it!"

"I don't know they did that, but it doesn't matter. Whatever their doing, it's to help the investigation." Alexa explained, sitting onto the sofa with the girls. Penny immediately crawled over her sister's lap to get to her, wrinkling the pages of her book.

"Watch where you're going, squirt!" She said with a light scowl.

"I'm not a squirt, you're a squirt!" Penny cried. "You're a big meanie squirt!"

"That's enough!" John yelled, causing both the girls to jump. "Not another peep out of either of you or I'm going to get mad!"

"Going?" Meredith mumbled with a roll of her eyes.

"What did you say?" Her father demanded. "You've got something to say to me, little girl, you say to my face. You'll see what you get."

She shrunk back in her seat, eyeing him cautiously, afraid the wrong response would set him off. "Nothing, sir."

"That's what I thought." He looked to Alexa angrily. "If we're forced into the middle of this, we have to stay in this stuffy precinct all day, then you better keep those two quiet."

"Alright, John!" Alexa snapped. "You yelling is not going to help anyone."

The door suddenly opened and one of the agents stepped in. "Hi," She said with a kind smile. "I don't think we've met, I'm Agent Jennifer Jareau, I'm the media liaison for the BAU. If there's anything you need, just let me know."

"Yeah, who do we got a talk to get some food in here?" Jeremy grumbled. "I mean, you separate us, you treat us like we're the god damn criminals, you'd think the least you g-men could do is spring for lunch."

JJ focused on him, her eyes hard and intense as she loosened her stiff muscles, ultimately disgusted by this man. "This is not a catered affair, Mr. Bundle. We're investigating a kidnapping and a possible murder. I'm sorry if you feel you've been treated unfairly, but we are doing everything possible to track down our subject. None of your basic rights have been infringed upon, any attorney will tell you that. I'm here to offer emotional support because, primarily, this usually is a very sorrowful time for a family. I see I was mistaken this time. Now, our interviews are finished, you are free to leave for the time being."

"I think we'll stick around, thanks." John said, glancing at his sister and friend. "I don't really think we'll be requiring your services, _Miss_ Jareau."

She glared at him a moment. She knew how badly Morgan wanted to knock this man's head off. If he didn't do it soon, JJ was going to step up to the plate. "Very well," She muttered and quickly left the room.

As the door closed, Alexa got to her feet, adjusting Penny more comfortably in her arms. "You're not here for Peter's sake, you're here so you can mess with Spencer Reid."

"What's wrong with that?" Harper asked. "We have so little in our lives."

"Exactly, you know there's nothing special about you so you're attacking someone who is genuinely unique." She snapped. "This is no different than high school."

"Who are you to judge?" Harper wondered, getting to her feet. Her black hair swept around almost dangerously, like a leather whip. For a moment, she looked like the wicked eighteen year old she once was, always on the look out to devour a poor and meek younger student. "You tortured him right along with us, you never said boo. Wasn't it your idea to lure him the football field that day?"

Her breath caught in her chest, that familiar bile taste rising up every time she thought of the awful things she'd done, especially to Spencer. "I'm not proud of that… and anyway, I thought you were just going to beat him up, I had no idea you were going to… do what you did."

"We were legends after that." Jeremy grinned, his eyes shining with a nostalgic sparkle. "Everyone in school knew our names. And now this kid's going to come in here and act like he's better than us? I don't think so."

"You're no better than us, Lexi." Harper said with a knowing smirk. "Don't you dare stand there and act like you're some saint because you came to him for help. People like him are not worth our time, just because he has something you need. Trust me, when this whole ordeal is over, do you really think you're ever going to see him again? He wants nothing to do with you and trust me, you don't want something like _that_ in your life."

Alexa knew she'd drifted from her friends over the years, but it was the first time she'd seen them in such an unflattering light. "I… I…" She wanted to retort, to explain to them they were not the superior ones. They were, in fact, weak and pathetic to hurt the esteem of a kind and decent person, especially one who devoted his life to helping people.

But, as Alexa admitted earlier, she was doormat. Shrinking back, she shook her head. "I'm going to take the girls and find something to eat. Come on, Mer."

Meredith obeyed, closing her book and getting to her feet. She followed her mother out of the lounge, all three breathing a lot better once they were separated from the toxic attitude.

"Mom," Meredith said, grabbing her mother's arm to stop her. "What did they mean… what did you guys do to Dr. Reid on the football field?"

It broke Alexa's heart to think of that afternoon, wanting so much to go back and make things right. It hurt even more to hear her daughter ask the question and her option was either lie to her daughter or tell her what an awful human being she was.

"Sweetie… we did something very mean to him." She said vaguely. "Something I regret very much and I wish I could apologize for."

"Why don't you?" She asked as they walked slowly to the break room. "I'm sure he'd understand."

"You think so?" She wondered, doubtful.

"Of course, oh my God, he's such a nice guy!" She exclaimed with a smile, almost giggling as she talked. "We had a really nice conversation. And boy, is he cute! Why can't he come around more instead of Aunt Harper and Uncle Jeremy?"

"Yeah!" Penny agreed, resting her head on her mother's shoulder. "He's a sweetie pie."

"Was he nice to you, too?" She playfully wondered, looking at her little girl.

"Uh huh," Penny replied, having the exact same grin as her big sister. "He's really brave, he fights monsters, Mommy. I was really sad about Peter and he gave me a big hug."

That warmed Alexa's heart so much, she thought it would burst. Even though he hated her, he wasn't displacing his loathing on her daughters. Perhaps Agent Hotchner was right. She'd been talking to him like some aunt who saw her little nephew after so long. She needed to talk to Spencer like an adult… maybe then, he'd at least hear her out.

* * *

><p>JJ returned to the conference room looking very agitated. Everyone was looking at her in worry. "Are you alright, Sweetie?" Garcia asked.<p>

"Yeah, just… those… people!" She said, folding her arms, feeling so shaken up. "They act like they whole world owes them something just because they got out bed this morning. I can't stand people like that!"

Reid was very pleased by her comment, his hand indicating her to the others in a way to show he wholeheartedly agreed with her comment. "See?" He asked, looking to Hotch.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Hotch said, not wanting to get into another debate with the young man. "What have we learned that's useful?"

"Well, Bundle and Hillman don't seem to be too upset over Peter's disappearance." Morgan said, his hand landing on his stomach again. It wasn't stabbing him at the moment, but it was irritating. "Hillman was very defensive on every question we asked, he might be hiding something."

"If he's hiding something, no doubt Bundle is, too." Emily added, obviously noticing the pain her boyfriend was in. It was an effort to sit here calmly and pretend nothing was happening. She was almost in as much agony as he was.

"You think they're involved with the kidnapping?" Rossi asked.

"I don't see what they'd gain from faking this." Morgan shook his head. "Neither couple has a lot of money or an important status, the only benefit I could think of is there's one less mouth to feed… unless John's having an affair."

"Garcia, I want you to run a financial status and background checks on all four adults." Hotch ordered. "There may be something in one of their pasts the others don't know, old debts or grievances."

"I will get right on that sir, a-sap." Garcia said, making a note with her sparkling pink pen.

"What about the women?" Emily wondered. "Either of them suspicious?"

"Alexa's clean." Hotch said at once. "She's devoted to her children, they're her whole life. It sounds like she doesn't have any kind of life outside of caring for her family. We're not going to learn anything through her."

He glanced across the table and saw Reid shift uncomfortably. It was obvious he was beginning to believe Alexa was not who he remembered, but he was too stubborn to let himself accept that.

"Harper, on the other hand, seems just as difficult as the men." Rossi continued. "Most of her interview was complaints on what a waste of time this was. It was taking time at her big career at the hair salon."

"She wasn't at all concerned as to what happened to her nephew?" JJ wondered, "I can understand the brother-in-law, but you'd think she'd be concerned for her flesh and blood."

"It's an odd family arrangement." Rossi replied. "Most of them act like they're estranged, but they're constantly in each other's lives. Normally when we see a family like this, they're very close and very loyal to one another."

Reid considered something, adjusting himself in his seat as he thought. "You know… it seems to go along with what Penny Hillman said."

"Is that a fact?" Rossi inquired, interested. "What was that?"

"She's under the impression that Peter ran away with a man; from her description, I'd say early twenties… whether it's the truth or not, I don't have any proof yet… but she said he left because he needed a new home. If they're living in this kind of environment, it would be a lot for a little kid to take. He was more than likely very anxious to run away."

"Children of that age don't typically go out into the world, even with a stranger." Emily shook her head. "They find a relative or a friend's house. Even they know they can't take care of themselves."

"He may not have had anyone." Reid explained. "Meredith claimed she didn't have a lot of friends. Peter may not have had any at all. After all… he is a twin."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Garcia wondered, looking up from her notes.

"Twins don't develop socialization skills as normally as other children do." Reid immediately explained. "It's a big subject in child psychology. Socialization is an evolutionary tactic, like lions in a pride, but instead of being eaten in the wild, it's just trying to survive on the playground. Twins are different, both dizygotic and monozygotic, they've known each other their entire existence so there's no pressure to be accepted by others, they always have someone to play with. It's actually a major issue in child psychology."

"Is that true, Riley?" Morgan questioned.

Riley was the only one uninterested in the conversation. She kept a tight grip on her husband's hand, so much so his fingers were almost numb, but the discussion around her was white noise. At the sound of her name, she sat, dazed, as if just realizing there were others in the room. "Huh?"

"Socialization in twins." Reid simplified, managing to give her a squeeze. "It's a major topic in child psychology, right?"

"Oh, uh… yeah, I… think so." She shook her head, barely able to understand what they were talking about. "I don't typically focus on children."

"Are you alright?" Rossi wondered. No surprise seeing he was one of the only three people who weren't informed on the situation.

"She's fine," Hotch said quickly to change the subject. "If the twins only want to be with each other, it wouldn't be that easy for a predator to take one twin and not the other."

"My instincts tell me this man specifically chose Peter. If he hadn't come willingly, he would have taken him by any means necessary." Reid assured. "He wasn't at all interested in Penny, in fact, he scared her."

"Okay… so we're looking for a man in his early twenties approximately, targeting boys between the ages of 5 and 9 from abusive or unhappy homes." Hotch said. "It's not much to go on."

"Baby Girl, did those searches turn up anything similar?" Morgan asked, turning to their analyst once again.

"Nada mucho," She replied. "Believe it or not, there haven't been too many kidnappings in the Vegas area in the last year. I did a search through the entire state, but there have only been a little over 300 kidnappings for boys under the age of 13."

"Girls tend to be more popular for predators." Rossi informed. "Let's think back, maybe there have been more crimes singling out twins or a twin. Along with kidnappings, let's try assault or flashing or some kind of impulse crime."

"Maybe even attempted kidnapping." JJ noted.

"Garcia, add that to your search. If there's anything connected, my guess would be it would be within the last three months. I want JJ to keep a watch on the family, observe them, attempting starting conversations with them, see what we can learn that could lead us to who took Peter. It's often these kidnappers attach themselves to the family to get better access to the child. Rossi and I are going to interview the people at the Hillman twins' elementary school. Morgan and Prentiss will investigate the Hillman home, see what they can learn about Peter, maybe there's a clue that shows where he and his captor may have disappeared to. It could possibly be where we find his body."

"Maybe I should go with them." Reid suggested.

"Your effort is better spent here." Hotch corrected. "Look back over the kidnapping cases, research which ones came from abusive homes, it's possible the captor was inspired by such a crime or was involved with it himself. Peter just might be the first victim, but that doesn't mean there weren't any rehearsals."

Reid wasn't so pleased at having to remain here. He would have liked to escape from this horror movie sequel for awhile, but he didn't argue. He couldn't argue with the logic, though. Hotch was right, there could be clues in the old cases and he was the best one to look for it. After all, he enjoyed a good paper trail. "I'll make notes on similar cases, and I'll add Garcia's results once she's finished."

"Alright, we'll meet back here in about two hours." Hotch concluded, and everyone quickly stood to get to work.

Reid looked over to meet Riley's worried face; the only person not getting to her feet. "I could use your help on this."

Riley looked up, startled and confused. "Did you say something?"

He'd never seen her so distracted. Really, he was starting to get worried about her. Her face was so pale and her forehead glistened with a cold sweat, he was tempted to abandon the case and take her to the hospital. "I asked if you wanted to help me research the past kidnapping cases."

Ordinarily, she would have jumped at the chance to assist him, but her mind was a live wire, she couldn't focus on anything right now. She wasn't sure how to deny him without him getting suspicious.

"Actually, I hate to steal her from you," JJ said as she gathered her things, "but I could really use Riley's help. Her expertise would be essential at studying the family."

Reid immediately accepted that. "She has a point. I'll see you later then?"

"Absolutely," She said softly, giving a nod.

Before she could pull away, Reid gently took her arm. "Are you alright?" He asked, soft but serious.

It wasn't the first time she felt like he could read her thoughts. The curse of being married to a profiler. "I'm just… a little distracted. I have some things on my mind."

"Okay…" Reid replied, not feeling relieved at all. "What is it, do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't," She answered, and with that, pulled away. "I'll be out there if you need me."

He expected her to give him a hug, or at least a kiss on the cheek. If he didn't know better, Reid would believe she was keeping something from him. He looked to JJ, the only one remaining in the room. "Is something going on?"

"Don't worry," JJ said confidentially. "Everything's going to be fine. You just focus on this, I'll look after her."

"Thanks, JJ," He said kindly. She returned his smile and stepped out of the room. Reid immediately reclaimed his seat. He grabbed the closest box, flipping off the lid and pulling out a handful of manila folders. With that, he began his search of flipping through the pages upon pages of kidnappings, searching for answers.

About ten feet from the door, Riley watched her husband lose himself in his mind as he set to work. She hated lying to him, and she loathed not being able to confide in him. After all this time, she almost couldn't deal with her own problems without seeking out her husband's advice.

JJ tugged on her arm to follow her and Riley obeyed. "Thanks for the cover."

"Don't thank me yet," She answered, guiding her towards the break room. "I pulled you out of there for a reason. Come on, I have something to show you."


	14. Girl Talk

Riley wasn't sure if it were hormones or instincts that was making her want to cry. It took more energy than vomiting to keep herself from letting her tears go. She and JJ were alone, outside where no one – specifically Reid – would overhear. There, she'd pulled out her phone and quickly brought up a movie, handing it for Riley to watch.

It was Joey's first birthday last September. The entire team had been there to celebrate the occasion with JJ and Will's families. JJ had taken many movies at the party with her phone, but Riley didn't know she'd gotten this particular scene.

Riley was sitting cross legged on the living room floor with the birthday boy in her lap. Reid was beside her playing with Henry and his Tonka trucks. Even Riley had to admit, they looked like a real family. In the movie, Riley was smiling at her husband playing without a care in the world, making his godson giggle like crazy. For someone who could be so serious, he really knew how to connect with children. She was, however, a bit surprised by her own actions. She stroked back Joey's hair a few times lovingly as they watched the two play… she couldn't remember hugging him like that, or putting that kiss on the top of his head. The little baby clung to her adoringly, almost as if she were his own mother.

"Do you see what I see?" JJ asked as the movie ended, carefully taking her phone away. "Because I see my son so happy to be in that woman's arms, who loves him so much. Now how could you honestly say you're not going to make a good mother?"

"It's different, JJ." Riley argued. "Joey is _your_ son. I don't mind being an honorary aunt, I get to love and spoil them without the worry I'm going to screw them up. If they cause me trouble, I can just give them back to you."

"Even an aunt doesn't act like that without some kind of maternal instincts." She pointed out. "You won't even let yourself consider an alternative, will you?"

She wanted to slam her hands down, but there was nothing in front of her. They rested flat against the soft denim on of her thighs. "I have considered it. I've considered the inevitable of hating my child, of ruining this baby's life and driving my husband away. Spencer and I are happy, just him and me. If we try to have more, it could destroy everything."

Letting out a sigh, JJ considered she might be going about this the wrong way. "Look, I'm sorry… I know this is scary. And believe it or not, I know what you're going through. The others don't know this, but… when I got pregnant with Henry, I considered having an abortion."

"Really?" Riley questioned, a bit interested. Knowing she'd been down this road made her suddenly seem to wise. "Why is that?"

"I'm not sure if you know this, but Will and I had a long distance relationship when we started dating. He was one of the local officers on a case in New Orleans when we met and… well, we kept in touch. It got to the point where I was flying down to see him every weekend."

"Every weekend?" She asked, amazed.

"Well, I didn't want the others to see me with him here. It was safer to go to him." She said with a nostalgic smile. Yes, JJ loved her life now and wouldn't trade it for anything, but she sometimes missed the excitement when she and Will first started dating. Sneaking around, flitting off to New Orleans to be with him for a long, passionate weekend, then hurrying back to DC where her friends were none the wiser. Or so she had thought at the time.

Her thoughts were lingering and she suddenly got back on track. "Anyway… all of a sudden, I was in your shoes. I thought it was the flu at first until I went to the doctor and found out otherwise. And I admit, I was terrified. Will and I hadn't really discussed the future, hell we'd just come out to the team… who, apparently knew about us anyway. I knew I didn't want to uproot my life and move down to Louisiana and I assumed he wouldn't want to come to Washington. I figured… why ruin what we have for something we're not ready for."

Riley was staring at the fast pace traffic whizzing by on the road, passing the precinct without a second thought. She doubted anyone in those cars were going through the same predicament as she. Her finger was nervously tracing the stitches of her jeans as she listened. "And, to be honest… I never thought about what kind of mother I'd be. I didn't even know if I'd want kids someday… especially since my sister died. I saw how much pain my parents were in over losing a child, to her own hand no less, I wasn't sure I could handle loving someone that much and then having it ripped away. Then suddenly it was upon me. I had no idea what to do and I was terrified I was going to lose the man I love… he had no obligation to me, he could just leave me and I knew that would kill me. That's when I realized… there is a simple solution. Nothing would change and Will would never know."

The words had an effect on her, though she wouldn't show it. "So how did you decide?"

"I thought about how I felt. At that point and that time." JJ answered. "I had a life growing inside me, just like you do now… in less than a year, it would be a living baby… my baby… and it would become a full grown person, I couldn't just throw that away… not without discussing it with the man who made it happen."

"So… you think I should talk to Spencer?" Riley asked, looking up with tear filled eyes.

"Will's reaction… it was nothing I ever could have imagined." She smiled joyfully, remembering. "Without it, I'm not sure I could have made the right decision."

_She'd been putting this off long enough, yet still JJ was having trouble picking up that phone. It wasn't too late. He never had to know. JJ could make an appointment and could be done with it in a few weeks time. She'd have to confide in someone about it, she knew a third party would be required to take her home after the procedure… perhaps she'd ask Reid. He was rational, he'd understand why she needed to do this._

_Still, though, she couldn't shake the reality. Her body had become home to a growing fetus, one that would grow into a living, breathing person… who knew what this person was meant for? Would it be a handsome little boy? Maybe one with her golden hair and Will's beautiful smile, the one that had hypnotized her on those streets of New Orleans. Or maybe a little girl, with her father's glowing brown eyes and her mother's sense of humor. Would it be a soccer star or a book worm, would it grow up to be a doctor or an artist? This life was filled with so many possibilities, ones that could someday change the whole world._

_It didn't matter, though, because no matter what decision JJ made, these questions would be with her for the rest of her life. She couldn't make this decision on her own. She needed Will… the love of her life, who was more her friend than anyone she'd ever known… she couldn't do this without him._

_Finally, she picked up the phone. Listening through the rings, she braced herself. She was just going to come out and say it. No pointing making a big speech or beating around the bush._

"_Hello?" That familiar sensual Louisiana drawl answered on the other end._

_It didn't fill her with the same anticipation this time, though. "Hey," JJ said, and before he could say another word, she blurted it out. "I'm pregnant."_

"_Wh…" Will was completely thrown off guard. "What?"_

_She let out a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," She said again. "I found out the other day… I think we need to talk about this."_

"_You're… you're not… kidding?" He stammered, and she could hear him breathing hard, completely thrown off guard by this._

"_I'm not kidding," She promised. "I'm due in November."_

_There was nothing but silence. JJ began to fear her boyfriend had hung up. The fear was bubbling in her throat and JJ wanted to beg him to just discuss this with her, don't run away. She loved him, she wanted to work this out with him._

"_Oh my God!" He screamed on the other end. "I… I can't believe this! I'm going to be a father! I'm going to be a daddy!"_

_JJ was shocked. She'd been living in fear for the last week, mostly over what he'd say… was he actually screaming with joy?_

"_We're going to have baby!" He screamed, "I… I'm stunned, I never expected this… I mean… this is wonderful! This is the best news I ever heard!"_

_Tears were starting to take over now and she covered her eyes to stop them from running down her face. She never expected this. She assumed the best case scenario would be Will would be calm and want to talk it over this weekend about what they should do, if they would share custody or if they should just terminate to save themselves a lot of stress… this reaction never crossed her mind._

"_JJ?" Will must have asked her a question. "JJ… are you still there?"_

"_Yeah," She stammered an answered, sitting up to get a grip on herself. "I… I didn't think you'd be so happy."_

"_Are you kidding! I know we didn't plan it, but I am so… so happy!" He exclaimed, and JJ swore he was crying over this. His happiness faded and suddenly he sounded worried. "JJ… you do… want the baby, don't you?"_

_With a small smile, she nodded, though he couldn't see. "Yes… I do… I never wanted anything so much in my life."_

"_I'll put in a request Monday morning to be transferred to DCPD." Will said at once, "I have a friend in the transfer's department, it'll go through pretty quickly, I probably could be up there by July. Until then, I can come up on the weekends to help you house hunt, my dad left me a good bit of money, we can get a real nice place."_

"_You…" She shook her head, not sure if she'd heard him right. "Wait… you're just… going to uproot your life and move here?"_

"_Well… yeah," He answered. "I can be a detective anywhere, you're primarily based in the capitol, unless you were planning to quit, then we could talk about what city we want to live in."_

_"No, I… I'm not going to quit." She took a deep breath. "Wait, Will… we're moving just a little too fast here, we can make all these plans when I fly down this weekend."_

"_Are you okay, Jay?" He asked, concern in his voice._

_She really was okay. The truth finally sunk in and JJ could deny her joy no longer. She was going to be a mother; she and the man she loved were going to be a family. "Yeah…" She nodded, tears claiming her again. "We're going to have a baby."_

"See… I really didn't know what I wanted until Will helped me see the truth." JJ said as she finished her story. "You're scared and alone right now, that's understandable. Spence is the man you love, your life partner… sometimes you can't focus on the reality of this until you talk it over with him. It is his baby, too; sometimes talking it with your husband helps you see perspective."

Letting out a sigh, Riley shook her head. "I appreciate the advice, but… you didn't go through what I went through growing up. Children become their parents… if I have this baby… and I become _that_… if I put my child through that torture… I'll want to kill myself."

"You don't have to turn out like that, though!" JJ exclaimed. "You are your own person, you could stop it before it ever happens. I may not know your mother, but I know you… you're loving and caring and kind… you're a nurturer, I've seen you care for Spencer when he's in the hospital, when he's sick, when he's upset, it just comes naturally to you. I don't see any scenario but you as a loving, devoted mother and that baby adoring you, just like my boys do me."

"Well… thank you for the vote of confidence." Riley said bitterly as she folded her arms. The more they discussed this, the more she was digging her heels in, becoming more and more determined to stop the disaster before it occurred. "But the more I think about this, the less I trust myself to take the chance… and I do not want to talk about this anymore. I have to go to the Ladies' Room."

With that, she turned and hurried out of the break room. JJ suspected she just wanted to escape for a few minutes and so let the subject go for the time being. She wanted her to see reason, but knew if she kept poking at the subject, the more determined Riley would be in her decision. She was losing hope that any of them were going to able to reach her… after all, who among them had even been in such a position?

* * *

><p>Morgan didn't say much on the drive. He had been trying to avoid Emily, not wanting to yell at her again. He was very confused and it wasn't her fault. All she was doing was caring about him, as any half decent girlfriend would do. That's what made Morgan feel so angry.<p>

He knew Reid's advice had a lot of truth to it. Saying "I love you" did mean everything. He did feel love for Emily. A love stronger and purer than for any woman he'd known before. He wanted to be with her forever. He wanted to marry her, he wanted to hold her at night, watch her rock their babies to sleep. He was deeply in love with her… but he knew himself and he knew how he ran from commitment. If he said it to her, what if suddenly his twisted mind looked for any reason to get out? He'd hate himself if he hurt her… and he couldn't live without her.

Emily was staring out the window, trying to ignore him. This was all two familiar, both of them sitting here, angry with each other because they wanted the other so desperately.

"You're not going to talk to me?" Morgan asked casually, taking a glance at her.

"I would," She grumbled, "but I figured you'd twist that around and make me feel like a jerk for just trying to look out for you."

"Prentiss… I'm sorry. I don't feel well, I haven't felt well in weeks and I don't know why, it's pissing me off. I took it out on you and I apologize for that." It was amazing how easily he could lie. He hated to do that to her, but he couldn't admit the truth. A white lie hurt much less than the cold truth.

To his relief, her attitude softened. She looked over, a gentle smile on her flawlessly beautiful face, her anger thawing away. "Maybe I'm too overprotective. It's just… I kind of like you, Morgan… I don't want you to be sick. How are my needs going to be met if you die?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "I just don't want to make a big deal out of it, that's all. I wonder if Riley's starting to get the stomach pain yet. It makes me feel a little better somebody else has this."

"Oh…" Emily murmured, looking away. "Yeah… I wouldn't bet on that."

"What do you mean?" Morgan wondered as he slowed at a stoplight. They waited at the intersection for the flash of green to give them the all clear. The streets were busy with other cares and dozens of people roaming the streets, none of them taking notice of the couple in the car.

Emily knew she probably shouldn't say anything. Riley would be furious if news got to Reid, especially before she decided what to do… but Morgan was her best friend, and she told him just about everything, long before he was her boyfriend.

"You have to promise you won't tell anyone. And I mean anyone." Emily muttered, angling herself to see him better.

He gave a shrug, "I won't tell."

"Especially Reid," She specified.

"I swear, I won't tell Reid. I won't tell another soul." Morgan assured. "So what's up?"

After a moment's hesitation, she answered. "Riley's pregnant."

His jaw dropped in shock, completely forgetting to drive forward as the light changed. "Oh my God… you're joking."

"Nope," She shook her head. "That's where I had to go when I left Bundle's interview… Garcia bought her a test and we were there for emotional support. It was there in black and white, she's expecting."

"Oh my God…" He muttered again, unable to stop from grinning this time. In his eyes was an obvious glow of big brother pride, thinking of Reid. "Way to go, kid." He mumbled.

The honk of a horn behind them sounded and Morgan came back to reality. He drove through the intersection, heading towards the Hillman's neighborhood.

"Yeah, but… It's not exactly good news in Riley's mind." Emily admitted sadly. "She's convinced she's going to be some mentally abusive nutcase like her mother, she's worried she's going to ruin her child's life and, more importantly, Reid's."

"Isn't that why she moved to Seattle all those years ago?" Morgan wondered. "At least, that's what Reid told me when they got back together."

"Exactly, you'd think after all these years, she'd get over herself and stop being so afraid. I think by now, she's confident that Reid will never leave her, she should realize this baby is a good thing." Emily shook her head. "When she takes time to consider it… she may learn that she really wants this baby."

"I'm sure she'll come around." Morgan said, "Reid's got a certain way with her, I'm sure once they talk about it, she'll realize she's overreacting."

"Or just over thinking," Emily mumbled. "That must be a girl thing. I have a lot of trouble with that, too, I think. Otherwise, I wouldn't care so much." She cleared her throat nervously.

"Prentiss…" He began.

"No, I was intruding where I wasn't needed. I promise, I won't obsess over you so much anymore. If you need me, you'll come to me. The rest of the time, I'll back off."

At that, Morgan reached over to take her hand. It was warm in his grasp, soft like the petals of a rose. He loved these hands, feeling them caress every inch of his body, feeling so love by her simple touch. He gave it a loving squeeze and pulled it to his lips, placing a affectionate kiss on the back of it.

Holding it against his heart, he met her smiling face. "Don't you dare back off, Emily. I was being a jackass to a woman who genuinely worries about my health. I love that you care so much about me. You just keep thinking the way you think."

She smiled brightly with sparkling brown eyes and squeezed his hand in return. It wasn't the exact words, but at least it was a step in the right direction. Maybe soon, he wouldn't be so afraid to tell her he loved her.

He never let go of her hand, letting it fall in his lap as he casually drove. Morgan thought of the wonderful news he just heard. He had to admit, perhaps it was chauvinistic, but he couldn't have been prouder of his boy. He was going to make a great father… but the longer he thought of it, the less he thought of his friends and the more he thought of himself. He felt tense and bothered by this news. If Riley was pregnant… what the hell was wrong with him?

* * *

><p>JJ caught up with Riley as she came out of the restroom, saying they ought to get on meeting with the family. It was understood the subject was dropped for now and both secretly thought it was a good thing. Riley was obsessing over this pregnancy, if she stepped away and thought about something else for awhile, she might see it differently, perhaps have a new revelation of the whole thing. It was worth a shot.<p>

They returned to the main room of the precinct, heading to get something to drink in the break room while discussing how to question the family. They were defensive people and wouldn't open up easily, on any subject. They would be looking for any reason to tear the girls down, they had to go in prepared. At least there was strength in numbers.

Stepping into the break room, however, they were surprised to see Alexa sitting at the table with her daughters. The girls were eating slowly and it seemed Penny was holding most of the conversation, talking and laughing while she smashed her peanut butter and jelly sandwich with her sticky fingers.

"Mrs. Hillman," JJ said as they stepped in. "Is everything alright?"

Nervously, Alexa got to her feet. "Yes, uh… my daughters were hungry. I don't have much money until I get paid next week, so I… I made them some peanut butter sandwiches, I hope that's okay."

"It's fine," JJ assured. Bread and jelly and peanut butter was cheap; it wouldn't bother anyone if this woman took a little to feed her family. In fact, neither she nor Riley could help but feel sorry for her, knowing it was a difficult life to live from paycheck to paycheck.

Riley looked to the girls with interest. Meredith took no notice of anyone, hunched over her food, having no interest for what was left in her hands. Penny, however, was watching them curiously, her fingers still squishing the food on her plate, turning it into an unidentifiable mess.

"You look like you're having fun." Riley said with a light smile.

"I ruined my samwich." She said, looking at her messy hands. "Mommy, can I have another one?"

She let out a sigh, reluctant to take more food that didn't belong to her. Riley immediately stepped in, saying gently. "You know, I think I'm going to make myself one, I'll make one for her if you'd like."

Alexa was genuinely touched by her kindness, knowing this woman had every right to hate her. "Thank you," She answered softly.

"Meredith, would you like another one?" She asked.

The teenager was startled a bit, looking up as if amazed someone noticed her. She eyed Riley cautiously before shaking her head. "No, thank you."

At that, she went to the counter to fix the food while Alexa reclaimed her seat. "You're to eat this one, little girl, not treat it like it's Playdough."

"I will, Mommy," Penny promised, licking the peanut goo off her fingers.

"Are the others still here?" JJ asked as she took the empty seat beside her.

"They're still in the lounge." She explained. "I tried to tell them they can go home, but… I guess they don't have anything better to do."

"We would prefer they stick around, we may still want to speak to them if new evidence comes up." JJ hesitated, considering Rossi's theory from earlier. "I'm sure they're just here because they're worried about Peter."

Alexa couldn't look at any of them, her focus drain to the grain of the veneer wooden tabletop. "I doubt it." She mumbled.

"Why do you say that?" JJ questioned. "It seems odd members of a family as close as yours wouldn't be upset when one disappears… unless they know the reason for a disappearance."

She wasn't stupid, she knew what JJ was hinting at. "My family didn't have anything to do with this. They were all very upset when Peter was taken. John was a wreck, he and Jeremy drove around at all hours of the night for weeks, searching for a trace of him. My sister-in-law was very supportive, looking after the kids while we were helping the police. They do care, it's just… my in-laws don't have children and John is very old fashioned… kids should be seen and not heard most of the time, until they're wanted, it's the mother's job to look after them… I know them. They miss him, they're hurting inside… they're just trying to get back to the way things were."

Riley returned to the table with two paper plates. She handed one to Penny, "Here you go, Sweetie." She said kindly.

Penny took it greedily, getting a stern look from her mother. "What do you say to Dr. Reid?"

"Thank you," She looked before devouring a bite.

"You're welcome," Was her response as she sat done beside JJ.

There was a long pause as Alexa watched her two remaining children and took a deep breath. "I know they just want to get back to normal… but I don't think anything's going to be normal again. I love my daughters more than anything, but… for the rest of my life, any time I look at my children, I'll always remember the one that's not here."

Riley was pulling apart her sandwich. She was hungry and thought peanut butter and jelly sounded good a moment ago… but it wasn't very appetizing now. "It's possible they're still in the denial stage of grief, Mrs. Hillman." She said carefully. "They've gotten past the shock of losing Peter, but there's been no burial, no funeral, nothing that signifies a typical end of life ritual. Those burial traditions are our way of letting go of loved ones, without them, their psyches are just not ready to accept Peter's gone."

Letting out a light scoff, "I understand that, because until we find him, I can't fully accept he's gone… I don't think it's so much denial for them as just attempting to get on with their lives. As you may have guessed… they're not too pleased I went to DC for help."

"You did what you had to do to find your child, there's no shame in that." JJ assured. "We've seen people go to much more dangerous lengths, believe me, what you did is completely normal. And… I think… it took a lot of courage to let go of your pride and come to an old rival for help."

"I would have gotten on my knees and begged Spencer if he hadn't wanted to come." She answered, letting out a long sigh. "With the work I do, I learned a long time ago to let go of my dignity."

Riley was curious. "What do you do?"

"Uh… well…" She seemed reluctant to say, especially in front of her children. "I'm a waitress… at a gentleman only club in the city. It's not like a strip club or anything, just a kind of country club for men… in a sense."

"Where the waitresses wear really short black skirts and the more you flirt, the better tips you make?" Riley wondered.

Alexa swallowed nervously. "Yeah… it's good money."

"Yeah, I know, I worked at a place like that in Boston when I was in school." She explained with a partial smile. "I didn't get any kind of scholarship and student loans only go so far, especially at Harvard. And you're right, those places pay pretty well and you can get a lot of tips, but they are not high on a woman's dignity."

"I never knew that." JJ smirked as she turned to her. "Does Reid know you worked there?"

"Yes, he knows, and it's not a big deal. It's not like I was pole dancing." Riley exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Alexa cried. "I realize it's not the most prestigious place to work, but people do tend to look down on you when you work in a place like that."

"I know," Riley agreed. "People were a little more understanding since I was a college student, but my roommate was this prissy little thing with about three trust funds. She made snide comments every chance she got."

Alexa chuckled, completely able to relate. "You should hear what my sister-in-law says to me. And John's even worse. I'd never say this to him because he'd just get… mad… but I don't think he has any right to judge, at least I have a job. I'm the one bringing in the money and keeping us off of Welfare. He acts like I'm dishonoring the family name just because I tell some fat cat banker he looks awfully good in his new suit."

The two girls laughed again along with JJ. As lighthearted as their conversation was, Riley couldn't help but feel guilty. Alexa wasn't anything she expected. She was kind and friendly and, as much as she wanted to, there wasn't a bit of malice about her. Had she not heard of this woman before, Riley would never suspect who she was two decades ago. She hated to admit it, but Riley couldn't help but like her. Hopefully, Spencer would never find out.

"There you are!" Harper exclaimed, hurrying into the break room. "We were wondering what the hell happened to you." She stopped abruptly, seeing Alexa in mid conversation with the two strangers. "Why wasn't I invited to the party?" She asked sullenly.

"It's not a party, we're just talking." Alexa grumbled. "Did you need me for something?"

"John wanted to know where you are. I told him he should just fit you with that tracking device already, save me an awful lot of time." She thought her joke was funny and laughed a little too hard. She spotted there were no open seats at the table, but wouldn't be denied being left out of the group.

Practically shoving Alexa over, she moved to share the seat with her friend. "So, does this constitute for a coffee break in the FBI or are you girls just slacking off?"

"This is part of our job, actually." JJ explained. "We speak with the family members and we learn more about our victims. It helps create a profile."

"Oh, okay," Harper laughed, her giggles loud and shrill, "Lexi can tell you how using Snuggle fabric softner keeps the delicate balance of our family together. That should tell you that Peter's murderer was Jeffery Dahmer's little brother."

Alexa squeezed her eyes shut, as if those words caused her physical pain. Penny suddenly looked up from the artistic masterpiece that was her second sandwich. She was smart as a whip for a girl her age, thirsty for knowledge at every turn.

"Mommy, what's a mur-der-er?" She wondered.

Furious, Alexa sat up and gave a furious expression to her sister-in-law. "Thank you, Harper. Are there any other choice words you'd like to teach my six-year-old?"

Before Penny could ask again and get upset about being ignored, Meredith looked up. "It's a fancy word for a certain kind of monster, kiddo. That's all." Impressive how she could sugar coat the truth without having to lie.

"Then why is Mommy so upset?" She asked, looking to her mother in worry.

Not even realizing it, Riley's instincts kicked in. She reached over to put her hand on Penny's tiny one, not even bothered by the stickiness. "You're mommy just misses your brother so much, Sweetheart, that's all."

"Oh," She replied, squishing her free hand into her food. "He'll be home real soon, Mama, don't worry."

That made Alexa want to cry more, her eyes looking to the ceiling for the strength to keep from breaking down.

Harper gave her a hard nudge, saying in a harsh whisper, "Just tell her the truth, it's going to be harder later."

Riley, however, knew a better approach to handle this. "How do you know he's coming back soon, Penny?"

Without much thought, she answered in a dreamy voice. "I just know…"

"This is ridiculous; she can't just think good things are always going to happen. She needs to know the truth." Harper griped.

Alexa turned and hissed at her, "Maybe she does, but I am not having that conversation with her right now."

"Fine, Chicken, I'll tell her!" She said, mocking Alexa in a raspy voice. Turning to the little girl, she opened her mouth. "Penny, the thing is-"

"The thing is Peter is very lucky to have two sisters who miss him so much." Riley interrupted, glaring at the woman with the long raven hair, shining against her pale skin, giving the impression she was some kind of evil stepmother from fairy tales. "And a whole family of people who wouldn't dare scar a young soul for life by blurting out a hard truth without any kind of compassion."

Harper's eyes turned to slits, matching Riley's narrow gaze. She backed off, though, folding her arms out of frustration. She didn't say another word.

Riley gave Penny's hand one more squeeze before pulling away, quickly grabbing a napkin to wipe off her hand. She sensed someone was staring at her and turned to see JJ's somewhat smug expression.

"What?" Riley whispered, barely audible. "I'm a psychiatrist; I know how to connect with people. Of all ages."

"Yeah," She mumbled with a nod. "That must be it."

It seemed their pleasant conversation had come to a shattered end. Meredith had completely given up on her food, pushing the plate away to return to her dog-eared book. Penny continued her sculpting of the jelly and peanut butter, making a great mess in the process. The four grown women, however, sat in awkward silence, wondering what to do or say next.

Reid walked in then. He spotted the scene was instantly bothered. "Hey…" He mumbled slowly, grabbing everyone's attention. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, perfect timing." Riley said as she stood out of her chair to greet him. "We were just talking to Alexa a bit, how are things on your end?"

"Fine," He said vaguely, though she could tell it wasn't going anywhere at all. "So you were… just talking with her?"

She could hear the sense of betrayal in his voice. "Yes," She answered. "You know, like Hotch asked us to."

"Spencer," Alexa said warily as she, too, got to her feet. "I didn't get a chance to say hello to you this morning. Are taking a break?"

"It would appear," He stated, his tone sharp and cold. His eyes turned to Riley. "I'm just grabbing some coffee, I need to keep my energy up."

Riley went to respond, but Alexa beat her to it. "Would you like to take your break in here? We'd love to sit down and talk for a few minutes… catch up a little."

He wanted to lash out at her, tell her to shut up and return to sludge she and her friends had climbed out of. His only restraint was he wouldn't act like that in front of her children, the two girls he had already grown rather fond of. They were both sweet, unique girls who had a lot of love and care in their hearts. Not in the least like their mother, as he had noted.

He placed a kiss on Riley's forehead and, without a word or even an acknowledging look in Alexa's direction, he went to the coffee pot, grabbing a mug and searching for the sugar.

"I'm beginning to think you girls are trying to ditch us!" Jeremy Bundle exclaimed as he stepped into the quickly overcrowding room. A step behind was a very sullen John Hillman, eyeing his wife suspiciously. The Bundles may be taking this lightly, but neither John nor Alexa were letting their guard down about this for the most part.

"I tracked her down for you," Harper teased standing up to greet her husband, pulling him into a much too inappropriate kiss for the time and place. Reid spotted this as he glanced over his shoulder, quickly looking away before he lost what was left in his stomach.

Jeremy took Alexa's former seat, pulling Harper to sit in his lap. Riley observed, noticing how much the two looked like her and Spencer… only there was a difference. These two seemed to act like stupid teenagers trying to get as close as possible while any indecent exposure. When Riley sat on Spencer's lap, it wasn't the same. They were two people in love and so connected to each other, they were comfortable enough to be that close. Amazing what little details could say about who a person – or in this case, two people – were.

"Where have you been?" John said, pushing past both JJ and Riley to get to his wife. "You left over a half hour ago, how long does it take to feed them?"

She didn't like him referring to their children like that, as if they were two dogs needing their dinner. "What's the rush, it's not like we have anywhere to be."

"She has a point." Harper muttered. "We are stuck in this purgatory for awhile, aren't we?"

"Good waste of a Saturday," Jeremy added. His eyes had been on Reid for awhile, who was slowly stirring a spoon in his drink. "Does it take you five minutes to fix a cup of coffee or are you just eavesdropping?"

His temper was getting harder to control. "I would eavesdrop if there was anything worth listening to." Reid said as he turned around, his eyes so chilling, Riley was sure he could literally pierce someone with his stare. He moved to his wife. "I probably should get back to work. How are you feeling?"

Despite her lack of appetite, she wasn't feeling nearly as sick as a few hours ago. "Not too bad, I haven't been nauseous in awhile."

"Are you sure?" He questioned, unconvinced. "You still look awfully sick, or are you just worried about something."

"Well, I'm not," She said, backing away a bit, so afraid she was going to let the truth slip out. "I just… I have a headache, that's all."

"Probably because you haven't had coffee in three days." Reid teased, not even noticing his four hated enemies were staring at him. He barely noticed anything when she was in the room. "If you're feeling better, you should have a cup."

"Uh…" Riley's eyes landed on the coffee pot. She breathed in the smell and realized it, in fact, did not make her sick today. Suddenly, she found herself longing for a huge mug of it, fixed with just the right amount of cream and sugar, so strong, it could melt through steel. She wanted it and that was the truth.

Something wouldn't let her have it, though. Riley eyed the pot of black liquid, beckoning her with silent cries to come and have a mug of that delicious drug she hadn't experienced since Thursday morning… but it was like some kind of force was keeping her back, telling her she couldn't couldn't have it, no matter how badly she may want a hot, steamy cup. Things were different now.

"No… I don't want any." She answered, forcing a smile.

That was strange. "You don't want any coffee?" Reid asked, stunned and amazed. "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

It came out as a joke, but Riley's nerves were frayed and split and teetering on the edge. His little comment pushed her over. "Excuse me? Spencer, I do have a mind of my own! I don't want any coffee, I don't need any caffeine, okay? So just… stop being so demanding and acting like you know everything! Just drop it!"

And with that, she once again ran from her problem, hurrying away from the crowd. Reid was shocked, watching her in awe as she rushed away. Something was definitely bothering her.

Bewildered, he looked to JJ who immediately avoided his eyes. That was a tell. Whatever was going on, JJ knew, too, and she was keeping it from him. Unable to help himself, he looked at the reactions of the crowd.

The only understanding expression was Alexa, who seemed willing to offer him support and empathy. The Bundles were stifling their laughter a bit, not having the courage to look at him. Lastly, he looked up to see John's eyes, almost glowing with glee.

"Trouble in paradise?" He asked, a smirk spreading across his face.

"Looks like Little Mr. Know-it-All even gets on the nerves of Little Mrs. Know-it-All." Harper giggled.

"Can you just imagine how messed up their sex life must be?" Jeremy laughed loudly, caring not for anything but his own amusement. "I'd pay to see that."

To finish off, Harper added. "It wouldn't be worth it. Something tells me there wouldn't be much to see."

Reid felt his face turning red. He wanted to retaliate, but he couldn't say a word. He felt like a little boy again with no ability to speak up for himself. His eyes on the floor, he took his coffee and rushed off, their cruel laughter following him out of the room, knowing they had won.

Their giggles burned JJ's ears and she ran to stop him. "Spence," She soothed, putting a hand on his arm.

He shrugged her off, continuing on his way back to work. He needed to be alone.

Anger boiled in her like she'd never felt before. JJ turned and headed back to the break room. Those people were not going to get away with this.

"You know," She said, loud enough for anyone in the main room of the precinct to hear. In fact, many officers stopped to listen. "I almost feel sorry for all of you. It must be incredibly painful to live with a life so boring, you need to dig up twenty year old history to bully a grown man in order to feel good about yourselves. Then again, perhaps I should have sympathy for you seeing as how you peaked in high school. It must be unbelieving frustrating to see everyone around you moving on and shining in the world when you're the same pathetic losers you always were."

There was a chilling silence through most of the room, and it was almost as satisfying as applause. John and the Bundles gaped at her a moment, never expecting to be told off like that. Apparently, no one had ever done that before.

"How dare you speak to us like that?" Harper asked.

"Uh," Alexa spoke up, and JJ noticed she was the one hiding her laughter now. "I'd better get my daughters cleaned up, can you tell me where the restroom is, Agent Jareau?"

She knew Alexa had said that in order to get her out of the line of fire. "Allow me to show you." She said, never showing fear by tearing her eyes away. Alexa hurried over to help Penny out of her chair, tossing her indiscernible replicas of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the trash. Meredith, not wanting to be left behind with these people, tossed her garbage and grabbed her book and followed her mother out of the room.

"Oh," JJ said, turning around. "And for your information, Mrs. Bundle, Jeffery Dahmer's little brother David leads a normal life and has never committed any crime. Just another reminder you shouldn't judge someone without getting to know them."

And with that, she stepped confidently and casually out of the room, rather satisfied with herself. The only thing that could have made it better were if Reid had been there to see it, to know his friends always had his back.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry, I know this one was kind of long, but I've been ignoring my stories for days. Between work, I've been busy trying to finish a few knitting projects and as soon as I finished my last one last night, I had a huge surge of inspiration. I love the reviews I've been getting on this, they're so sweet, believe me I wish I had time to respond to them all. Not too sure if you guys will like where this path goes, but I think you'll like the outcome just the same. Lots of exciting stuff coming up, (I mean, come on, nobody's life has been threatened yet, it's not my story unless someone almost dies.) Please keep reviewing, reading them makes writing these so much more worth while! :)


	15. Piece of the Puzzle

The corridor was empty as JJ led Alexa and her daughters to the Ladies' Room. "Thanks for that back there, the last thing I needed was to get into some heated argument, say something rude and get reported to my boss."

"He'd understand, wouldn't he?" Alexa asked. "From what I can tell, he really looks out for his team."

"Yes, but it's still protocol to report a person when a complaint is made." JJ explained. "Agent Hotchner takes his job very seriously, he tries to toe the line as much as possible so when the time comes and we have to break the rules… we might get a bit of leeway.

Alexa was struggling to lead her youngest down the hall, holding her by her wrists to keep her sticky fingers from smudging the walls. Meredith was five steps behind, as if to pretend she wasn't welcomed in the group. They stepped slowly, taking twice the normal time to get there. It gave them time to talk.

"I'm certainly glad you said something to them." She uttered. "They're intimidating people and they know it. They use it to hurt people who make them feel inferior. It's nice to see someone put them in their place for a change."

"I couldn't let them get away with that." JJ said with a fierce scowl. "They had no right to say that to him. It's understandable for a person to retort to a former personality when interacting with people from the past. He could have told them off if he wanted to, believe me, he's a lot stronger and braver than he first appears."

Just shy of the swinging doors, Alexa stopped, giving JJ a significant expression. "It sounds like you really care about him."

Stepping over, she held the restroom door open to allow the three to enter. Safe inside, she followed suit. Her voice echoing much louder in this much too bright room. "I do. I've known Spence for a very long time, he's one of my best friends. You say he's changed a lot in twenty years… well, I think a lot of that change took place in the last nine."

Alexa turned on the water in one sink, putting her hand under to test the temperature. "How so?"

"Spence hadn't been working here much longer than me," She said, "When I first met him… he was very timid. He was so deep in his shell, no one would guess there was something more in there. Except me… I saw this kid who spoke so fast and knew so much, yet had so little… I don't know, I guess I felt like it was my place to look after him. He doesn't particularly need me anymore, but he's a great man and a wonderful friend."

As she spoke, she watched Alexa finish adjusting the water, satisfied with the heat. Then, she reached down to lift her daughter up enough to access the sink. She squirted some fresh scented soap into her tiny hands and watched the little girl develop a lather.

"Who says men and women can't be friends?" She said, glancing at her.

"Exactly," JJ said with a light laugh.

A rip sounded from the roll of paper towels and Meredith quickly dried her hands. "I'm done, can I go?"

"Where are you going to go?" Alexa wondered, struggling to keep up the weight of the child, dousing her hands in so many bubbles, they were creeping up her arm.

"I don't know, just somewhere quiet, everyone's driving me crazy!" She cried, obviously flustered. "I'm tired of babysitting and I can't read one sentence with Aunt Harper, she has to keep bugging me! Every five seconds, her shrill voice has another derogatory remark. If you make me sit near her again today, I just might kill her, Mother!"

"Sweetie, I don't want you wandering off in the police station." Alexa urged. "I've already lost one baby, I don't need another."

"Yes, what a shame that would be." Meredith mumbled resentfully, folding her arms.

"You know, Meredith," JJ interrupted, looking quizzically. "If you want someplace quiet to read, why don't you ask Dr. Reid if you can sit in the conference room. He won't bother you, just tell him Agent Jareau suggested it."

She seemed rather pleased by that, trying to hide her smile. "Okay… I'll ask him." Without any objection, she headed out of the bathroom, an extra spring in her step.

"Are you sure Spencer won't mind?" Alexa nervously asked. "I'd hate to be more of a burden to him."

"Nonsense, he loves kids." JJ noted. "And, from what I heard, he enjoyed speaking to your daughters."

"I told you he was nice, Mama." Penny said, still playing with the suds.

"Alright, Bubbles, rinse your hands." She laughed, shaking her head. She adjusted Penny again, keeping her in reach of the water before turning back to JJ. "Maybe I can tell Meredith my feelings to pass it on to him, it might be the only way he'll listen to me."

JJ shook her head. "No, trust me, that's a bad idea. It would hurt him, as if to say you feel he's not worth your time. If you're interested in talking to him… you just have to keep pressing until he breaks down. He might yell, he might say some very hurtful things, but once you conquer that barrier… it's very easy to get through to him."

Penny, clean and rinsed, was set back on the ground. They walked over to the paper towels, helping her pull down an obsessive amount to dry her tiny hands.

"You're the second person who says I need to talk to him." Alexa said, leaning against the wall. "What if he won't listen to me?"

"Just keep talking. He's in a lot of pain which he manifests into anger. That can make him intimidating… but you just have to keep talking. Eventually… he will talk back. And before even he realizes it, you'll be in a civil conversation."

She knew Agent Jareau's advice was good, but there was the long bridge between Spencer and Alexa was not only burned, it was still smoldering. Still, though, she wouldn't know if they could repair any damage until she tried.

* * *

><p>Riley was alone, in more ways than one. She stood outside on the steps to the entrance. Her hands were shaking as she dug through her purse, searching… searching… there they were. Her only salvation.<p>

Quickly, she pulled out her secret pack of cigarettes, the ones Spencer turned a blind eye to. He would always lecture her if he saw her smoking and it always broke her heart so much, knowing she should be making more of an effort to have a long, healthy life with him. She made it a point only to smoke when she really needed it, and never in front of him.

She really needed it now. Pulling out a long stick, she fitted it between her pink, moistened lips. The signature smell of the tobacco met her nose. She searched again for her lighter, at last finding it at the very bottom. Expertly flicking on the flame, she raised the lighter to join the cigarette, stopping just short of the opened end.

Just as she had a few minutes ago, Riley was frozen. As if time itself had stopped to keep the woman from making such a horrible and selfish decision. The flame sat there, mocking her, telling her how badly she needed this. She was stressed, she was upset, she wouldn't be able to think things through if she didn't calm down. She longed to feel that soothing flow of nicotine in her lungs, blossoming in every muscle in her body… especially when it was mixed with caffeine.

Once again, she couldn't let herself do it. It didn't matter how she was feeling about this situation, she couldn't let herself smoke. Not right now anyway, and there was nothing that would change her mind. Turning off the lighter, she tossed it back into her purse, removing the smoke from her mouth. Her fingers handled it a moment, sighing with disappointment before snapping it in half and tossing it aside. Leaning on her knees, she covered her face with her hands. Riley would have to concentrate with a sober head.

She couldn't believe what she'd said to Spencer. It had just come out and she hated herself so much for it. If they had been alone, she would have apologized immediately, perhaps even come clean to him. Her mouth tended to run amok when she was upset as well as when she was trying to hide something from him. Maybe he would realize that on his own and have some compassion when she groveled with apologies… or his already wounded self would be furious with her for abandoning him in his time of need. Well, that was what she deserved.

After all… she was thinking of terminating his child.

No matter what anyone was telling her… it was Spencer's child. She couldn't bring herself to say it was hers… that would make this something real and she might not be able to deny she wanted it.

It might be nice, though… a baby. She loved babies, even more than she thought after the video JJ showed her. For just a moment, she tried to picture it, what it would be like. A time in the near future; Spencer with an infant. He would love their baby more than anything. She could see the tiny thing nestled against his chest, asleep while Spencer rocked them both in a chair. Riley could see it very clearly… she just couldn't see herself in the picture.

"Hey," A voice in front of her called urgently.

Riley gasped, jumping a bit at the call. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying, tears coating her face as she looked up, the hot, desert sun burning her eyes. Riley noticed how warm she was, beginning to wish she hadn't worn this sweater today. At last adjusting to the light, she saw Hotch standing before her, returning from his assignment with Rossi.

"Are you alright?" He asked, grabbing her hand to pull her to her feet.

"Uh… no… no, I'm not…" She mumbled, shaking her aching head. She had no control over her emotions, crying uncontrollably. "Aaron…"

He let her fall into his arms, holding her against him as she wept on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" He asked, worried. "Did something happen?"

"No," She answered, her tears dripping into his well pressed suit. "I'm just… the worst wife in the world."

"No, you're not," He assured, patting her back warmly.

Rossi watched with great alarm. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

Hotch looked over at Rossi, deciding it might not be a bad idea to enlighten him on the situation. He could use an alley to talk some sense into her. Leaning closer and lowering his voice, he said "Riley just found out she's pregnant."

His face lit up with delight, just as the girls had when they first considered the idea. "Oh my God, that's wonderful! Have you told Reid?"

"No," She moaned, pulling away from Hotch and wiping the streams from her eyes.

Rossi paused, hiding his laugh with a cough. "Uh… should you?"

She gave him a cold glare, not amused by his joke. As if it could be anyone's but her husband's. Hotch quickly stepped in, unwilling to let the already hysterical girl become even more upset. "Okay, what happened?"

Taking several deep breaths, Riley focused on her words coming out intelligibly, not jumbled together in her fit of frenzy. "I just… I yelled at Spencer for… absolutely nothing, all because I'm upset over this and I don't know what to do. And I did it right in front of his old classmates. I'm the worst wife ever. Ever."

"No, you're not!" Hotch insisted, brushing her arm. "It's understandable you're a little on edge right now, you just need to calm down. It's not good in your condition."

"Don't remind me about my… condition." She groaned.

"I don't understand, what are you so confused about?" Rossi wondered. "You just found out you're having a baby, the thinking through is pretty minimal at this point."

Before she could answer or, more likely, lose control again, Hotch answered. "Riley's a little unsure about this… she's not sure she wants the baby. And until she comes to a conclusion, she can't tell Reid."

Riley waited for the ridicule. The cry of shock, the protest that she not wanting the child is abnormal. Just because she was married to the man she loved did not make her want to become some breeding machine.

After a long pause, he replied, "Well, it is her decision. Reid may be her husband, but he doesn't technically get a say. If Riley chooses she doesn't want a baby, she doesn't have to have it."

In amazement, Riley turned to him. She couldn't believe she finally had someone on her side.

Before she could thank him for the support, he continued, speaking all too smoothly. "I mean, this is a real life changing decision for a woman. Why should she have to go through it if she doesn't want to? Why should she get fat and stretch out her body, have to go through all those hours of pain? And then it's at least 18 years of her life raising the thing and after that, it's never really out of her life. She might even get attached to it."

Her happiness immediately faded. She didn't take kindly to being manipulated. "Thanks for making fun of me. That's not why I'm struggling with this, Dave."

He looked at her with a tilt of his head and an amused smile. "Then why are you?"

It seemed too narcissistic to say she was protecting the baby and Spencer from herself and what she would become. All she could manage was answering, "It's more complicated than that."

"Then you need to talk to Reid." Hotch said. "He's your husband, you chose to spend your life with him. You and he are in this together… this might not seem so terrible once you see you're not alone."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "Fine… I'll tell him… that doesn't mean I know what I'm going to do, but I will tell him before I decide. After the case, when we get home… I'll sit him down and we'll… talk this out."

"Atta girl." Rossi noted, patting her on her shoulder. "It'll be okay, just like always."

"Yeah," She mumbled, leaning on Hotch again as he put his arm around her. "Is it sad I'd rather be chased in the woods by an unsub again than have to deal with this?"

"A little bit," Hotch told her while giving her a comforting squeeze. Riley felt a little stronger with Hotch's support, and now Rossi's… she could only hope Reid would be the same way. She needed that more than anything.

* * *

><p>Nothing was making sense. Reid had returned to work after his emasculation in the break room. Diving right back into the case was the perfect way to clear his head, to use his brain powers and feel like himself again. Only things weren't going so well in here. He reviewed all the files of the missing boys, especially involving twins. He had a feeling they were on the right track about that. The logic of this case was simple. If Peter was the first real victim of an unsub, the killer hadn't struck again yet. Therefore, he wasn't considered a serial killer and, therefore, there was no way they could make a profile.<p>

Reid, however, couldn't accept that. He knew there was a clue among these boys that could lead him to Peter's killer. It was staring him in the face and either he was too distraught to see it right now or it was too subtle for him to connect quickly.

He needed to think in a less conventional matter. Reid removed each picture from the boys file and moved to sit on the floor, Indian style. His eyes were intense and clouded as he let his mind do the work, making the connections in his minds eye. Garcia most likely could do the same thing for him, but it was just faster doing it this way..

"Uh…" A shy voice said from outside the area, breaking his concentration. "Dr. Reid?"

Reid looked up to see Meredith Hillman staring nervously at him, her book clutched in hand. "Meredith… is something wrong? Do you need something?"

"Uh… I uh, was looking for some place quiet to read." She explained. "Agent Jareau said I might be able to read in here… if I'm quiet…"

"Oh," He responded, and saw her breathe with ease as he gave her a smile. "That's perfectly fine. Sit anywhere you like."

She would have gone straight to the table and buried herself in the pages once again, but was much too intrigued by this set up, Reid sitting on the floor like her younger siblings would. Without any trepidation, Meredith stepped over to the mess of young boys' photos spread out beneath the man. "What are you doing?" She asked, sitting on the outside of the circle, mirroring him.

"These are boys are around your brother's age who have disappeared from a few days ago to a year." He explained. "Some of just single boys, others are twins and others are just from a set of twins. I'm trying to determine if any of these cases have some kind of connection to your brother's."

Meredith wasn't sure if she should disturb his mess. She reached for a picture of a young dark skinned boy, smiling happily, wearing a prestigious school uniform. He couldn't have been in any less than third grade. "It's so depressing… he looks so happy here… they all do. Their families had no idea he was going to disappear." She said, glancing at Reid. "I feel like that every time I look at a picture of Peter… it got to the point last week I went around the house and took down every photo that had him in it, I just couldn't look at them anymore knowing he's dead." Her eyes scanned the pile. "Are all these boys dead?"

Meredith was a very strong girl; Reid felt no reason to hide the truth from her. "Most likely. Kidnapped children are usually killed within the first 24 hours. Sometimes, it's a few days and we've even been lucky and found them after a week or two. A few years ago, we even found a group of gypsies responsible for kidnapping young girls. The mother of the family was kidnapped in the same way back in the seventies."

"Whoa," She said, amazed. "This stuff is… sick and twisted."

With a famous Reid half smile, he nodded, "Very twisted, and the sickest part is, a lot of this stuff I've gotten used to."

"Wow," She twitted. "I've got to say, though, this seems like an awful lot of effort just to find a body. I mean, my mom said you hunt down serial killers, shouldn't some cold case detectives work on this?"

Reid was impressed. "You know a lot about this stuff."

"I read." She mentioned.

He clarified his reason for being here. "I told you before, your mother asked me to come. She's at her wits end trying to find your brother… and your brother could be connected to other kidnappings, other murders. We could stop an unsub before he gets out of hand and a lot more lives are lost."

"You mean unknown subject?" She asked, fascinated.

"Yes," He answered with surprise. "You know what that means?"

"I read it in book series a few months ago, I thought it was something the author made up!" Meredith exclaimed. "It's really interesting all this stuff… minus the dead boys and killers, of course. So, what are doing with all this?"

"I'm looking for something." He explained, looking to the pictures, focused on the thousands of groupings he hadn't tried yet. "I'm hoping, by adjusting and creating different combinations of boys… I might be able to find a connection between certain kidnappings and your brother's."

Meredith was still holding the one picture, turning to look at the white back. There was nothing there. No writing, no date… just a blank space. Confused, she grabbed another picture, this time a little Asian boy with spiked up hair, no doubt an attempt to look cool on picture day. Just like the first one, the back of the photo was blank.

"Um…" She mentioned. "How do you know which boy is which?"

"Oh, I know," Reid said, very casually. He barely heard her, so focused on each face. He was starting to lose confidence. None of this was working.

"Yeah, but… you don't know their cases or… if they connect. It's just a bunch of pictures." She complained. "I don't understand how this will work, isn't this just… profiling?"

"Exactly, that's what I do." He said, looking up.

"No, I mean… you're judging them by their looks. It doesn't seem like enough." Meredith argued. "How do you know what case connects to which, if they connect at all! This seems like stupid guess work."

Reid announced with absolute certainty. "I have eidetic memory. I know every single detail of every single case. I know how each boy disappeared, if they were ever found, where they found, how long they were gone. I know their parents, their families, the last thing they did before they went missing. I can tell them apart just by looking at them."

A bit taken aback, Meredith gently set the photo back down. "What are you, some kind of… uber genius or something the FBI created?"

That was an interesting if not derogatory term. "I am a genius." He explained a bit cooly. "I have an IQ of 187, I read 20,000 words per minute… I graduated high school when I was 12."

She was instantly struck with an epiphany. "Oh… that's why Daddy and the others hate you so much."

"Yeah," He grumbled, looking back to his work. If she was just going to rip open these wounds, he would rather she just leave.

He pretended to be too focused on his work to talk to her, too afraid of what she would say or ask if he looked up. He couldn't say with certainty what Meredith was thinking and she'd most likely be offended if he insulted a member of her family, accidentally or not.

"I'm really sorry about what they said to you before." Meredith spoke softly, her voice dripping with sympathy. Well, that was better than ridicule.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." He answered with a shake of his head. "But thank you."

"If it makes you feel any better, they talk to me like that all the time." She added. She spoke so easily about it, like it was completely normal. "They think they're so damn funny."

Reid was shocked. It was one thing to treat him like that when they were young, even now he could let it go. What did it really matter if they made fun of him? After this case, he'd never see them again if the odds were in his favor. But they were adults. Not only was Meredith just a little girl, but she was their family.

"That's despicable." Reid stated, appalled. "They're adults, Meredith, they're supposed to know better."

She shrugged. "I know I'm different… if it really bothered me, I'd make an effort to change."

"You shouldn't have to." Reid argued. "You're a wonderful, beautiful girl just by being who you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. The world would be a much better place if people were more like you. The only criticism I can say about you is you shouldn't let those people walk all over you."

She shrugged. "I guess not."

"Meredith," Reid sternly ordered. She wouldn't look at him and he reached over to grab her hand. It brought her gaze to his. "Meredith, promise me right now the next time they talk to you like that, you won't let them get away with it. You'll tell them you're a good, kind person, that you're perfect just the way you are and they have no right to make fun of you for that."

"You didn't stand up to them, either." She said bitterly. He had no right to lecture her.

He gently pulled his hand away. She was right, he should have. But then again, he hadn't seen them in twenty years. This had come so unexpectedly. Yesterday morning, he woke up with only the concern his wife was coming down with the flu and now he was hemoragging from all these reopened wounds. "You're right," He answered. "So you should learn from my mistake. You should know, it's not your fault they treat you like that. Your mother should be speaking up for you."

"Please, Dr. Reid, she can't even speak up for herself." Meredith muttered, rolling her eyes.

At that, Reid looked at her, stunned. "What do you mean?"

"They treat her worse than they do me and the twins." She confessed. "I don't understand why she keeps letting it happen. She doesn't know this, but… my room is right next to hers. I hear her cry herself to sleep every night she's alone… which is a lot. I suspect when my dad is there, she's just real quiet about it."

He never would have guessed. Alexa was so connected to them in high school. Now she was miserable? It didn't make any sense. Maybe he misjudged her… maybe she had changed.

Reid, always too stubborn to let a grudge go, wouldn't accept that right away. His eyes landed on the photographs again, not really looking at them at all.

That's when it happened. His mind, at last, fit the right pieces together, getting a real picture of this dark puzzle.

He could see it perfectly, it amazed him he couldn't find the answer before. "Oh my gosh," he whispered and quickly gathered every photo.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked.

Reid put the pictures into a pile and started to sift through them. Most of them were useless, tossing them in Meredith's lap to be discarded. Specific ones popped out at him, which he lay on the carpet in a row, each boy looking right up at him.

"What are you doing?" She wondered. Meredith arranged each picture she received in a neat order.

Reid didn't answer, just kept separating the kids. At last, six separate boys sat in perfect line before the brilliant man, including the picture Meredith had held earlier and Peter Hillman.

"I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." He exclaimed. The profile was forming in his mind like a cake baking in the oven, and it appeared Peter was only the most recent victim in a line of poor little boys.

As he pulled himself to his feet, he held out a hand to help the young girl up. "Meredith, where are your parents?"

"I think they're still in the kitchen, why?" She wondered, nervous.

"I need you to do me a favor." He requested. "I need you to go find Agent Jareau and tell her the BAU team needs to gather in the conference room immediately."

"Sure," Meredith nodded. She looked at row of six, unable to see what he did. She handed the rest back to him before hurrying off. Just before she stepped out, she glanced over her shoulder, watching Dr. Reid as he cleared the table of files and papers. This man was something else.

A moment later, Reid hurried out of the room. It might be too soon to say this, and probably an hour ago he wouldn't even have cared to say until he was certain… but perhaps his opinion of Alexa was changing. He had to tell her immediately. False hope was better than none sometimes.

Stepping into the break room, Reid found the familiar foursome seated around the table. This was a bit too familiar of being back in high school, seeing them positioned around the one table everyone longed to be welcomed at. While he usually sat alone, feeling people throw food and empty cartons at him. After a few months, he wised up and started eating his lunch in the handicap stall in the Men's Room. He'd rather risk bacterial infection than endure being a sideshow spectacle.

Their conversation came to an immediate halt. Jeremy looked at him curiously, smirking. "Did you finally think of a comeback?"

"A half hour, that's not much of a genius." Harper added.

It didn't bother him. "Alexa, I'd like to speak to you and your husband in private, please."

Alexa had been sitting in silence, staring at the floor while the other three carried the conversation, Penny's head was on her shoulder. The poor little girl looked ready for an afternoon nap. She waited with interest as he walked in, gasping a stuttering breath when he asked for her. Something about his voice told her he had some kind of news… it couldn't be good.

"Harper, would you watch her?" She asked, getting to her feet.

Harper rolled her eyes, but didn't complain as she nodded. Penny did not like the idea of being left here, but she was too tired to argue. Alexa went to hurry after Reid, looking back at the other three, all immobile. This was not worth their time.

"John," She said urgently. "Are you coming? This is about our son."

In a perfect imitation of his sister, John rolled his eyes, begrudgingly getting out of his chair. He flashed an annoyed look at his friends, still finding this whole investigation a waste of time.

Reid stopped a distance from the break room. Alexa and John walked with him in silence, keeping a few steps distance from each other. They couldn't even stand being this close together.

Neither said a word, not even sure if they wanted to hear this. Alexa waited, that shadow clutching on her heart to hear the truth she'd dreaded for all but two months now.

"I think your son might still be alive." He stated as bluntly as could be, watching their respective expressions of fear and anger turn to identical shock.


	16. Twinless Twin

"That can't be true." John muttered, backing away a bit, removing temptation to punch this man who couldn't leave well enough alone.

"I don't have proof yet, it is a theory." Reid said, looking between the two parents. "I've tracked enough killers, though, to know they follow a pattern, and if our kidnapper is following his timeline… Peter may still be alive."

"Oh my God," Alexa moaned, covering her mouth. Her eyes fell closed as tears spilled forth. She didn't want to believe it might be true until she was certain… but she couldn't help it, just the thought she might hold her baby again.

"Pattern, what the hell are you talking about?" John yelled, not nearly as willing to accept this as his wife. "Is this really what you do, read over papers and look for clues like your Sherlock Fricken Holmes? This is a load of crap, give me something better than a god damn theory."

Reid swallowed his temper, gritting his teeth before he answered. "It's difficult to explain. I need to discuss it with my team. Come into the conference area, I can describe it in detail."

Alexa was more than willing to follow, but John took her arm. "Look, this wouldn't be the first time my wife has fallen for someone's stupid scheme. I can't tell you how many psychics she's called over the years, how many easy money schemes she's gotten us into. So how do we know you're not using her grief to get back at us for putting you in your place in all those times?"

Reid was disgusted. This man actually believed he would use a child for his own retribution. He wanted to tell him off, to say something cruel and insulting to make himself feel superior for once. Maybe then he could get them to listen. He couldn't bring himself to do it, cowering slightly as he hung his head a moment, then he cleared his throat to speak calmly.

"I don't know what I can say to convince you." Reid informed. "I'm about to explain it to my team. You may not trust me, but even you know I wouldn't bring it to my team unless I believed it's possible."

"He has a point, John." Alexa argued. "Let's just… listen to him."

He glared at his wife and his hand twitched. For a split second, Reid was about to step between them, thinking John was going to hit her. But he didn't, and John backed off.

"If this is nothing but a load of bull, we're taking the girls and we're leaving. Do you understand me?" John asked.

Alexa wanted to say no, that he could leave now if he wasn't as interested in finding Peter as she was, especially if there was a chance he might have survived, but she hung her head and nodded. She couldn't stand up to him either.

"Jeremy and Harper get to sit in on it, too." He said, looking to Reid with way too much command in his voice.

He was taken aback, forgetting to speak at first. "They don't need to be a part of this."

"Oh, what's the matter, the big strong FBI man is afwaid?" He asked in an obvious baby voice. "I'm sure you're little girlfriend will back you up if you get upset again."

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my wife." Reid corrected. He wasn't sure what he wanted more, to hang onto his temper or let it go and finally have the courage to strike this guy, as he always wanted to do as a child.

"I don't mean her, I mean that blonde number who thinks she's so damn tough." John corrected. "Does your wife know you're screwing her or is the misses just a bitch by nature."

"Don't you dare talk about my wife like that." Reid ordered, taking a step closer to him. It was the first time in his life he was actually taking a stand to this man. "Just because you don't respect your wife doesn't mean I don't. I would never do anything to hurt her, she's upset for her own reasons, it has nothing to do with us. I better not hear you talk about her like that again."

John let out a laugh, but backed away. "Whatever… numb nuts."

Reid glared at him as he stepped off. How dare he speak about Riley like that, he felt his limbs shaking in fury. They could insult him all they wanted, but when it came to her…

"I'm sorry," Alexa said. "John… he just…"

"Don't defend him to me." Reid turned his anger to her, though it fell a considerable degree. "Be in the conference room in three minutes or I'm starting without you."

"Yes, sir," She uttered, like some meak intern in the unit would respond. As she began to walk away, Reid turned, calling back to her.

"Alexa…" She stopped in her tracks, looking back at him in trepidation. "What did your husband mean? What did Agent Jareau say to him?"

"She uh…" She couldn't help but smile. "She just put him and the others in their place, something people should have been doing a long time ago."

With a half smile, Alexa hurried after her husband. Reid couldn't help but grin faintly, glancing at the conference area where his team was gathering. What would he do without these people?

Just before he started over to join them, he felt a tug on his arm. Turning, Reid came face to face with Riley. He knew that look. She wanted to apologize, but it hurt to think his friends were being more supportive than the woman he was sharing his life with.

"Hi," She said softly. "Can I talk to you?"

"You don't have to say it." He said coolly. "I know… you're stressed. I understand _you're_ going through a tough time."

He was angry, as she had anticipated. If he knew the truth, she knew he wouldn't talk to her like that. She was in fact going through a tough time, in a full body ache from trying to deal with this life changing decision. She was feeling nauseas and lightheaded again. Her stomach felt like she had guppies swimming inside her… was that because of nerves… or because… of…

"Spencer, we need to talk." She managed to say. "It's important."

He turned fully, giving her a shrug. It was apparent he wasn't that interested. "What is it?"

"Not here," She shook her head. "I'm sorry I lost my temper, I'm just… I wasn't thinking straight. We needed to have a long discussion when we get home."

"Why can't you just tell me now?" He complained. Honestly, how bad could it be?

"Because it's serious." Riley explained. "Look, we'll talk about it when we get home… or better yet, when we get to the hotel tonight." Riley wasn't so sure she could last until Quantico. "It's just… it's something important and I can't… deal with it without you."

"Well, you might have to." Reid muttered. He wasn't quite ready to forgive her yet. "Riley… I can't just push all this aside because you're having some little problem. I know you don't feel well, but that's not an excuse to bite my head off. You humiliated me, in front of the four people who made my life a living Hell."

"I know," She answered. "And I feel horrible for that, if I could take it back-"

"You can't." Reid interrupted. "It's not fair, Riley. I'm always there for you when you need me, I've fought for you, I've lied for you, I've protected you… you know I would die for you… and the one time I need you to just be there for me…" He shook his head, looking away from her. One hand ran anxiously through his shortened hair, wishing it were long again. "Whatever, I can handle this myself. I'm sorry about your problem, but you're on your own this time."

Riley felt the sharpest pain in her chest, like Spencer had literally grabbed a knife and plunged it into her heart. Her eyes glistened as she met his; she'd never seen them glow so furiously. For split second, she wanted to just blurt out the truth, but her stubborn instincts were too strong to ignore. "Okay."

Reid hated to cause her pain, but he was angry. He didn't mean most of it, because she had been there for him every time before. He was just deflecting the wrath he wanted to unleash on the others on her… but some of it was true.

"If you want to go back to the hotel, I understand. I'll see you there." Reid said, a little more lightly.

"No," Riley said sternly. "I am here for you, believe it or not… shall we?"

They walked in silence to the conference area. Riley allowed Reid a step ahead, willing herself not to cry. Easier said than done today. They were falling apart already and he didn't even know the truth yet.

* * *

><p>Morgan was feeling a little better. Hopefully, he wouldn't have anymore cramps today. He and Emily had been hitting the workouts pretty hard lately, training for that marathon next month and all. Maybe he was just overdoing it. He'd tell her, when they got to the gym on Monday, they'd better start taking it easy.<p>

They hadn't found much at the Hillman residence, but what they had discovered, they were ready to present to the group. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, mainly just describing what kind of boy Peter was. But, if Reid did have an epiphany as everyone suspected, it might mean a lot when building the profile.

He sat alone at the table for awhile before Emily came in, carrying a cup of what he thought was hot coffee. He wasn't much in the mood for it, but he accepted it anyway, giving her a smile. As he went to take a sip, he took a sniff, backing away a bit.

"What the hell is this?" He asked.

"Oh, it's raspberry and chamomile tea." Emily explained sitting down. "It's supposed to relax your muscles and minimize cramps."

"Hmm," Morgan muttered, taking another whiff. It smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers. "Thanks… where'd you get it?"

"Oh, I always carry a few bags of it in my purse." She explained with a smile. "It helps with… all kinds of cramps."

He let out a laugh, "Well, thank you for looking out for me. I hope our cycles don't link up."

She let out a laugh, stopping herself from touching him just in time. Garcia and JJ were coming into the conference room. Emily was hoping to put this conversation off until they got home. It seemed that wasn't the case. Morgan took immediate notice that Garcia sat in the farthest chair away from him. JJ watched the scene cautiously, anxious to know what was about to happen. She wanted answers just as much.

It was like the girl of many colors hadn't even seen there were others in the room, let alone her favorite person. After a few long tense moments of silence, Morgan spoke up. "Hey, Crazy."

Nothing. Not a word, not even a flinch that she heard. Garcia simply focused on her computer. Emily wanted to call over, to beg her friend not to be mad, and just let them explain, but now was not the time nor the place.

Morgan wouldn't give up easily. "Penelope," he said sternly. "Did I suddenly become so hot, I'm became an eclipse and… you can't look directly at me?"

"Actually, Morgan, an eclipse occurs when an astronomical object is obscured, not necessarily the sun, but it's typically what we see. It has nothing to do with an increased temperature." Reid said as he walked in, Riley right behind him, whose saddened expression did not go unnoticed. "What's going on?"

"Well, Agent Morgan can't seem to take the hint that I have no interest in speaking to him." Garcia explained, flashing Reid a pair of dangerous glowing eyes. "I don't take kindly when my friends lie to me, nor keep secrets. Which reminds me, I'm mad at you as well."

"Keep secrets? Lie, what the hell are you talking about?" Morgan asked, noticing how Emily was contorted like she were the one with the upset stomach.

"I don't know, Derek, maybe your girlfriend can enlighten the truth for you." She snapped, glaring at him before returning to her computer.

Confused, and secretly worried, Reid answered. "Garcia… Morgan doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Oh, really?" She asked with a very dangerous smile, willing shoot poison darts to her eyes. "Well, then, you might want to have a conversation with your wife, because she seems to be under a different impression, that of which Morgan getting down and dirty with his own partner, Agent Prentiss."

"What?" Morgan asked, fear and fury flying all over his face. He turned to Emily, seeing her cringing as if she'd just been struck with a migraine.

"Yeah…" She said, opening her eyes. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Little something you forgot to mention, I think." He responded. Morgan was completely blindsided. He'd never expected to handle this today… or anytime soon, for that matter.

Reid looked at Riley in shock. She was usually so careful at keeping secrets… if she blurted this out, she must have done it on purpose. "You told them?"

"It was an accident." She whispered. "I feel horrible."

"You should," He answered. "What is the matter with you?"

"Spence," JJ urged. Riley was already on edge, this was the last thing she needed right now. "I was there, it really was an accident, it just… came out while we were talking."

"Well, it must have been a pretty intense conversation." He said, shooting his wife another glare. With that, he stepped away to go to the white board. Between the cold war fued between the couple, the death stares coming from Garcia at Morgan and Emily, the room was filled with an unbearable tension. JJ couldn't help but blame herself. She knew Riley had to know at some point, but none of this came out before she brought up the possible pregnancy. It was true to the saying. Ignorance often is bliss.

Reid was hoping Rossi and Hotch would come in next, that way they could get started immediately. Bad luck always followed him around, it seemed, and as he was hanging up the pictures of the six missing boys, he heard the unmistakable chatter of John Hillman and his cronies.

"Alright, let's get this over with." Harper commented, taking the seat beside Garcia. She, who was already in a bad mood, shot the wicked girl a dirty look. How dare she think she had the right to breathe the same air as her, let alone be in this meeting.

"What are they doing here?" Morgan said in a much too obvious loud voice.

Reid turned slowly, "I suggested – to John and Alexa – to sit in on this so I can explain where their son might be."

"Reid… we don't typically allow that." JJ insisted. It was true, though normally because a family was so distraught, they wouldn't want to know what was happening with their child. These people didn't seem to care much for Peter's whereabouts, other than his mother. Mostly, though, she didn't want them to upset her friend. Already, she sensed something bad was about to happen. That was the last thing he needed right now.

"I can understand the parents being here, but as for the Bundles, you don't even need to be at the precinct. Isn't that correct?" Riley pointed out.

"Very true," Emily said bitterly, just as disdained by this as the others. "This isn't information most of you need. I think we can justify Mrs. Hillman being in here, but if your concern is not for Peter-

"I don't care!" Reid cried, "Just… let them stay! I don't want to argue anymore."

He turned back to the board, focusing on the pictures of the boys. His whole body was vibrating with anxiety. He should have thought this through before he invited them.

"Somebody's touchy." Jeremy sniggered.

Morgan sat up, his voice slow and dangerous. "If I were you, I'd keep my mouth shut. All I need is a reason, don't give it to me."

"Is that a threat?" Jeremy asked, not in the least bit intimidated.

"That's a promise." Morgan swore, and leaned back in his chair, appearing relaxed. Emily was the only one who could see his hand resting on his abdomen, just out of sight under the table.

Rossi and Hotch arrived at long last. Their unit chief looked at the family members curiously.

"Reid invited them." JJ enlightened before he could ask. That famous cold and deadly gaze of Aaron Hotchner landed on the group. They may not have been intimidated by Morgan, but that look had powers no one could explain. None of them said a word.

"Very well," Hotch answered, though it was obvious he wasn't thrilled about it, but decided to give Reid a little flexibility. It might be a good thing. "Alright, let's get started. I want to be able to form a profile before dusk, so we need to get down to business. What did we find at the Hillman home?"

"You went into my home?" John asked, outraged. "Damnit, we have rights. You can't just walk into my home. I'm going to have your badges for that!"

"I gave them the key." Alexa explained, attempting to stand her ground. She wasn't doing so well, obviously. "They had my permission."

"We didn't need it, though." Reid said, the only one in the room still standing. "Your son is in what is now a federal investigation. The FBI has every right to be here and your home is considered a crime scene."

"Federal investigation?" Emily voiced. "This has crossed state lines?"

"Yes," Reid nodded. "All the missing boys were taken from Vegas, but some of the bodies were dropped in in Utah. This isn't primarily based in Nevada anymore."

"So there have been other victims?" Rossi questioned.

"Yes," Reid said, feeling in his element again. "It's a subtle pattern, but follows an evolving timeline. A little over a year ago, it started with Lawrence Oliver." He pointed to the first picture on the board, quickly writing two dates beneath it, only a day apart. "He was a six year old who disappeared without a trace while playing in his backyard. His mother was watching him through the kitchen window and, while she turned her back she claimed, he was gone. His body was the next day on a Nevada highway, killed by suffocation."

He moved to the picture Meredith had been holding, writing another pair of dates, just as close together. "Henry Filmore was seven. He disappeared a week after Lawrence was found. He was walking home from school, as he had done on a regular basis for the last year. He, too, died of suffocation and was found within twenty-four hours, still in Nevada."

"So when did he start crossing state lines?" JJ asked, curious.

Everyone watched in amazement the enthusiasm Reid had, something he almost never showed in a children's investigation. Riley couldn't help but glance at the four civilians. Though they tried not to show it, it was clear they were amazed at his intellect. Of course, that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"That happened on the next case." Reid said, going to next picture. "Shin Tachibana, seven-years-old. His parents were Japanese immigrants who lived in San Fransico for a little over seven years before moving to Vegas. Shin disappeared while out shopping with his mother, who didn't know the area very well yet. He was the first boy to lengthen the timeline. He survived over two months before his body was found on a Utah freeway. He died of a broken neck."

"Are we even sure these boys are connected, then?" Rossi wondered, not entirely convinced by Reid's theory.

"Yes, because one week after his death, Richard Dubois went missing. He was five-years-old and was sent by his mother to visit his grandparents. He disappeared the same way Peter did, right out of his house. The only clue the grandmother could give us was she had taken him and his brother to the playground every afternoon that week." Reid continued. "He was found in Utah nine weeks later, close to where Shin was discovered. He, however, had drowned."

"That's odd." Emily mentioned. "There can't be that many bodies of water in that area, it's mostly desert."

"Exactly, and the most recent death, Eddie Gereedo, was also a drowning, found just after eight weeks. He was six-years-old and also was removed from his house. His parents were a feuding couple in the midst of a divorce." Reid explained. As he finished writing that information, he went under the last picture and, in complete silence wrote down the rest of the timeline.

"He disappeared about four months ago." He said as he turned around. With his dry erase marker, he pointed out the date of Peter's disappearance. "Eddie was found exactly one week before the next and most recent victim was taken… Peter Hillman."

Silence filled the room, no one able to deny what this could mean for the fate of that little boy.

"So…" Alexa murmured. "You're right… he could still be alive."

"The bodies are found in plain sight, usually dumped within 24 hours of their deaths. If we haven't found him yet… I think we have every evidence to rightly believe so."

Hotch was reluctant to make that call. He wanted to disprove Reid's theory. It was standard procedure that without any contact from the kidnapper, no ask for ransom, and no solid proof the child was living, they had to work the case as if the child were dead.

He, however, had a vice today that even he couldn't explain. He looked across the table, his eyes landing on the poor distraught woman he suddenly found himself very fond of. She was a good woman, someone who would die for her children. The mark of a good mother. Maybe, even if it were false hope, it was the right thing to do this time.

"If that's the case, we need to work fast." Hotch spoke up. "I understand all the boys found in Utah, but what about the first two? They were killed sooner and suffocated. A quick, but painful death. How could they be connected?"

He had almost forgotten. The most important link in the chain. "Every single one of these boys is a twin."

The team hadn't been expecting that. "Are you sure?" Garcia wondered.

"When you gave me that list of missing twins, I knew something was off." He explained. "They weren't always killed at the same time or same way, but there was an element that was too familiar to ignore." Looking to the others, he indicated each photo. "Lawrence was playing with his twin sister, but she wasn't taken. Henry's identical twin brother was a part of the school choir, he had practice the day he was taken, otherwise, the two would have been together. Shin's identical twin was holding his mother's hand when Shin ran off and was snatched."

"Richard's grandmother said she'd taken him and his brother." Emily noticed. "I assume that means twin brother?"

"Fraternal, yes." Reid answered. "And Eddie had a twin sister, like Peter and Lawrence. The twins were never around when the child was taken. The unsub doesn't have a preference of what kind of twin, he doesn't even care about the other twin… he just wants the one. He doesn't divide and choose a weaker… he specifically picks one."

"That's odd." Morgan noted. "Normally if he's interested in twins, he wants both. It's more of a challenge which becomes more of a reward."

"Then why does he only want one?" Rossi wondered.

Before anyone could think of a theory, John let out a moan. "This is a complete waste of time. You're sitting around here, talking about other kids when you should be out there looking for mine! If my son's alive, who cares about the dead ones?"

"Their parents do, Mr. Hillman." Hotch retorted. "These boys deserve just as much justice as Peter, dead or alive. Our job is to study human behavior, which gives us a narrow view of who we're searching for. This will lead us into the right direction, not driving aimlessly through town, interviewing suspects that have no connection to the child. We look at facts, evidence, we study the manners of the killer. Believe it or not, we've learned more about your son's captor in Dr. Reid's presentation than the police have in the last eight weeks."

"And what would that be?" John demanded.

"That he's a twinless twin." Riley cried, as if she were the only one who found the answer to the most puzzling riddle.

The entire room looked at her, including her husband. While the others were confused, Reid paused to consider that. "It makes sense, doesn't it?" She asked, watching with hope and worry.

"It is plausible, yes." Reid nodded. Though he agreed, his icy demeanor towards her didn't shift at all, not even wanting to look at her.

"What's a twinless twin?" Garcia questioned.

"It's a rare psychological condition." Riley began to explain, ignoring how much she hated when he was angry with her. "Like we said before, twins form an unbreakable bond that begins in the womb. They're connected their entire lives. There are a lot of myths and theories on it, but there is some truth to it. It's not physical or extrasensory sense. It's more mental, emotional. For example, at a young age, twins will develop a gibberish language that only they can understand. Some cultures even believe the souls of twins are mated to each other."

"So, if one twin dies, it can greatly affect its living sibling." Reid continued without missing a beat. "Even if the child dies in utero, that person often feels a disconnection to the world… like a part of them is missing. That person will find any way to fill that empty part of themselves, striving to great success or plummeting into a world of pain and despair. Often times, it's both. Both Elvis Presley and Liberace were twinless twins."

"So you're saying… the unsub is a twinless twin and that's why he only wants one of the set?" Morgan questioned.

"It's possible if this guy lost his twin brother, he could be reliving the death over and over." Rossi said. "Taking both boys or a boy and a girl would ruin the fantasy… though the cause of death keeps changing is still unknown."

Before anyone could speculate, Harper cried out. "That's sick! That's disgusting to even think about, I can't believe any of you would even talk about it."

"It is a horrible subject, Mrs. Bundle," Rossi agreed, "but it is what it is. Just because it's against the laws of the government or society doesn't stop people from doing evil things."

"That's why we all have a job." Morgan added, his tone harsh.

Jeremy got out of his seat. "Wow, I think we owe Spencer an apology." He said, obviously bothered by what he was hearing. "I never thought we screwed him up so bad, he'd turn out all dark and demented, actually liking something like this."

Reid was stunned. "You honestly think you are the reason I do this job? I don't do it because I enjoy seeing this horror every single day; I hate it. I do so other people don't have to experience it."

"Why would you willing have this in your life?" Harper asked, absolutely disgusted.

Though Reid didn't feel brave enough to speak up for himself, the others weren't about to let these obtuse strangers insult their friend. "I don't think you're really insulted by Dr. Reid's career," Emily spoke up, folding her hands over the table as she surveyed them. "My expert profiling skills tell me you're more ashamed because you know he's incredibly strong to do this job while the rest of you lead a worthless and small existence. You don't make a difference on the world like he does."

That cut all them right to the bone, and John got out of his seat, furious. He seemed to grow larger in his ferocity, towering over the table. He wasn't about to let anyone make him feel inferior. "Worthless and small… wow, that brings me right back to high school. On the football field, in fact."

Reid suddenly looked panicked, and he couldn't hide it fast enough. John smirked, knowing he once again had the upper hand.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Garcia demanded, baffled.

"Nothing, Baby Girl." Morgan answered at once, getting out of his seat. John Hillman had nothing over Derek Morgan. He looked almost desperate to reach for his gun. "I think you need to leave now."

"Oh, are your little friends going to stick up for you?" John asked with a smile, giving Morgan only a glance. "I can study human behavior, too… and judging by the confused faces, most of them don't know what I'm talking about."

"You need to leave." Reid said, his voice wavering. He never wanted anyone to know about it. He could barely live with the fact that Morgan knew… if everyone knew… he wouldn't be able to take that. It was too humiliating.

"You really don't want them to know, do you?" John laughed; he was practically giddy. "About how we lured you to the field because you were so in love with Alexa."

"Shut up." Reid whispered, looking away. The only way out of here was right behind John. There was no way to escape… this couldn't be happening to him. He'd been humiliated in front of crowd before… but these people… he couldn't be made so weak in front of his friends. He'd never be able to live it down.

"You need to leave," Riley said forcefully, glancing at her husband in worry. With no idea what to do, he turned towards the board, his entire body trembling with anger and shame. She hated to see him like this, wishing she could endure this pain for him.

Behind John, Harper and Jeremy were watching this with the greatest amusement. It was like a National Geographic special, a pride of lions focused on an injured zebra, and they were just about to make the kill. "What was going through your head when we did that, Spencer?" John wondered. "When we stripped off all your clothes and tied you up? Almost the whole school was there laughing at you, throwing things at you, not one person gave a damn… that must have been so embarrassing. I bet the killers wouldn't be so intimidated by you if they knew how pathetic you are."

"Enough!" Riley cried, getting out of her chair. She was beyond furious, how dare these people come in here and mortify her husband. A man worth thousands of them in every way. "You have no right to stand here and treat him like this, especially not when he's trying to help your child. You treat him like dirt because you know how much he's worth to the world. When you, any of you, could disappear right now and no one would care. No one would even remember."

"You can't talk to him like that," Jeremy said, going over as if to teach her a lesson.

"I certainly can." Morgan said. "If you say another word to him or any of us unless it's about this case, this entire team is leaving and no one will ever find Peter. Is that what you want?"

"Guys, please just let it go!" Alexa begged.

They wouldn't listen. Jeremy shifted directions, walking towards Morgan. "Why are you on this team, exactly? Are you just around to act as Spencer's body guard or are you just the token muscle of team?"

"Why don't we take this outside, I'll show you what my muscles can do." He said in a dangerous tone, getting right in the younger man's face. He gave him a intimidating shove in the shoulder, waiting for him to retaliate.

"That's enough." Hotch ordered, preventing a fight from breaking out. "Morgan, back off. Mr. Bundle… I suggest you and the others step away now, go back to the lounge or the break room so that this team can discuss this in private."

Morgan and Jeremy stared each other down for a long time. He seemed to realize he was no match for Morgan, but didn't step back too quickly. At last he turned and followed his wife out of the room.

"See you, Spencer," John said with a happy smile. This was highly satisfying for him, and as he took a glance at Riley, he knew his next move would just be icing on the cake. If this got under Spencer's skin… it would be nothing to how he could manipulate her.

Alexa waited for them to go. She was almost as humiliated as Reid, and didn't exit right away. "Spencer-"

"Just. Go." Reid yelled. He was so angry, he wanted to break something… like her neck.

She didn't need to be told twice. Backing away, she muttered, "I'm sorry," and hurried out of the conference room. The team was alone now.

They didn't know what to say. Behind Reid's back, everyone looked to each other in panic. What exactly did a person say at a moment like this? They wanted to tell him it didn't matter to them, that they loved him. He had no reason to feel shame in front of them.

"Spence," JJ began.

"Please, don't." Spencer mumbled, shaking his head.

None of them would listen. "We are… so sorry, Reid. We had no idea." Garcia softly said.

"Of course you had no idea!" Reid yelled, at last turning around. "Do you think I wanted any of you to know about that! That was worst, most embarrassing moment of my life, a moment I wanted so badly to just forget! And now I never will because all of you know about it!"

"Reid, we're not judging you, if that's what you think." Rossi assured, speaking just as gently as the others. Most of them had never seen him so distraught, even under the control of psychotic killers. "It wasn't your fault that happened, they're the jerks who did it. They're the ones who should be ashamed."

"It doesn't matter," Reid muttered shaking his head. He needed some space; it was starting to feel like the walls were closing in. He couldn't be held responsible for what he might do if he didn't step away. "I can't… deal with this right now."

"Spence, talk to us." JJ urged, placing a hand on his arm, but Reid just shrugged her away. Forcefully.

"No!" He yelled, shoving her away so powerfully, she stumbled back slightly. "Get this through your head, Jennifer… all of you, listen to me now. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk, I don't want to be near anyone. I hate all of you for making me come here. I can never forgive any of you for this." He glared at Riley as he hurried out the door. "Especially you."

Without another word, he hurried out of the room. Riley opened her mouth to call after him, begging him to stay, but stopped herself before she made a sound. This was all her fault; she should have trusted his judgment when he didn't want to come. Nothing good had come from this trip.

She wanted to run after him, to pull him somewhere private and wrap him in her arms until he broke down, letting out his pain until he felt accepted and loved, just as she had many times before. This however, was not one of those times. She, like everyone here, knew, no matter how much they cared about him… they had to leave him alone. To give him time to just be.


	17. Little Brother

For several hours, Reid disappeared. He'd stormed out the front doors of the police station and walked down the street. Riley had a feeling he went back to the hotel. Not to rest, but to gamble. He found poker very soothing and mentally stimulating. Since he normally played with his friends for pots of candy or pretzels, or with her for a more R rated version, it wasn't anything to concerned about. He only played for real money when he was really upset. She wanted to go after him, but knew better. He would come back; he always did.

Meanwhile, the team worked on the profile. The activity of the squad room had died down, the local police filling out reports before changing shifts. The conference was closed off to anyone not associated with the agents, leaving the Hillmans and the Bundles on their own.

Alexa was too busy with her daughters to pay the others any mind. She'd taken the girls out to get some real food for dinner. Something fast and cheap since she didn't want to spend too much. Taking care of her daughters kept her mind off Peter… though it was difficult. Somewhere out there, her baby might be alive, all alone… who was getting his dinner?

John Hillman, however, had other priorities. The more time he wasted here, the deeper his anger went. Everything Spencer Reid did got under his skin. That kid thought he was so great, coming here just to show him up… to tell John if he couldn't save his son, Spencer certainly would. He was not about to let him get away with that. Spencer was nothing, absolutely worthless… and he wouldn't rest until that boy was certain of it, and that everything he had was not rightfully his.

Most would think he humbled him enough to last a year… but he didn't want to just humiliate him… he wanted to disgrace him. He wanted the memory of his wrath to stay with him for the rest of his life. He had decided that this morning… when he first met her.

"Jeremy," John said when Harper stepped out to buy them some real coffee, as she had said. She didn't know too much about their extra curricular love lives and it was better it stayed that way. "You remember that chick from the Tangiers? That waitress?"

"There've been a lot of them." He answered.

"The one from the casino a few months ago… who told me I was an old man who smelled like cheap cologne."

He was smiling at the memory, and Jeremy let out a laugh. "Yeah… she said she didn't want you sweating booze all over her… you showed her, though."

John could see her through the pillars of the conference room. His smile glowed of pure evil… she was his. Tomorrow, he wouldn't even care about her, but she and Spencer Reid would be haunted by this forever… he saw how hearing about the football field got to him, this would destroy him.

"I'm going do that to her." She informed, watching her brush her black curls off her shoulder. Even from here, she looked very sad. And her husband was off throwing a temper tantrum. This couldn't be more perfect.

"Are you sure?" Jeremy asked, skeptical. "With these cops and g-men around… if she reports you, you could go to jail."

"Relax, I have a system, remember, they won't find a trace." He said. "My word against hers, they can't do anything without proof."

"And if you get caught-"

"I won't get caught!" John hissed, glaring at his best friend of more than three decades. "I never have before. Not as long as you're running interference for me, just like always."

Jeremy let out a sigh. "You know I'll be there… but come on man, are you sure? You can get something a lot hotter than that. I mean, she's okay. Her body's decent… but her teeth, she looks kind of like a beaver."

It didn't matter. Nothing was going to change his mind. In a moment, she stepped away in a bit of a rush, her hand over her mouth. She must be headed to the restroom. He nodded to Jeremy to watch the doors. "You see any cop or one of those agents try to walk out… you know what to do."

He may not agree, but Jeremy complied, waiting as John got out of his seat and casually walked out of the precinct and into the hall.

* * *

><p>In the late afternoon, the team was ready to give the profile, but wanted to wait a little while longer for Reid. Before long, the sun was setting, sending the wild city into it's illuminated night. Six hours he'd been gone. Everyone was starting to get worried.<p>

JJ had grabbed another cup of coffee and pulled out her phone. Even after all the texts she and the others sent, there hadn't been a single reply. Enough was enough, if he wanted to be alone and sulk, fine, but he could at least let them know he was okay. She searched through her contacts and pressed his number to call.

As she waited through the rings, a phone's jingle began to play. It was muffled, somewhere off in the distance, but definitely within the precinct. If she didn't know better… it seemed to correspond perfectly with the call she was making. Keeping the phone to her ear, JJ followed the sound, out of the bull pen and down a corridor she hadn't traveled before.

Just as the voicemail picked up, she found where it was coming from. An office not far off from the squad room. The lights were off, but after testing the doorknob, found it was unlocked. She hurried inside.

Switching on the lights, JJ hung up the phone. She let out a sigh of relief seeing Reid had in fact come back a long time ago and was now sleeping on the couch in the empty office, it's inhabitant gone for the weekend no doubt.

Not wanting to wake him, she turned and was just about leave when she heard his voice, "Please don't leave."

Stopping, she looked back and saw him open his eyes. He was a little disappointed, he had been hoping it was Riley, but JJ was welcomed just the same.

"I had a nightmare," He mumbled, meeting her blue eyes. "I dreamed this demon took over my body and was a complete jerk to all my friends."

"So that's what happened?" JJ mentioned, leaning on the door.

"Yeah," He answered, sitting up, his long legs swinging over the side. He leaned on his knees as he rubbed his tired eyes and let out a sigh. His head hurt a bit and his body ached from sleeping for so long on this couch, much too small for his skinny, lanky form. "What time is it?"

"Almost 8." She replied, closing the door. JJ walked over, taking the seat beside him. "When you left, we assumed you went somewhere to gamble."

"I tried," He sighed, "After I lost my third hand and almost two hundred dollars, I knew I was too distracted. I was so exhausted, but I was still angry so I didn't want to go back to the hotel. I came here and found this open office and... decided to lay down for a nap… after five hours, I don't think it's technically a nap anymore."

It explained why he didn't answer any of their messages. "Do you feel any better?" She asked, hopeful.

"I do, actually," He nodded. "I'm not too happy all my friends learned about the worst moment of my life, though."

JJ was doubtful. "That was the worst moment of your life? So… you would rather be held hostage by Henkle again than be naked on a football field?"

He hadn't thought of that. At least on the field, he never truly believed he was going to die.

"Or what about when you and Hotch were stuck in that interview with Chester Hardwick?" She continued. "Or when you were poisoned with anthrax?"

"Okay, okay, maybe it's not the worst moment anymore, but it's definitely one of them." He corrected. "And it certainly scarred me for life."

"Reid… most people have horrible wounds from their childhood they're haunted by, you're not alone. There are lots of people who've been humiliated like that, including without any clothes on." She smiled shyly, looking away. "Some of those people are… in this room."

He was so shocked, his jaw dropped. At first, he thought she was just lying to make him feel better. "You're kidding."

By the way her cheeks glowed, he knew it was the truth. "Oh, I wish I were."

"You never told me anything about that." He cried.

"Yeah, kind of the same way you never told us what happened to you." She replied. "Though, if I had known, I would have told you about this a long time ago."

"What happened?" Reid wondered.

"Well…" She moaned, her eyes closed as she thought back to that horrible day. JJ had never told anyone about this, not even Will. "My freshman year, I started at a private school. They had an amazing athletic program. Some of the biggest scouts in the country came to those games. Maybe I was cocky, but… I knew I was good. I knew I'd have my choice of any college in the Ivy League."

"But you graduated from public school. Why'd you leave?" Reid wondered.

"Well…" She said slowly. Even in this circumstance, she felt a great trepidation at revealing this story. Since the day she left that school, she never spoke of it again. "You know I like to swim to keep in shape. The school had this huge pool, and when the swim team wasn't practicing, it was open to the students. So, one afternoon when I was fifteen, I went for a swim, just as I had many days before. When I was done, I got out of my bathing suit and went to get a shower… when I came out… all my clothes and my towels were gone."

"Who took them?" Reid wondered.

"I never had any proof, but I'm pretty sure it was some of the senior cheerleaders. So anyway, there I was completely naked, dripping wet and nothing to cover myself with. My sister wasn't supposed to be there for another half an hour and who knew how long it would be before she came and found me. I would have given anything for a cell phone back then. So I stole the shower curtain and… kind of tied it like a toga. I grabbed my gym bag and hurried out of the school to get to a pay phone."

"That's not that embarrassing." He said, almost disappointed.

"I'm not done." She corrected. "I never got to the pay phone. When I got there, a bunch of the senior cheerleaders were there… laughing, hanging around. That's how I knew it was them. They knew I'd need to call for help and they were waiting for me. So I snuck away before they saw me and, in the middle of the Pennsylvania winter, I had to wait outside for my sister in nothing but a shower curtain to keep me warm."

"Wow," Reid mumbled. It wasn't as bad, but she certainly wasn't overreacting. "That must have been horrible."

"I could have lived with that." She continued. "What was horrible was coming to school the next day to find my bra and panties hanging on the bulletin board. Since students have to sign in when using the swimming pool… they could see I was the only one there the night before. I was absolutely mortified. So much so, I begged my parents to put me back in public school."

"Okay, yeah, that must have been hard to live down." Reid agreed, and suddenly didn't feel so bad about what happened to him. He could see JJ was embarrassed by it, but she wasn't sickened by revealing the truth. She was able to accept the things that happened and let them go. Why he couldn't do that, too, he wasn't sure.

"It was hard. At the time, it felt like the end of the world. But… life moves on. I think I'm a better person for that. When I started at a new school, I really could relate to the kids who didn't fit in. I knew it was better to be kind to them than target them. It… helped me be who I am today. Just like what they did to you… it made you stronger. Stronger than most people, especially them. They don't have anything but the memory that for a brief time, the world did bow down to them. You have so much more… and you have one thing they will never have."

Reid murmured sadly, "What's that?"

With a smile, "You have us. We are always going to be here for you… through every worst moment of your life. And the best."

Reid couldn't help but match her smile. "Thank you," He muttered and pulled her into a hug.

She held him warmly, patting his back kindly. "Anytime, Spence."

As they pulled apart, Reid let out a chuckle. "There uh… there is a slight flaw in your earlier argument. While yes, my experiences with Henkle and Hardwick and Cyrus and the countless others are terrible days I never wish to relive again… I don't count the anthrax scare as… one of the worst moments of my life. It was terrifying, I'm not going to lie… but I'm incredibly grateful I went through it. Without it, one of the best things would never have happened to me."

Stunned, "What's that?"

Reid's smile widened. "Hotch and I had a conversation, right before I got married… he… he confessed that incident had been kind of the last straw. The Bureau noticed how reckless I'd been over the last year and… that's when they decided I needed evaluated… which, in turn, sent me to… therapy." He met her eyes with a shrug. "Everything happens for a reason, I guess."

"I wouldn't worry about what those guys said back there." She said with a twinkle. "Because of that reason, me and the other girls know their opinion is… shall we say, false information."

All the color drained from Reid's face as his smile disappeared. "She talks to you about that stuff?"

"Reid, we're all girlfriends, this is what we talk about. She loves you, she likes to brag about you." He looked even more humiliated than when John was berating him. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about, believe me, we're all very impressed. Especially about a certain… Indiana Jones fantasy."

"That was her fantasy, I'll have you know!" He yelled over her laughter. "I can't believe she told you that!"

Her giggles died away after a moment. "Well, don't be too mad at her because Riley is really worried about you. I think you better go talk to her."

Riley. The thought of her instantly twisted him with shame and guilt. He couldn't believe how he'd been treating her all day, yet she hadn't exactly been herself either. Had he not been so distracted with this, he would have made it his mission to find out what was wrong, whether she like it or not.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Do you know where she is?"

Before she could answer, there was a knock on the door. It opened without missing a beat and Morgan suddenly appeared, looking alleviated he found both of them. "Uh, oh." Morgan called as he spotted the two. "You better watch yourself there, JJ. I hear his kind is dangerous when violently provoked."

"Ha ha ha," Reid muttered, giving him a light glare. His anger hadn't as easily subsided for this man.

"Last I heard, Riley was in the restroom, she might still be there." JJ said, standing up.

The blame was doubling inside him, making him feel like his insides were splitting open. "Is she throwing up again?"

After a moment's hesitation, JJ nodded. "Yeah."

"Tell her I'll be there in a moment." He said, standing up. Once again, his eyes fixated on Morgan. The man felt almost vulnerable under his stare.

She could tell Reid wanted to talk to Morgan alone. About what, she didn't know, but wouldn't press to stay. Without another word, she hurried out of the office. The two long time friends were alone, looking to each other like they hadn't shared a kind word in twenty years.

"You okay?" Morgan wondered, his tone empty.

"Fine," Reid answered, getting to his feet. He was in no mood to dance around the subject. "What was that about back there?"

"What?" Morgan asked, unsure.

"I know you, Morgan." Reid sternly said. "I know you could take both John and Jeremy together and win. You were ready to knock the sense of that guy… can you explain to me why?"

He had to admit, he was a little flabbergasted. Morgan turned to Reid, asking "Can't you even tell when you're friend is standing up for you?"

"Honestly, Morgan, I would have thought you and those guys would get along." Reid said. "Maybe you're not as mean, maybe you don't hate me, but… you tease me just like they do."

"I do not treat you like that." He argued. "How can you compare me to them?"

"You make fun of me all the time." He claimed, a bitterness in his words. "Then you get offended when other people do it. I don't understand, if you dislike so much about me, why is it so strange when other people feel the same?"

"Whoa!" Morgan yelled, taking a couple steps forward. "You think I don't like you? I can't believe you, kid. You're a know-it-all a lot of the time, yeah. You're abrasive and kind of annoying sometimes, but there's nothing about you that I dislike so much, I'd want you to change."

"Then I don't get it!" Reid exclaimed. "If you don't see me like they do, why do you treat me the same way?"

Morgan rolled his eyes. The kid just did not get it. Or he did and he just wanted to embarrass him now. Kind of meaningless since they were alone. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"Say what?" Reid asked, oblivious.

In that moment, Reid had never seen him so bashful. Morgan avoided his eyes, unsure of his own footing. He could barely look at him, wanting to tell him to forget it and storm out of the room. "I tease you because I'm the only one who's… you know, allowed to. You're… you're like… my little brother… and I'll be damned if I let someone pick on my little brother."

In a million years, he never would have expected such a response. Reid knew Morgan was his friend, that he did care about him… but he never knew he saw him like that. Touched, Reid couldn't help but smile. "You think of me as you're little brother?"

"Kind of, yeah." He answered. "Look, kid, I grew up with two sisters. I didn't get to do stuff like this growing up… if I treated Sarah or Des like this, they ran to my dad to tattle. I wanted a brother I could pick on and tease and… look out for. So when I grew up and this scrawny, shy, awkward kid joined the unit with no one to look out for him… I don't know, I guess those instincts kicked in, and after all this time, they never stopped. I know I make fun of you… I know I torture you and play pranks on you… but I do it because that's how I show I… you know…" He lowered his voice, practically mumbling, "…love you."

"And here I thought you hated me when you first met me." Reid said. "I mean… wasn't it you who told me I couldn't handle this stuff and should find another profession?"

Morgan suddenly felt his body go numb. Never, in all this time, had Reid brought up the day they met. "Yeah…" He muttered, having not thought of that day for a few years, and even longer before that. "I never apologized to you about that, did I?"

"Don't," Reid shook his head. "Morgan, I should thank you. You set me straight that day. I knew I had to work harder if I was going to make it in the FBI. Everyone always pushed me to use my brain, that it was the only thing I needed to succeed. You were the first one who made me realize I had to be physically strong enough, too. If it hadn't been for you, I might never have made it here."

"Really? You never told me that." He said, pleased.

"You tease me all the time; you think I was going to tell you that? I didn't want you to have the satisfaction!" Reid said, grinning.

The two men were just short of laughing, and Reid was feeling the best he'd felt all day. "Thanks for sticking up for me in there."

"I was ready to put his head through the wall." Morgan stated, much more serious. "This is all my fault, Reid. I should have just sent that woman away when she showed up."

"This isn't Alexa's fault." Reid shook his head, finally admitting what he'd been trying to deny all day. "I mean… from what I heard from Meredith, Alexa's just as much of a target for them most of the time… she only came to the BAU to find her son, it's the other three that are making this difficult."

"You've got to stand up to them, Reid." Ordered Morgan. "Even if it doesn't put them in their place, they're feeding off your misery. I know it's hard, but… you've got to tell them off. Let them know you're not some weak little kid anymore, make them feel worthless for a change. It's what they deserve."

Reid wasn't quite so happy anymore. "I'm not so sure I can." He mumbled, feeling discomfited as he looked away.

Morgan knew he was underestimating himself. Reid could stand up to them; he was fully capable of putting each of them in their place ten times over. Unfortunately, no matter what he could do, fear was debilitating. It wasn't something a person could easily switch off, and Morgan couldn't think of anything that could possibly trigger such a reaction for Reid.

* * *

><p>Riley was finally returning from the Ladies' Room. Her throat was sore and scratchy from vomiting so much. She needed some water… or maybe some tea. She would love a cup of coffee, but couldn't convince herself to have even just a small one. It made her feel selfish. She was better with tea… and another apple. She couldn't seem to get enough of those. Was it going to be like this for the next seven months?<p>

At that, Riley stopped in her tracks. The next seven months. That was the first time she let herself think so far in the future. Truly, since this morning, she'd only been able to see a month in advanced… that was, after all, all she had left to decide whether to abort.

She shoved the thought aside for now. She wasn't going to make any decision tonight, but in truth she took Spencer's words to heart. She was on her own… she didn't deserve to seek his comfort and counsel, not after everything she put him through. It was a shame, the more she thought about telling him, the more she realized she wanted to. Maybe if he knew… maybe she would feel better about it.

Gathering herself, she turned the corner and checked her phone. No messages or calls from Spencer. Her stomach contorted with fear. Where was he? She was really getting scared. It was anyone's guess what he would get into all alone, his mind in such a dark place.

The squad room was still a few feet away. Walking slowly, Riley clicked through her phone to call him. It was then she suddenly found her path was blocked. John Hillman appeared out of nowhere, standing before her like a towering wall.

"Well, hello, Beautiful." His voice as thick and smooth as a snake. It slithered over the walls of the empty corridor.

"Excuse me," Riley said, trying to stay calm. She looked to him with a fire not easily put out. She couldn't be intimidated as quickly as others. "You're in my way."

"That was the idea," His mouth curled into a smile. Did he expect that to be charming? "I must be a magnet, because when I first saw you, I was instantly attracted to you."

She couldn't believe this. This man had a lot of nerve to think not only she would be civil to him, but he could give her some cheesy line and she'd swoon. "Do you really think I'm going to speak with you after the way you treated my husband?"

"Right, I'm all in tears." John laughed. "Like you don't know he's screwing that blonde piece of ass on his team."

Riley went from irritated to fuming. She wasn't sure what she hated more, that he thought of her husband as such a low life or thought of her friend in such a degrading matter.

She glanced around her, finding no other living soul. Nothing she could use as an excuse to step away, and the restroom was too far to escape in there. With a roll of her eyes, she turned around. Of course he would do this when the others weren't around. What a coward.

"You know, speaking as a professional psychiatrist, I'd say you're clinically delusional. You should know, just because you don't respect your marriage doesn't mean every man is as much of a jackass as you."

"Now that's not very lady-like." He grinned, leaning closer. "Come on… how long have you been married to that? Because I've seen what that boy has to offer, it can't have changed much. Don't you miss being with a real man? Because… I could do that for you. Even if it's just once."

"Ugh," Riley recoiled. She may need to go back to the restroom, because she felt like vomiting again. And it certainly wasn't from this pregnancy. "You know, Spencer's told me a bit about you over the years. But I realize he was wrong. You're not a jerk, you are a downright disgusting pig. I pity that poor woman being married to you all this time. If she had any brains, she'd kick your ass to the curb. Now, excuse me."

With as much force as she could muster, Riley shoved herself past John, looking to her phone again. This man wouldn't be worth her time if he paid for a session.

This was not going at all to how he'd envisioned. Maybe he didn't expect Riley to be compliant, but it had never mattered before. How many woman had he approached like this and gotten exactly what he wanted, even if they outright refused? He watched with loathing at this woman who had the nerve to be so insolent. She wasn't going to get away that easily… he would have to be rough with her.

"You get back here, I'm not done." John ordered. When she didn't stop, he called out, hurrying after her. "Hey, I'm talking to you, Bitch!"

As his cry rang in the vast emptiness, he grabbed her arm. So forcefully, Riley cried out with pain as he pulled her in front of him. He stared at her in fury, ready to release his anger on her. This would be easy. How much of a fight could she put up anyway? He felt her try to wrench herself from his grasp but he was too strong. That just made it more fun.

"Let me go!" Riley moaned, as she struggled against his grasp. She moaned in both pain and disgust as he brought her body against his, holding her so tight she could barely breath, let alone yell for help. The others were too far away to hear her cries of terror. She searched for someone to come down the hall, but he had her in a vice grip, she could barely move.

His eyes were burning with anger as he spun her and dragged her down the corridor, spotting an alcove leading off to a few different offices. No one was going to come down here anytime soon and he must have realized that. John's body pressed against her to keep her pinned, his one hand wrapping around her mouth, so hard she could barely breathe.

She moaned and whimpered, his other hand bunching her sweater in a fist. He laughed as he felt her legs writhe under him, trying to kick him away.

"Yeah, that's right… fight me." John laughed. He was already enjoying this. Normally, when he snuck off with a girl, she was more than willing to comply, but sometimes, there were girls not quite so open to this opportunity. He enjoyed the bit of challenge they put up, and no one ever fought as much as Riley Reid.

He pushed against her again. Along with his hand over her mouth, she could hardly breathe. Why was he doing this to her? She squeaked and whimpered, desperate for someone to find her struggle… tears burned in her eyes as she felt his hand start to go up her shirt.

Riley had never been so terrified. She'd been in danger before, but at those times she'd had help and was able to put up more of a struggle. This monster was holding her so hard, but that wasn't even the reason why she wasn't fighting any harder. She was afraid if she struggle or just resisted too much… he might punch her in her stomach… what would that do? She was too scared to even consider what that meant right now.

"Open your eyes," John said softly and laughed as he stroked along her bra, loving how she shuddered. "I want to see you, open your eyes."

Tears were spilling out now as she opened her eyes, feeling nauseas at his sickening smile. "Trust me, you're going to love this."

She was crying, almost hysterically now. It had to be impossible for one man to be this strong… she sobbed into his hand, exhausting herself as she still fought to get away, with as much force as she dared. She wasn't sure how she'd get away this time, without being able to fight… and Spencer was no where around to save her.


	18. A Flash of Lightening

A/N: Just an interesting bit of information. Yesterday, I took the day off work because I had a migraine. I ended up watching Celebrity Ghost Stories and guess who was one of the guests? MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER! It was awesome! (I always knew he was a believer, too.)

* * *

><p>Everyone had decided to take a break before giving the profile. JJ had gone to try and call Reid. Riley had disappeared into the bathroom awhile ago. Strange she wasn't back yet. Emily was just thinking she should go check on her when she caught sight of her bubbly girl… or not so bubbly girl, as the case was.<p>

It was like Penelope Garcia's evil twin. She was sorrowful, angry, and downright bitter. Emily could see her being upset for awhile, but this was getting out of hand. It was almost like she was jealous that she was with Morgan. That certainly could not be the case because Garcia was madly in love with her husband.

With the finished profile, Garcia started running searches of possible suspects, including people in the Las Vegas area and across the border in Utah. Not an easy task and it seemed the frustration was growing on her already irritated mind. With the lack of a criminal record, it was hard to even begin to think were to look for suspects, let alone find them.

"Hey," Emily said kindly as she took the empty seat beside her.

"Hello," Garica mumbled, focused intently on her laptop screen.

She wasn't going to give up easily, though. Honestly, out of everyone in the group, she assumed Garcia would be the most understanding. After all, she'd been in the same situation with Kevin. Not to mention, she was so determined to have Morgan and Emily makeup when they were fighting. This almost broke her heart.

"Garcia, please talk to me." She begged. "Why are you so upset? Is it because Morgan and I are dating?"

"No," She murmured. "That has nothing to do with it… I'm happy for you."

"You sound it," Emily grumbled sarcastically. "I'm sorry, I know this could jeopardize our team… but you don't know the whole story."

"That's right, I don't!" Garcia exclaimed, at last looking to her. "I didn't know anything about this; you kept me in the dark like I'm Hotch or Strauss. That hurts, Emily, that you don't trust me!"

That was a little clearer. She had no idea how badly Emily had wanted to talk to her friends about this, and for some time. "So that's what this is about? That I didn't tell you about it?"

"I would understand if nobody knew." Garcia explained turning away. "But why tell Riley and not me? Or JJ? I get you two are good friends, Riley's great, we love her… but I've known you a hell of a lot longer than she has. Why her and not me?"

"I didn't tell Riley, I never intended for anyone to find out." Emily explained, inching her chair closer, managing to keep her voice low. "Reid accidentally saw us kissing and… Riley was with him at the time, we had to tell them the truth. The less who knew about it the better, and we weren't even that serious then."

Garcia still wasn't convinced and so, Emily moved even closer. "Please try to understand. Derek and I-"

"Oh, so he's Derek now." She mentioned sullenly.

"_Derek and I_… are trying to make this work. You guys are our friends and we trust you with our lives… but we don't trust ourselves. The less involved, the less complicated this would be… and the less likely we would get caught, we're not exactly making a smart decision here."

It seemed to soften her attitude. "I suppose you're right… I didn't tell anyone about me and my huggy bear until Rossi caught us in our steamy afterglow shower."

"That's… kind of what happened to us." Emily laughed. "We were on a case and Reid caught me leaving Morgan's hotel room one morning with my shoes in one hand and my panties in the other."

She smirked with humility and expected Garcia to find that funny. But she didn't laugh… in fact, she looked confused. "Wait… you said when Reid caught you Riley was there… and Riley hasn't worked that many cases with us. When exactly did they find out?"

She hesitated a moment, then answered grudgingly. "They found out in London."

"Lon-" She went to yell, catching herself and looking around. No one was listening, thankfully. "London!" She hissed, her eyes bulging. "I would have thought, the earliest it started, was that Valentine's Day we made you spend together… I always knew how much Morgan liked you, I figured it would only be a matter of time. But to find out it was before that… before even London… holy bananas, Emily, how long have you two been together?"

Her angry was flowing back and Emily hung her head a moment. "Awhile… we first slept together the night of Reid's funeral… and then, it was right after we solved the Nathan Harris case it became a regular thing."

"Oh my God!" Garcia cried, standing up. "You two fought for over a year! You put us through hell worrying about you guys, desperate to have our team back to normal! You're telling me this whole time it was a lie!"

"We were trying to keep this secret!" Emily explained, getting to her feet as well. "We were new at this, we couldn't risk anyone finding out, please understand!"

As Garcia opened her mouth to reply, she noticed a group of officers watching them. "Would you like to pull up some chairs? Maybe make some popcorn? That way you could really enjoy this oh so obvious show we're putting on for you!"

The wrath of the women sent them scurrying, and Garcia turned back to Emily with narrowed eyes. "All this time, two of my closest friends are doing the horizontal monster mash and they don't even bother to tell me once! You've been lying to me… not just for a few months… but for years. Obviously, you don't trust me. Or JJ. I don't know if I can ever forgive you, Emily."

"Garcia… please!" She called, but she wouldn't respond. The fuming lady headed to the break room, never looking back.

She was about to run after her when JJ hurried over to her. "Hey, have you seen Riley? Reid's looking for her."

At least Reid was back, that was one less worry on her mind. "I think she's still in the restroom."

She was about to hurry away when Emily grabbed her arm. "Hey… Garcia's pretty mad at me about… you know."

"No, I don't know." She muttered.

That sounded odd, like she were lying. "About… me and Morgan. About how I didn't tell you guys. What do you think I should do?"

"You know, Emily," JJ whined, a little disappointed by her priorities at the moment. "Don't you think there are more important things to worry about right now than your little relationship? I mean, obviously, it wasn't important enough before today to talk about it with me. Why start now?"

She wasn't angry, like Garcia… just sad. Hurt that she hadn't been brought into the loop. It was different when she was with Will, since everyone already figured that out in the meantime. Garcia was exactly right. She and Riley were close, but she'd known these two for so much longer. If she had found out, after all this time, that they'd kept a major part of their lives a secret, especially involving another person she was so close to… she'd be angry and hurt, too… thinking they didn't care enough about her to want to share it with her.

Emily hated herself. She knew one day this could tear her team apart, but she never thought she'd lose her friends because of this. She always thought, once they did know, they'd be really happy for them. She'd brought this on herself, though, and had to make this up to them… somehow.

Right now, there were more important things to figure out and hurried after JJ to help her find Riley.

* * *

><p>Morgan and Reid were leaving the office, heading down the corridor to rejoin the others. "No way," Morgan cried, skeptical. The kid was making that up.<p>

"I'm telling you," Reid insured. "The girls tell each other everything. How else could JJ know about a… particular fantasy I did for Riley a few months ago?"

"Oh, yeah, the Indiana Jones one?" Morgan questioned, unable to stop from laughing.

Shocked, "How the hell…"

"Prentiss told me." Morgan explained. "You must love her, Pretty Boy. Emily couldn't pay me to dress up like that. Though I probably can't pull it off. Besides, Prentiss's fantasies are… a little more strenuous, if you know what I mean."

"I don't want to know." Reid moaned with a cringe.

Come on, Reid, it's not that much of a shock. You're telling me Riley's never told you stuff Emily's told her about me?"

His memory, as usual, didn't fail to enlighten him. "No… but in all honesty, I don't really want to know. That's not the issue, anyway, I don't want all my friends knowing about the intimate stuff I do with my wife."

They turned the corner, heading down past the restrooms to the other end of the hall. Turning again, they headed for the squad room, only a few feet away.

Morgan let out a heavy grunt, his hand pressing into his abdomen. His face was contorted in a bit of pain. Reid was immediately concerned.

"Are you alright?" He asked with worry.

He answered with another grunt, his way of brushing his friend off. If he thought that would convince him, he was surely mistaken.

"You look like you're in a lot of pain." He urged them both to a stop by grabbing Morgan's arm. "This can't be just the flu."

"Oh, God, you sound like Prentiss," Morgan rolled his eyes. "It's nothing, okay, so you need to drop it."

"No, you need to go to a doctor." Reid insisted. He may not be a doctor, and he had never experienced it himself, but the symptoms seemed to fit. "I think… maybe… you might need your appendix taken out."

He rolled his eyes and groaned. The pain was starting to slip away. "Oh come on, kid, I do not need my appendix out. This is nothing, so let it go. You've got your own problems to worry about, anyway."

Reid wasn't aware what – or who – he was referring to. Watching his friend in that pain without any immediate explanation bothered him. Morgan ignoring it wasn't just stupid, it was dangerous.

"I've got to tell you, Morgan, the symptoms do fit appendicitis. Nausea, stomach pain that grew gradually over time."

"I've had this stomach pain for about a month kid." Morgan waved off.

"That's not uncommon. Chronic Appendicitis can last for years. I think you need to see someone. If it's getting worse, you might need surgery."

"I don't need surgery!" Morgan cried. "I'm asking you now, Reid, drop it. I don't need surgery and I don't need help. I am fine, got it?"

Fine. He couldn't push him to get help if he didn't want it. "Are you sure you don't want to see someone right now?"

"It's just the flu, or maybe some chronic indigestion. Appendicitis… no. It's nothing like that." Morgan shook his head. "Do not mention this to Prentiss, she'd just worry and… I don't want to do that to her, so I'd appreciate it if you just… let it go."

"Yeah, the woman you love looking out for you. You poor, poor man." Reid teased. It seemed the pain was dispersing and Morgan was looking like himself again. A sheen of perspiration appeared on his forehead from intensity of it. "Alright, I'll let it go for now… but promise me, if it gets worse, you'll tell me so I can take you to the emergency room."

He at least owed him that. "Fine."

They turned to find they were not alone anymore in the corridor. JJ and Emily were walking towards them. Reid looked curiously, wondering why his wife wasn't with them. Isn't that were JJ went, after all?

"I'm still looking for Riley," She explained, shaking her head. "She got sick again a little while ago, she might still be in the restroom."

"I don't think so, we just passed there and didn't hear anyone throwing up." Morgan said. "Maybe she stepped outside. She does smoke when she gets stressed, doesn't she?"

The girls gasped, glancing at each other. They knew she was on the fence about this, but she wouldn't be so selfish as to smoke when she knew she was pregnant. After he said it, Morgan realized that was in fact serious and became a bit nervous himself.

Reid however, gave a roll of his eyes. If she wasn't inside, that was the mostly likely place she could be. Well, he could use the fresh air anyway, and maybe remind her she'd just taken away six minutes for him to love her.

Before he'd even taken a step in the direction of the entrance, his ears picked up a strange noise. There wasn't another soul in sight, on either end of the hall… but there was something besides their footsteps and talking.

"Guys," He held up his hand to keep everyone quiet. It was a funny squeaking noise… almost like a child was weeping. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Morgan asked, trying to listen.

"That squeaking sound," Reid said, looking around. "Where's it coming from?"

JJ was the first one to confirm it. "What is that? It's like… pressure leaking out of a tire or something."

All four paused, remaining in a motionless silence. It was difficult to tell with the human ear where such a soft sound was coming from, but none of them could leave it alone until they found it. There was something about it that was unnatural. Reid strained to follow the sound… but the echo was making it difficult.

"I think…" Reid said, turning. One finger went down the corridor, an area he'd never walked down before. "I think it's back this way."

The four headed in the indicated direction, trying to follow the sound. It was becoming erratic and then Reid heard it… a male voice uttering for whoever was crying to shut up. It was quiet, but distinct. Was that just his imagination?

Looking back at the others, he could see it wasn't. Someone was in danger. Trying not to fear the worst, they searched around for where that could be coming from. Reid's first thought was their first draft of a profile was wrong. Perhaps the unsub had come back for Penny and he was trying to sneak out with her. Morgan and JJ checked down near the restrooms while Emily and Reid went in another direction.

It was difficult to see at first, but the hall broke off into a separate alcove. The two rushed over there, at last finding the source of the sound. What happened next would be blur to Spencer Reid for a long time. As he turned the corner, he saw the horrific scene.

There was John with his body pressed against his wife, who was crying and struggling to break free. His hand was pushing up her shirt, his hands caressing over her soft stomach, his other placed firmly over her mouth.

The very sight before him made him see red. His entire brain shut off and he acted on instinct.

The young genius moved like a flash of lightening, all reasoning gone. Without a word of warning, he flew to John, grabbing him by his t-shirt, his hidden strength easily pulling him away from Riley. Without missing a beat, Reid held him up, punching him smack on the jaw. It cracked loudly through the hall, sounding as sharp as gunfire.

Riley almost collapsed as the weight of the man finally released her. She gasped for a full breath, clinging to the wall to keep from falling over. Emily hurried to the poor girl, supporting her fragile form.

"Are you alright?" Emily asked, looking her over.

Riley couldn't answer, just gasped at the shock at what had happened to her, a bit in disbelief it was happening.

John cried out in pain as he buckled from the force of the punch, stumbling over. The others must have heard the commotion because Morgan and JJ soon appeared around the corner, confused.

"What happened?" JJ asked.

"Get some help." Emily ordered, sticking close to Riley as she tried to remain on her feet. She looked like she was about to pass out..

Reid didn't even notice the arrival of the others. Without missing a beat, he lunged forward. It was as if Morgan's own spirit had taken control of his body. He grabbed John off the floor without the slightest bit of struggle. He was the one being dragged this time, taken into the main corridor and slammed against the wall, making him gasp from the impact even worse than Riley.

A few cops as well as Hotch, Rossi, and Garcia ran out at JJ's command within a thirty seconds, confused. It increased into surprise as the witnessed the scene.

"You son of a bitch!" Reid yelled harshly. "How dare you, you think you can put your hands on my wife!"

John couldn't say anything but wheeze for breath, he waited for one of his friends to come to his aide, but they never did. He was all alone, with no one but Reid's biggest supporters to help.

Riley was slowly gaining her composure back, coming back into the hall with Emily. Morgan wanted to help Reid, but wasn't exactly sure what that would entail. He knew that kid always had an alpha male inside him, but was afraid he was taking it a bit too far, especially in front of their boss.

John had never been so terrified in his life. He was used to this boy being so afraid of everything… he'd never seen that look in a man's eyes ever… He thought might actually die tonight.

"Reid," Hotch called, forcefully. "Let him go."

Reid wouldn't listen. He stared daggers at this man who made his life so horrible. None of that mattered right now. He didn't care about himself. These people could do whatever they wanted to him, but when it came to her… no one was allowed to touch her. No one.

"Reid," Hotch pressed even harder. "That's enough, put him down."

John must have had trouble breathing, because he was panting pretty hard. Indeed, his feet were just shy of the floor, held over Reid just as he'd towered over him for so many years… yet this time, John was the one staring at him in pure terror.

Another voice finally came out of the silence, always reaching him in the darkest of places. "Spencer," Riley urged, her voice trembling. A gentle hand rested on his arm. "Put him down, it's alright."

"It is not alright," Reid snarled, and his grip tightened, causing John to whimper a bit… like a cowardly little puppy.

"He's not worth the effort." Riley assured. "Please, Sweetheart, I'm alright, you saved me. Just let him go now."

There was a long expectant pause before Reid complied, slowly lowering him to the ground. Before he released him, however, he leaned in closer, his hot breath blowing on John's face.

"Do not go near her again. You don't touch her, you don't talk to her… you don't even look at her… or I will kill you."

There wasn't a soul in that room who believed that a bluff. He didn't agree, but let out a grumble that said he understood. Reid released him, allowing his sneakered feet to support his weight again.

"What do you think you were doing to her?" Emily demanded, stepping forward.

"We were just talking." He said, with a shrug.

"Kind of hard to talk when you have your hand over her mouth." Emily informed with anger. "You were going to rape her."

There was a pause. John met Riley's eyes, giving a small smirk. "She can't prove anything."

Reid made another move to knock his lights out, but Morgan was there this time. He grabbed him by his arm to keep him back.

"Maybe not, but Riley can certainly press charges for assault." Hotch said, stepping forward.

"Uh…" Riley couldn't think straight right now. She was lightheaded and confused and thought she might be sick yet again, both from her condition and the shock of what happened. "I… I don't… know."

Rossi turned to one of the officers, "Put him in lock up until we know otherwise."

"You can't-" He began to argue, but stopped short as Morgan walked over, he fell silent. The officers stepped over, forcefully handling him while pulling out a set of handcuffs.

"Ow, you're hurting me." He moaned.

"That's a bummer, I know." Morgan muttered, all of them watching as the two officers lead them off.

The adrenaline had just about worn off. Reid breathed deeply, feeling his heart slow down. He was shaking almost as badly as Riley was, unable to look at anyone.

Riley wanted him to take her in his arms, but he wouldn't even come near her. "Are you alright?" He asked, staring at the floor.

She nodded. "Yes," She said, starting to cry. "Thank you."

"Mm hmm," He mumbled, and quickly stepped away. Riley watched in panic as he got further and further from her. She'd just been through this ordeal and he wouldn't even meet her gaze. It couldn't be just because she brought him here… why was he so mad at her?

* * *

><p><em>Reid suddenly looked scared himself. Riley started crying again, turning hysterical.<em>

_"I ran out of there as quick as I could. I left my purse, my keys, my glasses, everything. I ran the whole way here, I was so scared." she sobbed. "And, I know you're angry and I know you hate me, I just… I didn't know who else to turn to! I'm sorry!"_

_Reid shushed her again, pulling her into his arms to quiet her. He rocked her soothingly, letting her cry into his sweater. "That's not true. I could never hate you." He said. That made her sob harder, holding him closer. "You can stay here, I'll keep you safe."_

_She pulled back slightly to see his face. "Are you sure?" she asked._

_"Yeah," he said. "You can take my bed; I'll sleep on the couch."_

_"You don't have to do that," she moaned. "You're so good to me. I don't deserve you."_

_She sobbed harder and Reid couldn't help but smile. "Okay, stop crying." He said gently, stroking her back. "You're safe now. I'm here. Shh, I'm here."_

_He let her cry for a long time, her tears soaking through his shirt, moistening his skin. She was so warm and soft; it felt so good to have her in his arms again. He wasn't thrilled at the circumstances that came of it. But she was here now, where he could protect her. Everything was going to be fine… maybe then she'd realize he was the man for her, that no man could ever love her as much as he._

_It took awhile, but her sobs began to quiet. Riley lifted up her head. Her gorgeous brown eyes glowed bright from all the tears. If he didn't know better… he'd swear she was looking at him with love… but that couldn't be so._

_Reid reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks, getting a small smile from her. "I know you're scared, but I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. I'm going to go get you something to wear to bed and I'll make up the couch for myself. You can take my bed." He assured with a smile._

"_You don't have to sleep on the couch." Riley cried, her hands resting on his chest. "I don't want you to."_

"_I want you to be comfortable, though." Reid said, trying to ignore the electricity her hands sent into his chest, even through his shirt. He felt so selfish, wanting her so badly when the only reason she was here was because someone was after her. Still, though… he couldn't help but want to feel her touch on his skin again, to kiss and taste her whole body. Even if it were just one more time._

"_Please…" She said, a new wave of tears about to take over again. "I don't want to be alone. Stay with me."_

_He had the sudden urge to reach forward and kiss her. "I can… I can stay with you…"_

_It suddenly occurred to him he should call Hotch, despite however much he loathed the man right now. He still needed to be informed on this. But maybe it was a good thing. Riley had come to Reid, not Hotch… didn't that mean something?_

_Before he could say any of this, there was a knock on Reid's door. Riley grasp, her hand clutching the fabric of his shirt, looking at the door in panic. She turned to Reid in fear, silently begging him not to open the door. Both of them knew who was on the other side._

_He had to answer it, though. Without a second thought, he brushed Riley's cheek and went to answer the door. He opened it, thinking in the last second he should have gone back and grabbed his gun._

_The light from his apartment flowed into the hall, illuminating their guest. Reid was stunned to see… Sam Andrews… Riley's colleague._

_Riley saw him, never expecting this unexpected guest to be him. There was no need for explanation; Reid knew exactly why he was here… and he knew what he had to do._

_A scream from Riley erupted as a fight instantly broke out. She wanted to run, but she was too scared… she couldn't abandon Spencer, either. She didn't know what to do, frozen with fear as she watched the sight before her._

_Reid held his own. Andrews was strong, but he couldn't easily overpower the young genius. He fought with more strength that before today had never been possible. Something about Riley brought a great force out of him. He was not about to let this monster near her._

_He cried out as a sharp force pierced his stomach. Almost instantly, he could feel blood flowing over his shirt. He wished for Riley to run and if he wasn't in so much pain he'd order her to get out. To get somewhere and call Aaron Hotchner… don't worry about him, just go!_

_But he couldn't. Reid collapsed onto the floor, the pain was so great. He moaned twice more as two more stabs went into his stomach. Riley was screaming his name… run, Riley… please, get out of here while you still can…_

_Everything was going black. Riley's screams were stopped a moment as a loud crack was heard… a hand striking against skin… he must have slapped her. She kept screaming for his name. Reid was fading rapidly, his eyes rolling into his head. He wanted to call out to Riley, to tell her he was sorry… but it was too much for him… and Reid slipped away from the world._

Reid needed some fresh air. The sun was gone… but it was never night in Las Vegas. He stood on the terrace, staring out at the vast glow of the city. It was his home. He usually felt very comfortable here, yet tonight he felt like he was climbing out of his own flesh… so completely lost. He couldn't shut his brain off right now… it had taken a long time for that full memory to resurface, but it was there. The first time he had saved Riley… or at least, tried to.

The squeak of the door sounded just before he heard his name. "Reid?" Hotch called. "Reid, are you out here."

"Over here," Reid called, away from the soft light coming out from the lobby.

Hotch heard him, quickly hurrying over. He found the younger man standing at the ledge, his hands gripped so tightly on the metal railing, his knuckles glowed as brightly as the lights of the city.

He didn't want to lecture him, but he couldn't just let this go. In truth, he fully supported what he'd done. He'd have done the same thing for Hayley or… someone else, if there were ever a someone else. Really, what could he tell Reid that didn't make him sound like a hypocrite? And what could he say to make him feel better? He looked ready to fly off the handle at anyone around him and even Hotch hoped he'd never find himself on the business end of Spencer Reid's anger.

"Are you okay?" He asked carefully.

Letting out a low grumble, he mumbled, "Yeah."

"You want to tell me what that was back there?" Hotch asked, trying not to sound too harsh. It didn't work very well.

"He was touching her," Reid explained. "I've seen that look in so many eyes of so many sadistic unsubs… men who dump women in the woods like they mean nothing at all. He wanted to rape my wife… he was… he had his hand…"

"Reid," Hotch said again, stepping forward. "You need to calm down. I'm sorry that happened. I know you were defending Riley, I don't overlook that, but… you really may have turned this against you."

That was true. Despite what had happened or what he thought was going to happen, he did attack and threatened the life of a civilian. One phone call to Strauss could result in a termination from the FBI, all because he was trying to defend his wife. Of course, at this point and time, he didn't care… he couldn't get _that_ image out of his head. He knew he wouldn't for a long time.

"I don't want to talk about this." Insisted Reid, gripping the rail even tighter.

Another squeak of the doors sounded as Hotch pressed on. "Don't misconstrue my concern Reid. Right now, it's not focused on the unit or the Bureau, it's for you-"

"Yeah, well I don't want it!" Reid yelled, looking back at him. "I can take care of myself, believe it or not. You just saw that… stop treating me like a baby! I'm in my thirties, for crying out loud!"

"Alright, _Dr. Reid_." Hotch practically yelled, his hands going onto his hips in his usual attack position. "I get you're upset right now, but that's no excuse to completely lose your temper. You're in a delicate situation, the last thing you need is to appear out of control!"

"Aaron," Another voice called out. Soft and timid, quivering slightly.

Hotch stopped suddenly. Reid didn't look back, sensing him moving away. He spoke in whispers for a moment before his footsteps walked off, fading away. Reid stared at the bushes next to the ledge of the terrace, refusing to turn around.

He didn't have to, though. After a moment, he sensed another soul smelling of fresh roses come closer. Two warm arms wrapped around his middle, soon followed by her lips pressing on the back of his neck.

"Hi," She said in a soft whisper.

"Hi," He moaned. His tone was hollow and miserable, his stomach churning with resentment and anger. Riley being so close was the only thing easing that sourness away.

She pulled away, though. Reid was despondent until she maneuvered so she was in front of him. Gently, she picked up his right hand, holding it delicately in her hold. He let out a grunt of pain as she began to massage it with her soft, delicate fingers. The pain eased a bit, soothed away by her touch.

"Hmm," Reid sighed, his head falling back as he savored it. "Thank you."

"I thought you could use it." She said, with a small smile. "You hit him pretty hard."

"I didn't even feel it," He shook his head, giving a half smile. He finally met her eyes, for the first time devoid of any hurt or fear or anger. Just love. "Did he… I mean…"

"Ugh," Riley cringed, shuddering again. Phantom fingers were still lingering on her body, and they weren't going to go away for a long time. "He barely touched me… I'd say you got there just in time."

"I can't believe he did that to you." Reid assured. "I know he hates me, that he wants to make my life miserable, but… I never believed it would be during something like this."

Riley brought his sore hand to her lips to press a kiss on his knuckles. "What about you… are you okay?"

"Oh," Reid brushed it off, not even caring about himself. "It doesn't even hurt that bad. What you're doing feels so good."

"I don't mean you're hand." Riley explained. "Spencer… you scared me back there."

The warmth in his eyes began to fade as he stated, "I was defending you."

"I know," She said gently, "But Sweetheart… I've never seen you like that. I've seen you fight off unsubs, but never have I seen you so… reckless and dangerous. You've always used some kind of logic or reasoning when you square off with an enemy. Even against Engles, you were nothing like this. This time was just chaos. I really thought you were going to kill him … where did that come from?"

She was absolutely right. For once, Reid didn't let his rational mind have control. This, though, was not just about another man crossing the line… it was more than that. He lowered his head, feeling a little ashamed of himself. He wasn't sure how to say this, struggling to find the right words.

"Did you know that… Alexa was the first girl I ever loved." Reid said. He stared at the concrete, breathing in her familiar perfume with every breath. Normally it comforted him, but right now he felt like he was betraying her. "I never… told her or… kissed her or anything, but… from a distance, I loved her. I worshipped her from afar, and that was enough for me."

Riley, however, wasn't offended. In fact, she let out a chuckle. "Everybody has puppy love at twelve-years-old. I did… but what does that have to do with anything?"

It took a few minutes to answer. His heart was beating so fast, he thought it was going to split in two. "I was practically obsessed with her," He said slowly. "And… she was with John. That made me hate him. I hated him because he got to kiss her and put his hands on her and hold her… and he always held her just a little too tight, just so she and everyone would know that she was his property."

He choked a bit as he continued. "And now, there's you…" He looked up, meeting her eyes for a moment, filled with sadness. "And I love you more than anything in the world." He broke her gaze again, trying to keep calm. "Just seeing him touch you like that… knowing what he wanted to do to you… He hurt you… you were crying and struggling… I would have defended you no matter what, but knowing he thought he could do that you… I just couldn't take it. I felt like… Riley, I couldn't breathe… I was so… so angry."

Riley sensed he was about to have some kind of break down. Without a second thought, she pulled him into her arms. She understood. "Hey," She whispered right against his ear, her fingers slipping into his soft hair. "Spencer… listen to me. No one is ever going to take me away from you. Remember what I said to you… on our honeymoon? I'm yours. I'm yours and I always will be."

At that, he let out a heavy breath and pulled her into his embrace. He buried his face into her shoulder, moaning with content as her fingers now massaged his scalp. He loved it when she did that. She pressed a kiss against his neck again, burying her nose in the crook of his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that, that was very unprofessional… and I know you hate it when I get jealous."

"Jealous." She explained, pulling away in order to see his face. She was shocked. "No… jealous is how you act when the kid at the check out counter flirts with me. John Hillman was not flirting with me… he… he was touching me. He wanted to violate me… and you saved me. Again. Maybe you didn't need to intimidate him like that, but… you defended me. Do you have any idea how safe that makes me feel? Not to mention loved?"

He smiled. "I'll always be there to save you."

Tears were forming in her eyes again, resting her head on his shoulder. "Good to know."

They remained like that for a long time, just soothing each others woes and lost in the feel of their embrace. Despite how it came about, they were together now, always happy to be together.

As they parted, Riley stroked down his hair, looking deeply into his eyes. "I'm not going to press charges, by the way. I know I should but… I really just want to let it go. When we leave here, I want to leave it behind."

"No, he shouldn't get away with this. What if he tries it again?" Riley asked.

"After what you just did to him, I know he won't." She was certain. "And I must say, taking the unpleasantness out of it, when everything's said and done, it is very romantic. You, standing up for my honor like that… like you always do."

"Really?" He asked with a smile.

"Mm, hmm," She hummed with a nod. "Very sexy, Dr. Reid."

She pressed a kiss right below his ear and Reid let out a sigh. "You always make me feel like the luckiest man in the world."

"Hey," She stood up straight to meet his eyes, pushing back the hair on his temple. "I am sorry about before… I didn't mean to act like that, it wasn't about you, I'm just… I'm dealing with something."

"Oh, Riley, I'm sorry." Reid said, leaning his brow on hers. "I didn't mean what I said, I am here for you. Whatever's bothering you has to be something serious."

"Yeah…" She uttered, letting out a shaky breath. In all the commotion, she'd just about forgotten about everything. All those terrors that had plagued her… why she had been so concerned when John was threatening her… a lot of unanswered questions were up in the air, even more than before. She really needed him now.

Reid studied her face for a long time. She was not herself. Absolutely petrified, and it wasn't from the incident in the hall. She looked anxious and tired, like she hadn't rested in weeks. This flu was getting worse, he was certain… or maybe it wasn't the flu at all. "What's going on?" He asked, determined. "You can tell me."

"I'm not so sure I can," Riley answered. "Spencer… if I tell you this… we can never go back to the way things were. Our lives will be completely changed… forever."

"Why?" He asked, terrified. "What… what's going on with you? Do you… do you know why you're sick?"

"I haven't been to a doctor." She moaned, fidgeting a bit. "But… yes, I know why I'm so sick."

Tears were pouring from her eyes, almost as bad as a few moments ago. They couldn't be stopped. Reid had never been so frightened. He had no idea what was wrong, yet he could already feel some invisible force pulling his wife away from him. Was she really sick? Terminally so… was he going to lose her? He couldn't even bear the idea of that.

He, however, knew he had to be strong. "Whatever it is, we'll handle it. I'm here for you, I will support you… and I love you. More than anything. But you have to tell me first."

She was just going to have to say it, avoiding it and putting it off were just going to make things worse. She stifled back a few sobs as she struggled to speak.

"Please," He begged, his hands gripping to her upper arms for support. "Just tell me."

Riley took a deep breath, crying out before she could stop herself. "I'm not sick, Spencer," She whimpered, meeting his comforting hazel eyes, looking for the strength she always found there. "I'm pregnant."


	19. Playing With Fire

A 187 IQ, an ability to read 20,000 words per minute, an eidetic memory, three Ph.D.s and a masters in Philosophy, Spencer Reid was a certified genius. He was one of the smartest men in recorded history, surpassing many of the greatest minds, including Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking.

Yet for thirty seconds, he was nothing but a mindless moron.

Reid couldn't even think, his brain coming to a complete halt. At first, he wasn't even sure if he heard her right, crippled with shock. Riley's breath stuttered with fear as she waited for his reaction. She was silently screaming for him to say something… anything… just so she knew he understood and hadn't had a stroke.

"Preg… what?" He finally managed to utter.

"Pregnant." Riley repeated, starting to feel lightheaded again. She feared she might fall over in a minute… Reid seemed so distraught, so she wasn't sure he'd catch her.

"You're… pregnant." He finally uttered, gaining his motor function back. He took a step back, eyeing her up and down. There was a bit of difference from a few moments ago, but suddenly she was completely different being, a vessel for a new life. She looked so scared… after everything they'd been through, he'd never seen her so scared. Even when he'd come back from the dead.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, stunned.

"Like I said, I haven't been to a doctor yet." She stammered. Her tears seemed to cease for a moment. She'd been crying so much today, she'd need to gulp some water so as not get dehydrated. "However, I did take a test this morning… it was positive. I'm pregnant, Spencer."

"Oh… my…" Reid backed away, needing a moment to let this sink in. He'd been thinking about children for a long time now. He wanted so desperately to have a family with Riley, but knowing her anxiety about it, he wouldn't push her. He brought up the subject every now and then, but he never brought it down to ultimatums. It would be better if she came to the conclusion on her own.

But it seemed all that was irrelevant now… and it was finally happening.

Finally, he broke into the widest smile. "Oh my God…" He cried with an eccentric laugh. "I… I can't… believe this, you're pregnant! We're… we're having a baby!"

"Yeah…" Riley said softly, not exactly ready to jump with joy. "It would appear so."

"Oh my God," He said again, and at that rushed forward, instantly pulling her into her arms. Riley practically collapsed on him, so emotionally exhausted, she had no strength. She forced her negative emotions down. He was so happy, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Spencer. This was exactly why she didn't want to tell him.

He was laughing and crying at the same time, holding her closer. "I am so sorry," He moaned, squeezing her as close as he dared in her condition. "I had no idea this is what you meant by a problem… I am so, so sorry.""

"Spencer… don't… don't be sorry." She groaned, clutching to him desperately. He smelled so good, breathing it in comforted her a bit. She needed his support so much right now, but couldn't tell him how she was feeling. It was like those first four months all over again, before she left for Seattle… when she wanted him so much, but every instinct was telling her not to burden him, that the best she could do for him was get away before either of them got hurt, before she ruined what could be an incredible life for him.

"No," Reid pulled up to see her face, his arms keeping her close to him. "I feel terrible… I should have known… maybe if we hadn't gotten wrapped up in this case, I would have noticed-"

"Spencer, I didn't even think of it." She explained. "If JJ hadn't suggested I might be, I would still think it was just the flu."

"I should have known, as soon as you started eating those apples." He said, staring to laugh, almost hysterically so. Everything that had just happened, everything he was going through on this case… none of it mattered. A moment ago, his entire world was unraveling. Now, he had a new perspective. Everything made sense again.

"Spencer," She said again. "I think we need to talk about this."

"Definitely, definitely we need to talk about this. A lot," He said smiling. "We have a lot to figure out, so much planning to do… but… oh, it's going to be so wonderful."

Riley wasn't so sure. She was starting to feel she wasn't so keen on terminating right away… but thinking of that just made her hate herself even more. Not only was she stupid enough to let herself get pregnant, now she was feeling she actually wanted it. That was so much more selfish than having either the coffee or cigarettes.

"I don't mean planning." She explained. "Just… talking things through… I'm really confused right now."

Before he could ask about what, the door opened at the entrance again. Reid looked behind him, taking Riley's hand. He couldn't remove the smile on his face if someone paid him. Hurrying over, he saw Emily had stepped out, looking for them. She was the first person he got to tell.

"There you guys are." She said with relief. "Everything okay with both of you?"

"Better than," Reid cried as they walked up. "Did you hear the news? We're going to have a baby!"

"Yeah I… I heard a rumor." Emily said, a little amazed. She looked to Riley with a prideful smile. "Congratulations, you guys."

"Thanks," Riley nodded, unable to look at her. Emily knew immediately just because Reid knew didn't mean everything was fine and dandy about this. And now that he did know, soon the chips were going to hit the fan.

"Uh," Emily said, changing the subject. "Reid, we're ready to give the profile… if you're coming."

"Yeah, I'm right behind you." Reid called. Emily stepped back inside, giving the couple one more minute alone.

"I promise, when I'm done we'll sit down and talk this over. I know you must be scared, and you have every right to be, but… you just wait. Everything is going to be great, you'll see."

"Uh, huh." Riley said, nodding. "I, uh… I think I need to go to the Ladies' Room again."

"That's great!" Reid exclaimed, practically giddy over the fact she was vomiting so much. Riley looked surprised. "I mean… I know it's uncomfortable to throw up, but… that usually means the baby's healthy and there's a lower chance of miscarriage."

"Oh… well…" She was definitely feeling nauseas now. "That's a good thing."

"Yes, it is…" He said, staring deeply into her eyes. It was hard to believe just a few minutes ago, his temper had taken complete control of him… nor a few hours ago, they were fighting. He was so happy, utterly and completely happy… she wanted more than anything to be happy with him.

His one hand cupped her cheek, the other pushing back her curly hair, a bit disheveled after the straining day she'd been through. She had never looked so beautiful… maybe it was his imagination, but she was already glowing. "Oh, Riley…" He said, so soft and gentle like. "I think I just feel in love with you all over again… I can't believe you're having my baby."

At that, he leaned and brought her into a kiss. Riley couldn't help but fall into it, letting out a soft, pleased moan. Her hand reached to clutch onto his shirt, their lips moving in the harmony they perfected many a year ago.

Their lips parted and Riley had no words. "I'll see you in there in a bit and we'll talk. I love you."

"I love you, too." She called as he hurried to get inside, leaving her alone. He rushed down the hall, wanting to get there before the team had to start the profile. "No matter what, I will always love you."

Her eyes closed as she let her tears fall. As she cried, her hands came up to rest on her stomach… thinking of what was in there… what she'd been so desperate to protect before… Spencer's baby… her-

"No!" She cried, shucking her hands off her stomach. Instead, she covered her face with them, crying all alone. She just couldn't let herself give in. This wasn't about what she wanted… because what she wanted was to be a good mother. And that just wouldn't happen.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand, where is he?" Harper was demanding from her husband. There was no reason any of them were needed in the profile, but after the fun they'd had in the conference room, they didn't want to miss this.<p>

That was until before. Jeremy had indeed been keeping a look out, but saw the other agents track down John before he could stop them, he abandoned him immediately. He wasn't about to go down for this. John was going to be furious when he got back up here.

"I don't know, he uh… got in trouble about something." He said with a shrug. "I guess the g-men were pissed so they found a reason to put him in lockup."

"Bastards," she muttered, glaring at Agents Hotchner and Prentiss, who were talking by the doors. "I can't believe this, that kid's even more of a big baby than in high school, needing his little friends to stick up for him."

"Yeah, he didn't have any friends in school, remember?" He teased. While Harper ranted, he eyed the agents cautiously… what did they know? Were they going to come after him, too?

Meanwhile, Emily was talking with Hotch. Reid hurried in just as the rest of the cops were assembling, catching his friends' attention immediately.

"Reid," Hotch said, intercepting him. He sounded serious, but wanted to be gentle just the same. "I'm sorry if I came down too hard on you out there. I was just concerned for you. I was just as upset about that as you were, but I knew I had to look out for you, too."

"Forget about it, Hotch." Reid waved it off. "There is nothing you could say to me right now that is going to upset me. But thank you for your concern."

Hotch was surprised. Reid had a tendency to brood about things, bottle up his emotions until they exploded. But this… he wasn't even pretending, he really was okay. Had he turned over a new leaf and decided just to let his anger go?

If that were a surprise, what happened next was a shocker. Without another word, Reid hurried off to the front of the room where the others were waiting. As he went, he saw Jeremy and Harper in a heated discussion, obviously hearing about what happened. They eyed him with caution and disgust respectively as he was about to pass, but Reid barely noticed.

"Hey, how are you guys doing?" He asked them with a smile, stepping off without another word.

The two agents gaped at the scene. "Did that just happen?" Emily asked, looking to Hotch.

He paused for a moment until the realization hit him. Looking to Emily, he inquired, "Riley told him about the baby, didn't she?"

"Yeah, but I don't think Reid knows the whole story." She explained, looking nervous herself. "It was so sad… he's so happy about this."

"That's a good thing. He's going to want to keep this baby at all cost, he'll talk it through with Riley and do anything to get her to see his side of the story." The faintest smile slipped out as he nodded with confidence. "It will be alright. Now, come on, let's go."

They were the last two to gather with the others. The whole room was at attention, the team of profilers stood before the room of cops and detectives, finally bringing light to, until recently, was an unknown serial case. As usual, the BAU's unit chief took point, leading off the presentation.

"We are looking for a white male in his early to mid twenties." He began. "His preference of victims are boys between the ages of 5 and 7 years and they're always a member of twins."

"His interest in the boys are unknown, though we do know it's not of a sexual nature." Rossi continued. "There's been no sign of trauma on the boys besides a few bumps and bruises and, of course, the ultimate cause of death. Which has varied from smothering, a broken neck, and drowning."

"We believe this man, like his victims, is a twin. Not just any twin, but what is known as a twinless twin." Morgan explained.

"What's a twinless twin?" A young officer asked, diligently making notes.

"It's a reference used to refer to a person who was a member of twins, but the other died at some point, either in or out of utero." Reid explained, back in his usual element. "Being connected to a person in the womb irreversibly changes someone psychologically, and when that person is suddenly gone, it can be devastating."

Morgan continued, "Since the unsub sticks to a preferred age, we believe his trauma happened at the same point of life. Something killed his twin and now he's forcing these boys to do the same so he can relive it."

Another officer asked, "What purpose would that serve for him, though?"

"Really, we can only guess. We may never know." Rossi informed. "He was very young, it's possible he's just trying to understand why his brother died. Then again, it's also probable he committed the murder himself, whether by accident or maliciously. Whatever it is, he is forcing himself to relive it over and over."

"This man does not have a criminal record. We know this because of the lack of sexual trauma. This man relates as easily to the boys as a pedophile, but since his interest is not sexual, there's been no reason to incarcerate him. Since none of the boys had any kind of drugs or alcohol in their bodies, odds are the man doesn't either. That rules out any illegal substance charges. We suspecting the most you'll find on him are parking violations."

"And we know he has to drive because the boys are being brought into Utah." Hotch added.

"He has no interest in the second twin, and he has no preference whether the boys are from dizygotic or monozygotic pairs, nor whether the unwanted twin is a boy or a girl." Specified Reid. "We suspect this means, though he had a brother, he was indeed a fraternal twin. Identical would suggest he'd target boys with the same features as he had as a child."

Emily spoke up next, "He targets boys in abusive families, and not necessarily physically abusive. More than likely just neglect. Children that are left alone while the parents work, who's parents ignore them a lot of the day, parents with their own abuse charges or possibly in the middle of a divorce."

Along with that, JJ added. "This kind of environment puts incredible stress on a child and when this man comes along offering them a life where they can play and be loved and just be a kid, they don't need much convincing."

Hotch knew he should be listening, but as JJ spoke, he found something to distract. Alexa had at last returned with her daughters, entering the squad room. Realizing what was going on, she said something to her eldest daughter, Meredith, who nodded – somewhat reluctantly – and took her sister from her mother. The two hurried over to the lounge while Alexa rushed over to listen to the presentation. She had been very interested in hearing this, anxious to know more about the man who took her son.

She moved to the front, keeping her distance from her so called friends. Instantly, she locked eyes with Hotch. He knew it had to be his imagination when she saw her gasp slightly at meeting his eyes. He looked away quickly, feeling his face get warm, but in that split second… that sensation he felt… he suddenly felt like a kid again.

The others were looking at him to continue. "Uh…" he had to think for a moment to know where to come in. "I think that's it, don't you?" He asked, looking to the others desperately.

None of which could believe he'd forgotten. Aaron Hotchner, always organized and prepared was a blank on what he was supposed to say. Immediately, JJ filled the gap, an expert at thinking on her toes. "We suspect the reason the first two boys were smothered is because he had difficulty controlling them. More than likely it was before he developed his preference. He went after boys he could easily grab when he knew they should be coming willingly."

"He wouldn't know they'd come so easily if he himself didn't live in a similar environment. He may or may not be married and have children of his own, but if he is, he may involuntarily be repeating this pattern with his children. He won't kill them however because none of them are twins." Rossi concluded. "We have our technical analyst looking through DMV records of someone who matches the profile, but no luck yet. We'll keep you informed, we suggest you start looking through old case files from a twenty years ago of similar deaths of these boys."

The officers took their notes and headed off, ready to set to work this investigation. The group gathered together, looking to Hotch curiously.

"Are you alright, sir?" JJ asked, concerned. Always seeming the mother of the group, showing concern for each and every one of her friends.

"Just tired." He said quickly, rushing to get away. "Excuse me."

Pushing through the group, Hotch hurried off, trying to ignore the eyes all around him… especially the jade green ones he felt burning into his back.

He rushed to make it to the conference room, hidden by the pillars from most prying of eyes. Alone there, Hotch let out a few deep breaths. He didn't know how to deal with this… he'd never felt himself so distracted before, like he was that foolish rookie all over again.

And as the one who remembered Hotch as a rookie, Rossi wasn't far behind, joining him. "What's going on with you? Are you alright?"

"Yes," he grumbled. He did not want to discuss this… he couldn't believe he was letting this happen, even a little.

"Are you sure? Because you seem upset, and I don't think it's about Hayley anymore."

"What would you know about it?" He groaned, turning around. "As soon as one wife was out of the picture, you were on the prowl for the next one. Maybe I'm just having trouble letting a woman I loved go to another man."

"That's deep, Aaron… lying." He said, trying not to smile. "This has nothing to do with Hayley getting married. This is about that blonde number that's been staring at you every chance she's gotten today." He said, trying not to smirk. "And who's been catching your eye since… oh, back in Quantico, I think."

"If you're referring to Alexa, Dave, you don't know what you're talking about." He snarled at him. He wanted to hurry away, deal with this on his own with Rossi's all too amused smirk on his face, but there was no way out of here. Even if he could get past Rossi… he'd have to walk by her again and that would twist his stomach into even more knots.

"I know exactly what I'm talking about." He insisted. "Just admit it, you like her. Look past the immoral complications of not only the fact she's a victim's mother, but also that she happens to be married and just let yourself admit it. There's nothing wrong with having a crush."

That was right. It was just a crush. Hotch hadn't had a crush like this in a long time, not since he first walked into that auditorium and landed eyes on that beautiful sophomore. Either way, though, there was nothing wrong with it. People had crushes all the time, mostly on people they couldn't have, people they could never meet. There was nothing wrong with this besides the fact he was letting it affect his work.

"You're right," He breathed. "It's foolish, I know… we've just been getting along well, we've had some really nice talks and… she's a lot of fun to be around. I know Reid doesn't like her, but he only knows who she used to be. Now she's funny and kind and… you have to admit, she's very beautiful."

Beautiful. That word stuck like bugs to a strip of fly paper in the older man's mind. "Careful, Aaron, you're playing with fire there." Rossi said, a bit more seriously.

Confused, "You just said there was nothing wrong with this."

"Not if you're staying away from her. If she were just a victim, I wouldn't even be standing here, but… she's a married woman. Now I'm good at what I do. I, like the others, can see that marriage hit the rocks a long time ago… but until divorce is actually on the table, you don't want to be the breaking point for a marriage or even a factor that severs it… believe me, I know."

"What, you broke up a marriage in your time?" Hotch asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yes I did. My third wife was married when we first started dating, got married soon after she got divorced and… well, as you know, it didn't take long for the flame to fizzle out." Rossi said. "Just be careful, Hotch, you're a much better man than me. Breaking up a marriage will break you."

He understood. Rossi hadn't come in here just to warn him about being professional, he cared so much about his friends like that. "Thanks for the advice, Dave."

"Anytime," He said, heading back into the precinct. Hotch stood alone for a few minutes. Surprisingly, his mind wasn't buzzing, as he thought it would… as it should be after giving the profile… but all he could think about were those jade green eyes.


	20. Vows

Hotch took a few minutes to calm down. He had to get through the rest of the case without letting this effect him. Easier said than done; he hadn't felt like this in a very long time, only having the memories from long ago.

He couldn't understand what was wrong with him. Dave was right. Alexa was a married woman, he had to be careful. He couldn't just disturb a family, however dysfunctional it seemed. That wasn't right. Imagine how furious he'd be if he learned Hayley had feelings for another man at the end of their marriage.

But he hadn't disturbed this family. All he'd done was offer a grieving mother a shoulder to lean on. He just felt sorry for her. He'd seen so many parents missing a child. Some who were at each others throats and some who found even the smallest bit of strength in each other… but it was almost like John didn't care. Sure, he missed his son, but since giving up hope, he's added that to rest of his life that he's not happy about, finding strength inside a bottle and meaningless sex.

That made Hotch angry, too. He had tried to hurt Riley, whom he loved just as much as he did Jack. The way he handled her was not the work of impulse, but of an expert with a perfected routine. If he'd done it once, he must have done it multiple times. What about those women who didn't have someone come to their rescue?

Knowing he had to get back to work, Hotch tried to focus on something neutral. He breathed slowly as he thought of Jack starting camp in a few weeks. The first time he'd be away from home for more than a night. Hotch was so used to going on trips, he wasn't so sure how to handle his little boy going away while he stayed behind.

That did the trick. A little more emotionally stable now, Hotch turned to leave the conference room… only to find he wasn't alone.

"Alexa!" He exclaimed, seeing the breathtaking blonde woman standing there, watching him. Wait, she wasn't watching him, she was just waiting to speak to him… right?

"I didn't mean to disturb you," She said kindly, stepping further inside. Right, she was just waiting, not wanting to interrupt him. It was silly to think otherwise. "I, uh… I'm looking for my husband and when I asked my in-laws… they said I should speak to you or Spencer. Since Spencer won't even look at me and you at least tolerate me, I'm coming to you."

"I do more than tolerate you," He said with a smile and immediately wished Reid would come and punch some sense into him. "Uh… there's something I need to tell you about your husband. He's been… taken down to the station's lock up."

She didn't seem the least bit surprised about that. "Oh, God, what did he do now?"

This must not be his first offense… probably not even his tenth. Still, Hotch dreaded what her outcome would be. "We caught him assaulting… a young woman."

He left out her identity; she didn't need to know that right now. She was definitely appalled by that, but even then, she didn't appear stunned by this. "I can't believe he would do that… and here of all places. Is she alright?"

Hotch answered, "Yes… we didn't see much, there's little we can do to him, even if she presses charges… but I am wondering if you have any idea if he's done something like this before."

"Well," Alexa thought for a moment. She didn't seem to object in the slightest to reveal this about her husband. "I'm not proud to admit it, but I know John isn't exactly an ideal husband."

"You mean he's been unfaithful?" He wondered.

"Yeah," She said. "I've never said anything to him. I know he's going to do what he wants no matter what, so I turn a blind eye. John can be a very violent person when he gets upset. I don't care so much about myself, he can do what he wants to me, but… my children. I'd be devastated if he hurt my babies."

"So you're not certain if he's assaulted or… raped a woman before?" He questioned.

"If I did, I wouldn't hesitate to tell." She answered truthfully. "I wouldn't put it past him, but I've never heard of such a thing."

"I see," Hotch said. He believed her fully. "I just want to ask you… what places does he typically frequent in the evenings?"

"Well… any bar within a ten mile radius of our home… a strip club he and Jeremy like to go to, I think it's called Lusty Ladies or something, and they gamble at the bigger casinos on the strip, but that's usually only when I… when the paycheck comes in."

Hotch nodded. "Thank you," he smiled.

"Anything to help… I guess I better go… let my husband out of jail." She was trying to put a light spin on things, but it just came out bitter.

"Let him stay down there." Hotch called. Alexa turned back in surprise, looking to him as if he were crazy. "He'll be let out in the morning anyway, don't your waste your money."

Alexa knew John would be furious if he had to stay the night in jail… but she was amused by the idea. "Not that I'll get any sleep, but I could use a night away from him. Thanks,"

She gave him another grateful smile and Hotch was surprised when he returned. Again, she turned to leave. Before he could stop himself, Hotch blurted out, "You should care."

"Excuse me?" She questioned, looking back at him.

"I think it's very admirable that you're so concerned for the safety of your children." He said. "If it came down to me and my son, I would certainly take his place to spare him, so I can relate. But if you're husband is abusing you in any way… you should care. You're worth more than that… and it's a terrible example you're setting for your daughters."

Resentment suddenly rose in her and she turned back to face him. "Who are you to lecture me on how I live my life?"

"Mrs. Hillman, I used to be a prosecutor… and I can't tell you how many cases I worked involving long time wife beaters who went just a little too far one night… and a lot of them left innocent children behind."

"My husband almost never hits me." She answered. "It's only when I really deserve it."

"That's where you're wrong." He exclaimed. "It doesn't matter what you do, you don't deserve to be physically punished. And you know as well as I do when he does that, it's not because you put a toe out of line. Furthermore, maybe he doesn't hit you very often, but emotional and mental abuse is just as bad."

"That…" She pointed her finger at him in fury, her teeth gritted as she kept from yelling. "That's not what's going on, I am not abused, Agent Hotchner."

"He checks your cell phone and reads your email, doesn't he? He's isolated you from your friends, you barely get to see your family and when you do, if he's not with you, he makes sure you don't take the kids so he knows you're coming back. This is why you can't get any time alone because there's no one to watch your kids. He has severe mood swings, he constantly puts you down, and is extremely possessive of you."

Judging by the frightened expression on her face, Hotch knew he was right. "I study human behavior, Mrs. Hillman… and not only can I see abuse, I know it's just going to get worse in time. And then you won't be able to stop him from hurting you… or your children."

"You're just saying this because our fighting is supposedly what made Peter run away!" Alexa yelled, much louder than she should have.

Hotch stared her down for a moment. "I don't for a second blame you for Peter's disappearance. I'm sorry, I can't stand idly by and watch someone fall to danger… especially when she's standing in it willingly. You're a strong woman; you've fought for two months to find your son. A lesser woman would have given up on everything, I've seen it. Peter would most certainly have died, but now we have a chance to save his life. That's because of you. Only a strong woman would be capable of that, and such the same can stand up to her husband and kick him out of her life… that is, of course, if she has any interest in keeping it."

With that, Hotch brushed past her and out of the conference room. Alexa turned and watched him leave. A minute ago she couldn't take her eyes off him, this handsome man with the sweetest smile and spoke to her like her words were the most interesting thing to hear. It had been so long since she'd had a friend, he had been so kind and understanding. Really, he was just observing her, trying to determine what kind of life she was providing for her child.

Or did he really care about her and her children? Because Alexa had to admit… the thought of being rid of John Hillman and his cronies… seemed like a fairy tale, one she could never be a part of.

Meanwhile, Hotch reentered the main squad room, resisting the urge to look back. The others had broken up, either brainstorming where to focus next on their investigation or answering more questions for the police. His only concern was for one person… and her extensive realm of knowledge.

"Garcia," He said, startling her from her diligent work on her computer.

"Yes, sir?" She exclaimed, sitting up.

"I know you're busy, but I need your help." He informed. "Can you run another search while you're working on this one?"

"Is it ruefully unfair that Pluto is no longer a planet?" She asked with a smile. From the sight of his serious expression, he was not in the mood for jokes. She covered herself. "Yes, yes I can."

"I need you to look into John Hillman's financial history. I need you to run his credit card numbers and locations where money was withdrawn, than crosscheck that with unsolved rapes and assaults on the same night those locations."

"Is this about what happened to Riley?" She asked, worried. No surprise, the news had spread to her. The team was pretty good at keeping everyone in the loop, especially nowadays.

"In a sense," He answered. "It needs to be kept quiet, though. Find me when you're done. And don't show it to anyone but me."

"Yes, sir," She called as he stepped away. Immediately, she set to work, wondering what their boss could be suspecting… and knowing his suspicions were usually right.

* * *

><p>Riley was making herself a cup of ginger tea. The nausea wasn't so bad right now, but it wouldn't be long before it was back at full strength. She was going to try to ward it off as long as possible.<p>

She'd returned from the restroom just after the team finished the profile. She immediately found Spencer, wondering if he were ready to talk. He, smiling at her like they shared the rarest of secrets, asked her to wait up in the captain's office. That was right where she was headed as soon as her tea was ready.

Hearing more people walk in, Emily and Rossi joined to refill their mugs. She was growing more and more desperate for coffee, trying to ignore the need for it, that little voice telling her it didn't matter if she had a little. But she couldn't… not until she made a decision.

"So how's the mom-to-be feeling?" Rossi asked, giving her a smile.

Riley cringed, gritting her teeth to keep from lashing out at him. He knew exactly what she was doing to her, though the reason for it was unknown. It could be a form of reverse psychology – to indeed convince her that she truly wanted it – or he just got pleasure at of seeing her so frazzled.

"Not a good time, Dave." Emily said, patting Riley on the back. "How are you feeling?"

"If I throw up anymore, I think I can turn it into a circus act." Riley said, staring down into her tea. "I'm supposed to talk to Spencer in a minute… oh, I don't know how he's going to take this… I don't even want to tell him until I know what I'm going to do, but… I really need him right now."

"And he'll be there for you." Emily smiled confidently. "He loves you, he may not like how you feel, but he'll listen. You two will talk this out and… you might be surprise of the results."

"Hmm," She mumbled with a small scowl.

Emily couldn't help but laugh a little. In a few months time, when everything about her life and body change, she would look back at this and wonder why she was so scared.

While Emily was looking over Riley, Rossi was looking over her. He'd always had a soft spot for Emily, who found him easy to open up to. They had a connection, not unlike the one Riley shared with Hotch, or Reid with Gideon for a time. If anyone could get Riley to see the light, it was not Spencer Reid… but the woman before her.

"Listen," Emily said kindly. "You've been cooped up in this precinct all day. You've had to deal with a lot today, including being slobbered on by some disgusting pig as well as finding out your whole life changed."

"Do you have a point, Emily?" Riley groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Well… I'm going to the Gereedo household, to question the parents of the most recent deceased boy." She explained. "You don't have to come in with me to speak with them, but I thought you could use some fresh air, take a ride to mellow out. Would you like to come with me? I'll buy you a late dinner afterward."

She was a bit hungry. "If you don't mind waiting."

"Not at all." Emily assured. "JJ already called the family to expect us in the next couple of hours, so, if you're not done in an hour, I'll just go myself but… I have some time to wait. And I'd like some company on the drive."

"I may need a get away car after this conversation." She said with a smile. "I'll… meet you outside in the next hour?"

"I'll be there." She agreed. Riley felt a bit better, knowing she'd have a chance to go for a drive, clear her head without everyone around her, all with a different opinion and no understanding how she felt. Grabbing her tea, Riley headed off to the captain's office. Emily could only hope this discussion would do more good than harm.

Rossi stepped a bit closer, glancing at Riley's retreating back. "She's really confused right now."

"I know," Emily muttered sadly. "I feel so bad for her… I just hope Reid can help her to understand. She's not doomed to the life her parents gave her… that she could be really, really happy."

"Yeah," Nodded Rossi. He hesitated a moment, trying to grab Emily's gaze. "It seems to me… no matter what others have been through or how others feel… Riley needs to talk to someone who's really been there."

Emily's face went pale for a moment as she turned to Rossi. She looked stunned for a moment, as if angry he brought it up. It was an unspoken subject, something she tried so hard to pretend never happened.

But he was right. If anyone could understand how Riley felt, it wasn't someone who had babies, who may at one time thought about the alternative… but someone who actually chose the option.

With a silent nod, she looked to the older man to agree. It was a wound she wanted desperately to scar over… but Emily could let a little blood spill to spare her troubled friend from the same fate.

* * *

><p>Alone in the captain's office, her hands were shaking so bad, she couldn't control the mug of tea. It sat to the side table, rapidly turning cold.<p>

Riley's eyes were glued to the frosted glass of the door, her leg going a mile a minute, unsure what to do with her nervous energy. Any minute he was going to walk in. She wanted him to come so they could get this conversation over with… but then, as soon as he did, she'd have to tell him the truth. She did not want to be responsible for taking this joy away from him.

All too soon, it was upon her. The silhouette appeared on the other side of the door just before it opened, revealing the doctor himself. He spotted her immediately, still beaming with happiness, his eyes glowing with joy. Entering, he closed the door to give them some privacy.

"I'm sorry that took so long," He said, going to sit beside her on the couch. Riley would have preferred he took the chair, but didn't say anything. He pressed a kiss to her lips. "The officers had a lot of questions, mostly on how they were supposed to form a suspect list if the unsub doesn't have a record."

"How are you supposed to do that?" Riley wondered. Despite her brief work with the BAU, the process was still a bit complicated for her. She'd much rather stick to medicine, where problems are a bit more textbook.

"We said mostly likely, which means he may have one or two prior offenses." He said, adjusting himself comfortably beside her. "Though Garcia's taking the brunt of the load, searching through the system for accidental deaths approximately twenty years ago."

"Ironic, isn't it?" Riley wondered, with a crook of a smile. "That boy probably lost his twin right about the time you graduated."

"Amazing how things connect together." Reid said, reaching into his pocket. "I almost forgot… I brought you something."

She watched as Reid pulled out a shiny red apple, just like the ones from the break room. It was such a simple gesture, but said more about his love than even she could describe. "Thank you," She said, tears filling her eyes. "But actually, I'm not very hungry right now."

"Eat it later." He said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She nodded, setting the fruit beside her tepid tea. She wished they could just stay like this. Just lean on him while he wrapped here in his arms until she fell asleep. She was feeling pretty tired right now.

"So…" Reid began slowly. He really wasn't sure what to say. This conversation was a first for him. He stated the obvious with a boyish giggle, "We're having a baby."

Riley had a bad jealous streak. She'd been bitterly jealous of Lila Archer. She was jealous when she saw girls flirting or even just eyeing her husband up and down. And, though she'd never admit it, she was envious of Emily, JJ, and Garcia for getting to be with him when she couldn't… but this was the first time she'd ever been jealous of her own husband. He was so happy… why couldn't she feel like that, too?

"I, uh… I'm kind of the last to know about our news, I discovered." Reid said lightly, catching her eye.

Riley was stunned, "Wait, Morgan knows? I didn't tell him."

"I guess Emily did." Reid explained with a shrug. "It doesn't matter, the point is I know and… oh, I can't stop smiling."

"I can see that." Riley answered, her expression light and false. "You look like your jaw is wired that way."

"I can't help it!" He chuckled. "I'm just so happy."

He was starting to notice she, however, wasn't smiling. He could tell everything about how she was feeling from her eyes… those beautiful brown eyes. They weren't sparkling with their usual diamond dust. The flame that normally glowed in them had gone out. They were dark and hollow… like she was dead inside.

It had been a long stressful day, maybe she was just stressed right now, what with everything that had happened. Her whole life was stable this morning and now, it's up in the air. In a few months, their world would change forever. She just needed to relax… who better to do that than he?

"You know," Reid said, taking her hand. "I, um… I'm trying to think about when it… happened… The only time I can think where we might have had a slip up is… that morning."

"Which morning?" Riley asked, her mind not as sharp as his. She was trying to think back, but eight weeks was a long time.

"You remember… that morning, about two months ago." He grinned. At that, he leaned down and kissed her neck lovingly. "I never thought so much good could come out of being late for work."

"Oh," Riley loved the feel of his kisses, but her brain was too congested to enjoy any of life's pleasures right now. "Yeah… that must have been it. You would know better than I would."

"I guess we'll really know once we go to a doctor… but that would be my prediction." He said, smiling again, begging her silently to be happy with him. Why was she so upset? Sure there was a lot to figure out, but it wasn't like they were just dating. They were married and in love and had enough money saved to start a family. Everything was going to be just fine. Better then.

He attempted to assure her just that. "When we're done with this case, I am going to find the best obstetrician in the DC area… the apartment is my big concern right now. By the time the baby comes, I think it'll be about… February. The apartment's much too cold for an infant, we'll have to get a new place before then. I know we were going to wait awhile, but… I think we should think about buying a place."

"Spencer, stop!" Riley exclaimed, holding her hand in front of him as if he wouldn't understand. "This is not what I meant by talking."

Slight aghast, "Okay… what did you want to talk about?"

It had to be obvious. He had to know what this was about, and either he wouldn't let himself think it or he was trying to ignore it. Riley met his eyes, seeing the elation flicker a bit… afraid of what was coming.

She couldn't make herself say it. Needing a deep breath, she turned away, leaning on her knees. She took a minute to calm her nerves, on the verge of losing her temper again, just like she'd done to Emily in the bathroom.

"Riley," Reid said soothingly. She let out a light sob as he put his arm around her. "I know this is a bit of a shock, but… please don't be so upset. This is a lot to handle, but everything is going to be great."

She was getting sick of hearing everyone say that. They had her best interest at heart, yes, but no one was looking at this in her perspective. No one could understand how she felt, none of these people could help her.

"Riley…" Reid said slowly, his hand lightly caressing her back. She wouldn't even look at him, like she was going to stay trapped in her bubble until he went away. "Look at me."

A stubborn woman, few people could make her do something against her will, but Spencer was one of them. Though she didn't want to, she obeyed and sat up, turning to him with tear flowing eyes.

Reid was suddenly frightened as he saw her face. This was a sight he hadn't seen in many years… he'd seen that face in Seattle… she wanted to run. In a metaphorical sense this time.

He had a suspicion, and he had never in his life wanted to be more wrong. "You… you do want the baby? Don't you?"

"It's not about what I want." She explained, looking away. "Would you be angry if you knew I thought about having an abortion?"

Reid's jaw dropped a bit, looking at her in amazement… and hurt. He couldn't speak for several minutes, until he could gather his composure.

It broke her heart to see the tears form in her eyes at that statement. He didn't know what to feel about that. "Tell me… how long did you think about that before you made a decision?"

After a bit of hesitation, Riley answered, "I'm not so sure I've made a decision."

The truth shattered around them like a rock through a stained glass window. Reid was breathing heavy, as if he were about to hyperventilate. The tears were welling in his eyes as he pulled away from her… as if she just told him her love for him had been a lie since the very first moment they kissed.

He got to his feet, pacing a moment as he processed this news. Riley watched him with caution, hating herself more and more. She wasn't worthy to have his baby.

At last, he turned back around. "Riley, you can't do that." He said seriously, almost desperately.

"You can't tell me that." Riley said. "I am so scared and confused right now… I don't need you shoving your ideas down my throat, too."

"I don't know about the others, who I'm assuming you're referring to when you say that, but I have the right to." He said, slightly forceful. "That's my baby in there… we have to make this decision together."

"Not according to US law, we don't!" Riley cried, standing up. "It's my body… I'm the one who gets to make the choice. I didn't say I was going to do it either, because-"

"Good, because you're not doing it!" Reid interrupted.

"Just listen," She said, wanting to explain both sides of this before an argument broke out, about everything JJ had told her, the video she'd seen, how scared she was to fight off John for fear he'd hit her in the stomach… it had to mean something. Maybe he could help her shed some light on it.

"I am listening!" Reid yelled. "And what I'm hearing is the woman I love, the woman I've willingly given up my life for doesn't love me enough to want my child."

"Spencer, that's not true!" Riley cried. She wanted to rush to him and pull him into her arms, but she didn't trust herself. She held back. All she wanted was for them to sit down and talk about this rationally… if anyone could get her to see the light, it was him.

Reid turned, unable to look at her for a moment. He didn't want to break down and cry. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg her not to do this, not to ruin what he knew would be the greatest thing that ever happened to them. He couldn't, however… he was much too stubborn to break down so easily.

"It's not going to happen." Reid said as he turned around. The tears were still there, but his expression was hard and mean. "I know you're scared, but… you will get over that. You are going to have this baby. End of discussion."

She glared at him. "What if I don't want it?"

"Riley, we either have this baby or there won't be a 'we' anymore." He stated plainly.

Her jaw fell to the floor. "Spencer," She wept, tears falling down. "You wouldn't… leave me. We took vows… to be together forever."

"Yeah," Reid said, and with that went to the door. Wrenching it open, "You also took a vow you would never seduce your patients… we know how seriously you take your vows, don't we?"

With that, he slammed the door so forcefully, it vibrated through the frosted glass. Riley stood stunned for a moment unsure what had just happened. How dare he? He was not allowed to use that as in argument… he never had before.

Her temper left behind in the office, Riley hurried after him into the crowded bull pen.

"I cannot believe you just threw that in my face!" Riley screamed at his turned back. Reid stopped in his tracks to listen, as did everyone else in the room, which included the team minus Emily, Alexa, and his two former rivals. "I didn't take advantage of anyone! It took two people to commit that act, Spencer, and one of them was you!"

Reid turned around. His eyes were an inferno, staring at her like he could actually make her burst into flames. "I have always been there for. I've endured so much of your insanity over the years, and I realize I've been far from perfect, but no matter what, I was there. No matter how many times you pushed me away. At first I was strong, but you've broken me down. I'm not so sure I can do it anymore. Everyone has a breaking point, Riley, and I think I've reached it."

"You can't do this to me!" She screamed, crying. "You promised we'd be together forever! That we would grow old together! And you promised me that this wouldn't be a deal breaker!"

"Killing our baby was not in that agreement!" Reid shouted, not even caring who was watching. What anyone was thinking. His rage was so far out of control, he wasn't sure what he might do. He wouldn't hit her, that was at least a given; anything short was anybody's guess.

"So this is it?" Riley demanded. "Either I have this baby against my will or I lose everything."

Reid took a deep breath, growing weary of yelling. "I love you… but I can't be with a woman who aborts my baby… not when I know everything she's certain about is wrong. The decision is up to you."

Furious, her breathing stammered as she walked closer to him. Their eyes locked. It was blatant how much they loved each other, more than anything. They would both die for each other at a moment's notice… but if they couldn't agree on this, making a life work would be impossible.

She let out a deep, stammering breath and shook her head. "You should have just gone to work that morning."

With that, she pushed past him, through the crowd which seemed to part naturally for her, and out to meet Emily at the car. Reid watched her retreat… fairly certain he'd just lost her forever.

"Spence," JJ said cautiously.

"Don't," He said, looking back at his remaining group of friends. "Nothing any of you can say will make this better."

With that, he headed out the same way Riley had gone, though they were sure he wasn't going after her. The team remained clustered together, not wanting to branch off and be dragged into the rumors and gossip that were sure to grow from this. The amused expressions on Jeremy's and Harper's faces made all of them sick. Alexa looked both stunned and empathetic… her heart went out to Reid.

After awhile, the interested crowd began to break off. They needed to get back to work, but the subject of conversation wasn't going to die down easily.

"They're going to get through this right?" Garcia asked, looking around at the others as they gathered together. She'd been so worried about what this would do to her friends and now, after what they'd just seen, she was absolutely petrified.

Garcia wasn't the only one. "Yeah, Baby Girl, don't worry." Morgan said, sounding much more confident than he felt. "It's Reid and Riley… they always make it through, they'll do it again this time."

JJ was much more realistic. "What if they don't?" The other four turned to her, wondering where her sense of hope and confidence was. "I mean, marriages break up for a lot less. This may be something they can't get through."

They had never felt so helpless in their lives. Even when the couple was lost and dying in the woods, they had more to give. But maybe they weren't supposed to help… maybe this was just something the two had to figure out on their own.

* * *

><p>"There you are," Emily said as she sat in the SUV parked outside the precinct. "So? Did you talk with Reid?"<p>

"Yep," Riley snapped bitterly as she climbed into the front seat.

"And?" She asked hopeful. "Did you guys talk it out? At least start to?"

"Yeah," She nodded, staring straight out the windshield, her arms folded over her as she slumped in her seat. The tears in her eyes glowed as bright as Vegas itself. "Change of plans… we're going to get a divorce instead."

The chips had hit the fan.


	21. Time

A/N: Sorry this took so long. A few days ago, my dad deleted all my stories off my computer. So, I cried about 3 hours (not even joking about that) and then spent the last few days trying to rebuild my work. I tried to get it to you as soon as possible. Sorry again for the delay. Enjoy. :/

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Hotch and Morgan were searching through the precinct for a sign of Reid. This time, he'd left both his bag and his cell phone in the conference area and they knew he wouldn't travel too far without at least one of them. He had to be nearby.<p>

After checking most of the floors inside, they thought perhaps he might be outside again. The men journey out there, looking for a trace of him, but there wasn't a soul in sight.

"I just can't believe them." Morgan said as he followed Hotch over to the terrace again. It was empty. "Both of them are so damn stubborn, why the hell can't they just sit down and talk about this."

"If you ask me, maybe it would be better if Riley terminates." Hotch said, turning around, looking for a clue where the young man could be hiding.

"It'll break up their marriage, Hotch." Morgan pointed out. Hotch had noticed the street turned into an alley between the police station and Western Union on the other side. He set off for there and Morgan followed. "How could that possibly be better than having the baby?"

Stopping abruptly, Hotch looked back at Morgan. The saddest expression he could ever remember on his unit chief's usually so impassive face glowed in the light of the street lamp. "Have you ever tried to make a marriage work when neither one can agree? I did and I lost my wife… Riley's parents did and look what it did to her."

With that, he hurried over to the alley. Morgan, who had never been in love before now, couldn't comprehend how devastating that would be. He couldn't decide which was worse, getting divorced or living in a loveless marriage.

But Reid and Riley weren't loveless. They were very much in love. If they could just calm down and discuss this like civilized adults, baby or not, they could work through this. If only they weren't so unbelievably stubborn.

About ten feet away from the alley, they heard a loud crash. The men ran over and, sure enough, there was Reid taking out his frustrations on an innocent garbage can.

"Kid," Morgan called as they approached him cautiously. "You've got to calm down."

"Leave me alone." Reid cried, kicking the can a few more times. One had already been knocked over, spilling out the remnants of the police station's trash. They didn't envy the sanitation engineer who had to clean that up.

"Reid, stop." Hotch ordered. "Just calm down, talk this out with us."

"There's nothing to talk about!" Reid cried, at last stopping his assault and turning to his friends. His clothes were ruffled and sweat was shining all over his face. "The woman I thought loved me doesn't want my child. It is what it is."

"We know you're upset right now," Hotch said, "But losing your temper and blowing up at people is not going to help, it's only going to hurt you. Will you just talk it out with us?"

Reid looked to the cloudy Las Vegas sky, trying to catch his rapid breath, which would not slow down regardless. "I'm too upset to talk right now."

"Just for a few minutes." Morgan urged. "If you do it, and you still don't feel better, I'll go drag Bundle out here, hold his arms behind his back and you can be two for two."

To his surprise, that seemed to ease his frustration a bit. He didn't say a word, but they knew he agreed to talk.

A long silence followed. Reid didn't hit the garbage cans anymore, but started pacing the width of the alley. His hands ran repeatedly through his short chestnut hair, rumpling it more and more with every stroke.

"You know," He finally said, looking to neither of them in particular. "Yesterday morning, I woke up and I was in love… I was happy. There was nothing about my life I wanted to change… and then everything got thrown up in the air. I've never felt so insecure in my job because of today… and now I see, despite everything she said to me… my wife doesn't even love me."

"That is not true, Reid." Hotch argued. He'd been leaning on the brick wall, but stood straight and tall, as if to appear more powerful, and therefore his words should be revered. "She loves you… this isn't about you, this is about her. Her fears, her worries. If she were having anyone else's baby, she wouldn't be this confused… she'd have decided immediately to terminate, not to mention she wouldn't have told anyone. The fact that she can't make up her mind says how much she loves you."

"Yeah, well…" Reid wasn't ready to believe that, even though there was a little part inside that knew it was true. "It doesn't matter how she feels… if she aborts… I don't know if things can ever be the same between us."

Morgan didn't know what to say, how can you convince a man to stay with his wife if he didn't want to, even if they loved each other? Hotch could always be counted upon, though, thank goodness.

He didn't respond right away. This was something Reid didn't know, frankly because Riley didn't know either, or she did and never mentioned it. It wasn't exactly something that would warm the heart of a person.

"Reid… you know, you have a few traits that are similar to Riley's father." He said.

"Yeah, she's told me that." Reid said. "That's probably why she thinks I'll hate her if we have a child."

"That's not why I bring this up." He corrected. Hotch took a few steps closer to him. "I say that because over the years, as little as I knew of the man, I have seen a few things that you reflect about him… probably why Riley was attracted to you in the first place… but today, you showed a side of yourself that was exactly like him. And trust me, it is not flattering."

"What? I yelled at her?" Reid asked, his bitterness and hatred leaking into his voice. Hotch had no right to lecture him. "Because I threatened to leave her?"

"Yes." Hotch unexpectedly answered. "You said the exact same thing to her that her father said to her mother when they had their unexpected pregnancy."

That did it. Reid was suddenly softened, shrinking back as the anger began to ebb away. Hotch was pleased at the reaction, exactly as he wanted, and began to explain.

"I'm sure you know Evan and Mary Ann were teenagers when they got pregnant, almost done with high school. Riley's mother had a lot of problems, her father was an abusive drunk and that filled her with a lot abandonment and rebellious issues. She needed Riley's father in order to feel secure. And he knew that… and he fed on that. Riley may have loved her father, but she doesn't realize what a leech he was… he survived on the misery of others. He was a bully, not unlike John Hillman in there."

"So they got pregnant and… Riley's mother didn't want her?" Reid asked, shuttering at the parallels.

"It's not that she didn't want children, but she wasn't ready for them. She had dreams, she wanted to see the world and have adventures before she settled down. Evan didn't want to leave the town he was comfortable in and knew, if she became a little more confident, she'd leave him behind. And then he'd have no one… at least that's what Sean told me, when we set up Riley's college interview." He explained. "And then she got pregnant. Abortion was a little more taboo then, but it was legal. Mary Ann felt bad about it, but she knew she had to do it if she was going to have the life they wanted… so when Evan threatened to leave her, she was too scared to live without him. She had the baby and… all of a sudden her life was over. She couldn't take that… her resentment manifested and she focused it on the only thing that couldn't fight back."

"Riley," Reid muttered. He paused a moment. He, who was always there to rescue Riley when she was in danger, hated to hear this, wishing he could have saved her then. "But that's her mother's problem, not Riley's."

"Reid, you have a mother." Morgan spoke up. "And I have a mother and Hotch has a mother, all of which love us unconditionally. I know if I'm lost and alone, I always have my mom. I've seen you with yours. Mentally ill, yes, but she adores you. You're her whole world. Riley doesn't have that… can you imagine how empty she must feel, knowing the person who gave her life doesn't even want her?"

"She told her that every day." Added Hotch, "Maybe not in the literal sense all the time, but… with gestures. Yelling at her for things she didn't do, no presents on Christmas, both of them ignored her almost entirely on her birthday… can you imagine how hard that must have been? Knowing your own parents think creating you was a mistake?"

Taking a deep breath, "Okay, I understand all this. But Riley has changed a lot over the years… surely she can see that our baby isn't a mistake. An accident, perhaps, but not a mistake."

"You really don't get it, do you?" Hotch asked. He was suddenly sounding so deflated, like this might be a lost cause. "She knows the baby isn't a mistake… she thinks it'll be a mistake to be a mother. She doesn't want to abort because she doesn't want it. She does want it. She loves it… she loves it so much, she wants to save it from the outcome of having her as a mother."

"So you think if Riley wants to terminate, I should let her?" Reid wondered.

"I'm saying you should talk about it with her." Hotch specified. "She's scared right now, Reid. More scared than she's been in a long time. She feels trapped and out of control… you know what she does when that happens."

He knew exactly what she did. The whole team did, considering they were forced to deal with the aftermath when she left Reid behind.

"She is terrified and confused and very overwhelmed. Riley needs someone who is going to support her. One person who won't tell her that this is wrong… just one person who will listen to her side of the story. That's what you should be doing, because if she doesn't find that soon, she will run. She will go and take care of this herself and by the time you find her, it will be too late. And you'll never be able to go back to what you had."

Reid was ready to lose it, he gripped at his hair, almost furious enough to yank it out. Looking up, he screamed, "What am I supposed to do? Just stand beside her and pretend this isn't killing me?"

"You don't have to pretend, all you have to do is support her." He explained. "You can give her this ultimatum if you want, but Riley is a lot stronger than her mother. If it's what she wants, no one is going to stand in her way."

"The thing is, Reid," Morgan added, "If Riley has to chose, you're not going to get this baby either way. Do you really want to lose her, too?"

He didn't have an answer to that, but it appeared he'd finally been broken. His anger had dissipated and he could finally think with a clear head.

"You consider that on your own for awhile." Hotch said sternly. "You know we'll support you… but make sure you know what you really want when you make this choice."

With that, Hotch turned and headed back to the entrance, not even waiting for Morgan. He caught Reid's eye one more time, raising his eyebrows in a way that said Hotch was right and he agreed. He, too, turned and left the confused young man alone… his perfect world in shambles around him.

* * *

><p><em>She just wanted them to stop fighting. They'd been screaming for hours now, growing steadily louder and meaner. Scared and worried, she'd grabbed her teddy bear and hopped out of bed, hurrying to the only place she felt safe.<em>

_Emily buried her face in the soft fur of her bear, her tears dripping down. They hated each other, that's why they were always yelling. There should be something she should be doing to make this better. If her mommy and daddy weren't so busy taking care of her, maybe they would love each other again._

_The yelling was getting closer; they must be coming downstairs. Emily curled herself as much into a ball as possible, stifling her heavy breathing so they wouldn't hear. She wished she could tell time, but even if she could, she didn't have a clock nor a watch to tell her how late it was. All she knew was she should be in bed. If Mommy found her in here, she'd be in so much trouble._

_Her parents were screaming at each other as they moved past Emily's hiding place. It didn't take long before they moved out of the room. They were name calling and blaming each other, they weren't even trying to use real words. Why couldn't they just talk to each other?_

_She jumped and shrieked lightly as the front door slammed shut. Emily couldn't stop crying, her bear's fur dampened from her tears. There was silence in the house now. Maybe Mommy and Daddy left her here… since she was the problem._

_Muffled footsteps sounded nearby, coming closer to her hiding spot. She pressed herself into the corner, as if it would turn her invisible. They wouldn't find her here._

_A light knock on her cabinet sounded as someone called. "Emily."_

_It was Daddy. She didn't answer, clamping a hand over her mouth so he wouldn't hear her breathing._

"_Emily," he said again, followed by a streak of light coming in as the little door opened. Reluctantly, Emily pulled her little head up to look at the concerned face of her father, discovering her crouched in her favorite hiding place. The bottom cabinet of the pantry, where she shoved some of the boxes of freeze dried food aside so as to nestle away from the unpleasantness of the world._

_George Prentiss gave his little girl a small smile. "What are you doing in there, young lady?"_

"_You and Mommy are fighting." She moaned, refusing to move._

"_I know, I'm sorry," He said kindly, "but Mommy left for a little while, so everything's fine now. What don't you come out of there?"_

"_No," She muttered, tears still falling down her face._

"_Please?" He begged. "I'm really sad, I could use a hug."_

_That request, Emily couldn't deny. Her limber five year old body wiggled out of the cabinet into her father's waiting arms. He turned from his squatting position to sit on the floor, pulling his little girl into his lap._

"_That's my baby girl." He smiled, pushing back some of her raven hair. She looked a lot like her mother, but he could see some of himself reflected in her. Like his dark hair and bright eyes._

_She rested her head on his shoulder, her fingers playing with the paws of her bear. "Why were you and Mommy fighting?"_

"_Well," George said, holding her close. "It's kind of hard to explain. Daddy and Mommy have some problems… and we're not dealing with them very well."_

"_I'm sorry," She sniffled._

"_Why are you sorry?" George asked, easily lifting her so as to see her face. "Baby Girl, this is not your fault, do you understand? You are nothing but my perfect little girl. The problems Mommy and Daddy have are grown up problems, and kids aren't responsible for what grown ups deal with. Okay?"_

_She nodded, not so sure she believed him. "Do you still love me?"_

"_Do we still love you?" He asked. "Of course we love you, you're our baby, Emily. I love you and Mommy loves you and no matter what, we will always love our little girl."_

_She was too young to understand what he meant by 'no matter what', and because of that, she gave a smile. "Okay. So no more yelling, right?"_

_He gave a weak smile. "We'll try."_

_Emily, on the other hand, smiled widely. "Good."_

"_Good," He cried, his smile getting a bit stronger as he reached in to give her a bunch of sweet kisses that made her giggle. "Now… does Miss Emily know what time it is?"_

"_Um… time for ice cream?" She asked, hopeful._

"_No, it's time to go back to bed." He corrected, unable to help but laugh. Easily, George got himself off the floor. He carried Emily easily in his arms, heading over to the back staircase. "Come on, Princess, I'll read you another story before I tuck you back in."_

_Emily agreed, chattering happily now with her daddy as they went up to her bedroom. How easily children could forget how things upset them. Adults really could learn from them._

Divorce. Just hearing that word haunted Emily by her own troubled childhood. When her parents were always arguing, and all Emily wanted was for them to be happy. She could never remember her parents being happy together. Her father never seemed to let his marital problems to intercept his time with her until he went away while her mother seemed rather annoyed by everything, having very little time for her young daughter. No wonder Emily was so distant as an adult. As a child, that's all she knew.

Riley was slouched in her passenger seat as low as her seatbelt would allow. Her eyes were covered with her hand. Emily glanced at her, her mind coming back to the moment. Riley was really lost right now and Emily had to do something. Maybe it wouldn't help, but no one would know until she tried.

"I'm sorry," Emily began, looking back out the windshield. "I know you're going through a hard time right now."

"Yeah…" She moaned, pulling her hand away. Her face was covered in streams of tears and they weren't stopping anytime soon. "I'm so confused and the one person I thought I might be able to lean on… I mean, I never expected him to accept what I was thinking… but I thought he'd at least understand."

"He's just upset." Emily made clear. "Riley, he loves you so much. He wants to have a family with you, something I know he never thought of before you came along, let alone wanted. He just can't comprehend what you're feeling… and in that way, you thinking of terminating is like saying you don't love him. I know that's not true, I understand how you're feeling."

"Oh, please." Riley moaned, turning away from her. "How could you possibly know, Emily?"

A long hesitation followed before Emily stated, "I know."

Stunned, Riley turned to Emily, who was staring straight ahead. She couldn't believe it was true for a moment. "Oh my God… when?"

"I was fifteen." Emily enlightened, feeling like crying herself. "I was living in Rome with my mother… I just wanted to be accepted… and you know. You were a teenage girl once… you'll do anything to make it possible."

Riley knew, but had never been so lucky. The daughter of the two town drunks did not get accepted in high school, especially when she came to school with bruises and second hand clothes. Keeping her head down was her choice of action, at least instead of ridicule, she was mostly ignored. Harvard was the only reason she participated in school activities at all, otherwise she would have been a ghost.

However, she agreed and Emily continued. "I didn't know what to do… I had a friend who helped me through it and I was lucky to have him." She decided to omit most of the story, it wasn't any concern of Riley's and Emily wasn't too fanatical on reliving it anyway. "I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't even tell my mom… I had no other options, Riley."

"Emily, it was your choice, you did nothing wrong." Riley assured. "As long as you did it safely."

"I did." She nodded. "It was legal and legitimate… and I can still have children. To me, it didn't matter what anyone else said, it didn't matter that the father abandoned me… I just knew it was what I had to do."

She glanced at Riley, making sure she understood that part of the story. It was crucial. "Look at the life I have now. I have an excellent career… friends who have been more of a family than my blood relatives ever were, with the exception of my father… and an incredible, handsome man who adores me… I know what I did was the right choice. I got a good life out of it and I didn't ruin the lives of those around me. That was my hope when I did it."

Riley didn't seem nearly as upset now, but she eyed Emily with caution. This wasn't an assurance that an abortion was that right thing to do… there was more to this story. Without a word, she waited.

"But…" She said almost in a whisper. Tears were leaking onto her lashes. Emily couldn't look at her friend anymore. Her attention went straight out to the road. Controlling the car forced her to control her emotions, "there are times… every once in awhile… I can't help but think what that baby… my baby… would have become."

"It would be about your age now… come to think of it." She continued, a tear welling right at corner of her eye. "Who knows what kind of life it would have led, what it could have done in the world… I'll never know. I couldn't have had that baby… but a little part of me wishes I could have. Now that I'm older and I don't have many fertile years left… a part of me does regret it."

This was the crucial moment. Slowly, she reached up to dab away the tears with the corner of her sleeve. She pulled up to an intersection, pausing at the stoplight, enabling her to look at Riley. "So that tells me that if I, a young girl who had no other options, feels this way every once in awhile, you will every single day. You will hate yourself if you do this. Maybe not immediately, but soon. That regret will eat you alive… I can't bear to see that happen to you. Not when I know you're fears are completely… wrong."

"They're not wrong!" Riley cried. "My mother once told me the biggest mistake of her life was having a child… what if I felt like that someday."

"You're not your mother." Emily explained. "She had her own problems and I'm sorry you caught up in them. Really, Rye, I am… but don't deprive your life of wonderful experiences because of her."

Her breathing shallow, Riley slumped back in her chair. "Emily… I just don't know… there has to be something wrong with me. Here's this great man who loves me, who wants to have a family with me… you see him… who wouldn't want to have babies with him? Obviously, if I'm constantly trying to smash my biological clock against the wall, there has to be something wrong with me… is it really smart to have a child if I feel like this?"

"You're just afraid." She assured. "You don't have to know right now, you still have about a month to decide. Just… give yourself some time to let it sink in. A week. One week where you don't constantly shove your feelings down, but try to look at this from both points of view. You've been saying you're pregnant, I'm sure you've thought it over and over… have you once thought of yourself as having a baby. Your baby. Have you even tried attaching yourself to the life growing inside you?"

No she hadn't… she was too afraid to.

"I want to hear you say it's your baby." Emily demanded.

"The light's green." Riley muttered.

"I'm not moving until you say it." She ordered. "Say it's your baby. Tell me you're having a baby."

"Emily-"

"Just say it!" She yelled, taking even herself by surprise.

"Fine!" Riley yelled back. "I'm having a baby!"

Now Riley was the one that surprised herself… that came out almost naturally. "It's… it's my baby…"

It didn't fully convince her… but things had changed now.

"There," Emily smiled. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Maybe Emily was right. She wasn't making any decisions right now… but maybe Riley needed to think this through a little more, and from varying angles… and not let her fears control her so much.

"I'm not saying I'm going to have it." She affirmed. "But… I'll try getting used to the idea first."

"Good," Emily said, and with that, went to drive out into the intersection.

"Like you said… I have some time."

That was the last thing Riley said… before another vehicle collided into her side of the car.

* * *

><p>AN: And there's the plot twist.


	22. Reid's Decision

What just happened? Riley couldn't make sense of anything. A minute ago she was talking to Emily… now nothing around her made sense. Everything was blurry and foggy, with a blinding pain, something sticky and warm sliding down the side of her face next to the window.

"_Riley,"_ a voice called in the distance, and something gently brushed her arm, but her brain couldn't register enough to respond. _"Riley… answer me… are you alright?"_

She wouldn't answer, though she tried. The pain in the rest of her body was radiating through her… her face was sore… and her leg felt like it had been stepped on… and her stomach felt like she'd been hit with a baseball bat.

Oh, God, no. She gasped in fear… her stomach. It didn't matter what happened, all she cared about was what happened next. How badly was she hurt? What would she need to do to get better? Was it… too late…

"Riley!" Emily cried, finally getting her attention. She was coming back to Earth and turned to face her friend in the driver's seat. "Are you alright?"

She was too scared to talk, her body shaking so bad. All she could do was shake her head. Tears were filling her eyes… no… this couldn't be happening.

"It's okay… the… uh…" She winced in pain. "The driver of the truck is… calling for help, it'll be okay."

She was holding her arm awkwardly, like it had been disconnected as easily as a rag doll. Riley nodded, closing her eyes as tears leaked out. She couldn't speak, but her mind was screaming into the silent night. _Don't hurt the baby… please, don't hurt the baby…_

* * *

><p><em>Even though Christmas was days ago, the streets were still littered with bright twinkling lights and fresh evergreen with red satin bows. There had been a light snow yesterday, but the streets were clear. It gave the District of Columbia such a magical appeal.<em>

_Christmas had come at a very awkward time for Reid and Riley. The wedding was only two weeks away, just after the new year. They were both looking forward to it excitedly, ecstatic to become husband and wife. Since they were spending a good bit of money on the event – and the honeymoon to London there after – they agreed not to exchange presents for the holiday. It didn't matter, spending their lives together was the best present of all._

_Today had been a very hard for Reid, though. Today was a very important day to him… and he had to pretend like it meant nothing at all. That was usually the way she liked it. It was just another day to her, and she preferred to let it pass. He wasn't so sure what the story was there, but Riley never wanted any kind of recognition or gesture to signify the event. That was killing him, because there was nothing he would want more than to overly adore the woman he loved on her birthday._

_It wasn't though Riley didn't like birthdays. She had always made Reid's special, buying him some present he'd never even asked for, completely perplexed how she knew he'd want it. His 30th had been the best. She knew he was a bit depressed for turning 30, a little bothered that perhaps he wasn't doing enough with his life, but Riley had made that better. Sure, he had lots of accomplishments and had achieved things in the world most people couldn't even dream of… but that wasn't what made him special. She made a point to tell him that._

_So she made all his friends as well as his father write a letter about how much they cared about him and the impact he had on their lives. She'd even taken one of the more touching letters his mother had sent him with some of his baby pictures of the two together (courtesy of his father) and put it together in a decorated scrapbook. On the last page was a letter from Riley, telling him how much better her life was because of him, how she would never be able to repay him for saving her in so many ways… that because he loved her, she had a reason to live. Reid was so touched by this, not only by her words but everyone he knew. He could see the effect he really had on the world… and it was a lot better than making history. Because these were the people who really mattered._

_He knew he had to return the favor. Tonight, he was breaking with the tradition. If she knew about it before hand, she'd refuse to be apart of it. He wasn't sure how she was going to respond… but once they got there and she could see just how special her birthday was… he was sure she would love it._

"_We're late," Riley muttered, looking at the clock. He had told her they had to be there at 7:30 and it was already twenty to eight. Not that it mattered; the birthday girl couldn't be late. "You should have gotten into the shower sooner."_

"_I would have if someone had let me." He cried. "Wasn't it you who dragged me into the bedroom right after we got back from my fitting?"_

_Indeed, the two had spent the morning at the tailor where Reid had his last fitting before the wedding. "I couldn't help it. You just looked so sexy in that tux. If that rental didn't cost $100 for damages, I would have ripped it off you right there in the store."_

"_Two more weeks," He smiled, reaching over to take her hand. "And I wouldn't worry, I don't think JJ's looking forward to this party Will's dragging her to. Any excuse to spend less time there, I think she'll be grateful for."_

"_Well, happy or not, I'm glad we get to spend the night with the boys." She smiled. "I just love Joey, he's such a precious little thing."_

"_You should have seen Henry at that age." He mentioned. "I think he was even cuter."_

"_He gets that from his godfather." She teased, reaching over to give him a pinch on his cheek._

_They made a left and drove down a few blocks. They paused at an intersection before a large white Victorian looking house with a bright red door. Riley leaned over to look out the driver's window, as she always did when they were here._

"_I just love that house." Riley said with a dreamy smile. "It's so perfect, like a dollhouse."_

_Reid turned to look at himself. It did look like a lovely place to live. "It is nice."_

"_Do you think we'll ever live in a place like that?" She asked with a grin, leaning back in her seat once again._

_Turning to her, Reid met her eyes. "I'm certain of it."_

_She smiled, reaching over to take his hand as Reid continued through the stop sign. "Oh, hey," He said, glancing at her once again. They were almost there, but he couldn't resist any longer. "I almost forgot… happy birthday."_

_He smile faded a bit, but she tried to be grateful. "Thank you," She barely whispered, turning towards the windshield._

_That was it, he didn't say another word about it. Neither of them did._

_JJ's house never failed to have such elegant decorations for Christmas, with icicle lights glittering on the porch and a large wreath on the window. Reid pulled into the driveway, parked right next to Will's car. It didn't matter if he blocked him in or not, but he still had to keep up the pretense._

_He climbed out of the car and Riley followed suit. He did a quick look around the street, pleased to see no one had parked around the house. Even in the night, she might be able to recognize their cars. She walked over and Reid took her gloved hand, leading her to the door. He braced himself as he knocked four times, specifically._

_It took an awfully long time for JJ to come to the door. Riley was shivering, leaning closer to her fiancé in order to keep warm. Reid wrapped her in his arms, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. A few years ago, he'd never believe it were possible to love a person this much… yet here they were._

_Finally, JJ opened the door. She looked very nice, though not as dressed up as someone might think going to a party. "There you guys are," She said with a smile._

_Reid caught her eye for a moment, sharing a secret the unsuspecting girl didn't know. "Sorry we're late, we lost track of time."_

"_That's all right, come on in." She said, stepping aside. The walked into the front hall, taking off their coat and gloves._

"_Are the boys still awake?" Riley wondered, setting her gloves with her purse._

"_Oh, yeah, they're excited to see you." She said, trying to keep casual. "In fact… they're waiting for you both in the family room with Will."_

"_Let's go see them," Reid said, taking her hand again. He gave a loving smile as he led her down the hall to the back of the house, knowing what was waiting for her down there._

_Reid managed to side step her so she'd have to walk through the closed door first. The lights were off in here when she stepped in, which was odd. Quickly, Riley flipped them on, shrieking with shock at the outcome._

"_Surprise!" The crowd of people called as they all jumped out of their hiding places. They took delight in the stunned expression on Riley's face who stumbled back, caught protectively by Reid._

_It took a moment for her to regain her composure. She couldn't put two and two together, why there were so many balloons and decorations around, why all of her and Spencer's friends were standing here, some even wearing party hats… tonight was nothing special._

"_What is this?" She finally managed to ask._

"_It's a surprise party!" Garcia, between Kevin and Morgan, explained. "For you, you silly goose!"_

"_It is your birthday, isn't it?" Emily grinned._

"_Uh… yeah," She managed to stammer. She couldn't look at anyone in the room, her heart still pounding from the shock._

"_Happy Birthday, Riley!" Rossi called._

"_Did we get you? Did you suspect this?" Morgan wondered curiously._

_All she could manage was a shake of her head. She looked so ashamed by all this… like she was lying and it actually wasn't her birthday. "No… I never expected something like this."_

"_It was all Reid's idea." Hotch insisted. "He's been planning this for months."_

_He had said it to give credit to the young boy, and he thought Riley would show him some gratitude, but she didn't. She looked to Reid with the coldest expression she'd ever seen. "Thank you, Spencer… uh," She looked back at the others. "Guys… I appreciate the party. It was very nice of all of you, but… it-it's not really my thing, so… I think I'm going to go home."_

_Shooting another bitter expression to Reid, she pushed past both him and Riley to head back down the hall._

"_Riley!" Reid called, but she wouldn't even look back. She quickly grabbed her coat and purse and rushed out, slamming the door._

"_That… wasn't the reaction any of us were hoping for." Emily noted._

"_I thought you said she'd like this!" JJ exclaimed, looking to Reid in horror. "We just humiliated her."_

"_It'll be alright." Reid assured, looking at everyone. Garcia was pulling off her hat sadly and everyone else felt very awkward to be standing here like this, in the middle of this somber scene and festive decorations. "Please, just give us a few minutes, I will bring her back."_

_Without another word, Reid rushed down to the front door. Forgoing his coat, he rushed out. He first intended to run to the car, but stopped short, not even over the threshold._

_Riley was sitting on the porch swing. Her arms were folded and she stared off into the snow covered lawn._

"_I thought you were leaving," Reid said as he stepped out, carefully closing the door._

"_I don't have the keys," Riley grumbled. "And even if I did, I wouldn't leave without you. _I_ wouldn't betray you like that."_

"_That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Reid said, going to sit beside her._

"_Get off my swing," She grumbled, not looking at him._

"_It's not your swing, it's JJ's. Will bought it for her for a… birthday present." He stuttered, wanting to laugh at the irony. The humor faded within a second and stared at her. She seemed so sad… on a day when she had every right to be happy._

"_What's wrong?" He asked. "I thought this would be a nice surprise. A party with all our friends, with presents and cake. Red velvet, your favorite."_

"_Spencer," Riley moaned. "It's a wonderful gesture… but you're wasting it on me. You're wasting the time of all our friends, I'm sure there's a thousand better things they could be doing right now than being forced into a party for me."_

"_Riley, no one's arm was twisted to come here!" Reid explained. "Everyone loved the idea, everyone's been pitching in to help me with it. I may have thought of it, but I never would have gotten it off the ground if it weren't for them… they're here because they care about you."_

_She didn't believe that, but she seemed to be coming around. "But why?" She asked. "Why did you do this? My birthday isn't special, it's just another day."_

_Reid was almost offended by that. "Not to me." With that, he inched closer to her on the swing. Right beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I love you so much… this day is not just special for you… it's special for me. I'm glad you were born Riley, I'm glad because of this day, you came into my life… maybe you didn't have anyone to tell you that, before, but you do now. And I would like to celebrate this fact with you… as well as all our friends."_

_Her guilt doubled as she looked back towards the window behind her. Maybe this wasn't so bad as she was making it out to be. "They're really here because they want to be?"_

"_Every single one of them." He smiled. "I mean… it's not really my thing, but-"_

"_Alright!" She cried, turning to face him. He laughed as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry… thank you for my party. It's so sweet of you."_

"_Happy birthday," He said softly, moving in to bring her into long kiss._

_As they pulled apart, Riley smiled and stood up. "I guess I have some explaining to do."_

_Reid got to his own feet, taking her hand for another time and they reentered the house. They walked slowly back into the family room where the doors stood open. The others sat inside, wondering what was going to happen next. Each one wondering if it would be better if they just left._

"_Look who's back," Reid called as they walked in._

_Everyone got up, looking at Riley expectantly. They didn't seem mad, but obviously they wanted an explanation._

_"I'm sorry, guys," Riley cried. "I didn't mean to run out, this is absolutely wonderful… it's just my birthday has never been anything worth celebrating… I've never really had friends who cared enough even to buy me a present, let alone give up a Saturday to celebrate with me."_

"_We didn't mean to embarrass you, Riley," Emily comforted. "Reid said you'd really like it."_

"_Well, I'm sure he thinks so, but I don't really know." She said glancing at him a moment with a smile. Looking back at the others, she shrugged. "I've never had a birthday party before."_

_The others were a bit stunned by that, but quickly recovered. "Well, then this is long overdue." Hotch said, holding his one arm out to her for a hug. "Come on, join the party."_

_With a bright smile, she hurried over to get a hug from him. Rossi followed suit, along with ones from each member of their intimate little party. Last of the group stood by the door, and Riley pulled him into the warmest hug of them all, whispering her love for him in his ear… it was the best birthday she'd ever had._

Reid kept thinking of that day. He'd broken a barrier because of that party, after which Riley wasn't so reluctant to celebrate anymore… he'd never given much thought as to why she hated the day she was born so much. He knew she'd had a troubled childhood, he assumed her birthday had never been properly remembered… but his mother never remembered his. She barely knew what day it was most of the time. It didn't matter, he still liked it.

To know your parents despised you so much, they practically disregarded you on the day you were born… that must have been heartbreaking.

After awhile, Reid calmed down. He came back inside and paced around the halls for about an hour, just contemplating what to do. He didn't want to lose this baby. He was already in love with it, a little life that he and Riley made because they loved each other so much. How many people could claim that, that they were alive not because of immature hormones or alcohol, but simply because of love?

That was it, though. They loved each other. Reid loved Riley more than anything. Morgan was right. Making Riley choose was a mistake. Marriage didn't come down to ultimatums. She was going to do what she needed to survive. Reid would lose everything… and he couldn't lose her again. He couldn't live without her.

He knew what he had to do. And as much as it would hurt… it was the right thing.

The squad room was surprisingly empty when he came in around ten that night. The team was still there, still working, a few officers were hunched over computers or making late phone calls, but for the most part everyone was gone.

"Where'd everybody go?" Reid asked as he approached JJ and Garcia, seated at one desk. Garcia was typing aimlessly on her laptop, searching for leads while JJ sat with her phone to her ear.

"Most of the officers had to get to their tours." JJ informed, looking at her phone annoyed. She put it back to her ear. "A few are in the On-Call room, resting in case we get a lead and need backup. Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi are in the conference room. We convinced the Bundles to leave, even though they were reluctant to go without getting Hillman out of jail."

"Not that they were very merry on paying the bail, mind you." Garica added.

"That's the truth," JJ muttered. "Mrs. Hillman didn't want to go, she wanted to be here in case we found Peter, but I convinced her the best thing she could do is go home, put her girls to bed, and get some rest. She'd just drive herself crazy here."

"Is, uh…" He cleared his throat slowly. Even though he'd come to terms with this, it was still going to be hard to get out. "Is Riley back yet? I need to talk to her."

"That's what I'm trying to find out," JJ said, closing her phone again. "They should have been back by now."

"Maybe they got some information at the Gereedo's place." Garcia said with hopefulness. "Anything they could tell them has got to be more than I can find on here. I'm so disappointed in my systems right now!"

"When you get in touch with them… just tell Riley we need to talk." Reid said.

"Spence," JJ said cautiously. "Maybe you should give her some space… I know you're upset, but do you really think she's processed this at all? She needs time to think."

"I know, I'm not… I don't want to force her into a decision, I just want us to talk." He ran a hand through his hair, realizing his shaking a bit. No doubt from overexertion. "And… tell her I love her."

At that, JJ smiled. "Sure thing."

With that, he made it over to the conference room. The girl's watched his retreat as JJ hit Emily's number again. After another few rings, she gasped as the call finally connected. "Emily, finally! Are you guys on your way… Em? Em, what's wrong?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the other men were hard at work, focused mainly on the victimology. "Something about this really sticks out." Morgan said. "There's no abuse on any of these kids. The first two boys were suffocated, so let's ignore those signs. The others were fed, there are no injuries on them… they don't even look like they've been crying… they seem in perfect condition, up until the point he kills them."<p>

"You're right, Morgan." Rossi said, reading another file. "There are no marks on these boys besides the cause of death."

"Thank you, Dave, I know I'm right." Morgan groaned, exhaustion and his stomach pain were creeping up together, creating a very nasty attitude. They had ordered dinner, but just the thought of food made him nauseas again. "The question is why?"

"No, there are no marks on these boys. None." Rossi plainly stated. "These boys weren't weak, underfed children. They were strong, they survived two months alone with this man. I'm not saying they could have fought him off, but they would have some strength. There are no bruises on their arms from being forced under water, there's no marks of being pushed out of the tree or the impact at hitting the ground a greater force… what if he's not killing them at all?"

"Someone has to be killing them, Dave." Hotch corrected.

Rossi wasn't so sure. "What if the boys are killing themselves?"

"Six year old boys do not commit suicide." Morgan argued.

"I don't mean suicide." He clarified. "The unsub is reliving his brother's death… but what if he's convinced them to do it themselves."

"What purpose would that serve, though?" Hotch wondered.

"Well, that's the real question." He replied. "His brother died and now he has to see the death again… over and over until he's satisfied. The odds are, he'll never be satisfied."

Reid had been standing in the entrance way, listening to their conversation. He knocked on the pillar beside him to grab their attention. All three sat up expectantly.

"Reid," Rossi cried, "Hope you don't mind we kept working."

He shook his head, a little ashamed he was too busy with his own problems to keep looking for Peter. He took a deep breath, staring at the floor as he said, "I made a decision."

"You did?" Morgan asked, interested.

He nodded silently. He took a moment to respond, breathing deeply to remain calm. "I really took what you said to heart and… and I know you're right."

Morgan let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Hotch seemed relieved by that, but kept his thoughts to himself for the time being. Rossi, obviously also brought up to speed on their conversation, waited with great concern.

Reid continued. "If Riley doesn't want the baby, nothing's going to change her mind. Either way, I'm not going to get it… but Riley's here now." He looked up to meet the gazes around him. Suddenly he felt stronger. These people were apart of him, he could feel their support even without their words. "I love her… and I did make a promise. For better or for worse… right now it's worse, but it'll get better."

"I know it's hard, Reid, but I think you're making the right decision." Rossi said compassionately.

"When Riley gets back… first I'm going to beg for her forgiveness and tell her she means more to me than anything… and I'll tell her I'll do whatever she wants to do." He paused, gasping for breath. Saying all this was so exhausting, he could only imagine what a wreck he'd be when he finally said this to her. "It kills me to do it, but if it's what she wants… I'll be there for her."

"I'm very proud of you, Reid." Hotch said kindly. "I know this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do… choosing this just shows how much she means to you. In the end, it'll be okay. This might even bring you closer together."

"Maybe," Reid said, disbelieving.

"You never know, kid." Morgan announced, "In a few years, she might change her mind. She might want a family later… when she's ready."

Reid didn't just doubt that, he was absolutely certain that would never happen. If Riley didn't want a baby now… she never would. He officially let go of that dream of ever having a family. Well… that was probably for the best.

He grabbed his cell from his pocket, checking his messages. No calls from Riley tonight, no surprise. "I'm going to try and call her, maybe I can get this forgiveness process in motion a bit faster."

"It's odd, shouldn't they be back by now?" Rossi wondered.

As if summoned by his question, JJ hurried into the room. "Guys."

Morgan asked, "What's up, JJ?"

She took a moment to catch her breath. The woman was nothing short of terrified, having just learned something awful. Reid's first thought was something was wrong with Will or the boys.

"I uh… I just got off the phone with Emily." She took a pause, still trying to come to terms with this. "She and Riley were in a car accident."

For a moment, Reid thought he was about to have a heart attack. His entire world just came to a screeching halt. He was speechless, not even sure how to speak, let alone find the right words.

He wasn't the only one. Certainly Hotch and Rossi were worried, but Morgan felt like he was in a dream state. Emily… in a car accident… it didn't matter if she just spoke to JJ, until he saw her for himself, his mind was automatically assuming the worst. She had to be alright… How could this have happened… he'd never even told her…

"Are… are they okay?" Reid finally managed.

"They're both hurt… but Emily said Riley's worse than she is. They were hit by a truck at an intersection, it impacted the passenger's side. She's conscious and she's not bleeding much, but they do think she's in a bit of shock. They're at the emergency room."

"Oh, God…" Reid moaned. This couldn't be happening… not when the last thing he said to her was he was going to leave her. "I… I…"

"Go," Hotch said immediately, saving him from trying to form a complete thought. Right now, he just needed to get to his wife.

Morgan seemed to get his reasoning back first. His voice cracked a bit as he pulled the car keys from his pocket. "Come on, kid, I'll take you."

The two men hurried out of the room, rushing through the squad room. "Call us when you hear something." Garcia called after them, filled with terror and guilt herself.

Reid followed Morgan down to the car, both practically running to get their faster. The stairs were quicker than the elevator, hurrying out to the back parking lot.

Reaching the car, Morgan got into the driver's seat, the pain in his stomach nonexistent at the thought of Emily in danger. He loved her… why had he never told her he loved her?

Reid slumped into the other side. He couldn't think. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. He couldn't lose her… he didn't even care about the baby right now… he just wanted her.


	23. Perspective

One thing Reid could never get used to was walking into a hospital. It didn't matter if he were hurt or was seeing a loved one, he hated this place more than anywhere in the world. Little good came from having to visit them. The only times he really liked being here were on the occasions to see JJ's new babies and that night Riley admitted she really loved him. Other than that… he'd very much like to forget for awhile that these establishments existed. Unfortunately, he hadn't been lucky enough to stay away from them for too long.

The emergency room at Michalek Martin General Hospital wasn't too busy, but still congested enough where Reid and Morgan had to wait before reception would even speak to them. Morgan rushed to the counter at his turn, not wanting to wait another second.

"We're looking for two women that were brought in after a car accident." He said quickly, not even caring the charge nurse was in the middle of entering something into the computer.

She looked up with a rather annoyed expression, as if what she were sick of family members bugging her over their sick relatives. She seemed more suited to working at the Lost Luggage Department at the airport. "Names?"

"Emily Prentiss and Riley Reid." Morgan stated. "We're their boyfriend and husband."

"For both of them? How does that work?" She laughed at her own joke, clicking slowly through the computer, which looked a least a decade out of date.

"R-E-I-D," Reid said angrily. "She's my wife and I need to know what happened to her. Now."

"Alright," She whined, continuing to click through. "Okay, yeah… she came in about an hour ago, she's been admitted… her attending is Dr. Tucker, I'll page her so she can talk to you."

"What about Emily Prentiss?" Morgan demanded.

"Boyfriend's aren't really family, I shouldn't just give you that information." She said with a superior glare.

Morgan had her. "I'm her medical proxy. Family or not, I have a right to see her."

He wasn't lying. Reid knew for a fact the two had made each other their medical proxies years before they started dating. It just made more sense, seeing as how her mother was always traveling and his so far away.

"She's being looked over by ortho. That's down in the Lucas Wing." She grumbled, getting out of her seat to step away, freeing herself from answering anymore questions. As if she had some pressing work to do. She hadn't even bothered telling Morgan what room she was in.

But it didn't matter. "I'm going to go find Emily… will you be alright here?"

"Yeah," Reid nodded. "You should be with her."

He didn't hurry away, though, looking to his friend with concern. "She's going to be okay, Reid."

"You don't know that." Reid mumbled with bitterness. "She's been admitted."

"It might just be a precaution. Come on, it'll be alright." He gave a confident smile. "Riley is not going to let you win that argument that easily."

With a crook of a smile, Reid nodded. Morgan patting his shoulder to show his support, he rushed off through the hospital to search of his girlfriend. Reid was worried about Riley… but still hoped Emily was alright as well. One crisis at a time.

The page for Dr. Tucker sounded over the intercom. It would be awhile before she even got here, and Reid couldn't stay still when he was anxious. He went over to the waiting area, pacing back and forth in front of the water cooler. This was nerve racking… his wife was somewhere in this hospital and he had no idea if she was even okay. There was no way he could leave her… as much as he wanted this baby, if it came between saving her life or risking her survival to save it… he knew his choice. Hypothetically, they could make another baby... but there was only one her.

He turned again, glancing over at reception. A young man had taken charge of it now, and was assisting two more arrivals. A man and woman, both about ten years younger than Reid. He knew they were a couple by the way they were holding hands… and judging by the woman's swollen belly and heavy panting, she was in labor. It made his heart ache to think he and Riley would never be where they are… but maybe this was a blessing in disguise. Reid knew his father was a good man, that he had wanted children so much, yet he left his only son behind when walked out, never to speak to him until Reid found him in unpleasant circumstances. The apple never falls far from the tree… who's to say Reid wouldn't take after him?

Wasn't that the same excuse Riley had been giving him? He appreciated it a little more now.

Just as the expectant mother was wheeled away in a chair, her partner by her side, someone called his name. "Mr. Reid?"

He turned immediately to see a short, older woman hurrying towards him from down the hall. "Yes," He answered.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Tucker, I'm your wife's doctor." She introduced. Her expression was very impassive, giving him no clue whether Riley was safe or not. She offered his hand and Reid promptly took it.

"How is she?" He asked.

She paused a moment, looking at the crowded waiting area. "Why don't we go somewhere private?"

She didn't answer him right away, and Reid's heart immediately sank. His throat clenched uncomfortably tight, keeping him from speaking. With a difficult nod, he followed the woman back down the hall, away from the noise and watching eyes. They stopped as they reached a more private area, closer to patient rooms. He felt a bit more relaxed here, in the privacy of the corridors, but not much.

"Let me start out by saying you're wife is going to be okay." She stated plainly. "That's the most important thing right now."

"I'd have to agree." Reid muttered, his hands going into his pockets to keep them from shaking. A bit of relief flowed through him.

"Good," She gave a light smile, glad they were on the same page. "She took the brunt of the damage because the truck hit her on that side. There was a gash above her ear. We fixed that with some stitches, 7 to be exact, but there's no sign of concussion. There are a lot of bruises on her exposed leg and side of her torso, but nothing that won't heal themselves in a week or so… my main concern for her recovery is… the baby."

"The baby," Reid repeated, anxiously. So she hadn't lost it.

"Oh," She said, misunderstanding, "Did you not know she's pregnant?"

Reid explained. "We, uh… we just found out today." He paused, taking a hand to run through his hair. "Is the baby going to be alright?"

"We don't know yet. Your wife's body suffered a great trauma and while her body is designed to protect her offspring, it's main concern is protecting her. No mommy, no baby."

"I know," He answered.

"At this point, it's hard to tell what's going to happen." Tucker continued. "We're monitoring your wife very closely. Now, with these injuries, typically it takes about 24 to 48 hours for the body to stabilize. It's a very crucial time. She didn't have pelvic bleeding, so we know she hasn't lost the baby yet, but within the next 48 hours… it's very possible she could suffer a spontaneous miscarriage."

Reid his stomach churned at that. "I see."

"That's not all of it. We gave your wife an MRI and there doesn't appear to be any internal bleeding, but then we may have missed it. Since your wife suffered a good deal of impact, it's possible that bleeding could start once her body's been at rest for awhile and if that happens, we'll have to go in… I need to warn you Mr. Reid. If the time comes and we have to operate… we'll need to evacuate the fetus."

What a horrible term for saying they would have take the baby. "I understand," He answered.

"We're still okay. It's just 48 hours, not a long time in the grand scheme of things." She said, trying to lightening the mood. "And, if we get through the next two days without problems and we see a healthy baby on the sonogram, we'll have every reason to expect a perfectly healthy baby."

He hoped she was right. "Thank you, Doctor."

"My pleasure," She had another kind smile. "I'm keeping a diligent watch on your wife, and I have every confidence she and the baby are going to get through this. You should, too. She's down the hall in 34C, we need to keep her on the surgical floor for the next two days. I think she'd very much like to see you."

Reid wasn't so sure about that. He was absolutely disgusted with himself. He'd told Riley he'd leave her if they didn't have this baby, then chose her somewhat reluctantly… now he'd give anything just so she'd be okay… including the baby.

* * *

><p>Morgan wasn't exactly sure where to go. There weren't any doctors or nurses passing by that he could ask, but even if there were, he doubted they would know anything. Something had to point him in the right direction. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to that snotty receptionist.<p>

"Come on, Em, where are you?" He muttered, looking up and down the corridor. It was quiet for this time of night. He wondered if this was typical for the orthopedics' wing. He kept walking, wondering if Emily wasn't even down here at all and that girl had been mistaken, or just trying to get rid of him. Where could she be?

"Ah!" Someone screamed down the next hall. "Son-of-a-bitch!"

There she was.

Turning the corner, Morgan hurried down the next hall towards the direction of the cry. Thank God his partner couldn't deal well with pain. Another cry of pain sounded as he spotted an open doorway about halfway down. Stepping closer, he at last saw the raven haired girl seated on an exam table, her back to the door. She'd removed her top, sitting in her black cotton bra while the doctor examined her. He had her left arm raised above her, attempting to rotate it. It wasn't going well.

"That still hurts?" He asked to be sure, still continuing to revolve it.

"Yes, that hurts!" She snapped. "That's why I'm screaming- ouch, God damnit!"

"Okay, alright!" The doctor eased as he gently set her arm back down. "The blade's back in place, but I think you should wear a sling for a few days, it could pop back out again if you don't keep it stable. Basic Ibuprofen should handle that pain. I'll be right back with your sling."

"Thank you," She bitterly grumbled.

The doctor, an elderly gentleman with very white hair, turned to see the muscular man standing in the doorway. "Can I help you?"

Emily turned and was stunned to see Morgan standing there. "I'm here for Emily." He explained.

"You really shouldn't be back here." The doctor explained. "It's supposed to be family only."

"He's my boyfriend." She explained without a moment's hesitation. Morgan had never heard her say that to anyone before. Simply because they wanted to keep it secret… he had to admit, it sounded nice… being told he was her possession. The only thing that could have made it better were if there were eligible men in the area with their eyes on her gorgeous body. Maybe he was a little possessive, but one thing they had in common, she was, too.

"I see," He said, still eyeing him with annoyance. "I'll be right back, Miss Prentiss."

He stepped out, leaving the two agents alone. Crossing the threshold, Morgan walked into the room, going over to her.

"Hey," She said with a smile. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"My girlfriend was in a car accident, why wouldn't I be here?" He questioned, looking over her with caution. Fortunately, she didn't look bad. Her face looked as beautiful as always, her hair looked messed and ruffled like they'd just gotten out of bed. He felt anger start to bubble in his gut at the bruises clustering around her shoulder and down her upper arm.

"I just wasn't sure if you could get away." She said simply. "Are the others here, too?"

"Reid's here, that's it." He shook his head. "The others know we're close, it's not that weird... and in a time like this, I really don't care what the others think."

She gave a sweet smile... he wanted to see that smile every morning for the rest of his life. God, what had he been so afraid of before?

"Who did this?" He demanded. "I will kick his ass."

"It was my fault." Emily shook her head. "I was talking to Riley in the car, we stopped at an intersection. We were discussing her and the baby… she even told me the light was green but I wouldn't move until she looked at things my way. By the time I did drive forward, I didn't see the light had changed back. The truck to the right of us went to go through and… smashed into the passenger's side."

Maybe it was her fault, but it didn't make Morgan any less furious with the man driving that truck. "Are you alright, what happened to you?"

"My shoulder slammed into the door from the impact, it dislocated my shoulder. It hurt like hell and even more when they popped it back in."

Morgan cringed, lightly brushing the soft flesh of her shoulder, turned to florescent blues and purples. He'd had his knocked out of its socket before… she must be in agony.

"Do you know anything about Riley?" She asked, worried.

"Reid's with her… I'm not sure how she's doing." Morgan answered.

Emily felt like crying. If Riley lost the baby because of something she did… and after they'd made such progress. She could see something in that girl's eyes when she called the baby hers… there was a spark. She just needed a little more time to think and she'd realize what she really wanted. That's all.

Morgan, however, had other things on his mind. His mind was in perfect perspective now. How could he have been so selfish? So stupid? Reid was right. Saying those three words meant everything. He could have lost her tonight… and she never would have known.

"I love you, Emily." Morgan revealed.

Her mind came to a screeching halt, as well as the rest of her body. She couldn't even feel the pain in her shoulder anymore. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to meet his, watching her with… yes, that was love. And a little sadness, too.

"What?" She asked.

"I love you," He repeated. "I have for a long time… I think even before I first kissed you… I should have told you sooner... a lot sooner… I was just afraid if I said it, I'd subconsciously find some excuse to run and I didn't want to hurt you… but I'm not going to run. Not ever… I've never been more sure of how I feel than I am right now. I love you, Emily."

"Oh," She answered. Emily couldn't describe how that made her heart swell, so fast and tight, she felt it would burst. "Thank you."

Thank you. That wasn't exactly the response he was hoping for. Morgan suddenly felt very deflated… he thought this would have been a beautiful moment between them… something that would really put their relationship in stone. She was the first girl he'd said this to... that he felt this strongly about.

"That's all you have to say?" He asked.

Emily knew the door was wide open behind her, and she felt very exposed. This was a very bittersweet moment, not at all like she dreamed. "What do you want me to say?" She shrugged.

"Well, I thought maybe you might say it back." He answered, taking a step away.

"Is that why you said it?" She asked with a stern expression.

"No, Prentiss, I said it because I feel it." He corrected. "I heard you were in a car accident… and suddenly realized my last words to you were about a case… at least you should know I love you… I thought you loved me, too… I guess I was wrong."

"You're not wrong!" Emily cried sharply.

That didn't make any sense. "So you do love me?"

A beat passed. Emily tried to speak, closing her eyes and hanging her head a moment. "I… I… I'm just not sure if I'm ready to say it out loud."

"Emily, you don't have to be scared. I've already admitted it, you know I'm not going freak out." He tried to reassure, giving her a smile.

"I am not scared!" Emily cried, looking at him with a harsh expression. "Morgan… why is it so important if I say it? I feel it, that should be enough."

He paused, stepping back to observe her a moment. "So I guess you can only say it to me when I'm sleeping?"

"No, Morgan, that's not what I mean, I-" She stopped in mid sentence, once again caught off guard. How could he have known that?

Her shocked expression looked up to meet his knowing eyes. He gave a small smile. "I wasn't asleep."

"Why didn't you say anything, then?" She asked, feeling a bit violated.

"Because…" Now it was his turn to be taken by surprise. "Because I thought if you knew I heard you say it… you'd want me to say it back…" He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "And I'd probably be acting just like you are now."

"I never meant for you to hear that." She explained. "I'm not ready to say it to you. I've said it to guys to get things I wanted, or in hopes that something small might become something more… I never felt it before you. And that… yes, it does make me afraid."

"Of what?" He walked over to her. His hand landed on her hip, just enough so his fingers would brush against the silky flesh of her curves. "Don't you trust me?"

His touch was so warm and she paused a moment to savor it. Emily suddenly felt so tired, wanted to sink under the covers and just wrap herself in his arms... forever.

"Of course I do… I am overjoyed that you love me. You have no idea what that means to me." She paused, feeling like crying. "But Derek… my parents thought they loved each other, too. Look what happened to them? If I let my guard and let myself feel like that for you… I might not be able to handle being that vulnerable, just like my mother. And I don't want to hurt you like she hurt my father."

He let out a deep breath, more than satisfied by that reasoning. Emily wasn't much like her mother, she really shouldn't have a fear about it... but Morgan would press her. Really what did it matter right now? They had the rest of their lives to be in love... he could give her all the time she needed. "I can respect that."

"Really?" She asked, worried.

"Yeah," He said, giving one of those gorgeous smiles that for a long time now, he saved only for her. She loved that those were only for her. "You say it when you're ready. It's not going to keep me from saying it, though, whether you like it or not. I love you, Emily… with all my heart. And I'll still be here when you're ready… no matter how long it takes."

She smiled at that. With one hand on his cheek, she reached up to press a kiss on his other one. "Thank you for being so understanding."

He reached down to envelope her in his arms, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. She clung to him tightly. "No problem." He said, kissing her temple. "I love you."

Inside, she was screaming those words to him, but all she could manage was, "I know."

* * *

><p>Reid made it to room 34C on the surgical wing. Peaking through the window, he saw Riley alone, lying in bed. She was staring out the window at the bright lights of Vegas. Definitely she'd been crying. He couldn't see any stitches, no doubt covered by her mounds of curls.<p>

Bracing himself, Reid took the handle. He knew what he wanted to say, that he loved her and it didn't matter what happened or what she wanted. As long as she came out of this, they could move past it. All he wanted was her, and if she'd rather it be just the two of them for the rest of their lives… that was okay with him.

The handle clicked and the door opened. Riley looked over expectantly at her new visitor, gasping a bit as she saw Spencer walk in.

There was silence as he entered and closed the door softly. Both had things they wanted to say, but neither knew how to start, or even if they wanted to say the first word. Their eyes met across the room, both feeling like they were going to break down at any moment.

"Hi," Reid finally muttered.

"Hi," Riley said. She looked on the verge of tears. Was that because of the pain or because of him?

"Riley," He said, taking a tentative step closer. "I-"

"Dr. Tucker was just in here." She interrupted, not even giving hima chance. He stopped abruptly, stunned she wouldn't even let him apologize. Was she that mad at him? "She, uh… she told me about my condition… did she tell you?"

"Yes," Reid answered.

"Oh... so you know I might miscarry." She couldn't hold Reid's gaze. Riley looked up to the ceiling, tears instantly beginning to form. "Or I might need surgery and then they'll have to abort."

Reid wanted to tell her that was okay, that no matter what happens, he would always love her and, more importantly, be by her side. Nothing would change that.

But that wasn't her concern at the moment. "As soon as she said that… do you know what my first thought was?"

He had a guess, and he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear it. "No."

There was a long, expectant pause as Riley tried to keep her tears from escaping, her breath turning quick and shallow. "When she told me that… the first thing I thought was…" Breaking down into a fit of sobs, she exclaimed, "I want this baby!"

For a full three seconds, Reid was completely stunned. His jaw fell in amazement, for a moment unbelieving... this couldn't be true.

He came back to his senses, though, and hurried over to Riley's bedside, sitting on the edge of the bed. Not wanting her healing body to move, he brushed her cheek and lean down to rest his brow against hers. Her trembling hands clutched to Reid's arms, her nails almost ripping through his shirt, as if to feel he was really here by her side.

"I want it!" She cried, her eyes squeezed shut as the tears flowed from underneath. "Oh, God, Spencer I want it so much!"

"I know," He said, his own tears flowing out. "I want it, too."

"I'm so sorry, Spencer." She moaned. "I should have realized this before."

"It's alright, Sweetheart." He assured her, reaching up to press his lips to her forehead.

"No, no it's not alright!" She cried. "What is wrong with me? I was thinking of killing our baby… I hate myself so much."

Reid sat up to look at her. She was so scared and filled with guilt and remorse. "Riley, please don't hate yourself. You were just scared, it's alright. We've never made any decisions on this and to have this thrown at you… I'm sorry, I should have thought about this when you told me you were pregnant. I was so happy about the baby, I didn't even think about you."

"At least you were happy!" Riley cried. "All I could think about was myself."

"I wouldn't say you were thinking about yourself." Reid corrected. He clasped her one hand between both of his tightly. "You were thinking about what kind of mother you would be… and while I know you're going to be great… you were anxious about what kind of life you'll give our child. You wanted to save it from the kind of life you had… others might not understand, but I know you. And I think that's very commendable."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." She moaned, looking away.

He reached over to turn her face back to his. He replied, very seriously, "I'm not. You do things like this all the time… you think you're going to hurt people by opening up and sticking around, when in actuality, you hurt them by running away. I know that's how everyone made you feel for years, but things are different now. You've always been a good person. A kind and loving woman, and as long as you just be yourself, there is nothing you could do that would drive me away… and I know you're too good a person not to love your child. I mean… you wouldn't drink any coffee today… and I know today was stressful, have you even had a cigarette to cope with that?"

She shook her head, closing her eyes as more tears spilled out. Reid leaned down to press a kiss on her cheek, making her look at him again. "See? You're already starting to love this baby, you're just haunted by your own past. Before you came along, I never wanted kids either… I thought I would be just like my father… walk out on them when things got too hard for me to handle… I'm still afraid I'll do that, to be honest."

"Spencer," Riley cried, as if shocked he would think such a thing. "You would never do that. You'll be a wonderful father."

"You know that," He pointed out. "I might be worried, but you know me better. Just like I know you… and I can't see any outcome than you loving and protecting our child. Us having a baby is not going to separate us or destroy what we have… it's going to bring us closer together. We love each other… don't we?"

Through her tears, she managed a smile. "Of course we do. I know I love you."

"And I love you." He smiled, gently brushing the hair off her temple. Lifting the locks, he could see the line of stitches beside her ear, surrounded by a forming bruise.

He leaned down and met her in a loving kiss. She sighed with content as he claimed her mouth, gripping his shirt in her usual manner. His kiss was always so powerful, if she didn't hang onto something, she might drown.

As it slowly and reluctantly ended, he leaned down to gently bring her weak body into a hug, not wanting her to sit up. She sighed again, starting to sob silently as she enclosed her arms around him. Her tears dripped onto his shirt. Reid didn't mind in the least, in fact he savored each moist drop.

"I'm sorry I put us through this," She wept, turning her head to nuzzle into his chestnut hair. "But I want you to know, Spencer… I don't think I ever would have gone through with an abortion… I just wasn't thinking clearly... I needed time to let this sink in."

"I know that now, and I should have given that to you." He said as he sat up again. "You needed me and instead of being there for you, I could only think of what I wanted… how I couldn't get a say. That wasn't right." He said softly. "But I want you to know… I never would have left you. Ever. If you had truly decided you didn't want to have the baby… I would have been devastated, but… I would have understood. I would have been there for you… and held your hand through the whole thing."

"Really?" She started crying quietly again.

"Yes, really." He said. Reid reached up to wipe her tears away. "I love you too much to let you go. Don't make this decision for my benefit. I will do what you want to do, whatever it is… I love you and support you."

Giving him a smile, she said with great determination, "I love you, too, Spencer… and I mean it. I want our baby."

Grinning like an idiot, Reid met her into another kiss, which she accepted willingly. He pulled his hand from hers and reached down to caress her stomach. Hers followed suit, resting over his slender fingers. As happy as they were, a shadow was still hanging over them. Two days suddenly felt like an eternity.


	24. Someday

"Morgan," Emily muttered as she sat up. "You're really hot."

He gave a satisfied smile, going in to kiss her, "Thank you for noticing, Prentiss."

"No," She shook her head, looking at him seriously. He stopped before their lips connected. Her hand rested on his forehead. "I mean you feel warm... are feeling alright? You feel like you have a fever."

In truth, Morgan felt downright horrible. Hearing Emily had been hurt had been enough of a distraction from it, but now that things had calmed down, he couldn't ignore it. Morgan did feel warm and very nauseas, the pain in his stomach was starting to increase again. Still, he was too proud to admit he was sick. Accepting that fact would be like saying he was too weak. He had to keep reminding himself it wasn't anything serious. If he fought through it, he would get over it in a day or so.

"I'm fine," He said to her, waving it off. "It's just the flu."

"I don't think so." She shook her head. "You said you've been sick for a month, and it's apparently gotten worse over the last day. We're in the hospital, why don't you just see a doctor while we're here."

She looked so worried. Had Morgan not been so prideful, he would have obliged her, just to prove his point. "I'm not going to waste a doctor's time over this, it's nothing."

Emily argued, furious. "Morgan, why can't you just do this for me? You're sick, you need help. Maybe it is nothing, but I can't stand here and watch you get sicker. When are you going to get help, when you're unconcious on the floor?"

He didn't want to fight with her, and even if he did, he didn't have the energy. Morgan took her hands and brought them to his chest, looking down at her with compassion and affection. "Emily, listen to me... I'm okay. I've just got the flu. If it were something serious, I wouldn't hesistate to get help. But I'm fine. Really, I am. When we get back to the hotel, I'll take some Ibuprofen and get some sleep, everything will be better in the morning. I promise."

Emily wasn't quite sure she believed him, but she knew she couldn't force him, even if she weren't in all this pain. "Alright... but, when we're done with this case and we go home... you will let me take care of you."

He felt very comforted by that. It didn't matter how he acted or what he said... he did love her taking care of him when he was sick. "If you insist," He said with a fake moan.

"I do insist!" She argued. "Could you help me on with my blouse, please?"

He picked it up, holding it to slip first her good arm in and then gingerly easing in the other. She was able to button up herself, and Morgan watched her lovingly.

"I do have a condition, if you insist on taking care of me." He said as she smoothed out the wrinkles of the fabric. Sitting up to meet his eyes again. "You have to make me that chicken soup of yours."

"You've got it." She grinned, with that reaching with her good hand to pull him to her for a kiss. She did love him. With all her heart... she just couldn't say it out loud.

The world didn't exist as they were kissing, not realizing a newcomer had arrived at the door. He stood back, watching them a moment, remember how shocked he was the first time he saw this.

As they parted, he cleared his throat loudly, getting their attention. Morgan looked up, surprised to see they had an audience.

"Reid," He exclaimed.

Emily suddenly felt very cold. She slowly turned, seeing Reid watching them, his face impassive. Morgan never wavered from her side, as if ready to protect her should the usually unseen temper of this man explode like a volcano.

Without a word, he stepped into the room. Emily jumped off the exam table, staying close to her boyfriend. She didn't know what to say, how to explain what had happened.

"Reid..." She stammered as he approached her. "I'm sorry... I know I should have been paying a better attention-"

"Are you alright?" Reid asked anxiously, looking her up and down. The way she handled her arm told him immediately she was injured.

She was speechless for a moment, almost needing to think of the right answer. "Uh... yeah. I dislocated my shoulder, but mostly I'm okay."

"Oh..." Reid sighed, relieved. He reached down to gingerly pull her into a hug. "Good. I'm glad it wasn't too bad."

It was painful to hug him, but she held him in return anyway. "Thanks," was all she could mutter.

She met his eyes as they stood back, finding her voice much more easily now. "Reid, I'm so sorry, it was an accident."

"Of course it was an accident." Reid replied, amazed she felt she needed to explain herself. "I'm just glad you're both alright."

"So Riley's okay?" Morgan inferred.

At his hesitation, both Morgan and Emily were horrified. He hung his head a moment, his body language an obvious clue to the morbid news.

"She's going to be okay," He clarified, "but the baby..."

"She miscarried?" Emily gasped, guilt immediately filling her stomach. There hadn't been any blood or anything in the car... but maybe she hadn't seen.

"No... not yet." Reid assured, looking up. "There's still a chance she could, though. And... if they find she has internal injuries that need surgery... they'll have to..."

His voice trailed off, but they knew what he was about to say. Reid rubbed his eyes a moment, hiding his tears from a pretense of exhaustion. Morgan put a hand on his shoulder, trying to give him strength.

"How's she taking it?" He cautiously asked.

Looking up, Reid announced. "Well... I don't know if it's just the threat of losing it or something that Emily said, but either way, she's finally seeing things differently."

Morgan looked to her in surprise, not to mention curious as to what they were discussing. "She wants to keep it?"

Nodding, "If we can get through the next 48 hours without any complications... we're going to have a baby."

It was a very bittersweet moment. All three of them were thrilled for Reid and Riley, but they couldn't be happy about it while they were in this situation. Just when the couple got through one horrible situation, there they were plagued with another.

"Listen, guys, I'm going to stay here tonight, but I'll see you at the station in the morning."

"I'll bring some clean clothes and pick you up, kid." Morgan offered.

Reid was very grateful. "Thanks, Morgan, I appreciate that."

"I'm sure the doctor will be back in a minute, so I'll go call Hotch and bring the car around." He pressed a kiss to Emily's temple. "Meet me out front when you're ready."

"I'll see you in a minute." She sighed, watching him as he walked to the door. Just before he exited, he looked back, giving her one last affectionate glance before leaving.

Turning back to her friend, she said with a school grin smile. "He loves me."

Reid was just as happy for her.

* * *

><p>Just as he turned the corner, that's when Morgan collapsed. He buckled down to his knees, his hand positioned on his gut. He knew a few minutes ago this was going to happen and made an excuse to get out of the room. The last thing he wanted was Emily to see him like this.<p>

The pain was blinding, blocking out the world for several minutes. His one hand grabbed onto the safety bar of the wall, needing extra strength. This was getting worse every day... he didn't know what to do.

At last, it started to fade. Morgan inhaled several times, each breath coming in easier than the last. Sweat had formed on his brow, a few drips sliding down the side of his face. At last, he felt normal again. Shaking and his heart beating like it was trying to pound out Morse Code... but normal.

Reception wasn't too far away. Maybe he should ask to see a doctor. His hand pressed on his abdomen, right where he felt the pain. He was starting to believe Reid was right, as he so often was. Maybe it was his appendix... but that didn't necessarily mean he needed surgery. It might go away on it's own, right?

Unfortunately, he never knew anyone who had his appendix out. For now, he wasn't going to worry about it. It was only a few times a day this happened. He would have more time before this needed to be treated. He would get through this case and take care of this when he got home. Hopefully then, there would be nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p>"I am really sorry Riley go so badly hurt." Emily said. Her arm was strapped in the standard issue medical sling. She'd been officially discharged and free to leave. First, though, she wanted to see Riley. "I should have been paying better attention, I just... you two had a fight and she was upset... and I just wanted her to see things differently..."<p>

"I don't know what you said to her, but I think it was partly why she's had a change of heart." As they waited at the elevator, he folded his arms, staring down at his sneakers.

"I knew she would, if she just calmed down and thought things through." She admitted. "I just wish it didn't take an accident to put her in the right frame of mind."

Ironic, she thought, since it had been the push for Morgan to confess his love. Unfortunately, that's how it had always been. When the unspeakable happened, that's when a person saw things in black and white.

"She's strong, though." Reid said, looking up. "She's survived injuries and attacks a lot worse than this."

Emily frowned slightly. "You don't sound very optomistic."

Reid hesitated. "I want to be... I just..." He shook his head, unable to continue.

"What is it?" She gently brushed his arm. "You can tell me."

"I just can't shake the feeling... it won't happen. Predicting the future is impossible, but... I just have this sense, no matter how much I hope we have... it won't happen. I'll never see this baby born."

Tears were forming in his eyes again, and this time he couldn't hide them. Emily put an arm around him, showing him there was no shame in letting his emotions out. "I know... and I hope everything works out. But the good news is she appears open to having a family. So even if she loses the baby, you can always have another."

"I know," Reid nodded, looking up. "I just don't want to have to."

Feeling ready to cry herself, Emily reached to pull him into as much of a hug as she was able. Reid was still careful with her, but hung onto her more tightly. His tears fell on her shoulder. He loved Riley and he loved their baby, a being created purely from their love. He'd wanted this for so long... he couldn't lose it now, not when he was so close to the life he never knew he wanted... until he saw a glimpse of it.

_He poured the last of the soda into the two glasses, carrying them back into the living room. Riley was relaxing on the couch, watching the commericals before the program came back on._

_"Thank you, Baby," She smiled, accepting her refill. Reid blushed at that. He still couldn't get used to all these pet names - baby, sweetheart, honey - he'd never had a girl who spoke to him like that besides his mother. It had a much different appeal coming from her._

_He reclaimed his seat on the sofa, putting his arm around her. It was still a bit awkward for him, being so open with another human being. Amazingly, they'd been dating for a little over three months now. The three greatest months of Reid's life._

_"Thanks for babysitting with me this weekend." He said, giving her a squeeze with his arm. "I know it's not the ideal date for a Saturday night."_

_"No problem." She grinned, leaning into him. "Snuggling on the couch with my boyfriend and a baby sleeping upstairs... it makes me feel like a teenager."_

_"Oh, so... you did this a lot when you were young?" He asked. The hint of jealousy in his voice could not be denied._

_"Well," She said, turning to face him, her denim leg wrapping underneath her. "I baby sat a lot. I did just about everything to make extra money. But never with boys. I didn't really date until I got to college." With a smile, she leaned into him. "But I think, if you and I had been in high school together... I would have made an exception."_

_"What an adventure that would have been." He chuckled and closed the fading distance between them to meet her in a kiss. She sighed blissfully, gripping to his shirt as she always did. Their lips moved so naturally together, in a perfectly coordinated dance. Her other hand buried itself in his hair. Those kisses would wind up being the end of him... and he would follow willingly._

_Gently, Reid began to ease her back onto the couch so as to lay her down. He wasn't thinking straight, here in his friend's house. All he could think about was being with this wonderful woman, whom he was falling more in love with each day._

_"You have to stop, Spencer." She squeaked, pulling away. "The parents are going to be home any minute, we're going to get caught."_

_Reid leaned back, a little confuse. JJ and Will weren't going to be back until late tomorrow afternoon, she knew that. Suddenly, however, he realized what she meant, and decided to play along. With a grin, he pushed her further back on the couch. "Don't worry, they'll be gone for hours. Come on... I can't help it, you're just so pretty. You're the prettiest girl in school."_

_He grinned again as he kissed her, guiding her lay on her back. He lay over her, staring down in her beautiful brown eyes. "We have to be quiet," She laughed, starting to untuck his shirt. "We don't want to wake the baby."_

_"I can be quiet." He smiled, pulling her one leg up so as to rest on his hip. "What about you?"_

_With that, he leaned down and started to kiss her neck, right in the spot that always made her squeal. Riley had to bite her lip to keep from crying out, her fingernails slicing into his arms from the will._

_She hadn't even been loud enough to sound over the television, but it didn't matter. Through the baby monitor, Henry's obvious cries blared from his bedroom, calling out for someone to help him._

_The couple fell out of their fantasy world, moving to sit up. "He probably needs changed."_

_"I can do that," Riley offered. "Why don't you take these plates in and clean up this mess?"_

_Immediately skeptical, he looked to his girlfriend with uncertainty. "Are you sure? No offense, I know you have experience baby sitting, but changing a dirty diaper is not as easy as it looks."_

_"I think I can handle it." She smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she stood up. "Meet me in the guest room."_

_Reid watched her grab the monitor and hurrying from the family room to get to the stairs. He did as requested, cleaning up after their meal of pizza and ice cream. They really were acting like teenagers tonight._

_In about ten minutes, everything was neat again. The doors locked and the television off, Reid was ready for bed. There hadn't been a peep from upstairs the whole time. He had expected Riley to call for help. Changing a diaper wasn't easy. It took him six tries the first time he'd done it, the tape just wouldn't stick. Not to mention, Henry was a very fussy little boy. He didn't take to just anyone. Even over a year, he still got upset easily if anyone besides his parents, Garica, or Reid tried to hold him for too long._

_But there wasn't a sound. Nervous, Reid quickly ran up the backstairs, rushing towards the nursery. The door stood halfway open, enough for the young man to slip in without being noticed. He was glad he did... because what he find inside was something he never expected._

_Henry was calm. Relaxed, clean and dry now. His little eyes were closing as he rested his head Riley's shoulder. She bounced him in her arms, like she was some veteran mother with decades of experience. Softly, she hummed the old mockingbird lullaby to put him back to sleep._

_He stirred a bit more and Riley rubbed his back gently. "It's alright little one." She soothed, pressing a kiss on his head. "You go back to sleep." With that, she started humming again, and within a moment, Henry had completely doozed off._

_It was absolutely breathtaking. Reid didn't speak, not wanting to disturb them. They looked so beautiful together. If he hadn't known, he would have assumed that was her own child._

_He sometimes thought about children. He liked children, but had no desire to be father... until now. Seeing this filled him with a longing. Someday, that could be their baby she was rocking to sleep. Maybe someday... they would have a family._

It seemed like such a fantasy now. They hadn't lost all hope. This baby wasn't gone yet, and as Emily had said, they could always conceive again. Maybe that perfect life was too perfect. It felt too out of reach to ever be real.


	25. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Reid stayed by her side all night, barely slept a wink. Riley did drift off into an uneasy slumber after a while, not getting much rest at all. He knew she was worried, but all Reid wanted was for her to relax. If her body was at ease, it would put less stress on her system... all this tension couldn't be good for the baby.

Just before five, he was half way between sleep and awake when he felt Riley shaking his arm. Reid awoke with a jolt, sitting up. "What's wrong?" He cried immediately, a little dazed, already fearing the worst.

"Spencer..." She stuttered out, breathing heavily. "I need your help… I'm going to be sick..."

Instantly, Reid was on his feet. With her fragile body, getting her to the bathroom would take too long. Instead, he grabbed the garbage can and hurried over to her. She clutched to the garbage can as she threw up, Reid held back her hair as usual.

It took a half hour of vomiting off and on before Riley was able to lie back and catch her breath. "Thank you," She sighed, trying to catch her breath, her throat sore and scratchy. She wiped the tears from her eyes, pouring out from the effort.

Reid got her some water to rinse her mouth, letting her spit it in the can before he took it away. "Keep it close," She advised as he handed her a tissue. "I have a feeling that's just the opening act for this morning."

He set the can within reach and moved to sit beside her on the bed. His arms natural went around her and Riley leaned her tired, aching body on his, her damp cheek resting on his chest. Feeling her so close after such a scare was comforting, even in spite of everything.

"I don't want to get our hopes up, but I think morning sickness might be a good sign. Like I said… morning sickness is a usually sign of a healthy pregnancy. You're less likely to miscarry."

Less likely. It didn't mean it wouldn't happen. Riley gave a half smile. She wanted to be just as positive as he, but it hadn't even been twelve hours. It was much too soon to tell. All she did was hold him closer, trying not to burst into tears again. She finally had a clear head. Not only did she want the baby… but she was actually feeling connected to it. She wanted so hard to keep it, yet felt like she'd already failed. She was already a terrible mother.

"I'm going to call Morgan," He informed, gently caressing her. "Tell him not to bother picking me up this morning."

"Why?" Riley asked, pulling away to see his face. Was he joking?

He hadn't thought he'd need to explain himself. "I want to be with you, Riley. You're injured, you need me. I'm not going to abandon you."

"So instead, you're going to abandon Peter?" Riley questioned, shocked he would give up now, when there was still a chance to save a boy's life. Reid never gave up, otherwise she wouldn't be alive today.

"The team can handle the case, they'll be fine. I can offer phone consults and work from here, but for the most part, they'll take over." He sounded confident, looking deeply into her brown eyes, still lacking their dazzle.

She was grateful he wanted to stick by her. With him here she felt stronger, but that wasn't fair to the others, especially the victim. She shook her head. "No, Spencer, you can't do that."

Hesitating a moment, "You don't want me here?"

"Of course I do," She argued, "If you weren't working on this case, I would hang onto you and never let you go... but you can't just give up this case, not when that little boy is still missing."

"The team is fully capable-"

"I know," Riley cried. "Believe me, I know. But it's the best place for you today. There's nothing you can do here. You sitting by my side, as much as I would love it, is not going to help the baby any more than if you work on a case. Better yet, it'll get your mind off everything and you still might be able to save that little boy."

She had a point. Wasting the next two days in this room was going to drive him crazy, just waiting for the inevitable to come. Besides, now that she had said it, Reid remembered poor Peter Hillman, lost somewhere... if he'd made it through last night, he might not make it through another.

He wanted to protest, but he knew she was right. Reid had made a promise to find Alexa's son. At a time like this, their history didn't matter. The grudge he held paled in comparison to his worry for his wife and undeveloped child.

Slowly, he conceded. "If you learn anything... you call me immediately."

"I will," Riley swore as he pulled her into a hug. "I promise."

"And call me anyway," He ordered as he kissed her temple. "A lot… I need to hear your voice today."

She agreed with a nod, snuggling closer. Reid held her so tight for a moment, almost forgetting how delicate her body was right now.

"Spencer," She moaned against his shoulder.

"Oh, God," He released her, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," She shook her head, trying to speak. "I'm going to be sick again."

He barely got the trash can under her in time. This had to be a good sign. He wouldn't let himself believe anything else.

* * *

><p>As the others waited for their last three teammates that morning. JJ and Rossi were standing on the far side, watching the scene forming in the break room. It was hard to hear them at this distance, but by the way they were checking out the severe bruise on John Hillman's face, who was released from lock up early this morning, it wasn't hard to guess what the conversation was about. They could only assume Reid was not coming off well.<p>

"I can only imagine what lies he's telling them in there." JJ mumbled bitterly, swallowing her sip of coffee. "They don't need to be here, can't we force them to leave?"

"I've told them they can go home, believe me." Rossi retorted. "They're acting stubborn and unless we have physical force, they won't leave on their own. I think the best we can do is make sure those three stay clear of Reid. If they get out of hand, we'll force them."

"Four." JJ argued. "There are four of them."

"Alexa's not a threat." He explained. "A worried mother with two daughters she's trying to look after. Without help… besides, I've seen the way she looks at Reid."

"What do you mean?" She wondered. Her bias for the woman wouldn't let her see things clearly. JJ had no idea what the old man was talking about.

Rossi tried to explain. It was hard to put a human's emotions into words, especially when you knew so little about her. "She feels guilty… a lot remorse… twenty years is a long time for that to fester. And I don't need to tell you, motherhood has an effect on most women. It changes the way you see people. Alexa wants to talk to him. To bury the hatchet between them… she's not like the others and she wants Reid to know that… but he hasn't let her yet. In fact," He couldn't help but chuckle, "if we need to keep her away from anyone…"

At that, he knew he was saying too much. JJ looked over curiously, wanting to know what he was about to say.

Saved, however, Rossi indicated the door. "They're here."

Indeed, Reid had entered the squad room with Morgan and Emily, still wearing her sling. JJ and Rossi rushed over to meet them, as did Hotch and Garcia, who had been conversing in private. None of them had heard much about the accident, other than the fact both girls were on the mend. They waited anxiously to know what was going on.

"Oh my God, Em," Garcia squeaked. After telling her off yesterday, she felt so shameful now that she was hurt.

"It's okay," She lifted her injured arm. "I dislocated my shoulder, this is just precaution to keep it from falling out of place again."

"Well, that's good." Rossi kindly said, giving her a smile and a pat on her good arm. "Glad to see you're alright. Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Nothing some aspirin won't cure." She explained.

"Geez, you dislocated your shoulder and they don't give you anything? They hand out pain pills like M&M's usually." JJ chortled.

"Considering Vegas is often looser with rules or morality than other US cities, they're actually pretty tight on prescribing drugs, especially to people out of town." Reid said at once. He was face was a blank slate, like he cared neither about his wife or his wounded companion.

Hotch was the only one who could voice what all of them were desperate to know. "How's Riley?"

It was not a question Reid was looking forward to. He took his time with a response, wanting to say the words just right without worrying his friends as much as he was. Better than he had for Morgan and Emily. He wanted to be strong.

"Things are a little tentative right now." He stated calmly. "Riley's okay, for the most part, but… the pregnancy makes her body a little weaker… it may make her miscarry to save her life. Or, if she needs surgery, they'll abort."

"Oh, God… I am so sorry, Spence." JJ uttered sadly. "How are you guys handling it?"

"Did you make up at least?" Garcia wondered.

"In fact, yes," He said with a crook of a smile. "And, amazingly, Riley's fears are overshadowed by her natural instincts. It's made her realize what she really wants… and she wants the baby."

Rossi smiled, "That's great, Reid."

JJ added, "I knew she would when she came around after a while, if she just had some time."

"Time we don't have." Reid announced, looking to the group. "The next two days are going to be really hard. I appreciate everything you guys are doing, and I am worried about Riley, but I can't think about that right now… we need to focus on Peter if we're going to find him alive."

"You're absolutely right, Reid." Hotch agreed. "So far we don't have much, mostly what we can do is just start at the beginning and start looking for different clues."

"I've already changed and broadened my searches." Garcia explained, exchanging a glance with the unit chief. "Most of them."

Hotch caught her eye and quickly looked away. The others were better off not knowing; this could be considered a waste of resources. They were only supposed to investigate cases they were officially working on.

"Since Emily and Riley never got there, Rossi and JJ are going to speak to the Gereedo's. We're missing something, knowing more about another victim may shed some light. Reid, your primary focus is to study the previous cases, make any notes you can. You're most likely to see a hidden pattern. Morgan, go over the profile a few times, try to find what our weak link is, we may need to alter it. Emily…" He hesitated.

"Yes, sir?" She asked expectantly.

He was suddenly empathetic. "You should take it easy today."

"No," Emily exclaimed, shaking her head. "This isn't anything, I'm fine to work."

"Just one day." Rossi said, taking Hotch's side. "Help Garcia here, you've been through a trauma, you should rest a little while."

It wasn't like there was much to do yet, anyway. Begrudgingly, Emily sighed and agreed. "Alright. Just one day."

"Good, it's settled." Hotch said. "If anyone learns anything important, make sure everyone's informed. We don't act on anything until we're certain, with a child's life at risk, it's too dangerous to do otherwise."

The others concurred with that, and without any more comments, parted ways to get to work. Most of them were too concerned with what was expected of them for the day… except one, who immediately followed Hotch out into the hall.

"Do I dare ask where you're going?" Rossi wondered once they were out of earshot of the others.

Hotch lowered his voice. "I'm just going to go over and see Riley. She's been through a lot, I just want to know how she's handling everything."

"What is it with you and married women, Aaron?" Rossi teased with a smile. "Why don't you tell Reid you're going to see her?"

"I might not be back right away, I don't want him to think there's something wrong." He explained, checking around nervously, as if expecting an eavesdropper. "It's a sensitive matter."

Rossi, all too knowing as usual, questioned, "And would this matter happen to have anything to do with the father of our current victim?"

Hotch hesitated. Anxiously, he swallowed. His tone became dangerously and incredibly stern. "If it does… it's simply for the fact I'm trying to bring a criminal to justice. Nothing more."

"I know that." Rossi answered. "Just remember, and I'm not accusing you of anything… it's fine to toe the line, just make sure no one sees you cross it."

"I would never cross the line, Dave." He said, rising above his treacherous whisper. "I would never do anything to frame a man or wrongly accuse him. Any facts I bring to light will be hard and true."

"I wasn't talking about a case." He smiled. "And I didn't say don't cross… I just said don't let anyone see." With that, he turned, still grinning knowingly at the younger man. "Now if you excuse me, JJ's waiting for me."

He watched him walk away, remaining alone in the hallway. Normally, Hotch wouldn't feel this conflicted. It did feel like he was sneaking around, trying to get this man caught. If he wasn't twisted with all these emotions – emotions he couldn't even explain – how could he be sure he wasn't doing this because of them?

The thought of all those women victimized by him, though. Garcia had found 20 herself, there were probably more who never reported their attacks. Not to mention Riley, one of the closest and dearest people in his life… that put him in the right frame of mind. In that knowledge, Hotch headed out, an assertive spring in his step.

* * *

><p>"You should sue him." Harper demanded, examining the swollen lump on her brother's face. It was still growing ever purple.<p>

"What a psycho." Jeremy shook his head. "He really just lunged at you? For no reason?"

John caught Jeremy's eye, who shrunk back a bit. Both knew exactly why Spencer had attacked him, who before last night was the last person they ever believed could punch someone, let alone practically knock him out and threaten his life. And it wouldn't have happened had his lookout been there.

"Yeah, no reason." John grumbled. "Somebody get me some ice, this thing fricken kills."

Harper obeyed his request, hurrying to the refrigerator. Alexa wasn't about to help him, remaining in her seat at the table with the "two annoying little brats" as John was so lovingly calling them in his bitter mood this morning.

Speak of the devil, she glanced into the squad room and saw none other than Spencer Reid walking towards them. This was a dangerous place for him, even in a building of police officers. He might have been able to handle John, but outnumbered by three wasn't likely. Getting to the coffee pot would be about as easy as climbing the Berlin Wall. She wanted to yell for him to stay away, if he valued his safety at all… she sighed with relief as he turned without any indication he'd seen them, heading towards… the conference area. No one else was heading in there… and that gave her an idea.

"Meredith," She whispered, "Take your sister to the lounge, keep her entertained in there for a while."

The elder daughter obeyed, standing up and tugging on her sister's sleeve. "Come on, Squirt, let's get out of here."

"I'm not a Squirt!" Penny whined, much too loudly.

Catching her father's angry eye, Meredith pulled her forcefully, "Just come on, kid." Penny was too young to understand how important it was to lie low around their father. He'd never hit them, but there was always a first time. She didn't enjoy being yelled out and chastised by him, either, though. Within a moment, she practically dragged the little girl away, hurrying out of the danger zone.

They were safe now, at least. All Alexa had to worry about was herself. Standing up, she watched as Harper held a bundle of ice against her brother's bruise. "You know," She voiced, much more bravely than she felt. "That really doesn't sound like Spencer."

All three of them looked at her in surprise. She wanted to shrink back down and shut up. Maybe they'd forget about it, but Alexa held her ground. "From what I've seen about him, he holds onto his temper. You all saw that fight last night, he was furious… and after spending some time with him, I've seen he doesn't just let that go easily. Why would he just punch you for no reason?"

"I don't know. I guess that little scrawny piss ant finally figured out how to fight back." Jeremy said with a shrug.

"Yes, because it's so easy for a twelve year old little boy to fight off two or even more burly high school jocks." Alexa cried. "If he did punch you, not only does he have my full respect, but you must have… done… something…"

Before she could finish, her voice fell, remembering Agent Hotchner's confession. _We caught him assaulting a young woman_. From what she could tell, Spencer was a man who would save anyone who needed help… but not quite so forcefully… unless it affected him personally.

"Oh, God," She moaned, disgusted. "You would stoop so low as to attack his wife?"

John's emotions went from a range of confusion, shock, and rage in a matter of seconds. "Where did the hell did you come up with that idea?"

"One of the agents told me." Alexa stated.

"One of the agents, really?" He asked. "Is that damn one you've been staring at since we got here. Yeah… I didn't think I saw that did you, you little slut."

There was a clutch in Alexa's stomach. She'd been trying to shove away and forget these twisted feelings growing in her stomach every time she looked at Agent Hotchner… or just thought about them. But she wasn't about to give John the satisfaction of knowing how confused she was. He wasn't worth that.

"It's sick enough you would do that to women, but to Spencer's wife? I can't believe you were actually dumb enough to think you could get away with that? What could he have possibly done – ever – to justify that? Besides trying to save your son."

"That can't be true!" Harper exclaimed, turning to her. "John doesn't have to do that, if you can't keep him happy in the bedroom, maybe he does have to get his rocks off with someone else, but he'd never force another woman into anything."

She smirked knowingly, folding her arms. There, she waited for a response, some cry of agreement that she was right. It never came.

"John," Harper cried, turning around. "Tell her she's wrong."

"Shut the hell up, Harper." John hissed, glancing around. It wasn't the cops or agents he was worried about… just one man in particular. He'd never admit his fear even to himself, but something in Spencer's eyes told him the promise he made with the coldest eyes he'd ever looked into was not a bluff.

"He was giving her what she wanted." Jeremy argued. "Spencer's wife wanted to go to bed with a real man. She hates her husband so much, she can't stand the thought of having his baby!"

"Oh really, Jeremy, is that the mark of a woman who loves her man? Maybe you should ask your wife's opinion on that!" She said, catching the raven girl's eye.

"Shut up!" Harper cried, suddenly terrified. "Lexi, you promised!"

Ignoring her, Alexa released a rage inside her she'd been swallowing for a long, long time. "You guys don't get it! It's been twenty years and you haven't changed. You won't let yourselves see that Spencer has. A lot. Don't you realize, what we did to him was wrong! We shouldn't have treated him like that!"

"Everyone treated him like that!" John argued.

"That doesn't make it right!" She screamed. Tears were forming in her eyes as she spewed out this speech like she'd rehearsed it over and over. "He was a little boy who needed help! We should have looked out for him, protected him, walked him home from school… and we just tortured him… we just followed along, blindly. I can't live with myself knowing I did that, how can any of you!"

All three of them were dead silent. They wouldn't look at her, but more triumphantly, none of them could look at each other. It seemed the unbreakable bond they shared for so long was finally severed… and now they could be broken.

"I'm done with the both of you." She informed to Jeremy and Harper. "We're not friends anymore… and we haven't been for a very long time. You don't care about my son, so you need to leave this place."

She was in the home stretch, about to say the words she longed to scream at him for years. Alexa at last turned to her husband. "And you… you have a right to be here, I know, so I'm not even making a request. Though I can't say I believe it when you say you care about Peter. Regardless what happens, when this over and this case is put to rest… we're done. I want a divorce… get out of my house."

"You can't kick me out of my house, Bitch." John grumbled, moving towards her.

"Fine," She answered, not backing down. "Then I'll take the children and leave. Let someone else be your punching bag for now on."

He raised his hand to hit her, but held back. "And I should have dumped you after graduation, like I was going to."

"Except for my babies, I really wish you had." She replied, and without another word, turned and walked with great confidence away from the group. Alexa Lisbon had never felt so free in her entire life.

"What was she talking about?" Jeremy asked, looking to his wife. Terrified, Harper turned to him… not exactly sure what to say.

* * *

><p>Emily felt anxious. Her mind kept telling her she should be doing something… but what? Reid worked better alone in times like this. Morgan had gone out to grab everyone some coffee and breakfast before he got to work… perhaps she should go over the profile, but that wasn't her job. Her job was to 'take it easy'.<p>

What did that entail? Should she just go back to the hotel and get some rest? Maybe sit with Riley in the hospital. She seemed so lost and scared when Emily saw her that morning… maybe she could use some company.

"Hey," A familiar yelp came from behind her. Turning in her swivel chair, Emily saw Garcia standing behind her, her hands twisting nervously in front of her.

"Hey," Emily answered with a small smile. "Nice to hear you're talking to me. Or is your fury put on hold while I'm injured?"

"Yeah, about that…" She mumbled, stepping closer. "I'm sorry…"

"Pen-" Emily began.

"No!" Garcia shook her head. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset… I mean, I was angry and really hurt, but… I should have understood. I mean what are girlfriends for?"

Her smile becoming more sincere, Emily pulled out the chair beside her. An invitation to sit. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you… believe me, it was not because I didn't trust you… it wasn't even because I didn't want to… there's nothing I wanted."

"Really?" Garcia asked as she excitedly sat down, her curiosity finally able to come forth.

"Oh, yeah!" She moaned happily. "This is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, Pen… and I couldn't even tell anyone about it. For years! It got a little better when Riley found out, but… when all of us girls would hang out, and you three would brag about your hubby's and give me that… look…" She shook her head with sadness.

"What look?" She wondered.

A look no one knew they gave, but one everyone could recognize. "That "don't worry, you'll find someone, too, someday" look. I wanted to shout from the roof tops about my wonderful guy… but I just had to grin and pretend I was alone… and loving it, too, so you wouldn't set me up with some loser."

"I'm sorry… I had no idea we made you feel so left out." Garcia assured.

"Well… I could have brought it up, especially after Riley found out." Emily said, taking the blame. "I was just trying to think about the team… and protecting what was already a delicate situation, I didn't want to ruin what Derek were building… I do trust you guys.

"You better." She joked, giving her a poke on the arm, forgetting about her bruises for a moment. Emily hid her wince of pain. "I forgive you, but I'm still going to rip my boy's tight ass a new one when we get home. He swore to me for over three years he didn't have feelings for you… I always knew he gave you special attention."

"You know, I don't think he was lying before." Debated Emily. "I mean… I liked him and I'm sure he had some kind of feelings for me, but… it never felt like anything more than a little crush. We never really felt something real until…" she closed her eyes and uttered with a deep sigh, "that first kiss. We were so distraught about Reid that night, we didn't let any inhabitations get in the way… imagine if we had."

Garcia was grinning excitedly, never seeing her friend so blissful as she slipped into some happy place. It must have been exhausting to keep up this pretense for so long.

"Sounds like you two have a real connection." She said. "For the record, Em, it is a big risk to the team… but in all honesty, if you guys are happy, I'm happy for you. I think it's worth the risk. And I'm sure JJ does, too."

Emily knew she still had to talk to her. That would be her next course of action, when she got the time. "Thanks, Garcia."

"So," she leaned on the desk. With an arch of her eyebrows and a suggestive smirk, she questioned, "How serious are you guys?"

Emily didn't exactly have an answer to that. "Semi-serious."

"You hesitated, why did you hesitate?" She questioned, sensing something.

She wasn't so sure how to put this. How sick and pathetic would is sound if Emily were to tell the truth? That she was too twisted to admit she was in love with the man that loved her. "I'm just nervous… I've never gotten this serious with a man before. And Morgan's the same way with me… neither of us really know how to navigate through it, and saying it hasn't been easy is an understatement."

"The good news it, Heaven willing, you only have to do it once. If he's the right one." She said cheerfully. "Do you think he's the right one, Sweetie Pie?"

No answer, Emily looked away, searching – more like begging – for something to appear as a decent change of subject. Gaping at her, Garcia cried out.

"Oh my God, Em… do you love him?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

She'd barely been able to admit this to herself. "What is love?" She answered vaguely, looking away.

Garcia smiled excitedly. "You love him!"

Emily didn't say anything, closing her eyes as she felt the warmth spread into her cheeks. Garcia squealed and giggled with joy, practically jumping up and down.

"Oh, I can't believe this!" She exclaimed. Emily opened her eyes to find Garcia beaming at her. "My girl is in love! And with a super sexy hunk, no less!"

"Pen, this is not the best place to discuss this!" Emily hissed, wanting to scream at her to calm down. She could see it as plain as day, why couldn't Emily just say it to him?

"Emily Baby, why do you look like you're about to be sick? I don't see the problem here!" Garcia cried. "What's the matter, have you told Morgan how you feel and he denied you?"

"More like the opposite." She confessed, and then, before she became too frightened, "I'm just too afraid to say it… I can't bear the thought of losing him."

"Sweetie, if this is how you feel, you have to tell him." She explained seriously. "All the shoulda coulda wouldas in life can be very depressing, you don't want to have the regret that you wasted time. Like you said, this is new to him, too. Considering what I can detect between you two sparrows, I'm suspecting you may find he's just as scared as you about all these new and wonderful feelings. I know my boy, and he might be a wild mustang on the outside… but inside, he's very vulnerable and very scared… I'm sure he's terrified of losing you, too. Maybe even more, taking the way I catch him looking at you into evidence."

With that in mind, Emily gave another sigh. "I think you're right. Either we can handle the intensity of this relationship or not… and if we can't, maybe that's for the best to find out now. I can't waste the rest of my life with someone who doesn't want to give me everything… or someone I don't want to give everything to."

"I don't think you'll be disappointed." She grinned. "Speaking of which, I have to ask. It's a little personal, but… indulge me. We've got plenty of time to spare right now, so let's not waste it. I want to hear every little detail."

"Fire away!" Emily allowed.

"First thing's first, let's get the most important questions out on the table. What is it like getting tangled up in the sheets with that thunder god?"

Emily was thoroughly embarrassed, but couldn't stop the smile on her face. "Oh… Garcia…" She sighed, her face turning warm. When was the last time she blushed over her man? It made her feel like a teenager. "You don't know what you're missing… it is incredible. I literally pity every woman on the planet because they don't get to make love to that amazing and talented man."

"So it's good?" Garcia wondered with hungry interest."

Emily sighed and answered with a whispered, "Earth shattering."

At once, Garcia launched into a series of giggles and questions, desperate to know every element. Emily was all too happy to oblige, finally getting to feed the desires to brag about her wonderful, loving Derek Morgan. It was the perfect way to pass the morning.


	26. The Benefit of the Doubt

True to his word, Reid was trying to get his mind of things. The best thing to do was keep himself glued to the files, scribbling any ideas he had on the white board. Every time he looked away from the words, all he could think about was Riley. He had to force her out of her mind. A difficult task, seeing as how she was always on his mind.

Moving around would be better than sitting. He didn't need to read the folders; they were purely for his distraction. Going to the white board, he grabbed a marker, starting to copy down all the details that stood out in his mind. Some were obvious, others were harder to see, and a few were ones no one else would even think to consider. There had to be a clue somewhere to where this unsub was hiding… and it had to be somewhere with these boys.

A knock on the pillar sounded, but he miss a beat. "What's up?" He asked, scribbling.

"I, uh…" Alexa voiced. "I was wondering if you needed any help."

At that, Reid froze, his hand in the middle of the word playground. He took a hard swallow, his shoulders hunching a bit as he gathered himself and continued. "No… thank you."

"Maybe I could get you some coffee?" She suggested.

"My friend went out to get coffee, so… I'm fine." Reid informed sternly. There was nothing for her here, she needed to leave him alone. He was developing a soft spot for her, but still he wasn't ready to let her infect him. Mainly because it would force him to admit he was wrong.

She had to keep pushing, though. Spencer had to know the truth, had to know that she was sorry for everything she'd done. That she wasn't that person anymore.

"Well… can I please just stay in here? I just… I need a break from everyone and I can't be around those people anymore. I'm hoping if I'm near you, they'll leave me alone."

So she was using him. Two days ago, he'd have taken joy in refusing her this. Today, he took pity on her. "As long as you're quiet. I'm working."

Alexa agreed, quickly taking a seat. Quiet was easier said than done. She watched Spencer at his task. He wrote so fast. His eyes were unfocused, like he wasn't even seeing what he was doing. She stared at him in amazement. "Wow," she whispered.

"What?" Reid asked as he looked over.

She gasped lightly. "I'm sorry… I just… it's truly amazing how you're mind works. You write so fast, you think so fast… I never noticed it before."

"Actually," Reid said, turning to her a bit. He indicated his notes on the board. "This has nothing to do with a person's intelligence. It's called Automatic Writing, it's kind of hypnosis. Our conscious minds can process sixteen bits of information per minute, but our unconscious minds can process eleven million. Writing like this is just a technique of shutting your conscious mind off and relying on your sub conscious. The fact that I can do this isn't a suggestion of intellect, it's discipline. Much like driving or knitting, eventually your mind just directs you without you knowing it. By learning this and relying on Automatic Writing, you can allow yourself to unlock information you may not be aware that you have. With enough practice and training, anyone could learn how to do this. I honestly don't know why more people don't."

With a light chuckle, Alexa shyly smiled. "I think that's the most you've ever said to me. At once."

Embarrassed, Reid turned back to the board. "Yeah, well… it's not important."

"No, it is." Alexa retorted. "You should be proud you know how to do that. I doubt I ever could learn something like that."

Reid shrugged. "My teachers started training me when I was thirteen, it took me until I was about seventeen before I mastered it. Believe me when I say, it's not easy. I've been trying to teach my wife for almost a year now, and… she can barely make sense of what her hand's been scribbling. But she'll get it."

She was about to suggest maybe he should teach her, but decided against it, unsure how he'd respond. She feared he would just get angry. "I don't want to put more pressure on you… but do you have idea where Peter might be?"

"I think by now, he's in Utah," Reid explained at once. Inadvertently, he was letting his guard down. "Our best guess is somewhere close to the Nevada state line, but it's still a vast amount of space, and since all the other boys died different ways, it's hard to narrow down a localized area."

She took a deep breath, willing herself to keep from crying. Alexa asked the one question that meant more to her than anything. "Do you really think Peter is still alive?"

Reid wasn't sure how to answer. It was just a theory. If they hadn't found a body, the chance of that theory being correct was better… but there was still no way to be certain. In times like this, hope could be crippling.

Slowly, Reid took the cap and closed his marker. Setting it on the ledge, he turned to the grieving mother, having the compassion he should have had for her two days ago.

"I think you have reason to believe he is." Reid stated. Inch by inch, he made his way over to her. "I wish I had a better guarantee for you, believe me… there's nothing I hate more than these cases when innocent children are killed. But I promise, we're doing everything we can to find him. If he's still alive, right now… there's no better hope than this team when it comes to bringing him home. We never give up."

Alexa looked up, meeting his warm hazel eyes. "I guess I came to the right place, then."

He should have been more understanding when she showed up. She wasn't trying to hurt him or reopen wounds, she just wanted to find her son. Isn't that what every parent does when they come to the local authorities? They just want their baby.

His baby might only be a few weeks into development, but he understood that more right now than he ever had before.

"I'm sorry about your wife, is she okay?" She asked.

He hadn't realized the others had heard about that. He suspected the rest of the team had been gossiping. "She'll be okay," Reid nodded. "And… well, if she doesn't miscarry before Tuesday morning… the baby should make it to term."

"Oh my God!" Alexa cried, appalled. "Spencer… I am so sorry, what did he do to her?"

"What… no," Reid corrected. "This isn't about your husband… I stopped him before he did anything to hurt her. She was in a car accident last night."

She sighed with relief, but only lightly. "Oh… I hadn't heard. I'm so sorry… I hope she'll be okay."

"Thank you," Reid mumbled. It seemed his subconscious was still in control, leading him to take the seat beside her. "I want to be positive, but… it's hard when I keep thinking of all the bad things that could happen. Bad luck tends to follow us around like a plague… I just wonder if maybe it would be wiser to expect the worst. She'll be devastated enough, if I'm prepared, I can be strong for."

Even in a moment of grief like this, his concern was for her. That was beautiful. Alexa noticed, he seemed to be opening up to her. Perhaps if she reached out to him… he'd finally reach back.

"I take it this pregnancy wasn't something you planned." She mentioned.

That was pretty obvious, after the spectacle from last night. "No… I mean, I've wanted children with her since the beginning… but she had a very abusive childhood, she's never wanted children for fear history would repeat itself. That's understandable, but she has troubling seeing that life will be different… even if she has a better outlook, I can tell she's still terrified."

"Well… that's something about abused people." She replied. "If people beat you up enough, physically or emotionally, eventually that pain becomes a part of your life. You become so twisted, you can't imagine a world without it."

It was interesting hearing Alexa say that. It gave Reid an epiphany. This woman was a part of a whole world that tortured him, a world he was forced into every day. But he at least got break from it. His home wasn't an easy place a lot of the time, but it was his home. There were times he'd had some of his best experiences, happy with his mother. Riley didn't have a home… she had to live in her hell, she never got a break. Life with Reid was the first safe place she ever had… no wonder she didn't want to ruin that.

"Just wait until she's 18 weeks in." Alexa reassured with a small smile. "That's when she'll really start to see things differently."

"What's so special about that?" He wondered.

"That's usually when a first time mother starts to feel the baby move." She explained. "The first time she feels that flutter inside her… nothing in her life will be the same. She will be connected to that baby like nothing else."

"I remember feeling my friend's stomach when she was pregnant." Reid said. "I put my hand on her belly and he kicked me… It just… freaked me out."

"I think you'll feel differently when it's your baby kicking your hand." She said.

Reid was curious, "How did John feel when you were pregnant?"

"Oh," Alexa sighed, backing away a bit. Her eyes looked downward, focused on the table. "Well… he's uh… not the best of examples."

There was an awkward silence between them. Alexa couldn't look at him, but Reid was just the opposite. He watched her with great interest, taking in everything about her. If his twelve year old self could see him now, getting to stare at her all he wanted…

"What?" She finally asked, looking over at him. "If you want me to leave…"

"No, you don't have to." He said. It wasn't uncommon he made people feel uncomfortable under his stare. He wasn't sure what it was that bothered people so. "I was just thinking… I wish we could have talked like this twenty years ago."

She paused, taking a deep breath. "Yeah… imagine how much we could have learned about each other."

"You, uh…" He cleared his throat nervously. "You probably didn't know this, but… I was really in love with you in high school. I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world."

She blushed a bit, "And now?"

"Well, you are an attractive woman… but as you may have guessed… someone else has taken your place." He grinned, looking away.

Sadly, she bowed her head a bit. "I'm glad… because believe me, I may have been pretty on the outside… but if I was could have been shown on the outside, I'd been hideous. I didn't deserve to have someone like you in love with me."

"Alexa," Reid began.

"No," She held up her hand. She had to say this. He didn't have to forgive her, but that wasn't what this was about. "Spencer… I'm sorry about the way we treated you, you didn't deserve that. I hate myself for what I did to you… for every single second, I'd give anything short of my child to take it back. I was a horrible, horrible person…"

She started crying, trying to look away from him so he wouldn't see. "And look at you… you turned into such an incredible man, you've done so much good for the world. You're so special and we just tried to destroy that… I see bullies all the time today. My daughter is always a target for them and I hate it because I knew I was just like them. I don't know what advice to give her… like those poor boys in Minnesota who killed themselves because of bullying… I knew they did it because of people like me."

At that, she had no more words. Alexa knew she had no right to cry, but the emotions were just too much. All that hatred and remorse blending and boiling over, she didn't have the strength to deal with this.

Surprisingly, she didn't have to. It was a shock when she felt someone move closer to her… tugging at her and pulling him into her arms.

"Alexa…" Reid said as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You were a kid… that doesn't make it right, but… everyone makes stupid mistakes when they're kids. Even me… what's important is how you deal with it now. The fact that you've changed and know what you did was wrong… to me and the other kids you bullied… it proves that truly, you are a good person."

She just kept crying, leaning into his strength as he comforted her. "Do you understand me?" He asked. "Look at me."

Pulling herself up, Alexa met his gaze with puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He gave her smile. "You understand, don't you? You're a good mother and a good person… and I forgive you."

She gasped, "Really?"

"Yeah," He nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt in the first place."

"I think that was justified." She consoled. "I should have sought you out years ago to tell you this."

He shook his head, "Alexa, really, it's not necessary. Though it would have been nice if we could have buried the hatchet a long time ago. Knowing this is who you really are, I think you and I could have been really good friends."

"Well… we can be friends now." She insisted. "We can still make up for all the years we've been missing."

Missing… the word struck in Reid's mind. Missing…

Each of the boys were reported missing… long before their bodies were found. There was a large window between the actual disappearance and the discovery of the body, all the deaths happened within twenty four hours of the bodies being discovered… so if they were missing for all that time…

"Oh," Reid sighed, his mind suddenly clear. It was so obvious, why didn't he think of that before?

"What?" Alexa wondered, backing away a bit, disturbed. "What is it?"

He let out a low groan as he backed away. Something made his mind slow down, maybe his lack of sleep, maybe his anxiety, maybe the worry for his wife, but a few moments of distraction proved very essential. "I uh… I'll be back, I have to…"

There wasn't time to finish. Reid rushed out of the conference room in search of Garcia. It took only a moment to find her, sitting with Emily at her laptop, both discussing about anything but the impending case.

"Reid," Emily exclaimed as she stood up, surprised. "What's going on?"

"Where's Morgan?" He asked, exasperated.

"He just called, he got held up at the coffee shop, but he'll be here in a few minutes." She explained. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, he doesn't need to go over the profile, it's fine." He said. "We just forgot something."

"What is it?" Garcia asked with enthusiasm.

"The unsub doesn't have a criminal record, and he might have a family… but if this guy is a twinless twin, he'll be almost certainly attached to someone to try and fill that void before he started killing. And that means somebody has to know this guy, somebody who is in the dark about these deaths. And if this unsub takes these boys away for weeks or months at a time… someone has to be missing him."

Garcia grinned, putting in a new search, already feeling closer to tracking this killer down. "Your brilliant mastermind strikes again!"

"Let's just hope I'm right," Reid said, exchanging a worried yet hopeful glance with Emily.


	27. The Suspect

Riley was on her feet. Her legs were shaky, but she managed to walk the distance from the bed to the bathroom. Her head ached a little and was exceptionally nauseas, but for the most part, she wasn't so sore. She clutched at the seam of her gown, not wanting it to fall open before was back under the safety of her covers.

As she was halfway back to bed, there was a knock on her door. That was odd, she didn't expect to have any visitors. Spencer and the hospital staff just entered without warning. "Come in," She said cautiously.

The door opened slowly and Riley was delighted to see who the arrival was this morning. "Aaron," she sighed as he stepped in.

"Hey," He said gently, stepping into the room. He carefully pulled her into a hug. "How are feeling? I was so worried about you."

"I'm alright," She mumbled, leaning on him for a minute. "Just… sick, mostly. I've been throwing up most of the morning."

"Here, let's get you back into bed." He said, keeping an arm around her. Gently, he guided her the rest of the way. "Reid would have a fit if he saw you up like this."

"Thank God he's not here," Riley grumbled. "He'd order the nurses to put a catheter in me so I'd have no excuse to get out of bed."

Hotch laughed, knowing she wasn't exaggerating in the least. As she climbed back into bed, he let her lean on him, and then preceded to pull the blankets back over her. She rested back on her pillow and struggled to catch her breath. A simple journey made her so exhausted. "I don't think I'd feel so bad if I wasn't so sick and tired, not to mention I have to keep getting up because I keep having to use the restroom."

"Well, I may not have gone to med school like you, but my hope would be if your body was more likely to lose the baby, the pregnancy symptoms would be nonexistent. At least to a lesser degree." Hotch said as he sat down, taking the same chair Reid had made camp in all night.

"That's what Spencer, thinks, too." Riley said half-heartedly.

"But not you?" Hotch questioned.

Riley hesitated. Her hand went down to rest on her stomach. Practically flat but for a small fleshy pouch that she couldn't get rid of no matter how many crunches she did. She couldn't help but wonder how this spot would look in a few month's time. Would it be the same… or would it be bigger and rounder with something moving in there. Riley couldn't even imagine what that would feel like.

"I want to," She muttered, her finger's brushing lightly over the fabric of her blanket. "But… old habits die hard. Even after all this time, at grave moments like this… I can't help but expect the worst, especially when it's the last thing I want."

"So…" He said, a smile began to break through his face, "it is true, then? You've changed your mind about this."

Looking over, her eyes met his. They had a new glow in them… one his profiler instincts could never remember seeing before. "Yeah… but now I'm starting to wonder… did I really change my mind at all? Or did the fog just lift?"

Now his grin could not be denied. "I knew that's how you'd feel if you just gave it some time. You were just scared. Fear has a way of controlling a person, especially if it's been the only voice in your head on the subject for such a long time."

"Yeah, and that voice sounds remarkably like my mother." She added. Riley closed her eyes and rested her head back on her pillow. Her head was very clear now, giving her a better perspective of the life around her. "God," She huffed as she looked up again, turning back to her friend. "You know, I walked away from her ten years ago, I never looked back… and yet she's still controlling my life."

"Because you're letting her." Hotch answered. "I know I didn't know your mother that well, but from what I do know, based on my professional skills… your mother is like a cancer. She's nothing but poison to you and, even though you've cut her out and your life has been spared… you're still haunted by the memory of it and afraid it'll come back again. Even when you know there's no chance. She might not be in your life, but you're not free of her."

"That's not my fault!" Riley cried. She was trying not to get upset, but it was difficult. This was a very touchy subject.

"I know that." He assured. "You didn't chose to be born, you didn't chose these parents. You were dealt a bad hand. How you play it, though, is up to you."

"This isn't a poker game, Aaron." Riley grumbled. "This is a lot more serious than that. Maybe I'll never be free of her. Is this even something a person can get over?"

Hotch knew it was. He knew how she could move past this, but until she came to the conclusion on her own, she'd never follow it. "You're the psychiatrist, you tell me."

No one made a worse patient than a doctor. Riley thought for a long time. Had an agent walked into her office with these problems, it would probably be an easy diagnosis. It was hard for a person to see herself under a microscope.

"I don't know," She mumbled, already giving up. "Maybe I'm just too weak to get over it."

"Riley," Hotch said sternly, leaning forward, as if to make their conversation more intimate. More serious. He reached over and took the hand closest to him. "You are not weak. You're a wonderful person. You're smart and funny and loving. You have a good heart and an amazing spirit… that's why I love you. That's why Reid fell in love with you… and that's how we know, how we all know, that you're going to be a good mother. But I don't think you'll ever believe that until you force yourself to let go of this shame. You know what Sean and I went through with our father, so I know how it feels to live with that humiliation. But believe me when I say that life is better when you let that weight go. This isn't a cross you need to bear. If you don't let it go, it is going to eat away at you and you could end up hurting the people you love. That's always been your biggest fear, isn't it?"

It really was… Riley leaned back on her pillow. Aaron had a point, instead of running away from the possibility of hurting the ones she loved, she should try to run towards it and keep it from happening… but how was she supposed to do that?

Hotch could tell she was tired. He didn't want to keep her awake when her body needed all the rest she could get. Besides, he had more pressing matters he needed to get to.

"You've got a lot of time to yourself today, you think about that." Hotch said, squeezing her hand as he stood up. "The answer might not be easy to spot, but obvious things are often too big to see clearly."

"Wait, you just got here!" Riley exclaimed, suddenly realizing how weak and sore she was, her eyes starting to get heavier. "Where are you going?"

"I need to be somewhere right now, but I'll call you later." He said kindly, and with that leaned down to kiss her forehead. A loving gesture he only did for her and his son. "You rest, you need to get your strength back."

Riley muttered with a nod. "Okay."

Hotch gave her hand one more squeeze, ready to head for the door. But he stopped, looking her over… thinking about how far she'd come since they met. He'd known this girl for a very long time. He saw her as a little girl who was too young to see anything but good in the world. He watched her grow from a teenage girl to the woman before him… and she was an incredible woman. He knew she could do this, if she could just see the big picture. And she and Reid and their baby would be better for it.

"Do you remember the day we met?" He asked.

"At your wedding rehearsal?" Riley clarified. "Not really. I mean, I remember seeing you and Hayley… and I remember going down the aisle and I remember the dress I wore at the wedding… and I remember my parents getting into a huge fight at the reception, but other than that."

"No… I mean… the day we really met." He asked. "At your interview?"

At that, she smiled. "How could I forget? I was so nervous that day, thinking how the next hour could make or break my future, which I already felt I'd lost. I was shaking so badly… I ended running into a kid and falling over."

"That's exactly what I mean." He said. "It was obvious you were nervous, you knew there was an all but certain chance you would fail, but you didn't give up. You were your real self, you didn't let fear get in your way… so why are you doing it now?"

There wasn't an exact answer for that… Riley wasn't even sure if there was one.

"Get better," He ordered. "I'll talk to you later… and think about what I said."

"I will," Riley replied, watching him step out. The door slowly swung closed, leaving her alone once again.

She sunk down into the covers, wishing she was at home. It was hard to get comfortable in a bed she wasn't familiar with, especially alone. Remaining on her back as the doctor suggested, Riley rested back on her pillows, letting her body relax and her mind take over.

It was funny how quickly a person's life could change. This time yesterday, she thought she was just suffering from the flu… a stranger knocked her over outside a restaurant one day, and she ended up falling in love with him… one hour long conversation got her into one of the most prestigious schools in the country and saved her from an unbearable future. They were times she was just her own person. No matter what was going on in her life, however happy or scared… she was herself.

But then things changed, and she was suddenly blinded by a shadow of doubt, controlling her every thought and move. She got into Harvard, but tried to sabotage herself by letting her rebellions get in the way. She fell in love with Spencer, but tried to push him away and eventually ran, almost losing him forever. She found she was pregnant and just assumed she, her husband, and their baby would be better off if she terminated… Riley thought she was trying to protect people from herself. Maybe she wasn't… maybe she was just afraid to be happy… but why?

She was so tired, she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, the quiet of the room soothing her to sleep. Her thoughts blended together as she started to drift off, unable to forget what Hotch had just said. Riley hadn't thought about the day Aaron interviewed her in a long time… but it had been one of the most important days of her life… more important than even she knew…

"_I don't know if I can do this." Riley moaned as she stepped off the elevator. Sean Hotchner was right beside her, leading her onto the sixth floor. Two glass doors lead to a very busy office area, swarming with agents. From here, they all looked like men. No surprise, even at the turn of the millennium, the Federal Bureau of the Investigation was still male oriented. The FBI seal was painted in black with the title of the Behavioral Analysis Unit on it. She knew very little about what Sean's brother did, but it was something about human behavior. If Sean didn't openly tell her what it was, Riley could only assume it was something dark and dangerous._

"_You are going to do great!" Sean assured, putting his arm around her. He led the girl down the hall, away from the glass doors. "Aaron is very excited about meeting you, I know you'll do fantastic today."_

_That was easier said then done. Today meant everything. This was what she'd been working towards just about her whole life, this was her ticket to get out of that horrible life, to maybe find a place where her very existence wasn't despised. If this interview didn't go well, Aaron Hotchner wouldn't give her a good recommendation and that was that… her dream would be over before it began."_

"_You're sure I brought everything I need?" Riley wondered, glancing at the thick pile of binders and papers she'd brought "Transcripts, college essay, references-"_

"_Riley," Sean urged, giving her a smile. "You need to relax. Look, Aaron can be a bit of a hardass sometimes, but… I know my brother. If you're calm and be yourself, he's going to love you. In fact, you remind me a lot of him when he was your age, I think the two of you are going to get along very well. This interview is a shoe-in. You don't need to worry so much."_

"_Spoken like a true underachiever," Riley teased. She took a deep breath, anxiety bubbling in her stomach. The sound of the elevator disturbed her and Riley watched as two people got off. An elder man with the demeanor of a professor and a young boy. He looked about her age; a skinny teen with chestnut brown hair and glasses, which he kept adjusting. It subconsciously made Riley adjust hers. These men were nothing important, not to her. Not to today._

_Turning back to Sean, she let out a sigh. "I wonder how my parents are doing."_

"_I'm surprise you care." Sean remarked._

"_I don't really, I'm more just hoping they still think I'm at Jeanette's." Riley said, referring to the girl she held a lukewarm friendship with, but a person her parents believed was her absolute best friend. "If they realize you took me to get a college interview… in DC no less-"_

"_I know, you're dad will string me up… that is if he's not too strung out." Sean spoke very sadly, still mourning the loss of what was once a great friendship. "Have you decided what you're going to do for finances?"_

"_What can I do?" She shrugged. "The most I can hope for is a partial scholarship, maybe some financial aid… I've been looking into student loans. It's a little complicated, but I can manage it. I'll be weighed down with debt the minute I graduate, but… I think it's a small price to pay for what I'll gain."_

_Sean had to agree. "I'm going to go see what's taking my idiot brother so long. Are you going to be alright here?"_

"_Yeah," She nodded, folding her arms. Sean gave her a loving pat on her arm and headed down the hall in search of Aaron Hotchner's office. She suddenly realized just how dry her mouth was, she needed a drink._

_The water fountain was occupied as she walked over, waiting patiently as the gangly boy took a long drink. She wasn't sure where his friend went, but the boy was alone now, just like her. Not that it mattered._

_As he stood, however, he must have been distracted. He didn't notice her as he turned, smacking right into her. Riley was knocked square off her feet, her papers flying around her, joining his in the downfall. "Oh, geez!" She uttered._

"_Oh, I'm sorry," The boy whined. Riley noticed he, too, had fallen to the floor. Well, at least she took him down with her. "I… I didn't see you."_

_Besides the mess, there was no harm, no foul. "It's alright," She said, brushing it off. She really hated wearing a skirt right now, struggling to squat and keep herself covered. That's all she needed, to give a free peep show to some complete stranger. That was every seventeen year old boy's dream, after all. "Are you hurt?"_

_He, however, couldn't even look at her. She could see his face turning red behind his glasses, staring directly at the floor. He was so bashful, it was actually kind of cute, Riley noticed. "No… you?"_

_She smiled, "I'll live, don't worry." She replied with a giggle. Still, he wouldn't look at her, yet Riley found she couldn't take her eyes off him. She was completely hypnotized by this boy. Something about him enchanted her so… yet, she couldn't put her finger on what. He wasn't like any boy she'd ever met before. Maybe it was because this was the first boy she'd ever met who didn't have an understanding of her family history. He was complete stranger._

_He seemed to calm down a bit, attempting to look at her. She noticed his eyes landing on her legs. There, they remained, his jaw dropping a bit as he stared. She rolled her eyes with an unbelieving grin. He might be different, but the basic male instincts were the same in all men. No matter what, they were too easily distracted by sex. Riley had a good grasp on psychology… maybe she might make a good therapist._

_Her papers gathered, Riley stood and got to her feet. The boy gaped at her for a moment longer before quickly looking to the floor again. "I think I got everything." She said gently. "Are you sure you're alright?"_

"_Yes," He answered with a nod, grabbing his disheveled pile as he stood. "I'm really sorry."_

_He hurried away, obviously not wanting to talk. It was a shame, Riley could use someone to chat with for a moment, maybe get her mind off this interview. She watched the boy walk away and couldn't help but notice how awkward he was, like he was uncomfortable in his own skin. He was fidgety and gawky… Riley tried not to laugh, he was just so adorable. And cute, definitely cute. She'd never known anyone like him. Her stomach fluttered with joyful butterflies at just the sight of him. It was weird… it was like something was telling her not to walk away from him. That she would regret it._

_Riley was just about to go over and strike up a conversation with him when someone took her arm. "Are you alright?" Sean asked._

"_Uh… yeah." She said, turning to face him. Sean had been joined now by another man. It had been eight years, but Riley recognized him as Aaron Hotchner, a man who greatly intimidated her as a young girl. The same was true now._

"_Riley, you remember Aaron." He said, indicating the older man wearing a well tailored suit. If Riley didn't know better, she'd never guess these two men were brothers._

"_Oh my goodness, I cannot believe this is little Riley Parker." Aaron said with a smile, one she had yet to learn was so rare. "The last time I saw you, you were just a little girl, with wild curly hair and dragging a Raggedy Ann doll around."_

"_Well, at least she outgrew the doll." Sean teased._

"_Ha ha," Riley said, she offered her hand. "Thank you for meeting with me, Agent Hotchner."_

"_Please, Riley, call me Aaron." He insisted, giving her a shake. "My office is right down here, if you'll follow me. I'm sure you're anxious to get started."_

_Riley followed the men to the corner, but hung back a moment. She stared down the hall to the unit, her eyes landing on the young boy again. He was speaking to another man now, older, but he had a much more relaxed appearance than his friend. It was a shame… Riley would very much have liked to talk to him._

_Just as the boy was turning towards her, she pulled herself out of sight. She didn't want him to think she was stalking him or something. How embarrassing that would be._

"_Riley?" Sean asked, a step or two ahead with Aaron. "What are you looking at?"_

"_Uh… nothing," She answered with a smile. Without further ado, she caught up with the men, heading to Agent Hotchner's office… certain she'd never be lucky enough to see that bewitching boy again._

* * *

><p>Back at the station, things were quiet. Reid was hanging onto this bit of faith that he was right, that Garcia would find someone who fit the profile. There had to be someone… there were clues everywhere and if this didn't fit… he couldn't think what would.<p>

Between that and his wife, his nerves were on edge. A cup of coffee in hand, Reid found himself pacing through the precinct, just waiting for news to come… about anything. There was nothing he hated more than waiting. That empty, useless feeling of having nothing but the chance things might work out… or the horrific inevitable would happen.

The others were trying to be just as patient. Morgan attempted to look over the profile, but with Reid's epiphany, it seemed no adjustments needed made. Besides… he didn't particularly have the energy to focus on that right now. That had to be saying something. Too weak to just sit and focus on a simple profile.

Emily, who had nervously kept one eye on him all day since they left the hotel, came to sit beside him She set another cup of her special tea in front of him, sitting down and giving him a worried expression.

"You don't look so good." She whispered.

"Wow, you really suck at this 'I love you' thing." He said, forcing a smile.

She was not in the mood to joke. "I'm serious, Derek. You look awful, I can tell you feel even worse. You're not getting better. Will you please go back to the hotel and rest?"

"I'll rest when the case is over." Morgan informed. "You're injured, that already puts us a man down. And Hotch, God only knows where he's disappeared today. I can't weaken the team even more by taking the day off."

"This is just precaution, I can pick up the slack." Emily said. With that, she writhed and wriggled her arm and slipped the sling off her arm and over her head, tossing it to the side. "That damn thing was getting annoying anyway. I can handle being in the field, you need more rest than I do. Please?"

He was too stubborn to give in. If he couldn't swallow his pride and see a doctor last night, there was no way he was going to rest today. Reaching over, he picked up his tea, taking a small sip, barely needing to swallow. His nausea was too strong to even handle some herbal tea.

"I'll be fine today." He said, forming a lie. "I think I'm getting better, I don't feel so sick today. Don't worry about me."

She held up a threatening finger at him. "Don't you dare tell me not to worry. Just because I can't say it… doesn't mean it's not how I feel."

He grinned. "If you tell me you love me, I'll go back and rest."

She leered at him. "You're going to manipulate me to do something that we both know is best?"

"Get used to it." He teased. "Now if you were to join me in that bed, that would be a different story."

"How about I just kick your ass instead until I beat you into submission?" She asked, leaning in closer to him. They were both starting to forget where they was and if they weren't careful, their relationship was going to be right out in the open.

"I've told you before, Prentiss." He smiled, longing to put his hands on her and pull her onto his lap. "You don't got to beat me to get me to do what you want… you know I love it when you take charge."

She grinned and leaned into kiss him. Just before their lips made contact and their eyes closed, Morgan pushed her away. Emily was bothered a moment until she realized just where they were. "Rossi and JJ are back." He said, leaning back in his chair… like the girl in front of him meant nothing at all.

"We'll continue this later," She said with a wink and got to her feet. "Hey," She cried as the two agents approached them. "How'd it go with the Gereedos'."

"Unfortunately, they weren't willing to help us much." Rossi informed, both annoyed and despondent. "They held a very sour attitude toward our investigation. They're angry no one saved their son, so they're not concerned about saving the others."

"The mother and father have just been officially divorced, it was hard to even get them into the same location." JJ said. "We spent the first twenty minutes listening their arguing and blaming each other over stupid things. No wonder the unsub targeted them."

"We did talk to Eddie's twin brother, though." Added Rossi.

"Did you learn anything from him?" Morgan wondered.

"Yes, we did." He answered. "He's been very sad since he lost his brother, he doesn't understand why he's gone. But he's very excited to be starting his swim classes next week."

At first, it didn't sound like anything. "Wait," Emily muttered, "Swim classes… Eddie drowned… which makes sense if he didn't know how to swim."

Morgan asked, "It would explain why there were no marks on the body. Do you think the unsub knew that when he made him go into the water?"

"If he made him go in at all." JJ pointed out. "I'm starting to wonder if the boys were trying to escape. Each one only got to a certain distance."

"But who got farthest?" Emily questioned.

Rossi thought of that a moment. "I think we can rule out the first two. They were suffocated within a few days, before they reached their destination. Maybe they were just fighting their captor too much. He tried to make them be quiet and went too far."

JJ agreed. "Okay, so the real deaths to focus on are the two drownings and the broken neck… but it doesn't make sense. I can see one boy escaping, but wouldn't the unsub know by now how to stop his victims from getting away?"

"Maybe he has." Morgan said. "We haven't found Peter yet, after all. I think he's been gone the longest."

"Just about." Rossi concurred.

Their discussion came to an end as Garcia rushed over, a triumphant smile on her face. "I hope at some point during every day, you people realize you would be nothing without me."

"Oh my God, you found something?" Emily exclaimed.

"No, no, my ebony haired goddess, not something. Someone," She held out a print out sheet with a distinct picture of a man who's age fit the range of their profile. "I have a suspect."

"Holy crap." Morgan cried, snatching the paper from her.

"Ah! Paper cuts!" Garica exclaimed.

"Sorry, Baby Girl," He muttered, scanning over the paper in shock. "I just… I can't believe the kid was right. Again."

Emily couldn't help but laugh. "I think I'm finally getting used to it."

"Right about what?" JJ wondered.

"Reid came up with a theory that at the same time the boys would be missing, the unsub would have been reported by someone he was close to." Emily revealed.

"I put that into the parameters of my search. It took me a few hours, but it turned up one and one result." She took back the paper from Morgan to show JJ. Rossi and Emily gathered around to see. "Walter Lovejoy, 22-years-old and lives with his sister and her three children. No prior criminal record, is unemployed and living on disability."

"He's so young, how is he disabled?" Emily questioned.

"According to a psychological evaluation given social services, he's mentally unstable. I'm talking coo coo for Cocoa Puffs! He's never even held a job longer than a few weeks, and that includes the two weeks he stopped showing up. I did a little digging and, prepare to be amazed, I discovered his medical history and it says his illness was triggered by a childhood event. Three guesses as to what that traumatization was."

"His twin brother's death?" Rossi asked, a confident twinkle in his eye.

"Right you are, my dear!" Garcia announced. "Walter's twin brother, Willard."

Reid didn't notice the commotion at first, his mind just so preoccupied, it turned sounds of the outside world into white noise. He couldn't ignore, however, his friends gathered on the other side of the room, conversing almost excitedly about something. Setting his empty coffee cup down, he walked over to join them.

"Hey," He said, a bit anxious. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing, just revealing in your brilliance as usual, Sweet Boy." Garcia grinned excitedly.

JJ showed him the print out. "Meet our suspect, Walter Lovejoy."

Quickly, Reid's nimble fingers took the paper, taking only a few seconds to read all the information. "It fits everything… except Walter's not a fraternal twin. He's monozygotic."

"It doesn't mean it's not him." Rossi informed.

Reid thought a moment before nodding. "True, the profile's not always exact. Was he reported missing when Peter disappeared?"

He didn't like the fact that Garcia hesitated. "Well…"

"It can't be him, then!" He cried. Irritated, he set the paper on the desk, knowing they were back to square one.

"He was reported missing at the same time as both Shin Tachibana and Richard Dubois. He returned after six weeks, though."

"It could be when Eddie Gereedo was taken, his sister gave him the benefit of the doubt." Emily voiced.

"He matches everything else about the profile, Reid." Rossi informed, taking the paper to hold it up for him. "You know as well as the rest of us, it's not always cut and dry. I think it's worth going to speak with his sister. Who knows, Walter might even be there."

If he was there, odds were he wasn't the man they were looking for. Still, though, it was worth a shot to speak to the family. Right now, it was the only lead they had.


	28. Wallie and Willie

Rossi was waiting for him down at the car. Quickly, Reid headed back to the conference area to grab his belongings, not wanting to stray too far from his phone. He'd almost forgotten Alexa was still there until he walked back in.

"Hey," She said, standing up. "I wasn't aware our conversation was over. Is everything alright, you left kind of sudden."

"I apologize, I do that when my mind gets focused on something." Reid said, hurrying into the room. His bag was slouched in his chair, his cell right before it on the table. He immediately grabbed it, checking to see he had no calls. Nothing from Riley yet.

"You… seem a little distracted." She mentioned, getting to her feet. She was almost too afraid to ask, not sure if the answer would please her or hurt her. "Did you… find something?"

He should keep her knowledge to a minimum. She was much more involved right now than she should be, but she'd come this far… she deserved to know the truth. She was strong, he knew she could handle it.

Looking up, he said carefully, "We may have a suspect."

"Oh, God," She squeaked, covering her mouth. A million thoughts flooded through her head, knowing how close they might be to finding her son. Dead or alive, she had to bring him home, but if Reid were right… she might hold him in her arms again very soon.

"Do you know where he has Peter?" She muttered in a shaking breath as she pulled her hand away.

"We don't even know if this is the right guy. We're going to speak to a family member, who might get a clue to where he is or where he kept his victims. There's no guarantee we're on the right track, but it's the only lead we have. It's better than doing nothing at all, looking for something better." He explained.

Alexa was close to breaking down into tears again. She'd been searching and trying for weeks and was down to her last hope. If Spencer couldn't find her son, no one could. This had to turn up something… she couldn't walk away empty handed.

"Alexa," Reid urged, walking over. She looked ready to collapse and he gently guided her back into her chair. "It won't do any good if you get upset. If this doesn't turn up anything, we'll find something else. There's always a clue, always an answer, and I always find it." Sitting beside her, his hand rested gently on her shoulder, making her meet his eyes. "I promise you, no matter what it takes… I will not give up until I find Peter."

She believed him. So many people told her the last two months that they would find her son no matter what, but none of them had come through. None of them cared beyond what they were required to… except for Spencer. He really did care about her son. She could see that from the very beginning, even when he looked at her with such hatred. Nobody cared like him.

"I'll let you know as soon as I find anything valuable. For now, I know it's hard, but try not to think about it. Spend time with your girls, are they still here?"

Alexa nodded, "One of the officers put a movie on for them in the captain's lounge. I'll go join them."

Reid smiled kindly, standing up. "That's a good idea." With that, he hurried to grab his things. Rossi was no doubt out front by now. "It's a lot better than sitting around here all day. Go for a walk, get some fresh air. Your family is finally giving you a break, don't waste it. I'll be back soon."

"I hope you find something." She said as she got up, too.

He gave her crooked, doubtful smile. He, too, hoped they found something… anything.

* * *

><p>Spring Valley was only about ten minutes away. The neighborhood was quiet, no surprise for this time of day. Rossi pulled into the driveway of a modest house, parking right behind a blue station wagon. Someone was home, at least.<p>

He and Reid got out of the car, eyeing the house carefully before they got out. It looked so normal, a place no one would suspect a killer might live. Sometimes, those were the most dangerous of places.

Reid lifted the strap of his bag over his shoulder and followed Rossi up the steps to the door. The older man rang the doorbell, waiting on the covered porch.

"Looks like it might rain." Rossi mentioned.

"If it does, it won't last long, and it will cool off the air for a little bit." Reid mentioned. "The worst time to be here is during the monsoon season, where it rains for days on end. There are flash floods and severe hail storms-" Suddenly, Reid stopped and looked to Rossi significantly. "You didn't really want to talk about the weather, did you?"

"No, I was really just making chit chat." He replied kindly. "Just trying to take your mind off things."

It would take a lot more than discussions about Vegas's meteorological conditions to get his mind off anything that was troubling him. His thoughts were settling and starting to fester in his mind. Every time he looked at the situation, it just seemed worse.

Rossi rang the doorbell a second time, and at that saw through the curtains a light come on somewhere in the back of the house. "So, are you going to see your mom while you're here?"

"Definitely," Reid nodded. "I was planning to stop by as soon as the case is over, but I might wait now until Riley's a little more stable."

"Assuming everything goes well, are you going to tell her she's going to be a grandma?" He wondered.

Reid didn't answer right away. The reason being he didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought about having a family for very long, and he had no idea how his mother would react to that, especially since she despised the woman he married.

"I don't know," Reid shook his head. "It might be wiser to wait until Riley's closer to term or even after the birth. She doesn't deal well with long term things, she's more of a day by day person."

"What about your dad?" He questioned. "I'm sure he could handle the news a lot better."

"Yeah," Reid said softly. "I think he'd be really excited to be a grandfather."

He sounded sincere, but something about his expression told a different story. Eyeing him carefully, Rossi said, "I thought you were getting along with your dad. Are you not talking to him anymore?"

"No, I am." Reid said, glancing over. "I talk to him every couple of weeks, I was going to call him when the case was over, see if he wanted to meet Riley and me for lunch. I'll probably tell him about the baby then… if there's anything to tell."

"That's not the only thing that's bothering you." He pointed out.

Before Rossi could interrogate the poor boy further, the door opened, revealing a woman about 30-years-old. Seeing the men, she heaved a sigh and said, with great determination, "We don't have your cat."

Both men looked at each other, bewildered. "Uh…" Rossi began. "We're not looking for a cat. Are you Bethany Rochester?"

"Yes, I am," She answered, starting to get nervous.

Both Reid and Rossi removed their badges, flashing them before the young woman. "Ma'am, I'm SSA David Rossi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. We'd like to talk to you about your brother, Walter."

"Wallie?" She asked. "Uh… well, he's not here right now, but he should be back soon."

"So you have seen him today?" Reid asked, despondent.

"Yes," She answered. "He was here for breakfast and then he took my twin daughter's to their friend's house for a birthday party. He hasn't come back yet, but that's not unusual."

Reid made a mental note on the mention of twin daughters. As he said before, taking a girl would ruin his illusion. As far as the theory was concerned, those girls were perfectly safe.

"May we come in?" Rossi questioned. "It's important we speak to you about some things your brother might be involved in."

She was nervous and puzzled, but stepped aside to let them enter. "Come in."

Both agents stepped in carefully, immediately coming into a cozy living room. There was a fireplace with a mantle decorated in photographs and family mementos. That was Reid's first stop, knowing he could learn about this family quicker than what Mrs. Rochester could tell them."

"Can I get you some coffee?" She asked. "Something to eat or drink?"

"No, we're fine. Thank you." Rossi said as he took a seat in one of the armchairs facing the sofa.

Mrs. Rochester watched Reid carefully, immediately bothered by this inquisitive young man who looked much too smart for his own good. Without a word to him, she stepped over to one of the night stands, picking up a white monitor. "I should warn you, my toddler has a cold. He's down for his nap now, but he's been waking up crying a lot."

"It's not a problem, this shouldn't take long." Rossi insisted. "How long have you lived here?"

"Almost three years." She answered. "My husband and I bought it together, but he didn't live here very long."

Reid was looking at two framed pictures, side by side. One was of a Bethany Rochester and a man about the same age in wedding attire, beaming brightly as they held each other. It was their wedding day, Reid knew. He and Riley had several pictures similar to this, remembering one of the happiest days of their life. Beside that photo was another of the same man, only he was alone, looking very solemn and dignified, dressed in formal attire specific to the army.

"This is your husband?" Reid asked, indicating the military photo.

"Yes, that's Gregory." She answered.

"He died in Iraq, correct?" He questioned, looking over to her.

She paused for a moment, not exactly sure how this young boy could know that when she'd never seen him in her life. "Yes, a little over a year ago. We bought this house just before he went on tour, right after our youngest was born."

"How was he killed, if you don't mind my asking." Reid wondered.

"No, I'm not ashamed of what happened." She said. "He was a trauma surgeon. A soldier came in with a grenade in his leg that went off before they could remove it. Funny… I had so many people preparing me on how to deal with him when he came home, to help him through the post-traumatic stress… no one prepared me on how to deal with your husband's actual death."

"I'm very sorry for your loss." Reid said sympathetically. "But it was his death that allowed you to bring Walter into your home, correct?"

Mrs. Rochester was stunned for a moment, eyeing Reid suspiciously. "Yes. Not that Wallie and Gregory didn't get along, we just wanted to have a life to ourselves. Give our kids a stable environment and Wallie isn't exactly… stable."

"He's mentally disturbed?" Rossi alleged.

Immediately, Mrs. Rochester turned to him, "Please don't misunderstand, Wallie isn't dangerous. He's caring and kind, he'd never hurt anyone. You have the wrong idea about him, just like everyone else."

"Most people suffering from mental illnesses are nonviolent." Reid answered. "Although they can get violent if they feel threatened. Is this him?" He pointed to another picture, knowing at once it matched the boy from the printout.

"Yes, that was his senior photo." She answered. "He never went to college. He tried to live on his own for a while but, even with Gregory and me paying his way, he just kept struggling. He never took his meds, never showed up for therapy, he'd disappear for months at a time… when my husband died, I needed extra help. Wallie's great with the kids and this way I could keep an eye on him, it just made sense."

Reid had seen enough of the photos, walking over to officially join the conversation, sitting beside Mrs. Rochester on the sofa. "You still call him Wallie."

"He likes Wallie, that's all he's ever been known as." She answered. "In his mind, he's kind of like a child. Sometimes, he's a little more lucid and acts like a young adult. He can drive and function like an adult wood, but his personality and interests mimick kids more than people his own age. That's fine, it's like having a live in babysitter."

"He's Wallie," Reid said, glancing at his partner for a moment. "So… I take it his brother Willard was called Willie?"

Stunned, Mrs. Rochester eyed Reid with shock. She turned to Rossi a moment, trying to find the right words to respond to this. "How did you know he had a twin brother?"

"Because he's the reason we're here." Rossi explained. "Wallie's mental disorder stems from the trauma and shock of losing his twin, correct?"

"That's what the doctors believe." She answered, looking between the two, disturbed by all this. "I don't understand, why would this be of any interest to you?"

"I know this is difficult, Mrs. Rochester, but… we need to know how your brother died." Reid carefully requested.

She hesitated a moment. They could tell she wanted to ask them to leave. Truthfully, if she did, they'd have no choice but to go. They had no legal reason to be here. "He drowned. It was an accident."

"We know that." Rossi answered. He met Reid's eyes, both immediately registering it was a drowning. "Can you tell us what happened? Specifically."

"I'm not sure that's any of your business." She snapped.

Reid urged her forward. "It's imperative, Mrs. Rochester."

"I'm not telling you anything until you tell me what this has to do with my little brother." She yelled with determination.

Rossi would rather they keep the truth from her. If she knew everything, she might be prone to lie and without real evidence, they might not be able to connect Walter to the murders, let alone find what he did with his last victim. But without her cooperation, they might never find him.

"We have reason to believe your brother Walter is involved with the kidnappings of several young boys over the last year." He informed.

She rolled her eyes and let out a laugh. "That's ridiculous. Wallie couldn't hurt a fly. He still cries when he scrapes his knee. He's still afraid of the dark."

"Please, Mrs. Rochester," Reid beseeched upon her. "I realize you want to protect both your living brother and the memory of your late one, but we need to know the truth. Perhaps you're right, Wallie may not be involved at all, but we can't know that until we know more."

Speech failed her a moment as she considered this. She wanted to order them out, but Reid had a way of appealing to people. Looking over, meeting his comforting hazel eyes, she said, "You're wrong about him."

"Then prove it to us." Rossi said. "Is Wallie responsible for his twin's death?"

"No!" She cried, looking with disgust at both the men.

"How can you be sure?" Rossi questioned.

At that, she gave an answer neither had suspected. "Because Willie's death was my fault!"

A tense silence filled the room. Reid met Rossi's gaze, both mentally trying to debate how to go about this. "How is that so?" Asked Reid.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." She muttered with remorse and sadness, hanging her head a bit. "I was a teenager, I was self-centered and narrow minded… I know I should have been watching them."

Rossi pressed. "What happened exactly?"

She did not want to have this conversation. Not now, not ever, but she had to do it to prove her brother's innocence. "There's one thing you have to know about my parents. There were only two things they cared about. Money and themselves, in that order. They didn't have much time for me and my brothers. We were raised by nannies and servants… really, all we had was each other."

Reid couldn't help but ignore the similarities between the Lovejoys and the Hillman children. Bethany Rochester continued. "I was alright, I could handle being ignored. I learned how to deal with it young, but the boys were much more fragile than me… so I looked after them. I gave them the maternal affection they needed… it's probably why Wallie responds best to me now.

"Our parents spent most of their time working," She said. "My father was an investor, my mother was an executive at an advertisement firm. We didn't see them most of the weak, they barely took time to see us on holidays, it felt more like they were financial sponsors than parents. They showed us love by giving us things… we were strangers with the same last name, except for one week… one week when we were a family."

"When was that?" Reid questioned.

"In the summer, usually in July. We'd rent some cabins by the lake and our aunts and uncles and cousins would come up to join us. We'd all sit around the fire and roast marshmallows and tell ghost stories, it really brought us together… even with my parents fighting, it was nice. We liked it… until the last year we went. The year Willie drowned."

"It was accident, though. Like you said." Indicated Rossi, watching her with caution.

"I know I should have been paying better attention… but it was the only week I really got to be a kid. I felt like I had the responsibilities of motherhood thrust upon me since the boys were born. I was fifteen, the boys were six… I was on the shore with my cousins that day, we were all about the same age. We were in our swim suits and we wanted to swim to the island… it was this large patch of land about a quarter of a mile off shore. There was a little wind, so the water was choppy, but we'd all taken swim classes, we knew we could manage it… but the thing was… the boys had followed me down." She picked her head up, looking first to Rossi and then to Reid. "They were supposed to be with my mother. She promised she'd watch them so I could relax that day, she always broke her promises! Always!"

"Okay," Reid urged. He reached over and took her hand gently, giving her support to get through this. "We understand… what happened."

"They wanted to swim with us, too." She moaned. Tears were starting to fill her eyes as she relived this. "I yelled at them, I told them they were too little, they had to stay there, they weren't even dressed to swim… I knew I should have just stayed with them, or gotten one of the row boats and taken them over, but damnit I just wanted to go myself! I didn't want to look after them anymore. I ordered them to stay… and I thought they listened. I dove off the dock and me and my cousins swam to the island. It only took about ten minutes for us to get there. We explored the beach and the woods a bit… then we relaxed on the other side of the island, we had no idea… what was going on on shore.

"A few hours later, we swam back from the other side of the island, and then walked the shore around to get back to where we were, where the cabins were. I remember my father running at us… he grabbed my arm and slapped me, screaming to know where I was? I told him… he was furious with me… that's when he told me Willie was found in the water faced down… and Wallie was nowhere to be found."

She looked over to Reid, who's presence was more calming of the two. "They thought he was dead… they didn't find him for two days… they dragged the lake, they looked everywhere. until finally, they discovered him on the island. Cold and hungry and crying, telling them he was sorry, he didn't mean it." A tear fell down her cheek as she finished. "They tried to swim after us. By some miracle, Wallie managed to get across, but Willie got too far behind… he watched his brother sink under the water and his body come back up… he couldn't understand what happened to him… he hid on the island, just waiting for his brother to finish swimming across and find him. He had no concept of death… he didn't realize he watched his brother die."

"He still can't comprehend it." Rossi said, sitting up a bit.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Rochester asked. "Why? What's been going on?"

Rossi cleared his throat before he asked, "You reported your brother missing recently, didn't you?"

"It was months ago. He went to bed one night and the next morning he was gone. I knew something was wrong because he always tells me he's going out. Never where or how long he'll be gone, but he tells me so I don't worry. Immediately, I called the police, I filed a report, they started an investigation, there was no sign of him… and then one day, about six weeks later, he just waltzed back in the door. Saying it was nothing. I was furious with him, but I put it behind me. Until it happened again a few weeks later. I filed the report again, the police searched everywhere, we even thought about getting you guys involved… and then he just came back. When it happened a third time, I decided to wait… see if the patterned repeated… and it did. He came back. So when he took off a fourth time, I knew everything would be alright." She gave a small smile. "He came home two weeks ago."

"Has he left since then?" Reid pondered. "Even if it was just for half a day?"

"Uh… yeah." She nodded, thinking. "But that's not uncommon, he's been doing that since high school. He'll take off for about 36 hours, then come home for a day or two, then take off again. He'll do that over and over again, and then he'll change his pattern and be home for weeks. When he's home, he's loving and a big help for me, when he goes off, it's like he's vanished from the face of the earth." She adjusted herself in her seat, looking directly to both men, trying to get her point across. "I don't question it because it's what's best for him. Wallie spent over a decade in therapy and this is the best he's ever gotten. He's been put on meds which I watch, he's relatively normal… this is the best we can hope for. If this is what he has to do to keep normal, I can live with that."

"We can't," Rossi informed. "The reason your brother has been disappearing is because he's been kidnapping young boys."

"No!" She argued. "You have the wrong man, Wallie would never hurt anyone! He's not a pedophile, I would never let a man like that stay in the same home as my children."

"He's not abusing these boys, Mrs. Rochester." Reid explained, still clutching her hand. "Our theory is he's forcing them to relive Willie's death."

That couldn't be true. Bethany Rochester gaped at Reid a moment, appalled he would suspect such a thing from her loving brother. "You… you've got to be crazy." She answered. "Why would he do something like that?"

"Maybe after all this time, he's trying to make sense of it." Rossi answered. "A question we can only answer once we find your brother. We have to know where Walter is, immediately."

"If you're right, and he is the one hurting these boys," she said. "I'm not so sure taking him immediately is a good idea. He likes to do things his way, maybe if I talk to him, I can get him to bring himself in, admit to it on his own terms."

"With all do respect ma'am, even if we weren't in a pressing matter, we wouldn't allow that." Said Rossi. "We can't be sure you wouldn't help him get away to avoid being charged."

"Pressing matter?" She asked, startled. "You mean…"

"There's another boy missing," Reid explained. "And he might still be alive. We haven't found his body yet and each of the victims were found about 24 hours after their deaths. That's probably why Wallie's been vanishing for a day and a half lately… he's going to check if the boy's still alive."

"I don't understand," Mrs. Rochester exclaimed. "What is he doing to them? Where is he keeping them?"

"To know that, we have to find Wallie." Rossi insisted. "Do you know where he could be?"

She paused a moment. "He… he likes to walk around, that's the best I can tell you. He spends time at the libraries… if he hasn't taken off again, which wouldn't surprise me, it's been a day or two since he left." She gulped. "Oh God, he went to see that little boy, didn't he?"

Rossi wouldn't answer. "If he didn't leave, when would expect him home?"

"He's not going to leave without telling me." She informed. "Besides, he promise he'd pick up Hannah and Helen after their party, which is supposed to be over this afternoon. He was very keen on taking the girls, the house the party's at is right by Waterson Park. He loves the park. He likes to just watch the people. He smiles when he watches the little children play. It's calming to him."

"Waterson Park." Reid repeated. "That's pretty big. A lot of ground to cover."

"We'll canvas the area, search around for him." Rossi said as he stood. "We'd like you to stay here and wait for him, if he comes back," He handed her a business card from his pocket. "Give us a call and try to keep him from leaving."

"I will," She answered. "You're not going to hurt him, are you?"

"Not unless we have to." Reid informed. "And judging by what we know and what you've told us, Wallie doesn't seem like a violent person. We'll be in touch soon."

Mrs. Rochester nodded, watching as the two agents headed to the door, stepping out. She sat back down on the couch, staring down at Rossi's phone number in shock, unbelieving her gentle, innocent little brother could do such a terrible thing.

* * *

><p>Stepping outside, a light drizzle had begun. Indeed, it cooled off the hot summer heat of the desert. Reid and Rossi hurried to the car, climbing in and buckling up, ready to get back on the road.<p>

"He's not going to the parks to watch and relax." Rossi said as he started to back out. "He's hunting. He's looking for his next victim."

"He's going to see Peter every couple of days, approximately." Reid began. "Utah is about an hour away from here, judging on an amount of time he'd wish to spend with the boy, probably enough time to give him some food and look after him before he leaves again. Whether he's urging the boy to follow or the boy tries to follow himself is still yet to be proven, but it says the area where he stashes his victims can't be more than about four hours from his home."

"It's got to be hidden, though. A lot of people are vacationing this time of year, especially near water." Rossi said. "It's got to be a place tourists and campers won't access easily."

"And where would that be?" Reid wondered.

"Call Garcia, have her look into that camp ground the Lovejoys frequented all those summers. I wonder if the place is still in operation." Rossi said. "If it's run down or in disrepair, I think that's the perfect place to stash a victim."

Reid pulled out his phone, watching the spatter of rain fall on the windshield. There was something off about this though, he could feel it. Finding Lovejoy and tracking down Peter so quickly… it was starting to feel a little too easy.


	29. Sunday in the Park

Hours went by and there was no sign of Walter Lovejoy. Rossi and Reid started searched Waterson Park, with Morgan and Emily joining the hunt by scouring the surrounding area. The longer they searched, the more ground they covered, revealing no one fitting Lovejoy's description.

"No, I haven't seen him," A mother said as she looked at the picture of their unsub. "Who is he? Is he dangerous?"

"He's only interested in targeting twins." Reid assured. "We're just trying to see if he's made an appearance in the area. If you see anyone who spots his description, call the local authorities immediately. We have the local police around the area."

"I will," she assured, giving a frightened nod. Immediately, she turned to her two daughters about to ride down the slide. "Let's go, girls. We're going home now!"

Some people just overreacted, though Reid couldn't say he blamed her. He'd probably rush his kids home, too, if he found out a possible child murderer might be in the area, no matter who he was targeting.

He'd spoken to all the mothers and caregivers attending to the children on the playground. Rossi was over the hill there, questioning people along the bike path. The rain didn't last long and the sun was quickly breaking through the clouds. One of the many things he loved about his hometown. The rain never lasted long.

Deciding to take a break and wait for Rossi. He sat down on one of the benches, admiring the children at play. They all looked so happy, so alive and free. His eye caught the sight of a father, pushing his toddler in one of the sings, his chubby legs dangling through the leather straps. The little boy waved his arms excitedly as he flew through the hair, giggling and shrieking. His smiling father laughed with him.

It made his heart ache. He wanted that so much. He wanted to laugh and play with his son in the park. He wanted to read stories at bedtime and watch cartoons on Saturday morning… he wanted everything, every moment, good and bad. There was a time when baby's made him queasy and nervous, not wanting to burden himself with the responsibility of another life, even if it was just a few minutes. He couldn't understand why anyone would choose that… but he was different person now. He wanted one so much, it hurt.

As he watched, a buzzing disturbed him in his pocket, followed by the ringtone for anyone outside the team. At first, he thought it might be Bethany Rochester, calling to tell him her brother had come home. Pulling it out, though, he spotted an unknown number. "Dr. Reid," He said answering.

There was no answer at first, but he heard heavy breathing, like they were trying to stay calm. "Hey, it's me." Riley said on the other end. She was calling from the hospital.

There was no mistake, she'd been crying. "Hey," He said nervously. "I was wondering when you'd call, I was getting worried about you."

"Sorry," She replied. "I fell asleep for a little while."

She fell silent again, and Reid felt his stomach drop out. He could tell this wasn't some routine phone call. "Riley, what's wrong?"

A few sniffles followed before she could force herself to answer. "I want you to know I'm okay… but when I woke up, I, uh… I had some bleeding."

Reid closed his eyes, bracing himself so as not to get upset. So this was it? Everything they'd gone through and it was over like that.

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing he asked. She was his first priority.

"Yes, I'm fine. The bleeding has stopped for now. I don't have any cramping and I haven't passed any tissue. They said there wasn't nearly enough blood to suggest a miscarriage."

He gave a sigh of relief. "Do they have any idea what caused the bleeding?"

"Dr. Tucker said it just might be from implantation, which is normal. It could also be from the trauma of the accident and it'll heal on it's own. She did an exam. There's no definite sign and she said it's probably nothing… but it could mean I'm threatening to miscarry."

Next, all he heard was her soft sobs and whimpers. She was crying and all Reid wanted to do was pull her into his arms. Hold her and tell her over and over that it was going to be alright. He struggled to hang onto his composure. "Riley," He stuttered. "Please… stop crying, it'll be alright."

She gasped and tried to catch her breath. "I'm so sorry."

"Sweetheart, nothing has happened yet." He assured. "The doctor's right, it's probably nothing, you can't lose hope."

"I know," she stammered. "I know, I'm just… I'm worried."

Reid thought for a moment. If he had the keys, he'd already be on his way to the car. "I'm coming to the hospital; you need me there."

"No!" Riley cried. "I'm okay… I was just scared, and I promised I'd tell if anything happened. I don't need you to come sit with me, you do what you have to do there."

"Are you sure?" Reid asked. "I don't mind, I'd rather be with you anyway."

"And I'd rather you be here, but you're needed on the case." She insisted, starting to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so upset, I should have let myself calm down before I called you. You're always overprotective at times like this."

"I think I have every right to be overprotective right now." He said sternly. "You're pregnant and you're hurt… and I feel like I'm not doing enough to help you. If you're sure you're alright, then okay, I won't come… but you just have to say so and I'm there."

She paused, and he could tell she was thinking of going back on her decision. "No, you're needed there. I'll be alright, I promise."

Reid let out a sigh, wished she had changed her mind. "You will call me if anything else happens?"

"I will." She answered. "I actually feel a little better now that you know."

"You're sure you don't want me to come?" He asked one more time.

"I'm sure," Riley said. "I can't be selfish and keep you all to myself when other people need you."

"Why not? I'd do that to you if I could." He said, and was able to smile when he heard a giggle from her. "Call me in an hour, just to let me know you're doing okay."

"I will." She agreed. "Be careful, I love you."

Reid closed his eyes and said, almost in a whisper, "I love you, too." It was so soft and gentle, like he was saying it to her in bed, holding each other as they drifted off to sleep. He waited to hear the click on the other end before hanging up the phone.

As he put it away, Rossi, who had heard the end of the conversation, came into view, sitting down on the bench. He handed Reid a soda he'd bought at a vendor and asked, "What's going on?"

"Riley had some bleeding." Reid answered, clutching his drink. The condensation from the ice fighting the heat moistened his hand. "She didn't miscarry yet, but…"

"That might not mean anything, Reid." He said kindly.

"It could mean everything." He argued, looking over at him. "I just wish I could know either way what's going to happen… I can't stand this waiting, I can't stand trying to be positive when everything in me… just screams at me that the worst is going to happen." It seemed saying this broke a dam inside him, and he couldn't stop it if he tried. "My wife could have been killed last night, my baby might die before it ever has a chance to live… and I'm too weak to protect either of them, I'm too weak to even help!"

"Whoa," Rossi cried. "Who the hell said you were weak?'

He wouldn't answer, instead looking away to stare at his black sneakers. His face was stern and hard, like he was trying to control himself down to the last microscopic expression. He didn't want to open up about this, he could tell.

"What is it Reid?" Rossi wondered. "This is something about your dad, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Reid, if you need to talk, I'm here to listen." He asserted. "You trust me, don't you?"

Of course he trusted him, he trusted his whole team. He could tell them almost anything, but something like this… it wasn't easy for him to let out.

Reid knew he might feel better if he got some of this off his chest. "When I found out Riley was pregnant… I don't know, it was like something woke inside me. I just had this determination that I would be a good father, that I would always be there for my family, no matter what. It wasn't so much being better than my own father, just… being the best that I could be. Now, with everything happening, I feel so helpless… like I'm watching my family destroy themselves and I can't stop it. That's irrational, I know, but emotions aren't always logical or easy to explain… and I'm not trying to answer it, it's just… I'm starting to wonder if he felt this inadequate, when he started drifting away." He glanced at his friend, who's expression was neither bothered nor judgmental. "If that's the case, at least he made it a few years into my life before he starting feeling like this."

Rossi thought about that carefully before he answered, "Have you thought about talking to your dad about that?"

"Why would I want to talk about that?" He asked. He didn't even like talking about it now.

"Because, like you said, you're wondering how he felt." He replied. "Reid, I've gotten to know your dad a bit. I met him when we were here, what was it, five years ago. I met him when he came to DC a few years after that, we talked a little at your wedding… he's a decent guy. Leaving all those years ago was a mistake and he knows that. I think if you need to discuss that with him, he'd be willing to… for you."

Rossi was right, Reid had to agree. "I guess we should discuss it more. We talked about it a little, but not much… I feel so guilty, I've been telling Riley for years she needs to get over her phobia, when I won't even accept that I have one."

"Look, I don't know what you're dad's going to tell you, but it's a fact that every father is afraid before their child is born." Rossi said. "Trust me, you think it's a genetic disposition? I hear the angst of a new dad. Now," He got to his feet, clutching his drink, "if I've put your mind at ease for the time being, a couple of girls bike riding thought they recognized Lovejoy from a man by the duck pond, I suggest we try searching over there. I'll call Morgan and Emily to stick to that area."

Reid agreed, taking a sip of his soft drink as he, too, got to his feet. Maybe he was just nervous, hating to see Riley in pain and his child in danger, powerless to stop any of it.

As they started down the path, Reid was thankful he had Rossi to talk to. He did in fact comfort him for a time, but for some reason, he didn't feel quite satisfied.

It was times like this, he so badly wished he could talk to Gideon. He had come into Reid's life when he was desperate for paternal guidance. The elder man's kindness and gentle demeanor made it easy for him to feel safe… he could talk to him about anything. What would the man say to him now?

Reid tried to consider that as they walked, thinking back to all the times Gideon had helped him and guided him, practically from the very beginning. He'd never forget the day Gideon came into his life, a day that had changed him forever.

He knew he should have been watching for their unsub, but he allowed his mind to wander a bit, leaving the reality around him. Reid remembered one part of that day that invigorated him. It was spectacular and breathtaking… and lasted only a second, never to come into his life again. It was a part he saved just for him. Something secret he never told anyone… including Riley…

_This was it. This was what Spencer had been preparing for most of his academic life. He stood before the vast tan building, intimidated by its size. The headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Investigation… it was just like he imagined._

"_Come on, Spencer, he'll be expecting us." Professor Connelly said, putting a hand on his shoulder to steer him inside. An old friend of his was an agent here, a member of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. He had told him about Spencer's exceptional qualifications and his lifelong preperation in joining the FBI. He believed the young genius would make a good profiler. With that in mind, the agent agreed to meet with him today._

_The lobby was quiet and very intimidating. Spencer was clutching many of his transcripts and papers in hand, proof of his achievements. He wanted to make a good impression today. It could set the path for a remarkable career, the only thing he ever wanted to do. So much of the FBI was wrapped up in politics and national cases, but the BAU seemed like a better fit for him. He wanted so much to help people, tracking down the most dangerous killers of the modern age using mostly mental strength seemed like a job most people couldn't do. It might just be perfect for him._

_Spencer and his mentor rode up to the sixth floor. He kept adjusting his stack of papers, nervously tugging on his glasses. He often become fidgety when he was nervous… he was perspiring right through his clothes, his tie felt like it was choking him. Perhaps he should have dressed more relaxed today, he didn't want this agent to think he was flighty or irresponsible._

"_Relax, Spencer," Connelly seemed to sense his discomfort. "It's not an interview, he just wants to talk to you, get to know you a little bit."_

"_Yes, sir," was all Spencer could think to say. He wanted to make a good impression, he had every reason to be nervous. Then again, a lot of things made him uneasy and tense. It was one thing when he was twelve, a short boy among monstrous teens, always looking to him with new plans to make his life miserable. He was seventeen now, he needed to start acting more like a man. Easier said then done, however, when you didn't have a father to show you the way._

_The elevator dinged as the doors slid open on the sixth floor. Two large glass doors with the FBI seal and the title of the Behavioral Analysis Unit gleamed in black letters. There was quite a bit of activity inside. Spencer looked at them in awe. He wondered if all those men were agents. Not too many women, though. For someone who became clammy and shaking when speaking to the female kind, this job was sounding better and better._

_Only two other people stood here in the hall. A tall man with blonde hair and a leather jacket conversing with a young girl, wearing a simple dress and curly black hair. Instinctively, he looked to the floor. He couldn't even make eye contact with a girl without feeling dizzy and nauseas, it was best to focus on his shoes. He hated dress shoes._

"_Wait here," Connelly requested, going to the glass doors. "I want to speak to him first before you come in. Stay out of trouble."_

_He meant it as a joke, but Spencer didn't have the greatest grasp on sarcasm. "I will, sir," he simply said with a nod._

_Stepping through the doors, Connelly went inside. Spencer focused on trying to breathe slowly. He needed to stay calm, but this was as frightening as his college interviews. At least his mother didn't have to be with him this time. That had been a traumatic experience, and she wasn't even as sick then as she was now._

_His throat was dry, he needed some water. He took a risk and looked around the hall, but the man and girl weren't in sight. At the end of the corridor, he spotted the restrooms, two water fountains positioned on the other side. Quickly, he headed down there to get a quick drink, a difficult task with so many papers in his arms._

_After struggling a moment, he managed to take a long drink. The water soothed his throat and he swallowed graciously, feeling a bit braver about this. He had known long ago that there was always going to be a responsibility on him. His intelligence was more a curse than a gift at times. Regardless, it was a cross he had to bear and Spencer would do it wholeheartedly._

_He suspected Connelly would be back in a moment and Spencer turned to hurry back to the doors. He didn't realize someone had been standing so close. Spencer just had a moment to notice a wave of curly black hair before he smacked into the girl, sending them both to the floor._

"_Oh, geez!" She exclaimed and Spencer was instantly mortified. His and her papers were jumbled in a pile, mixing together like moss on a stone._

"_Oh, I'm sorry," He mumbled, spinning onto his knees to clean up the mess. "I… I didn't see you."_

"_It's alright," She said kindly, as if it were nothing at all. It was hard for her to squat down in her dress in order to gather her things, but she managed it. "Are you hurt?"_

_He couldn't even look at her. He could just hear her cruel laughter at his stupid mistake, it was imminent. His face was warm, unmistakably turning red. This was not what he needed right now._

"_No," He barely uttered out, wishing she'd just hurry up and walk away. "You?"_

"_I'll live, don't worry." She teased and gave a giggle. Spencer cringed at first, but it didn't sound like she was making fun of him… more like just laughing at the situation. No, that never happened. Everyone his age made fun of him._

_Maybe she was different. For the first time in his life, Spencer was actually considering talking voluntarily to a person his age… and a girl no less. Carefully, Spencer glanced at her, watching as she collected her things, checking over which papers were hers._

_He never made it to her face, his eyes stopping as they landed on the skirt of her dress. The ruffles stopped in the middle of her thighs, leading down her nylon covered legs. He was mesmerized by them._

_Spencer still thought of Alexa Lisbon from time to time. Despite everything she put him through, he still held such a torch for the most beautiful girl in the world… but right now, staring at those legs… Alexa had nothing on this girl._

"_I think I got everything." She said, getting to her feet, allowing her long legs to lengthen before his eyes. Spencer realized he was gaping and turned back to his papers. "Are you sure you're alright?"_

"_Yes," He answered, nodding, picking up the disheveled pile and getting to his feet. "I'm really sorry."_

_Without another word, Spencer hurried back down the hall. She didn't call out for him or say goodbye. He felt so lightheaded by this girl and all he had seen was her legs… he felt like some kind of pervert._

_He needed to see her face. Even if it were just once. He needed to know what this incredible girl looked like so he could remember her always._

_As he turned, around, however, all he saw was the wisp of black curls going around the corner, being led away by two men. The one he'd seen before and another in a black suit and dark hair. Their voices faded around the corner and disappeared._

"_Spencer," Connelly called, coming through the doors. Beside him was a man about the same age, with a kind face and wise eyes, holding an impression he had seen more than a human should ever see in a lifetime._

_Spencer came over, nervous again. Connelly eyed his messy papers, but didn't say a word about them. "Jason, this is Spencer Reid, a grad student at Georgetown University. Spencer, this is the unit chief of the BAU, SSA Jason Gideon."_

"_Hello, Spencer," Gideon smiled, offering his hand. "I hear you're an exceptional young boy."_

_Clearing his throat, Spencer struggled to offer his hand. "Thank you… for meeting with me… Agent Gideon."_

"_It's my pleasure." He said kindly. "Why don't we go to my office, I've been looking forward to meeting you, young man."_

_Spencer took one last glance down the corridor, hopelessly hoping the girl would come back around. He thought he saw a flash of movement, but it was just his imagination. There was nothing, just an empty hallway and silence._

"_What are you looking at?" Gideon asked._

"_Nothing," Spencer shook his head, hiding his disappointment. He followed Connelly and Gideon into the BAU, leaving the memory behind forever. He'd never see that gorgeous girl again._

"Reid," Rossi called, grabbing his attention back. "You listening?"

"Yeah," He said quickly, coming back to the present. Clouds were still lolling overhead, the sun playing peekaboo with the earth below. Reid tossed his now empty soda cup into the trash going to join Rossi down the path, staring intently at something close to the water.

The old man lowered his voice. "Look," he pointed over to one of the benches where a young man, barely old enough to be out of college, sat. "Is it just my imagination… or does that guy look a bit familiar?"

Rossi wasn't mistaken. Reid knew immediately the man sitting there, tossing pieces of an old hot dog bun into the water, was not just any passerby in the park this Sunday afternoon… that was their unsub, Walter Lovejoy.

"Call Prentiss and Morgan, let them know we've tracked him down." Rossi said.

Quickly Reid, pulled out his phone. For once, he wished he was a bit more technologically savvy and was able to text at lightning speed like some of his friends. As fast as his pointer finger would allow, he typed in a message and sent it to Emily's phone, indicating they spotted Lovejoy and what street he was closest to. Closing his phone, he slipped it in his pocket.

"Should we… try and catch up with him?" Reid questioned.

"We're going to have to." Rossi explained. "He's getting ready to leave, look."

Lovejoy was getting out of his seat. As he stood, he watched happily for a moment as a few of the ducks dove under the water to fetch the stale bread he'd generously given them. The young man pulled on his baggy green coat, giving the impression of a homeless war veteran, and started casually walking in the opposite direction.

Exchanging a glance, Rossi and Reid swiftly began to walk over. Quickly, they were on his tail, trailing him to wherever his destination led.

He took a quick look over his shoulder, spotting the two agents. He paid them no mind for a moment, continuing on his casual way. A second time he looked, seeing the men were getting closer. He gave them a suspicious glare before picking up his pace.

"Walter Lovejoy?" Rossi called as they quickened their steps.

He stopped, and for a moment, both agents believed he was just going to give up. An immediate victory. Of course, they had to realize it wouldn't be so clean.

Without a glance or a word, Walter Lovejoy took off, dashing off the concrete path up the grassy mound, towards the street. Reid and Rossi ran after him, trying to keep up. Thank goodness Reid was in pretty good physical condition, he didn't get winded as quickly as his older partner.

If he made it to the street, Reid knew it would be harder to catch up to him. It would be nearly impossible with the cars and people walking about, enjoying the end of their weekend. Coming up over the hill, Lovejoy was dashing down the other side, the exit to the park just feet away.

A large SUV pulled around the corner and stopped, right in the middle of the road. Thankfully, the two who emerged were none other than Emily and Morgan, already joining the chase.

Reid had no chance to catch up to him before he made it out of the park, but Morgan did. Lovejoy collided with the burly man right on the sidewalk, tackling him to the ground.

"Where are you going?" He screamed, his fury coming out with his endurance. "Huh? Where are you running to?"

To all their surprise, Lovejoy didn't struggle or yell to be released, instead he rested the side of his head on the sidewalk, letting out a loud wail.

"I'm sorry," He cried. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt them!"

Emily was helping Morgan – who now looked a bit worse for wear – get Lovejoy to his feet. It wasn't easy, but they managed it. He hung his head, blubbering as Emily cuffed him.

They had begun to draw a large crowd, but the agents paid them no mind. Reid and Rossi caught up to the group, seeing the pathetic man sobbing almost hysterically.

"Walter Lovejoy," Emily cried, trying to get his attention, needing to read him his rights.

"Please, I'm so sorry… please believe me, I didn't mean it!" He cried, his whole body was weak and shaking.

Reid had an idea. He got down to his level, trying to look him in the eye. "Wallie… Wallie, look at me."

Between sobbing and stuttering breaths, he looked up to see him, watching him carefully. "You admit that you killed those boys?"

"I didn't mean it," He cried, shaking his head. "I was just trying to save my brother! No one will save him but me!"

This was a lot more intense than just some man needing to relive a death over and over. Rossi took a deep breath, taking charge. "I'll call Hotch and tell him we have our unsub in custody. Take him back to the station, wait for him to calm down before starting to interrogate him."

"We don't have time to wait." Morgan cried, still trying to catch his breath. "If Peter Hillman's still alive, we have to know where he is now."

Rossi didn't know how to answer that. As he looked at Reid, however, he told him everything with just his eyes and the young genius agreed wholeheartedly. Yes, they had their unsub, and now they might be able to bring justice to all those lost boys… but he wasn't in his right mind. He might be unable, or unwilling, to tell them where Peter was. Without his help, they couldn't find him.


	30. Don't Give Up

Rossi had taken watch over the unsub, who sat in interrogation room. The same one Reid had sat in just yesterday to talk to Penny. His arms were folded on the table, his face almost buried from sight. He was terribly frightened. Even outside, through the two way mirror, Rossi could see him shaking. Whatever this man was doing, it was not for pleasure or for malice. He was sick and needed help.

Out of his peripheral vision, he noticed someone walk down the hall and join him before the mirror. "Who is he?" Hotch asked.

Rossi replied without missing a beat. "Walter Lovejoy." He answered. "Fits the profile to T. And he all but confessed when we arrested him. It won't take much to get him to admit just about everything."

"Did he mention Peter?" Hotch asked.

With a shake of his head, "That's what we're concerned about. Even if he doesn't mean it, we're not sure why he's killing these boys, which means he might not give up Peter right away until his mission is finished, or whatever reason he's doing this."

"Do you think we can get his sister to talk some sense into him?" Wondered Hotch, glancing over.

"From what I can tell about her, she'll protect his brother at all cost." He answered, meeting his gaze.

Hotch understood. Rossi was the original profiler, his longtime mentor, and Hotch trusted his judgment better than anyone else's in the department. "Do we have a plan?"

"Reid's working on it." Rossi answered. "I know normally we would convene together, but he offered to take charge of this. I agreed, he's got the most experience with mentally disturbed people, if he can't get an answer out of this guy-"

"Nobody can." Hotch finished. He stared at Lovejoy for a long time, taking in his appearance. It was wrong to judge a person on appearance, but frankly that was their area of expertise. Just from the sight of him, Hotch was alarmed by him. Certainly not a man he'd let Jack near. It was amazing he managed to get close to young children, probably another reason why it was so easy to kidnap each victim. The parents weren't paying that close attention.

"What about the Hillmans?" Hotch asked. "Have they been informed we found him?"

Rossi gave a smirk. "No, I thought I'd leave that to you."

"We need to keep the family up to date." He maintained. "We know this is the man, there's no point it holding it off."

"Except for the fact that Reid put what could possibly be false hope into their heads. " Argued Rossi. "I'm not saying Reid's not right and their son's still alive, but no one's looking after him now. The parents will be hounding us to know where their son is and who knows if that little boy will survive. If he's even alive now."

Hotch couldn't help but disagree, despite the fact he knew Rossi may be right. "I don't think Mrs. Hillman will be like that. She's been supportive and helpful throughout the entire case. I think it's important we tell her."

"Well, you're the boss." Rossi answered, still unable to stop the knowing simper on his face. "Could I ask you another question?"

"I'd say no, but I know you're not really asking permission." He retorted.

Rossi chuckled dryly. "Can you explain why the chief of police suddenly turned this place into a frenzy? I went to speak to the captain about calling off the searches once we brought Lovejoy in and suddenly, he was too busy to focus on our needs. Too concerned on focusing on another case… a serial rape case, he told me."

"The chief of police here is an old friend of mine from Harvard. He owed me a favor." Hotch explained. "I showed him some information Garcia collected earlier and asked him to make it top priority, he contacted the other homicide captains."

"Seems a waste of a favor." He said, finding this all too amusing. "It's a real paint by numbers case when the name of the suspect is already given to you."

Hotch argued, "I gave no name, no indication a suspect even lives within the Las Vegas area. Whomever he brings up on charges is purely based on the evidence."

"So whatever happens is off your hands, very smart." Rossi said with a nod. "Regardless of the intentions, that's very honorable. But if you're not looking for vengeance or glory, why is nailing this guy to the wall so important to you? It's not about bringing justice, otherwise, you'd just flag the files and move on."

At that, Hotch hesitated. Rossi was right again, normally he didn't put this much time into a case that wasn't a priority. This weekend had been abnormal to say the least. He didn't want to admit that what Rossi was seeing at every turn was the truth… that he was developing feelings for a woman beyond friendship or compassion. She was a loving woman with a beautiful smile and a kind heart… who flew almost across the country to grovel before a man to find her only son… that was a strong woman… someone who didn't deserve to be treated like garbage by one who was supposed to be her life partner.

"I had to stop him." Hotch answered. "We've seen men like John Hillman before… I think we've worked with a couple over the last twenty years or so… I hate men like that. I couldn't…" He hung his head a bit, never able to understand why some men were so cruel. "…I couldn't let him keep hurting her."

Rossi didn't find this so amusing anymore. He might not be ready to concede to the truth, but Aaron was showing a side of himself he long believed had perished. Maybe, if Hayley hadn't gotten married, it would still be in hiding. Now it was certain that all hope of a reconciliation was lost. That emotional, passionate side was starting to claim him again. And if Rossi didn't know better, it seemed even stronger this time.

The question was, what was he going to do about it?

"You know, if things work out, you'll have to tell her someday." Rossi designated.

"There's nothing to work out, Dave." Hotch exclaimed, looking up. "She's married for one thing, but that's not the point. In a few days, I'm never going to see her again, and that's fine." He paused, clearing his throat. "That's fine with me."

He wasn't in the least convinced. Hotch finally found someone to help him get on with his life and he wasn't even going to take a chance on it. Rossi did not want to see him give up on what could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Before he opened his mouth to argue, he stopped. Hotch was like him in many ways, but not in this area. Rossi always took the leap when he had the chance, one of the reasons why he was a husband three times over. Hotch was careful, thought out, and meticulous. Maybe this wasn't the right path for him… even though Rossi was fairly convinced it would lead somewhere wonderful, that didn't take a journey through the depravity of humanity.

"I wonder what's taking the others." Rossi said, glancing down the hall. His subtle way of changing the subject, and judging by the elation on his friend's face, Hotch was grateful for it.

But not in the least reprieved.

* * *

><p>"How's everything?" Reid asked as he sat down in the conference room. Riley had called him, as promised, and he was thankful for the break. He needed a few minutes to clear his head before everyone decided what to do.<p>

"I'm okay," She answered. "I ate a little lunch, but… it's not settling well."

"Is it wrong that I'm hoping you keep throwing up?" He asked with a sad smile.

"No, because I'm hoping for it, too." She said. He could tell she felt like crying. "God, I just wish I could get this over with. If I'm going to lose it, fine, but I just want to know. I can't keep sitting here, waiting for the inevitable."

Reid hated to hear her say that, mostly because it shamed him. He was thinking the same way, but it was more crucial to keep her hopes afloat. He shoved his fears back down.

"Hey," He said, forcing whatever strength was left in him over this. "I don't want to hear you talk like that again."

There was a silence before he heard, "I'm just saying-"

He hated to yell at her at a time like this, but judging from past experience, she was not one who took attitude like this lightly. Especially from him.

"I know what you're saying, and frankly, that doesn't sound anything like the girl I married!" He cried as he leaned on the table. "You've always been a fighter. If you weren't, I never would have carried you out of that church in the woods five years ago. So what are you going to do, are you going to just cry and sleep and wait for this to be over… or are you going to fight?"

Again she paused, and he almost cried out with joy when he heard her yell back. "You think I'm doing any of this on purpose? I know it's my fault I'm in here, but you can't put that blame on me! What's going to happen is going to happen, I have no control of it."

"Your mind is a lot more powerful than you know." Reid replied forcefully. "I know that better than anyone. All the mind power in the world can't stop the inescapable, I know, but it's not over yet, not until your doctor confirms it so. You're not a person who just lies there, helpless and scared of the future. You're the most stubborn woman I know… you can't give up now. Not if this is what you really want."

That next silence that came was so long, Reid thought she'd hung up on him. Finally, he heard her sigh, "It is what I want."

"Then I know you can be strong." He sighed. "That baby needs you, it can't survive without you. How do you expect it to hang on if its mother has already given up? It's only eight weeks old, don't put that pressure on him."

"Him?" She wondered. "What makes you think it's going to be a boy?"

"Uh… I don't know." He shrugged. Honestly, the word just came out. "I saw this little toddler in the park playing with his father earlier… I guess that's what made me think of it… not that a girl would be bad."

"I don't know," Riley considered. He could hear an elation in her voice. "I like the idea of a boy… especially if he looks like you."

Reid couldn't help but smile. "A girl would be nice, too… someone as beautiful as her mother."

She giggled lightly, "Can you imagine all that curly hair on a toddler, though?"

He laughed heartily in return. Something told him things had changed. They'd been talking about their baby in terms of hypotheticals, how to prepare for the upcoming change and all. They hadn't even gotten to talking about the outcome. How, when it was all said and done, there would be a little bit of immortality alive in the world… it was fun to think what it might be like.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see which it will be." She concluded.

"Yeah," Agreed Reid. "So… are you feeling better?"

Riley hummed in agreement. "I'm not saying I'm not scared, but… I don't feel like it's all coming to an end anytime soon. Not when I think about it like that." She gave a nervous laugh, and Reid sensed she was trying not to cry again. "I think that's the first time I've thought about having a baby and I saw something besides our life in shambles."

Reid smiled, so happy about that. That was something he'd been trying for years to get her to see. Maybe it was too soon to tell, but he was starting to have a feeling everything was going to work out, if they could just keep their heads.

He wanted to keep talking to her, but a glance towards the pillars told him JJ was waiting to speak to him. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry, but I've got to go."

"Oh, okay," She answered. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Yes. It might be late, but I will be there." He said, getting out of his chair. "I'll be a little busy for a while, but I call you as soon as I can."

"Be careful, Baby, I love you." She said.

He responded, "I love you, too. Get some rest and… just try to take my advice."

"I already have." Riley said. They hung onto the call for just another moment before Reid heard the click and hung up, turning to JJ.

"How is she?" Was the first thing she asked.

"No worse," He answered. "I have a feeling, if we can make it through this… the rest of this pregnancy will be a breeze."

"I don't doubt it." She answered, trying to put a hopeful spin on it, but the matters at hand were too pressing. "We have a bit of a problem. Bethany Rochester just arrived and she's demanding to take her brother home."

"But he's under arrest." Reid argued.

JJ rolled her eyes, as if to say she already knew that, obviously she explained it to the sister. "She's claiming since he's mentally incompetent, he can't understand Miranda, therefore, the arrest is invalid."

"I'll talk to her." Reid nodded, going to step out. "I'll make her see reason. She has to understand a child's life is at stake, coddling her little brother is going to condemn him."

She hoped he could get her to understand, but if anything in the world was certain, it was that people had a tendency to protect their own. It was the same way about knowing Emily and Morgan were dating, as she had been brought to light just yesterday. Despite the fact she knew it was wrong, she'd never turn her friends over, even if coerced, and Lovejoy's older sister would protect him at all cost. Even if it meant dooming the life of another.

Unless it worked in hers and her brother's favor. Quickly, before he was within ear shot of Mrs. Rochester, JJ ran to catch up to her friend.

"Reid," She said, quickly, glancing over to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "I have a better idea. Maybe we can get her on our side if we offer her something in return."

"Like what?" He questioned. He couldn't think of anything they had to give.

"DAs give deals all the time to criminals." She explained. "What if we can assure her Willard will be put in a more pleasing place, like a minimum security mental home, in exchange for keeping him here?"

It was a good idea, in theory. "Do we really have the authority to promise something like that?"

"I'll go talk to Hotch, see if he can make that happen for us. In the meantime, she has no authority to take him out of here without consent, so we need to get Morgan into that interrogation room before she does find an excuse to take him." She insisted.

He agreed. "I'll find him. Stall Mrs. Rochester, but don't give her any indication about our plan. We need to work fast. We're running out of time, if we still even have a chance to save Peter."

With that, he hurried off through the station to find his two missing friends, who were nowhere to be seen. That worried him. At a time like this, they both knew better than to sneak off to be together. Where could they be?

* * *

><p>As JJ was looking for Hotch, he was in the middle of his own search. Close to the lounge he spotted a several people inside with the lights low. Alexa was there, sitting with Penny in her lap, her arm around Meredith. They appeared occupied by some movie on the television.<p>

At first he thought about knocking, not wanting to interrupt them. It wasn't like this was her home, though. Why he felt the need to tread so lightly was a mystery… well, maybe not that much of a mystery. He remembered nostalgically about having this same attitude many, many years ago. When he was trying to work up the courage to speak to one Hayley Brookes… butterflies hatched in his stomach when he got closer to her, the same ones that were thriving now.

This was stupid. He'd been a young boy falling into puppy love then. More importantly, this was a kidnapping investigation. It was a time to be serious, not worried about what the fair sex thought of him.

Opening the door slowly, he poked his head in. The dialogue from the movie almost drowning him out as he asked, "I'm sorry to disturb you ladies. Mrs. Hillman, I need to speak with you privately."

Concerned, she nodded, looking to her eldest daughter while shifting the little girl from her lap onto her sister's. "I'll be right back. Watch her."

"What's going on?" Meredith wondered, looking to the unit chief anxiously.

He gave her a kind smile, "Nothing you need to worry about. I just need to speak with your mother."

"Just watch the movie, girls." Alexa added, reaching over to give her a kiss on the cheek, giving the same treatment to the top of Penny's head. On her feet, she met Agent Hotchner at the door and he led her out.

It closed, taking their conversation away from child's ears. Hotch got right to the point. "We've found the man who took your son."

Alexa gasped, her jaw dropping significantly. After all this time, they had finally done it. The man who took her son. Within a few moments, she recovered, speaking with determination. "I want to see him."

"I don't think that's a good idea." He asserted. "We can't have you getting involved with this investigation, I just wanted to keep you informed."

"No," She shook her head. "I want to speak to him! I want to know what he did with my kid!"

Hotch reached out and gently stroked her arm. "I know you do. Believe me, if it were my son… I'd throttle that man to tell me where he was. But we won't get anywhere that way. Our unsub is a very disturbed young man, we haven't even begun to discuss with him why he's doing this. We need to go about this in a delicate way. In all the combined years of our experience, it's the best technique when dealing with an individual like this."

"You have to at least let me get a look at him!" She screamed. "He took my baby away from me, in the middle of night. Despite any hope I've been given, I know there's a very good chance the next time I see him, he'll be dead… I at least have the right to see the man who did it, Agent Hotchner. I'm owed that."

He agreed fully, but now wasn't the time. "It's best we focus on him right now, but I promise, I will let you see him when the time is right. For now, our concern is trying to locate Peter."

"What do you mean?" She asked. "He doesn't know where he is?"

Hotch wasn't sure how to explain this, giving her arm another comforting caress. Even more tender than the first one. "We haven't begun questioning him yet. We're going to very soon. The reason for the delay is because of his incompetence, and it seems with this arrest and having to face what he's done, he's having a bit of a break down… it may be difficult for him to reveal where Peter is."

The tears in her jade green eyes puddled and oozed out as she broke into tears. Covering her eyes, she sobbed. "My baby… what did that monster do to my baby?"

Nothing in the world could have stopped Hotch from what he did next. A man who so rarely showed any kind of physical kindness, he reached out and took the weeping woman into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. Her arms went around him like she'd known him his whole life, needing his support like she needed air.

For the first time, he felt her hair. Long and wavy, reaching down past her shoulders, and soft like feathers. He pet her down the length of it over and over, just letting her cling to him.

"I promise, if it's the last thing I do, I will find Peter." He assured, and was shocked to realize he was almost crying, too. "I will bring him home."

She had no reason to, but as she squeezed this man tighter in her embrace, Hotch knew Alexa believed him.


	31. Epiphany

Emily returned to the office, a paper cup of cool water in her hand. Morgan looked a little better, but he wasn't his usual self. He needed help, why wouldn't he just listen to her?

"Thank you," Morgan accepted the drink as she offered it to him. He took a long swig. Amazing how good water could taste when you're so thirsty.

Getting on her knees before him, Emily came down to his level, looking up into his cloudy eyes. Her gentle hand caressed his thigh with tenderness, showing him how much she cared. He looked so tired, he needed rest and medicine. This was agony to her, something was wrong with him and he wouldn't even let her help.

"I think you need to see a doctor now." She suggested.

Morgan finished the water and crushed the flimsy cup, as if to show he was as strong and as healthy as he'd ever been… even though every breath felt like a knife was ripping through his stomach. "I'll be okay. I'm not leaving here until we find where that little boy is."

"The others can find Peter, you're going work yourself right into your grave." Emily cried. She scooted herself between his legs as her hands reached up and landed on his cheeks, trying to bring his gaze to hers. He refused to look directly into her eyes, knowing he'd give in from just one look inside them.

A knock on the door sounded, and both looked up to see Reid stepping in. "There you guys are. Everything okay?"

Emily hung her head as Morgan replied. "Better than ever, what's going on with Lovejoy?"

"His sister doesn't want us to speak to him, but we have a plan. Right now she can't do anything, I think you guys better get in there and start questioning him."

Getting to his feet, he took a minute to adjust to the flex of abdominals over his sore area before he asked, "How are we going about this, any ideas?"

"I think it's best we start with a direct approach." Reid had been watching him carefully. If they weren't this close to finding Peter, he would put the entire investigation on hold to force Morgan into going to the hospital. They didn't have the time unfortunately, though he did look horrible. Reid could only hope he was wrong and it wasn't his appendix, which could be close to bursting. Watching him breath looked like an effort more difficult than Reid's first attempt at hand-to-hand combat.

He couldn't help but ask. "Are you sure you're up to this?"

"Oh, Christ, what is it with you two?" He yelled, rolling his eyes as he did a turn in frustration. "I'll be alright, just tell me what you want us to focus on."

Reid caught Emily's worried eye, both debating whether they could force him into submission. They probably could have, but not right now. "Don't treat him like a criminal, just focus on the victims. He knows what he did was wrong, so there's no point in being forceful with him. I don't think he'll cooperate if he knows we're against him."

Emily, accepting defeat for the time being, rose back up. "That's a good idea, though it might be better to go one on one with him, so he doesn't feel he's being cornered."

The three headed out of the office, down the corridor, continuing to discuss strategy. "How's Garcia on pinpointing a location? Any hits?"

"Nothing in the Utah or Nevada areas that compare to what the sister described. She's searching through previous records on Willard Lovejoy's death, but it's like it never happened." He explained.

That was certainly odd. "Are we even sure she was telling the truth?" Morgan wondered. "A six year old boy drowns, that's got to be breaking news, at least in the city."

"Her family was rich, though." Emily pointed out. "Believe me, if you have enough money, you can cover anything. You'd be amazed what kind of things my grandmother was able to get rid of."

Both the men looked at her curiously. Feeling a bit better now that he was moving around, Morgan gave a light laugh. "You've been holding out on us, Prentiss. I wonder what kind of buried secrets that family name is bearing."

"There's a reason they considered 'buried', my dear." She said with a defiant waggle of her eyebrows. "Okay, so we can't find the location or local records on the twin's death. Is it too much to hope Lovejoy will trust us enough to take us to where he stashed Peter?"

There were a lot of holes in this investigation, but there was a minor one, barely visible. In Reid's mind, though, it was a gaping one. It was the fact that Lovejoy wasn't a fraternal twin, he was identical. One minor detail that didn't make the pieces fit quite right together… but why? It shouldn't matter.

"Why don't you guys start with the interview, I need to do a bit more digging." Reid explained, breaking away from the group to head to the squad room.

Morgan glanced at Emily curiously before he asked, "You smelling something, kid?"

He didn't know how to answer that. It might just be nothing, but he needed to be certain.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… to break down like that." Alexa said as she packed away, wiping the tears streaming down her face.<p>

"I understand," Hotch said, trying to comfort her. There was no comfort, though, when it came to the safety of your child. "I only wish I had a handkerchief to give you."

"Oh, you're right, I must look a mess." She uttered, turning away from him.

"No, I just meant… it's the gentlemanly thing to do." He explained. "To be honest, you look… very beautiful."

She blushed a bit, turning to look at him again. "Why do I get the feeling you don't say that to all the grieving mothers."

While the moment was still morbid, and the air between them unexplainably tense, a veil had lifted between them. Both Hotch and Alexa had discovered an implicit truth. They shared something, a bond it seemed they never found with another person before. It explained why it was so easy for Alexa to lean on him, and Hotch had no reservations about being there for her. There was no reason for it, and frankly, neither of them wanted one. They didn't want to know why it was happening, they just wanted to keep feeling it, and hoped it would never end.

Their exchange hadn't been entirely private, ignorant to them. Just before Alexa collapsed into his arms a moment ago, someone in the distance had been about 100 feet away, watching the whole scene. This agent, this man he'd never even heard of before yesterday… holding his wife, like she was his property. Didn't that bastard realize she belonged to him? She would always belong to him, no matter what kind of threats she made.

Now, the way they were looking at each other… ugh, he couldn't take it. How dare she look at another man like that? She never even looked at him that way. Hurrying forward, he called a booming yell to get their attention.

"What the hell is this?" John Hillman demanded to know as he stomped over.

Hotch wasn't fazed by the man's appearance, though it took a lot of willpower to keep the color from draining from his face. He couldn't be feeling this way about Alexa, she was another man's wife.

"Mr. Hillman," He spoke very professionally, not even acknowledging the idea there might be a spark or two between them. "You should know, we've found the man who took your son."

"Oh, that's great," He cried, getting all too close to the agent's face. "Now why don't you go and ask that bastard what he did with my kid instead of hitting on my wife."

"John!" Alexa cried in shock. "That's enough, you're being ridiculous!"

A distinct scent wafted from beastly man, one that Hotch recognized immediately. Scotch, cheap stuff, too. "Mr. Hillman, have you been drinking?"

"Back off, String Bean." Hillman ordered, giving him a shove in the chest. "This is between me and my wife. She is my wife, if you haven't noticed."

"Not for much longer." Alexa pointed out. "You think I was lying when I said I was leaving, I wasn't."

At that, John glared at her, charging towards her. "You actually think I bought that, you crazy bitch? I'm tired of all this. I'm done here, they're wasting our time, so you get those little brats together and you-"

He never got to finish. As he screamed, drawing the attention of several officers within earshot, John snatched the weak woman by the arm. Whether it was the forceful gesture or the fearful expression on her face, Hotch didn't know, but he instantly reacted.

He may have been smaller than the beefy man and about ten years older, but Hotch had always been able to hold his own. He was strong, made of almost all muscle. Easily, he took hold of the monstrous being, effectively yanking him away from the cowering woman. She looked ready to agree to anything Hillman had to say, just to avoid a beating.

"Mr. Hillman," Hotch said sternly, his tone sharp, but his voice calm. "You've already had a confrontation with one of my agents, and despite Mrs. Reid's wishes, don't think we can't find a way to charge you for what you've done. If you're not interested in finding your son, you're free to leave. In fact, I encourage it. However, you're violent streak ends here. Either you leave Mrs. Hillman and her daughters alone or I will have you removed from the building, using any means necessary. Is that understood?"

He didn't want to comply, but John figured he had no other choice. "Yes, sir," He said mockingly. Hotch would have greatly enjoyed knocking him to the floor, but he couldn't do that. Releasing him, John backed away, adjusting his t-shirt. "You have one more day to find my damn kid or you're done here."

He shot Alexa one more deadly glare and she recoiled again. John stepped off, disappearing out of sight. Hotch turned back to Alexa, just to explain he needed to get back to the others, when he found a furious scowl on her face.

"Why did you do that?" She demanded. Her feelings mostly consisted of fear and embarrassment, but it was manifesting as anger, and Hotch was her only outlet.

He hesitated, not exactly sure why she was so upset. "He was going to hit you, I stopped him."

"Oh, God, he wasn't going to hit me! He was just threatening me!" Alexa cried. "He does it all the time!"

"He shouldn't do it at all." Hotch corrected. "He has no right to treat you like that, a real man does not treat his wife like some… animal."

She was barely able to look at this man. Her stomach was churning into knots, she needed to get away from him. "Why are you so obsessed with how he treats me?"

He was caught off guard, unsure how to answer that. "Because I show concern for a woman who's obviously in danger-"

"You know… for a while I actually thought you had my best interest at heart." She cried, folding her arms over her chest. "I even took your advice and told him I was going to move out, but… maybe that's not what's best for us. I just met you two days ago, you don't know me or my family, you don't know what we've been through. You don't have any right to judge me or tell me what to do, Agent Hotchner. I'm not some little girl who needs to be rescued."

He lowered his voice, taking a step closer to her. "I'm sorry if you think I crossed a line, but I've seen this before-"

"Yes, you said that. You were prosecutor, and you saw a lot of wife beaters in your day. I get it, not every man is like that and just because John is… a little eccentric and loses his temper sometimes… that's not a reason to throw a marriage away and break up a family!"

Hotch took a step back, eyeing her carefully. Yes, he had seen a lot of wife beaters in his day. He could recognize one at a hundred paces, having spent most of his childhood with one. For a split second, his eyes glanced into the dark windows of the lounge. By the light of the TV, he could just make out Meredith and Penny, huddled together on the sofa. How many times had he dragged Shawn out of bed to hide in the closet while their father charged through the house in his drunken state? His mother had taken a lot of the abuse, just to protect them. Today he felt so guilty for not protecting her for so many years, regardless the fact he wouldn't have been strong enough to stop the man. Despite his feelings, he couldn't just stand there and watch another man feel he had the right to treat the mother of his children that way.

"I apologize." He didn't have anything else to say. "Clearly you have everything under control."

"Clearly," She repeated in a hollow voice. "My husband's right, you need to go find my kid."

She was right. This was his job and his sole purpose for being here. Once it was over, they would part ways and she'd be left on her own. Hotch could only hope she would be alright.

At that moment, like a beacon of rescue, JJ appeared around the corner, grateful to have found their boss. "Sir, I need to speak with you. It's important."

"I'll be right there," He said, giving her a nod of recognition. Taking one more glance at Alexa, he said, very solemnly, "I'll let you know if we find something."

That was all he said before he stepped away from her. Alexa immediately felt guilty, having told him off like that. He was just trying to protect her. A lot of people had seen John get forceful and even violent with her, but no one ever stopped him. No one even defended her. Harper, on many occasions, even told her she deserved it and needed to be more careful with him. No one ever stood up for her… before now.

"Mom," Meredith called, opening the door to the lounge. "Is everything okay?"

Alexa turned back to her daughter, thinking about what Hotchner said before. She'd seen her own father hit and abuse her mother… did she really want Meredith and Penny to repeat this cycle?

"They're still looking for Peter." She informed. "Go finish the movie."

She was usually so rebellious, doing the exact opposite of what her mother usually asked, and pressing matters her mother found better left alone. Today, however, she knew to be on her best behavior and did as told, going back inside.

Alexa needed a few minutes alone, anyway. As the door closed, she tried to think about the circumstance she was in. She sat down, needing to breathe for a moment. She just met this man, only three days ago, it didn't make sense to trust him so absolutely. It didn't make sense how complete she felt being in his arms, nor that she felt butterflies hatch whenever she found his eyes. His beautiful eyes, a deep brown like rich dark chocolate. No… it didn't make sense at all.

* * *

><p>"Have I mentioned how much I loathe computers?" Reid asked as he clicked through page after page of photos, all concerning pictures of the victims with their siblings, including the Hillman twins, trying to compare them to the Lovejoys.<p>

"Yeah… once… twice… every single lovin' day." Garcia jabbed at him with a teasing smirk. "What exactly are you looking for?"

He heaved a sigh, "I wish I knew… there's something odd about Lovejoy's choice of victims, they don't connect the way they should."

She needed a break anyway. This search was going nowhere, especially considering the new evidence. There was too many privately owned properties near the Utah border, it was harder to track those down than public areas. A lot harder. Maybe her expertise would better serve Reid. One genius to another.

Wheeling over, Garcia came to sit by Reid, doing his research on one of the station's laptops. It was a lot older than the model she was using, but it would suit his needs for the time being. "What exactly are you looking for? Don't you know all the victims by heart?"

"I know the victims… but I don't know the unsub." Reid explained. With that, his index finger scrolling on the mouse pad, he pulled the picture of the Lovejoy twins to the front of the screen. "It doesn't fit the profile. Lovejoy needs to relive his brother's death, but he should be choosing boys one specific type, his preference for looks is all the over the place… I don't get it."

Garcia looked at a picture of the twins, a few years before the unspeakable happened. They were indeed identical, right down to their cute little outfits. It was so sad to think what happened.

"Sweetie," Garcia said carefully as he stared at the picture. "I understand you're reasoning, but maybe this is just one thing that we're wrong about. I mean, everyone's different. No profile is exact. This could just be who Walter Lovejoy is… why he's killing these boys, I can't say, but I don't think his preference in choosing matters."

"It does matter!" Reid cried, looking over at her. "There is a reason he's picking them this way. It wasn't just something that attracted him, it was everything… he had specific reasons for picking each boy, for picking Peter…" turning back to the screen, he shook his head, "I just can't see what they are."

Knowing better than to argue, Garcia held back. Reid kept his eyes on the Lovejoy twins, searching for something that wasn't there.

The two boys in red t-shirts and jeans, both clutching teddy bears. It was the only thing in the photo that was different. One boy held a blue bear while the other held a green. Maybe that's how the parents could tell them both apart.

"Hmm," Garcia muttered. "If I were to have twins, I think I'd definitely want fraternal. A boy and girl preferably, but both girls or boys wouldn't be bad."

That made him pause for a moment. Thinking, he turned to her, "I didn't realize people had preferences."

"Are you kidding me, everyone's got preferences!" She exclaimed with a smile, reaching for her cup of green tea. "I know you're going through a lot right now, but even with all this uncertainty, don't tell me you haven't been thinking about what little bundle you and Riley want."

Reid gave a small smile. "Actually, we were just talking about that."

"Really?" Garcia squealed, excitedly. Talking about this stuff was so much better than children's murders. "See, it can't be stopped."

"I guess you're right." Reid agreed. "But why would you choose fraternal over identical? Isn't it the same about of difficulty and work, during labor and after?"

"It's still a lot of work, but at least you're not constantly confused about which kid is which." She exclaimed, "I mean, I've heard parents do learn who's who after a while, but I'd probably be an exception. And then when they get older and learn how to play pranks, they're constantly confusing you, just for stitches and giggles."

That was it. Reid sat stunned for a moment, the epiphany hatching in his brain. That was what Reid was missing, why none of this made any sense. Oh, why didn't he see it before? Well, if anyone in the world should recognize it, it was definitely him. He'd had enough experience with it.

"Garcia… what would I do without you?" He said as he basically jumped out of his chair.

"Is that a compliment, Sugar Plum?" She called after him as he as he hurried out of the squad room, off somewhere unknown. He didn't answer, but for now she had more important matters. With a frustrated huff, she climbed back onto her computer, searching for more clues.


	32. The Plan

Reid was happy to find the rest of his team in the same place, down the hall, close to the interrogation room. It appeared Morgan never even got close to start questioning the victim, with Bethany Rochester blocking the way.

"Mrs. Rochester, we are willing to work out a deal." Hotch tried to explain, right on board with JJ's idea. "If you allow us to question your brother and get answers about these kidnappings, we will make sure he's placed in a proper mental facility."

"I don't care what you plan to promise him, he's coming home! Now!" She cried. "My brother is sick, he needs to be at home, that's where he's comfortable. He doesn't understand his basic rights, therefore, the arrest is invalid."

Reid stepped over to a passive Rossi and a very irritated Morgan. "What's going on?"

"Apparently, Mrs. Rochester is well versed on a suspects' rights and won't comply with anything we have to offer." Rossi informed.

"You gotta love that Law and Order." Morgan grumbled. "This is ridiculous, that guy murdered five kids, about to be six. She can't just come in here and stop our investigation. We've got to a get a court order to keep her away and get him medicated so he's lucid."

That seemed the most lawful and direct choice, a certain way to get the answers they needed, but it would take time for both those to go into effect. Time no one had, especially Peter. Reid had a better idea in mind, stepping forward.

"Mrs. Rochester," Reid cried, stepping into the group. She turned to look at him, including the other members of his team, waiting to see where his genius mind was going. "Can we speak in private?"

"Why?" She demanded to know. "What are you, the decoy so your friends can go in there and poke and prod my baby brother like he's some government experiment?"

"I promise," Reid urged. "No one will go into that room without your consent. I just want to talk to you."

Any other member of the team, the others would think it was just a diversion. This, however, was Reid. He was honest, he was caring. He often kept things to himself and omitted parts of the truth, but he rarely lied openly. If he said the others weren't to speak with him, they knew not to try.

Mrs. Rochester, thankfully, could tell he was truthful as well. She seemed reluctant, glancing at her brother in the next room, his head resting directly on the table, his eyes closed like he were trying to imagine himself somewhere else, but nodded and allowed Reid to lead her down the hall to the furthest room, where the others were sure not to hear.

Closing the door, he indicated the table. "Take a seat."

"I'd rather stand," She sternly replied.

Very well, that was her choice. Therefore, Reid stood as well. His hands slipped into his pockets, a little unsure what to do with them right now. He waited a moment, studying her behavior and demeanor, which gave him a better sense of how to approach this. Once he was ready, he cleared his throat, and started to explain.

"Mrs. Rochester… I understand what you're going through." He began. "I know how difficult it is, taking care of your brother. It's a daily struggle… you have to keep him safe and calm, you're always worried one wrong move could set him off. You wake up in the morning and you're almost afraid to get out of bed because you don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what mood he's going to be in… you can't even be sure if you and your family are safe from him. Believe me… I know."

She glanced at him, understanding he wasn't just humoring her. He could fully relate. "Sibling?"

He shook his head. "My mom. And my dad left us when I was ten, so… I was left to look after her until I was eighteen and could put her into a facility."

She let out a sigh of disbelief. She thought she had it hard. "You didn't mention this earlier."

"I didn't feel it was necessary." He explained. Reid decided he needed a seat. He was tired and had been on his feet most of the day, he could use a rest. "But I wanted to tell you now. Out of everyone here, I think I have your brother's best interest… so maybe you can answer a few questions about him."

Bethany Rochester slowly paced the length of the room. She didn't want to look at him, staring at the floor while she mulled all this information in her head. "If you think I'm going to help you convict my brother…"

"My concern is not convicting your brother. I realize he's sick and he needs help." He explained. "We have enough evidence to get warrants and once we have those, we will find everything. I'm sorry, but it's true. Your brother murdered those boys… and I think you know it, too."

At that, she whipped around to him, her eyes wide with fury, ready to kill Dr. Reid herself. "My brother is not a murderer!"

"Are you saying we have the wrong man?" He wondered.

Her hesitation said everything, and at that backed off a bit. "I know he needs help… I want to get it for him, but Wallie is stubborn, I can't get him to take his meds, and I don't have the money to put him in some place like Bennington Sanitarium or the Underhill Home. I should have watched him better, I should have found more help, maybe then this wouldn't have happen, but I know with every part of me that for whatever reason those boys died… I'm sure he's at fault for it, but I don't think he maliciously killed anyone, especially a child."

"That's what we believe as well," Reid explained. "He's doing this to deal with his brother's death… a death that, I think, he blames himself for."

Picking up her pacing again, Mrs. Rochester agreed. "I always thought that, too. He never wanted to talk about it, even with me… even when I tried to explain it was my fault. I guess because he saw it happen, he should have done something to stop it."

"So," he mentioned, "do you believe… he would have done anything to save his brother?"

She glanced at him with suspicion. "Of course… but what could a six year old boy do? He couldn't even swim, it's a wonder Walter survived."

He was taking a big risk. After all, Reid had no proof… but it was a lot more than a hunch. It was basic human behavior, something he was rather familiar with. "I don't think he did."

It took a moment for Mrs. Rochester to register that comment. Thoroughly surprised, she looked to Reid, "What do you mean? He… died inside when he watched his brother die?"

"No," Reid shook his head. "Let me ask you a question… you could tell your brother's apart, correct?"

"Well, of course." As she said that, Mrs. Rochester finally decided to sit down, across from the intelligent agent. For the first time since he saw her, she gave him a smile. "They really were cute, they were always pulling tricks on the servants with their identity. Switching names, confusing the new nannies, it was really funny. But I was practically their mother, they could never pull a fast one on me… I knew them better than anyone."

"So who was it that found your brother's body that day at the lake?" He questioned.

"Uh… one of my aunts, I think. I'm not really certain, it was a long time ago… and I really blocked a lot of that out." She tried to explain.

Reid replied, "Understandable. But I need you to think really hard… try to remember… did you ever see the body of your little brother?"

She answered immediately, "No… I couldn't even bear to look at him at his funeral, even when I put Wallie's teddy bear in there. I closed my eyes."

"Wallie's?" He needed to be sure. It was a definite clue.

"He said Willie would rather sleep with that one. It was green… his favorite color." She explained. "Willie liked blue though, and Wallie kept his brother's after he died. I guess a way to always keep him close"

"I don't think so," Reid tried to explain, and with that leaned forward. "I need you think. I know it's difficult, I know it was a long time ago, but… just try. When you first saw your living brother after he was found… was there anything strange about him… something that didn't seem right?"

That was much too odd. What kind of a question was that? "Of course he wasn't right, he just watched his twin brother right."

"Not to everyone, to just you." Reid pointed out. "Did he seem… different? Not like himself… he's probably been like that ever since."

He could see her mind working that out, and could tell, but her darting eyes and facial expression, that he was right on the money. It had nothing to do with a traumatic event… it was like her brother was a completely different person.

"I don't understand, why would this be of any interest to you?" She wondered.

He lead her in far enough, it was time to get to the point. "I believe your brother is suffering from a type of Dissociative Personality Disorder."

She paused a moment, stunned, "You mean… like a split personality?"

"Not exactly," Reid clarified. "It's related, but it's a bit more simple than that. Dissociative Personality is when a person's original personality is completely overtaken by a new one. There's not a lot on the subject, most psychiatrists don't even know about it, even less consider it a legitimate diagnosis yet, but I believe this might be your brother's case."

She thought for a moment. "Are you a shrink or something?"

"I do have a PhD in psychology." He explained. "Also, my wife's a psychiatrist, we both keep pretty up to date on the latest theories and discoveries. There's an extensive list of subdivisions to every mental disorder-" He stopped short, realizing he was rambling. Reid got back on the subject. "The point I'm trying to make is I believe your brother lost his identity when his twin died, due to the fact that another took its place. If your brother felt so guilty for his twin dying… he would have done anything to save him. Including sacrificing himself."

"But he couldn't have done that," She indicated, "even if he knew it was an option."

He disagreed. "I believe he did do it. He hid on the island because he was waiting for his brother, and since he never came, his brain decided to let his brother live by giving him his life. He took on his brother's identity from that point forward."

"Come on," She argued, believing this man was just trying to manipulate her. "No one would believe that."

"You said yourself, you were the only one who could tell the two apart." Reid insisted. "You never saw the body. If they found your brother on the island and he told them he was Wallie… they would believe him. Everyone would, even you."

She was stunned… come to think of it, she hadn't even been sure which brother was dead before Wallie was found. She was so upset, though, she never thought to ask. After all this time, the story had morphed so it seemed she knew all along. "So you're saying… Wallie… is actually Willie? All this time, the brother I thought was dead is alive and the brother I thought was alive…"

She couldn't even bring herself to finish. "That's why your brother wanted Wallie's bear put in the coffin. It belonged to him, but his essence lived on. The problem is… I don't think he can't take it anymore."

Mrs. Rochester was thoroughly interested now. She was just a few comforting words away from complying to questioning. "What do you mean?"

"He's been living with this façade for a long time. He's getting older now and his mind is starting to mature… like when a child doesn't want to play pretend anymore. They just realize the game is too childish for them. It happens at different ages, sometimes much later than normal, but I think it's finally happening to him. If he said he's trying to save his brother… he's trying to find a boy approximately the same age to make him relive his version of the event. If the boy survives, my theory is he'll be convinced it's his twin brother, finally making it home. And then he'll be free."

"So every time he dies, he realizes he chose wrong." She finished. "Oh, Wallie… Willie… oh, God, now I'm confused."

"The most important point is there's still a little boy out there your brother is keeping hostage." Reid explained. "You must understand now how important it is to speak with him. I promise you, he will be handled with the utmost respect. He needs medical help, I know that and so does my team, we will put him in a place that will give him that, and he can spend the rest of his life there… but without him, we might never save this last victim. We have a chance to save him, please… help us. Let us talk to him, maybe help us work with him to get some answers."

For a long time, she considered this. It wasn't much of an offer, but she had a feeling she wouldn't get a better one. Her brother was responsible for the deaths of children, he could get the death penalty if he was forced to stand a real trial. At least this way, she could still take care of him. It would be the best choice for her whole family.

"Alright," She agreed. "I accept your proposition, provided you do hold up your end of the deal. What are going to ask him?"

Reid stood and started to head to the door, ready to lead them both out. "Ultimately, we need to know his side of the story, his reasoning for killing the boys, and see if my theory is correct. We have plenty of time for that, right now our sole purpose is finding his victim. We believe it might be very close if not at the place your brother died. We're having trouble finding it on our own."

Reid headed for the door, but Mrs. Rochester called out, confused. "There's no way Wallie took his victims there or even close to it."

His hand on the doorknob, he turned around, "If that's where he suffered this trauma, he's emotionally attached-"

"No, you don't understand!" She cried, standing up now. "We lived in North Carolina before my brother died. After the accident, we moved to Vegas. That vacation home is on the East Coast… there's no place like it around here, that's why my parents chose this city."

So that explained why they couldn't find any public information on the death of the boy. If Garcia kept her searches localized to the Vegas area, there wouldn't be any information. This wasn't really good news, though. He had hoped, by finding the place of his twin's death, they might find somewhere close by that would suit Lovejoy's needs, or even just somewhere similar. If it was that far away, it would be harder to find something related to it. That gave them even less to go on.

"If that's the case, then it's really up to your brother now." Reid said, taking his hand from the knob. "Do you think he might tell you the truth?"

"I doubt it." She shook her head. "Unless you've got some prepubescent agent on your team, I doubt anyone in this building will get him to open up."

That gave him an idea. "He speaks better with children?"

"Yes, I believe that's what I meant." She answered.

At that, Reid had an idea. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try. How many times in his career did a long shot save his life? "Alright, then, thank you." He said, opening the door, holding it for her.

They headed back down the hall, his whole team minus Garcia waiting there. Just as they vowed, not one of them bothering Lovejoy. As Reid walked over, they saw Mrs. Rochester go to the window, staring at her poor, confused, mindless little brother.

"So?" JJ wondered, anxious. "What's the verdict? Are we allowed to speak with him?"

Reid gave a nod, "However, I think it's best we don't."

Bewildered, they stared at Reid in shock. "What was the point of spending ten minutes in there if we're not going to get answers out of him?" Emily demanded. "We might as well have just let him go, Reid."

"I mean, we as the team shouldn't go in and interrogate him." Reid explained. "Lovejoy is mentally disturbed as we know, he relates better to children… so why don't we have a child talk to him?"

Hotch did not like that idea in the least. "That's too risky, Reid. Working with children is delicate, we can't tell them the same things we discuss with adults. It upsets them, it traumatizes them."

"Exactly, we need to treat him like a child. And if we bring another one in there, it will take the pressure off." He explained. He was obviously excited about this idea, relieved they were close to getting answers, after all this time. "I'll bring the child in, help them both talk and relate to each other, like a play date… and then I start asking Lovejoy questions like I would with a child victim. I know it's unorthodox, but I can't imagine another plan that will remotely work. We need answers now, Hotch."

Rossi was impressed, it was unusual, but it was a valid strategy. "It's not a bad idea." He said, turning to Hotch.

"Who are thinking of using?" Hotch had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"Penny Hillman," Reid responded. "She's Peter's twin, she might be the best to convince him that the delusion is wrong. Once he realizes that, it'll break him."

"I don't know," Hotch shook his head. "It goes against our standards, we don't put civilians in harm's way."

"I'll be in there the whole time." Reid was practically begging to do this. "The rest of you will be out here, if there's danger we can get her out quickly. I don't think we have a better option without waiting a few days for results."

Morgan spoke up, "I think I got to agree with the kid on this. From what we know of this guy, he won't hurt kids… and if he gets out of hand, Prentiss and Rossi and I will be right here. I'd say it would be stupid not to at least try it."

It took another few moments, but at last Hotch nodded. "Alright, but you have to inform both her parents first. They need to be aware of all the risks and be in full agreement… and they're both allowed to watch through the window."

Reid didn't like the idea of having to ask for John's permission. He might not give in, just for the sake of denying Reid, even if it meant his son would die. Still, though, Hotch wouldn't give in without this agreement. "Understood, sir."

"Alright, Prentiss, you go with Reid to speak to the Hillmans. Rossi and Morgan will stay here and watch Lovejoy. JJ and I will work on speaking with police in Utah, see how much help they'll be at determining a location. Night isn't far away, if this boy is alive, I don't want him spending another night away from home."

Not one of them could have agreed more. As Hotch and JJ stepped off, Reid turned to the rest of the group. "I'm going to need someone to find crayons and some extra blank paper."

"I can do that." Rossi offered. "How are you going to convince the Hillmans to let you do this?"

The only thing he could do. He couldn't manipulate the Hillmans, even if he wanted to. He knew them too well. It had been horrible, yes, but they played a very big part in his life. It would be like trying to lie to Riley, it just wouldn't work. The only thing to do was tell the truth and help them to understand that if they didn't do this, they would never see their son again.


	33. Cabin by the Lake

A/N: I'm so sorry posting has been kind of slow. I just started a new job (I'm now a part of the Wal-Mart family) and finding energy to write this week has been difficult. Once my training's complete, things should get back to normal.

* * *

><p>Alexa was still sitting in the same place when John found her again. He still looked pretty angry with her, but it was hard to tell these days. Every time he looked at her, he seemed angry.<p>

"I take it your little boyfriend finally went off to do his job?" He said as he walked over.

Her stomach filled with dread as he approached her. It suddenly dawned on her how long she'd experienced this sensation. It dated right back to high school. Not every time she saw him, but often, especially when she knew he was mad. "Get over yourself," she said, standing up again. "I'm upset about Peter, he was just comforting me."

"When are you going to realize they are wasting our time?" He asked, stepping closer to her. "You're so stupid, you can't see it. They can't find Peter so they're putting on this show to pretend like they're looking for him. It's all because of that damn little pantywaist momma's boy, this is his revenge. He's getting your hopes up just so he can crush them later."

"Spencer would never do that!" She cried, wishing he'd understand. Someone didn't work this hard and pretend to forgive someone just to get under their skin. "He wanted to turn me away in the first place, if this was just about revenge, he wouldn't have taken the case at all."

"It amazes me how stupid you really are!" He screamed, getting much too close to her. "What is it with you; our family is already in shambles because of you! If you'd been watching our son better, he never would have run away. It's bad enough you probably broke up my sister's marriage – oh, by the way, they're not talking if you didn't know because you had to open your fat mouth – but now you want to keep putting us through this? You go in there and tell them enough is enough. We are going home and getting on with our lives."

Alexa froze at that, wanting to tell him off, like she had earlier that day. Her confidence was shattered, however, and she knew she'd probably never get it back. Maybe he was right… maybe it was stupid to have come to Spencer for help. Her son was gone and never coming back. It was time to give up.

"Oh, good," Reid said as he hurried over, Emily right at his heels. She'd abandoned the sling for her shoulder, not caring anymore if her injury acted up. It was just getting in the way. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see you both together, but this is a desperate time."

Terrified, Alexa turned to Reid with glistening eyes. John looked at him as well, wanting to strangle the young man. Although, he knew now that, despite how he looked, the weakling he once knew was gone. He'd already proven that.

"What is it, Spencer?" She asked. "Did you find Peter?"

"Not yet," He explained. "I need your help with something."

"Forget it!" John cried. "We are done. This song and dance investigation has gotten us nowhere. You want to keep this up, fine, but you're doing it without our help."

Reid was not to give up on this, not when they were this close and not when they still had a shred of hope that little boy was alive. Mustering himself up, he turned to the beastly man, speaking as clearly as possible so as not to start a disagreement.

"Look John," He began, "It's no secret you and I don't like each other. I know why you never liked me, I know why you treated me like you did, and yet I'm still here. I'm going to find your son with or without your help… but without, I can guarantee you when I do find him… you'll be burying him. So, I am asking for all of us to put our differences aside for ten minutes and work together to bring Peter home."

Emily had to admit, for all the years she'd known him, Reid never ceased to amaze her. Even now, face to face with demons from his past, he was able to push them aside to do what was right. How many people really could do that?

"What do want?" John reluctantly griped, glancing between them.

"We have our suspect in custody, as I'm sure you've heard." Emily explained. "He's mentally unstable, but we have an idea how to go about questioning him. That's where we need your help."

"You want one of us to talk to him?" Alexa suggested, a bit apprehensive, but eager at the same time.

Reid hesitated, taking a quick glance at Emily. "Actually… we'd like Penny to speak with him."

After a stunned silence as both parents gaped at him, Alexa said in a hushed tone, "Absolutely not."

"Alexa," Reid urged. "I understand you're afraid, you're trying to protect your remaining children, but we think this is the best course of action. This man relates best with children because, in his mind, he's a lot like a child himself. Also, our theory is this man believes Peter is his late twin brother. I think bringing in Peter's actual twin might be able to convince him he's wrong, and then he'll be more likely to open up about his location."

He could see a shift in Alexa's eyes. While she still worried for her daughter, she wanted to trust Reid. John, however, stood his ground.

"Bull," He cried. "This is just some plan to hurt my kid to get back at us."

"If that's what you believe, you obviously don't know Dr. Reid at all." Emily argued.

Reid shook his head, she didn't need to defend him. "Em-"

"No!" She cried. "Mr. Hillman, why can't you just accept that we're trying to help you? Spencer is trying to save your son. This entire time you and your friends have done nothing but humiliate him, yet he remained here, looking for Peter."

"That's exactly what I mean, Doll Face." He said, looking over at Prentiss. Her eyes blazed in fury at such a demeaning nickname. "Either he likes letting people walk all over him or he's plotting something. I'll be damned if I let him do something to my other kids. Give me one good reason why I should trust him?"

"Because I'm the person that's going to bring your son home." Reid argued. "We're not going to lie. Being mentally unstable, there is a chance he could get violent, but I'll be in there with her. I will do whatever it takes to protect her. Agents Prentiss and Rossi will be outside the window, ready to come in if there's a conflict and you're welcome to witness the entire interview. I truly believe this is our best hope."

They were so close to locating her son, they couldn't stop now. "I think we should do it, John." Alexa begged, turning to him. He gave her an angry expression, about to say no. "Please… we'll be right there, and I know Spencer would never put our girls in harm's way. If it doesn't work… at least we can say we tried everything to save our son."

John knew he was outnumbered. That rarely stopped him from getting his way, but today he knew no arguing or tantrum would help him. Letting out a groan, he answered, "Alright… but she better come out of there without a scratch on her… or I will make you pay."

It was clear that John was not an ideal father. He was self-centered and shallow, spending more time fueling his desires than taking care of his family. However, it was obvious he cared about his children, even if he couldn't show it.

"I promise, she'll be alright." Reid assured.

"Should we bring her in now?" Alexa wondered.

"Actually," He said, "Now that we have your permission, I'd like to ask for hers. Can I speak to her?"

Nodding, "She's right through here." Alexa indicated the door to the lounge leading them over. Reid and Emily followed, moving past John without a second look. He stared after them, feeling like he wasn't even a part of this anymore.

* * *

><p>Morgan and Rossi were still waiting twenty minutes later with Mrs. Rochester. As requested, Rossi had found a box of crayons and some old police reports. The backs were blank; perfect for coloring. Morgan leaned against the wall, feeling like he should be doing more with this, while at the same time wishing he could just collapse in bed. Putting on a brave face was so hard when he felt this horrible.<p>

At last, they heard people approaching around the corner down the hall. Emily and Reid had returned, with the remaining members of the Hillman family following him. Reid was carrying little Penny Hillman in his arms, talking to her with such ease. Morgan had to admit, he was proud of his friend. There was a time when it seemed a force field surrounding him. Children wouldn't come near him, same with pets. Now they seemed to flock to him, and Reid was an absolute natural. The kid was going to make such a great father.

"What if I don't do it right?" Penny whined. She was obviously scared, her little hand clutching Reid's cardigan as they approached the others.

"You're going to do just fine, Penny." Reid promised, bouncing her lightly in his arms. "You just have to be nice to him, try and be his friend. I'll handle the rest."

Alexa was nervous as they made it to the window. She was finally going to get her first look at the man. The person who destroyed her family and took her son away. Reid brought Penny up first to show her, letting her get comfortable before bringing her in there.

"See?" Reid said, pointing at Lovejoy through the glass. "He doesn't look so scary. He's just really sad and really afraid. You just need to talk to him for a little bit, and then you can go back to your mommy."

Penny's breathing had suddenly become fast and labored, terrified as she saw the man. "No," She whined, shaking her head, burying her face in Reid's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Penny?" Emily exclaimed kindly, patting her arm.

The poor little thing was shaking like a leaf now. "That's him," she moaned in her sobs. "That's the monster, he took away Peter! He'll take me away, too! I don't want to go!"

"She doesn't want to do it." John said, stepping forward. "It's over, put her down."

Reid wouldn't listen. Not yet. "Hey," he said, jostling her a bit so she would sit up to look at him. "Remember what I told you yesterday? About monsters? They're scared of me. If he's really a monster, he won't do anything, I promise. Not with me by your side. You trust me, don't you?"

She was still upset, about to say no when Meredith stepped forward. "Come on, Penny. You're a big girl now, you can do this. I know you can."

Though it was obvious she didn't want to, but glancing at her big sister, Penny couldn't say no. "Okay," she sniffled.

"Good," Reid smiled. "Meredith's right, you're going to do great."

Rossi handed him the supplies. "We'll be right here if you need anything."

He understood, taking the items in one hand and balancing with his other arm. Emily hurried over to open the door for them. She gave the little girl a confident smile as she led them both in, closing the door behind them.

Alexa stepped up to the window, looking over the unsub in disgust. "So that's the bastard that took my baby."

"He's not a bastard!" Mrs. Rochester cried. "Don't you dare talk about my brother like that!"

"Your brother killed a lot of innocent kids." John added, stepping forward like he was about to hit. "How can you stand there and defend him?"

"Alright!" Morgan cried, stepping to put himself between the group. It was like a rumble was about to break out. "If you all can't be civil, I'll force you to leave. So just shut up and let Dr. Reid do his job."

They knew better than to argue. Morgan was an intimidating looking man, often getting his way upon a first request with nothing but a solid tone and dark, cold eyes. None of them knew his strength had basically plummeted, hardly keeping him upright at the moment.

The whole group fell silent, watching the scene inside. Never before could any of the three agents recall such a diverse group standing before an interrogation.

Once they were safe inside, Reid brought Penny over to the table. "Hi," Reid said with a smile. "You must be Wallie. My name's Spencer, and this is my friend, Penny."

Penny didn't say anything. She seemed to shrink back in Dr. Reid's arms, wanting him to protect her. He squeezed her tight, letting her know he was right here and would keep her safe, no matter what. Lovejoy stared at the little girl for a long time, with an almost frightened expression. He must have recognized her.

"Hi," He finally uttered, shrinking back in his seat.

Reid set Penny in a chair on one side of the table, right beside the unsub. It was a bit unsettling, he never willingly put an such an innocent soul so close to a killer. He set the paper and crayons down before them, claiming the seat beside the little girl, keeping her between them. He knew, outside, Alexa must be twisted in knots, seeing her daughter so close to the man who took her son, but it was the best way to get results.

"Wallie, Penny and I were going to color and draw some pictures. Would like to join us?" He asked.

At that, he seemed to perk up. Without a word, he nodded; seeming almost excited to get to do something fun. Probably so often he was forced to behave like an adult, it was nice to have an excuse to be like a kid, which was basically where his mind was set at.

"Great," he said, giving a piece of paper to both him and the girl. He set one in front of himself and reached for the crayons, easily opening the lid and pouring each item into his hand. He laid them on the table, easy reach for each person. "Wallie, why don't you choose a color first?"

He excitedly reached for a green, immediately going to his blank page and scribbling along the bottom. The color smoothed out easily, swirling and smearing along the white, already creating something beautiful.

After Penny chose a yellow, Reid picked up a black one and absentmindedly scribbled on the page. He thought for a moment how best to begin this, so neither of them would get upset.

"Could I have a blue?" Wallie asked as he looked up.

"Sure," Reid said, handing him a blue one. "That's very nice, what are you drawing, Wallie?"

"The park on a nice day." He informed, starting to color in the top, apparently the sky.

To Reid's amazement, Penny looked up to see his picture. "Here," She said, offering him the yellow. "You need a sun if it's a nice day."

He looked at her, amazed for a moment and then gave a smile, accepting the color. "Thanks."

She smiled, too. Maybe this guy wasn't a real monster.

"I bet you spend a lot of time in the park, don't you, Wallie?" Reid wondered, grabbing a purple crayon to add some different color to his abstract picture. He barely made sense of what he was coloring.

Wallie nodded, swirling the yellow into a circle among the blue. The two waxes were blending on the page, making a kind of green sun in the sky.

"I saw you in the park." Penny said, looking up. She had taken the green, clutching it in her little fingers. "You told us you liked to play on the swings the best."

Looking up again, Wallie met her green eyes. "Yeah… they're fun, especially when you go really high."

"Yeah, that is fun." She agreed, going back to her picture.

"Penny," Reid asked. "What about your brother? Does he like the swings at the park?"

"Uh, huh." She answered, unaware of where he was going with this. "They're his favorite. Meredith even taught us how to pump and he can swing really, really high."

Wallie looked up, much more relaxed with these people now. "My brother really likes the swings, too. But he can't go as high as me."

Reid stopped his coloring, looking over at the suspect. So far, he at least seemed to be establishing trust. Pushing just a little further might get him to reveal something.

"So where's your brother now, Wallie?" Reid wondered.

There was a pause before he replied. "He'll be home soon."

"Oh," Reid muttered. "He's been gone for an awfully long time, huh?"

"Yeah," He answered. The way his shoulders hunched over the table, it was obvious he didn't really want to talk about this. "But he'll come home… I know he will."

He thought about bringing up the other boys, but knew that could cause Wallie to get upset. He didn't want to put Penny in danger. "Now, I heard your brother isn't just any brother… he's your twin, right?"

"Yep," he nodded. His eyes remained on his picture, hoping they would change the subject soon.

"Wow, that's so cool." Reid said. "Penny's brother is her twin, too, did you know."

He was wary as he looked up again, but meeting Penny's gentle, innocent gaze was nothing to be alarmed about. "That's really cool. Where is he?"

Sadly, Penny replied, "He disappeared."

He was surprised for a moment, but after a moment replied. "Yeah… my brother went away for a very long time, too. But he's going to come back now."

"What happened to your brother, Wallie?" Reid questioned.

At that, he wouldn't answer. Instead, he stared down at his drawing, furiously coloring with the red crayon he'd chosen. It was messing up his picture, but the question had rattled him so.

"Wallie?" Reid questioned. "Did your brother die?"

"No!" He cried, looking up. "My brother is fine. He's going to come home, I know it!"

He wouldn't say his name, just kept referring to him as his brother. "He's not coming home."

"Yes, he is!" He screamed, and Penny was starting to get scared, watching him in fear. "He'll come home this time, I know it! He's brave, braver than me… he was supposed to make it across, not… not me… this time, I'm making it right. I found him and now he can come home!"

Reid knew this could set him off. He was fully prepared to pull Penny out of the way if he started to get violent. The others wouldn't take more than a second to get in here. He had to take this chance.

"You know that's not true," Reid called sternly. "Willie."

Suddenly, he stopped. He sat up, looking at Reid in shock. He was amazed this man had learned his secret.

"You're Willie, aren't you?" Reid asked. "Wallie was the one who drowned that day, wasn't he?"

While he was upset, he luckily remained calm. He shook his head. "I'm sorry… I should have told someone… but now I'm going to make it right! No one has to know and Wallie can come home!"

"No, he can't." Reid said gently. "I am so sorry, Willie… your brother died twenty years ago. When someone dies, no one can bring them back. It wasn't your fault, it was just an accident, but you have to accept it. He's gone."

"No, he's not!" Wallie cried. He looked to Penny, believing she'd be able to understand. "He's going to come back this time. I found him, I saved him!"

"No," Reid shook his head. "Willie, you need to understand. Your brother is gone and that little boy… the one you found… his name is Peter. He's Penny's twin brother, not yours."

That couldn't be true. Shaking his head, he covered his eyes with his hands. "No… he's my brother… he's going to come home!"

"He's my brother!" Penny cried before Reid could say anything. "His name is Peter and you took him away! Why did you take him?"

The poor thing had started crying and Reid reached to put his arm around her. Her cries, however, seemed to trigger something in the man. Looking up, he saw the little girl crying for her brother… just like he used to. Reid watched with batted breath as his eyes seemed to come into focus… just like his mother's always did when she went back on her meds after so long.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled. Finally, he was realizing what he'd done was wrong. "I didn't mean to… I… I just wanted to help my brother."

"Willie, your brother is gone now, nothing can bring him back." Reid explained. "But, Penny…" He looked down at the little girl, her lip twitching and pouting as tears were pouring out of her eyes. "Penny is about to lose her twin, just like you did, but there's still time to save him… you don't want her to go through the same pain, do you? You could help her. You could tell us where Peter is so we can bring him home. Please, will you tell us?"

For a moment, Reid thought everything was about to work out. That they succeeded and Lovejoy would tell them where Peter Hillman was hidden, desperate to get home.

His hopes faded, however, as he shook his head. "I don't know where he is."

No, that couldn't be true. He was rather delusional, but Reid never suspected he blacked out when he took the kids… although that was possible.

"You must have some idea." Reid urged. "Think, Willie… where did you go? Did you stop anywhere, even if it was just to go to the bathroom?"

He thought for a long time, but he shook his head. Reid sighed with defeat. They just needed one clue; he had to have one clue.

"Are you sure?" Reid wondered. "There's not one detail? One little you can tell us about where Peter might be?"

Minutes ticked by, but said nothing. For a moment, Reid thought he went into a catatonic state, but finally, he lowered his head, mumbling one word, barely audible. "Rivermelle."

"Rivermelle?" Reid repeated, confused. "What is that? A place? A river? Can you tell me what that is?"

"I want my sister," He cried. Lovejoy had had enough, and he seemed on the verge of a break. "I want my sister! Now! I want to see her!"

As he screamed, the door burst open and the others started filing in. Bethany Rochester, first in the door, ran to her brother, letting him fall into her arms. Reid knew they were finished.

"Mommy!" Penny cried as she spotted Alexa. She hurried over and grabbed her daughter, hugging her close as she picked her up, carrying her out of the room.

As Mrs. Rochester comforted their suspect, the others filed out, closing the door. That was it. They had one minor clue that didn't sound like anything that would help. If Garcia hadn't found anything about Rivermelle now, it couldn't be a location close by.

As they stepped out, Penny looked to Reid. "Did I do alright?"

Reid forced a smile, brushing her little face gently. "Penny, you did perfect, I'm so proud of you."

"Are you going to find Peter now?" She asked.

Reid caught Alexa's pleading eyes, knowing exactly what he was truly thinking. There wasn't much hope left. "We're definitely going to try."

She grinned excitedly, so desperate to see her brother again. "Come on, guys, we'd better go."

Cradling her little girl, Alexa put her hand around Meredith and led both girls away. John eyed Reid with loathing for a moment, fully aware they didn't have anything to go on, before following his girls down the hall.

"Now what do we do?" Morgan wondered, looking at the others.

"Well, it might not be much, but it's something to go on." Rossi said. "Let's give this Rivermelle to Garcia, see if it turns up anything. For now, we'll call in for Lovejoy to be put on medication, maybe in 24 hours; he'll be lucid enough to give us more information."

Sure, in 24 hours they could have the full truth, but what good would it do? If Peter wasn't dead already, he wasn't going to survive another day, and that was assuming they could find the location by tomorrow. All hope was gone.

Solemnly, they headed down the hall. They were all so disappointed. They had been so close, now it was too late.

Just before they reached the corner, the door to the interrogation room opened and Bethany Rochester called, "Agents!"

All four stopped, turning back to her, curious. She rushed down to them, anxiously saying, "I'm sorry, I should have said something a moment ago, but… my concern was comforting my brother."

"What is it?" Emily questioned.

"I know where that little boy is." She explained urgently.

They were all stunned, but were desperately interested. "You know where Rivermelle is?" Rossi questioned.

Mrs. Rochester shook her head. "It's not a place, he's a person. Joseph Rivermelle, he was our next door neighbor a long time ago, but he died. Joseph and my husband were pretty good friends. He owned a cabin by the lake in Utah. He would take Gregory up there a few times in the summer. When Joseph died, he willed it to my husband, but he was in Iraq at the time. Gregory never got to use it."

"Have you ever been there?" Asked Emily.

She shook her head, "But he did take Wallie up there. Just once. He didn't like it very much, so he never went again… I can't imagine why he would go there now, or how he even remembers how to get there."

Reid suddenly remembered talking with Alexa earlier about Automatic Writing. The concept of it was a lot more common than believed. People did things all the time that they didn't even notice, their mind on other matter. Driving was one of them.

"If the cabin and the lake had a similar atmosphere to the summer home, he might have been attracted to it." Reid stated. "His subconscious could have driven him and the victim up there… without realizing.

"That has to be the place." Morgan announced. "We've got to get up there."

"You three get out on the road. Hotch and I will be right behind you." Rossi ordered. "I'll tell Garcia to track down Joseph Rivermelle and find his cabin; she'll send you the directions."

They didn't have any time to waste. The three forgot everything except the matter at hand, pumping with adrenaline. Hopefully the cabin wasn't too far away… and Peter would be there, waiting to be rescued.


	34. Brave

There weren't many large bodies of water in Utah, and many were only open to the public in summer. First thing was getting to Utah as soon as possible. The drive itself was over an hour. Hopefully when they got there, they'd have more information of where to go.

Normally Morgan drove, but Emily suggested she'd take the wheel today. The fact that Morgan didn't protest just showed how low he was feeling. It was a crisis they couldn't deal with right now, though, not unless they could swing by a local hospital, shove him out and keep driving. But even then, she doubted he would go in and get some help. He was too damn stubborn.

Hotch called them after they'd been on the road for twenty minutes. He and Rossi were following them, but there was no word yet on exactly where they were heading. Even at this distance, the sirens were blaring, allowing both SUVs to head down the highway like their feet were made of lead. A few members of the Nevada police had joined their procession. Plus the Utah police were on alert, awaiting their arrival. Now they just needed to know where to go.

"I never should have said anything." Reid muttered despondently. Despite everything, however close they were to finding him, he couldn't shake the fear it was already too late. If the boy was there, there was little hope he'd survived this long all alone. "Alexa's back there, just praying that we bring back her son… I never should have told her he might still be alive."

Emily glanced at him, unable to help the bemused expression on her face. "Sounds like you kind of care about her a little bit."

He shrugged. "I guess I misjudged her at first. You never really know a person until you get to know them."

"I wouldn't worry, kid." Morgan said, leaning forward a bit. "I hope as well as all of us that you're right, and that boy has beaten all the odds and survived the last two months… but if not, we still brought justice to this family, as well as the five others who lost their sons. And you did exactly what Alexa wanted. One way or another, you're going to bring her son home."

"Yeah," Reid rasped, "but it would be nice… if just once, we could save one."

None of them could agree more.

Just after they crossed the Utah state border from Arizona, Morgan's cell rang. He answered it, immediately putting it on speaker phone.

"Baby Girl, tell me you've got good news." He cried.

"Well, getting a phone call from me should be good enough," She said with a delightful giggle in her voice, a sign she finally had success, "but if it's your location you're interested in, I've definitely got something juicy for you."

"Where is it, Garcia?" Reid cried, turning around to look at the phone, as if speaking directly to her.

"It's about forty minutes from the Utah state lines on I-15. Exit 41, directing you to Lake Lasotta's North shore. The cabin doesn't have an exact address, but I alerted the park rangers. They said there's an abandoned property ten miles in on the north shore, overlooking the water."

"That's it!" Reid exclaimed.

"I've already sent the coordinates to your phone's GPS." She cried. "Anything else I can do my angels?"

"I think we're covered for now. Thanks, Garcia, I don't know what we'd do without you." Emily called as she took Reid's phone, where he'd already pulled up the coordinates.

"Let's hope you never have to find out." She called. "Although, I should warn you guys. Alexa Hillman started asking questions about what we're up to. JJ had to inform her we had a location and she demanded the police take let her come along."

"Perfect," Morgan groaned. The last thing they needed was a parent coming in and ripping up the crime scene in search of her son. "Thanks for the warning, Sweet Thing."

"Bye, bye Butterflies." She called in response, and after that the line went dead.

"Okay," Morgan said, putting his phone away. "We know where, we just got to get there. Pick up the pace a little bit, Princess."

She couldn't help but chuckle. "Sounds like somebody's feeling better."

Catching his eye in the rearview mirror, she saw him give a satisfied smile. Automatically she knew he was lying. She always knew how to read her partner, and while he smiled, his eyes were foggy and cold. It took a lot to force her worries deep down and continue on their way to the cabin.

* * *

><p>At long last, after an almost two hour journey, the first SUV pulled up to an abandoned building deep in the middle of the woods. Just as Garcia had informed, it have a beautiful view overlooking the water. The sun had almost set, the last of the daylight quickly fading away.<p>

Everyone pulled out flashlights and their guns. True, while Lovejoy was most likely working alone, there was no sign there wasn't another suspect in there. Or a dodger or drifter or homeless man. They had to be prepared and needed to head in armed.

The front door was hanging on by half a hinge. One kick from Morgan, even with his depleted strength, sent the structure across the dark room. A cloud of dust puffed up from the fall, floating around the beams of their lights. The house looked in poor repair, no doubt left from years of neglect. Even when the old man was alive, this place was in dire need of renovation, the last few years just added to the problem.

They heard the sound of sirens in the distance. The others were close by. For now, the job of clearing the cabin was on these three. Stomping into the dark, dirty building, they searched through each of the rooms, checking for any signs of life.

"Kitchen's clear," Morgan called. "Except for a few rats."

"Living room's clear." Emily cried.

They stepped up the steps that were replicas of halved logs, up to the second floor. The top step was a big creaky, squeaking as each person clamored on it to get to the top.

"Clear," Reid called from one of the bedrooms. The furniture in here wasn't too poor, but the bed was sagging a bit. It looked like it would support a man of Reid's size… or a young adult male. This must have been where Lovejoy slept when checking on his victims. But what about Peter?

"It's empty, Reid," Emily said as she and Morgan joined him in the bedroom. "The place has running water and there's food rations over there. Along with a hot plate and a mini fridge. He was spending most of his time on the second level, but… there's no sign another person was living here. Even a child."

Reid hung his head, letting out a heavy sigh. He was certain he'd be here. Where the hell was he? Lovejoy couldn't have dumped the body, he would have said so. And even if he hadn't, he always dropped his victims in highly frequent areas. Someone would have found it by now.

"You don't think Rochester played us, do you?" Morgan suggested, looking around the room. Reid slowly walked over to the window, staring out through the dirty glass. It was hard to see the lake through the mess, but he could make out a picture. The golden sunset was faded over the horizon, right on the opposite shore of the edge of the lake.

"She couldn't have." Emily pointed out. "Lovejoy mentioned Rivermelle to Reid when he was alone, if she were leading us off the trail, she wouldn't have led us right to man who owns this cabin."

"Then where's the kid?" Morgan demanded to know.

It took a moment to focus; after all, the light was failing. As his eyes adjusted however, Reid felt his jaw drop, staring straight ahead in the distance on the lake.

"There," Reid cried, pointing out the window, pressing against the glass. The tip of his finger smudged through the dirt. "That's it, that's where Peter is."

Emily and Morgan rushed over to see for themselves. By the last of the setting sun, they could make out the form of land in the middle of the manmade lake.

"An island?" Emily mentioned. "You really think the unsub stashed Peter there?"

"He had to!" Reid cried, turning around to the others. "His sister said the day her brother died, she and her friends swam to the island in the middle of the lake. Lovejoy saw this one and got emotionally attached, that's why his mind forced him to come here. He must have put Peter out there and told him if he wanted to come home, he had to swim back across. He's over there, I know it!"

There was no doubt he was right, and now wasn't the time to lose. "Let's call Search and Rescue, tell them we need a boat. Hopefully, that boy's still out there."

The three hurried out of the room and back out of the house. Reid was so anxious, he felt like he could swim across that lake himself. If they didn't get help soon, he thought he just might.

* * *

><p>There was a full moon above and the sky was full of stars. A perfectly clear night. The air was chilly here, since they were further up in the mountains, and the air from the lake made it feel damp. Everyone waited at the cabin for an hour before Search and Rescue finally arrived, towing a motorboat along.<p>

It took even longer to get it set up in the water. Reid couldn't help but think how scared that little boy must be, lost in the dark, about to spend another night alone. He wished he could tell him help was on the way, that he just had to hang on a little longer. How unfair it would be if they lost him just moments away from being rescued.

The boat was small and could only take four people. Along with the driver, Reid, Rossi, and Emily climbed in, wearing life jackets in loo of their Kevlar vests. They suspected guns would be fairly useless over there.

Hotch and Morgan stayed behind on shore. "Hurry back, guys." Their unit chief said just as the motor started.

It sped off across the lake, the propellers cutting a stream of water in its path, glistening from the moonlight like silver ribbons. The boat went further and further out, the sound fading as it went.

Hotch was aware someone came into his area as he watched them depart. "Is Peter out there?" Alexa asked.

"We're fairly certain." Hotch answered, not looking at her. "Hopefully, they'll get to him in time."

Her hand covered her mouth as her eyes closed, silently screaming for that to be true. She was so close to having her little boy back, she had lost hope she lost many weeks ago… it couldn't all be in vain. They had to find him. He had to be okay.

* * *

><p>There was no real safe place to dock the boat. The driver got as close as he could to the shore before turning off the motor and jumping out, leading it up the rest of the way. The three agents tossed their vests aside, the easier to move around. It was odd being out here with nothing but their flashlights, but that was all they needed.<p>

"I say we split up." Rossi decided. "Keep calling out for Peter, he might be able to cry back. If anyone finds anything, we call it out right away."

Emily and Reid agreed. Lights in hand, they hurried up the beach and into the thick woods, beginning their search.

From the mainland, the island didn't look that large. Once onshore, though, it was much bigger and very vast. The cries of the others echoed around the forest as Reid continued his search, flashing his light all around, checking every spot before he took a step, making sure he didn't crush a little hand or leg.

"Peter?" Reid cried, climbing over a fallen log. "Peter, please… we've come to take you home. Peter!"

There was no answer. This could take ages. Who knew if they would be even able to find him until first light? It didn't matter to him how long it took, Reid wouldn't stop until he found that little boy. Dead or alive.

"Peter?" He called, taking a step towards a large tree with low branches. The way they were arranged on this tree… it almost seemed like a natural ladder.

Why Reid felt intrigued by this, he didn't know, but as the cries of his friends sounded in the distance, he slowly led his light up the length of the tree… up… higher… and then he gasped.

"Guys!" Reid screamed in desperation. "I need help! I think I found him!"

It took time for the others to respond to his calls. Emily had been closer and made it there first. "What is it?" She asked, reaching him. She searched the ground for a sign of the boy, but there was nothing.

"Up there," Reid indicated, directing her with his flashlight. "Look,"

Emily wasn't so sure what she was looking out, trying to decipher what the object was. As Rossi arrived, Reid directed his vision, attempting to explain.

"It looks like a makeshift tree house." He said. "Very poorly made. Lovejoy might have been replicating an old one from his childhood, that might be where Peter is."

"If that's where he put the boys, it explains why one victim had a broken neck." Rossi said. "How are we going to get up there?"

It wasn't like Reid was afraid of heights, but even climbing up an old tree a considerable distance in the dark of night made him nervous. Still, getting the proper equipment would take too long. Handing his flashlight over to Emily, he took a step forward.

"Keep the light on me," He informed, his hand curling around the lowest branch. "Direct it where I tell you."

"Reid, no!" Emily cried. "You could fall and kill yourself!"

Reid had had enough of this. "I don't care!" He cried. "That little boy is up and he needs us, if you want to get help, fine, but I'm going up now."

Without another word, both hands clutched the branch and hoisted himself up. It was difficult, but he managed it, pulling his full weight onto the branch.

For an old tree, it felt very sturdy. All three beams of light were focused on him, giving him assistance as he adjusted to stand on the branch. For the first time, he wished he wasn't wearing these sneakers. They didn't have very good traction.

Now wasn't the time to be scared. Carefully, he maneuvered himself to the next branch, low enough to get himself up higher. Reid climbed on.

Higher and higher he went, moving slowly so as not to fall. A voice in his head kept screaming at him not to look down. Reid was trying to resist the temptation… but the further up he went, the more difficult it became.

Before he could stop himself, his temptation betrayed him. He took one glance down where his friends stood in worry, shining their lights up toward the sky.

It was a little more than ten feet, but it still was quite a shock. Losing his footing, Reid slipped, crying in fear as his arms clutched to the branch, trying to keep himself in the air.

"Reid!" Emily cried in fear.

A burning pain struck through his body. Something had ripped right through his corduroys and sliced his leg, but that seemed to be the worst of it. He was still in the air and was able to get his footing back. He'd worry about his injuries later.

"I'm alright," Reid called. The two breathed with relief, but still couldn't relax. He continued his climb upward, just two branches away… and then one.

Once he was at level, he took a moment to steady himself. This place looked like a good breeze would knock it over, climbing into it would be tricky. It was too late to turn back now. Gathering his courage, Reid pulled his aching body into the tree house, looking around.

The light didn't shine in here. Reid was forced to rely on his own eyes. They were fairly adjusted to the dark by now, though… but so far, he saw nothing. The place smelled horrible, particularly of fresh vomit, and the floor was wet, like it had rained recently.

"Hello?" Reid said softly. "Is anyone in here?"

It was a real miracle. A gentle cough answered in response, coming from the direction of the far corner, concealed in darkness. It didn't move much and Reid could make out a silhouette. It was large, much too big to be a bird or an animal. In fact… it couldn't be anything but a small child.

Reid tried to inch himself closer. His hand crinkled something as he moved. He picked it up to examine it, decided it had to be some kind of plastic bag, like the kind junk food was sold in. So that's what Lovejoy was feeding these kids. He leaves a few small bags of snacks here to last a day or so, but not enough to sustain someone for long.

"Peter?" Reid said softly. "Peter, is that you?"

Nothing answered, but he did see the form try to squish itself into a ball. He was so scared, Reid swore he could see him shaking.

"Peter, it's okay." Reid assured, moving closer. "My name's Spencer. I'm a friend of your mom's… you know, she's waiting for you over there, on the edge of the lake… I'm going to take you to her."

A shaky breath gasped in the darkness. "I can't swim." A little voice squeaked. It was so raspy, like he hadn't used it in some time.

"You don't have to swim, Peter." Reid assured. "I know you're scared, but I'm going to get you out of here. My friends are waiting for us down below. We have a boat and we're going to get you safely across the water. It's alright… you're going to go home."

After all he'd been told the last two months, it was no surprise the little boy wouldn't believe him at first. Slowly, he picked his up, breaking into the path of the moonlight, softly illuminating his little face.

He looked just like his picture… and so much like his mother.

Reid gave him a smile. "Hi, Peter."

"I don't feel good," He whined, starting to cry, "and I'm cold and I want my mommy."

"I know," He replied. "Come on, Buddy, I'm going to take you home."

He was still extremely terrified, but he took the chance and trusted him. Keeping low, he inched closer to Reid until he was in arm's length. Reid scooped him up, holding him close and breathing a sigh of relief. "It's going to be okay. Let's go home."

They reached the edge of the tree house. Reid took a glance down to the ground. It wasn't too far down, but enough to cause serious harm if one were to fall, especially someone as small as Peter.

"I've got him!" Reid called down. "We're on our way down, be ready."

He heard Emily's exasperated cry. "We're ready, Reid!"

"Okay, Peter," Reid said. The little boy picked up his head to look at him. "This is going to be tricky. It's going to be really hard to climb down so I need you to hold onto me as tight as you possibly can, and you can't let go for anything. Can you do that for me?"

"I think so," He muttered, sniffling and crying.

"It's going to be okay." Reid assured again, trying to smile, wondering if he could even see it in the darkness. He reached to give the boy a comforting brush to his cheek, noticing how warm he was. Being up here for so long, he should be freezing cold. That meant Peter had a fever. He was sick, he needed help now.

"Hang on," He ordered, clutching the little boy close to him. Peter's little arms clutched around his neck as tight as possible. Reid was going to have to manage this with one hand. He had to ignore the throbbing in his leg for now and just get to the ground.

Words couldn't describe the worry the others felt, left on the ground, watching helplessly. "Oh, God," Emily whispered as Reid started his journey down, trying to maneuver with just his legs and one arm, the other holding the little boy close to him.

"It'll be alright," Rossi muttered, hoping a positive attitude would make it so.

He made it down two levels, but there was still a distance to go. Reid paused for just a breath before taking another step. Peter clung close him, breathing on his neck, his little tears falling onto his shoulder.

He lowered himself down another level, carefully. They were getting closer. Finding his footing again, vigilant to make sure his feet were firmly planted before putting his full weight on the branch. Each level felt like a small victory. "We're almost there, Buddy."

Peter whimpered in fear, clinging to him even tighter. He took one more step down, Reid breathed a sigh of relief, knowing he was in reach of the others now.

"Okay, Peter," Reid said, getting his attention. "I'm going to hand you down to my friends now, but I'm right behind you, okay?"

"Okay," He muttered, not too happy about having to release himself from this man. Reid lowered himself to sit on the branch, his muscles so tired from bringing this extra weight down from above.

Emily handed both her lights to Rossi as she hurried forward, reaching out for the little bundle cautiously being lowered. He fell into her hands and she brought him close to her. The poor thing was absolutely petrified. He started sobbing in Emily's arms, clutching to her.

"It's alright, Sweetheart," She shushed, holding him close. "You're safe now, we're going to take you home."

The poor thing was so terrified, no doubt feeling sick, he heaved a few times, starting to gag. Emily had the frame of mind to lower him to the ground, letting the poor thing vomit among the mud and leaves of the forest floor.

Reid had to admit, he could understand that reaction. He barely spent twenty minutes in that tree and he felt dizzy and nauseas. Now, at last on solid ground, he let out a heavy exhale and collapsed onto the earth, leaning against the monstrous tree trunk.

Rossi gave a chuckle as he handed him back his light. "You okay?"

He gave a nod as he continued to pant, taking back his light. He shined the beam back up to the top of the tree… it looked so much higher than it was a moment ago. His gut did a flip as he truly took in what he saw.

"Way to go, Reid," Rossi said, offering his hand to help him up. "That was pretty impressive, you didn't even think before you started up there."

As the pain in his leg started the pulse, the fabric of his pants clinging to his skin from the sticky blood, Reid felt like he might be sick himself. "Did I really climb all the way up there?"

"Yes, you did." Rossi answered.

Reid clasped his hand as he got to his unsteady feet, feeling slightly woozy. "Wow, that was… really brave."

"Amazing what you're capable of when the pressure's on." He said, putting a hand on his back so as to keep him from falling back to the sturdy ground. "Come on, let's all go home."

Reid turned and found Emily comforting the little boy. He forgot about his own ailment in the sight of the child's. He hurried over to Emily's side, kneeling down and patting him on the back.

"It's okay, Buddy," Reid assured. "We're going to go home now."

"I want my mommy," He sobbed again, and with that, collapsed into Reid's arms falling into a fit of sobs. All three of them almost felt like crying themselves. Two months that little boy had been away from his family, he must be traumatized.

Reid picked him up, cradling him close, letting him cry on his shoulder. "Well then let's go see her."

Rossi gave Emily back her light and led the way back through the woods. Walking was a little easier now, not having to worry too much where they stepped. Rossi lead the way, finding the clearest path possible. Emily brought up the rear while Reid protected the shivering, sick child in his arms, finally taking him back to his mother.


	35. A True Miracle

The driver pulled a heavy wool blanket out of the boat for Peter, which Reid quickly wrapped around him. Rossi guided both of them into the boat and Emily followed. The driver pushed them safely onto the water before climbing back in. He went to start the motor. He pulled once, the engine sputtered and choked as it tried to come to life, falling silent.

He pulled once again, getting the same response. Emily and Rossi looked at each other with worry. If they couldn't get the motor started, someone was going to have to come and get them, and it would be difficult to alert the others in the darkness, their cellphones foolishly left behind on the mainland. Peter kept crying and coughing, clinging tightly to Reid who held him close. He was shivering violently, probably an effect from his fever.

Third time's a charm. As the driver pulled the starter again, the engine gave a gurgle and thankfully started, powering across the lake back to the shore. The police lights were shining, they'd even lit lanterns on the dock to guide them back. Like a real homecoming for the little boy.

None too soon, the boat made it to the dock, parking along side. One by one, they climbed out of the boat, heading to join the others. Hotch and Morgan rushed over to hear the verdict.

"Did you find him?" Morgan asked.

"We sure did," Emily said happily. It was a rare treat when they got to close a case with a smile, and all of them wanted to savor it as much as they could.

Indeed, they never saw Hotch look so relieved. "Thank goodness," He said, patting the little boy's head. "Is he alright?"

"He needs a doctor, and he's pretty shaken up." Reid answered. From the lanterns and the light of the moon, Reid could make out someone walking slowly towards the dock.

Alexa hadn't taken her eyes off the island since they left, their return filling her with worry and desperation. With the lack of light, she couldn't tell what the result of their search was, but was nervous at the bundle Spencer was carrying in his arms. It didn't look like it was moving, but then why was he holding it so protectively?

Reid smiled, giving the little boy a jostle. "Hey, Peter… look who's coming over."

He pointed down the dock at Alexa, walking slowly towards them, too afraid to learn what the truth was, to know if these two months had finally come to a tragic end.

Sniffling, his breath stuttering, Peter picked up his head and looked where Reid was pointing. He couldn't tell at first, but she gradually got closer. As he recognized her, his eyes lit up with joy, and cried out for her. "Mommy!"

It was the most beautiful word Alexa had ever heard, better than the first time she heard Meredith say it. She burst into tears as her feet picked up speed, running towards them.

"My baby!" She screamed, reaching into Reid's arms to take Peter from him. Reid easily released him, watching with great happiness as the mother and child were at long last reunited.

He felt a strong hand land on his shoulder, giving him a prideful squeeze. "I bet you feel pretty good right now." Morgan said with a glowing smirk.

Reid had solved a lot of cases and he'd saved quite a few people, but he'd never felt this good after a case. Most missing children were dead within the first 24 hours; yet 2 months later, this little boy was going home. Today was beyond a victory. It was truly a miracle.

"Yeah," Reid finally nodded. "I really do."

He saw John Hillman hurry over. For a split second, he seemed like a different person. Running as fast as possible, he hurried to his wife's side, seeing for himself that it was true. His little boy was home, crying happily in his mother's arms.

"Peter?" He asked, needing to be sure.

"Daddy!" Peter cried as he wept, reaching out for him.

Reid had never believed that man was capable of any emotion but anger, but he was pleased to say he was wrong. John started crying almost as hard as Alexa, taking the little boy in his embrace, squeezing him so tight, Peter almost couldn't breathe.

Alexa smiled, patting her son on the back before she turned away. Her eyes landed on Reid, and hurried over to him.

He really hadn't expected what happened next. Alexa ran into his arms, pulling him as close to her as possible. It was so much more heartfelt than when he hugged her earlier.

"Thank you," She sobbed, almost hysterically. "Oh, thank you, Spencer."

He was stunned for a moment. A few days ago, if Reid ever thought he'd see this girl again, they would never have a moment like this. Today, however, it almost seemed odd they were never able to be friends before. "You're very welcome."

She held him for several minutes before she finally let him go. Pulling away, Alexa cupped his cheek and gave him a tearful smile, unable to express all the gratitude she felt for him. Reaching up, she kissed his cheek, meeting his eyes one more time before she finally left him.

John was still holding onto his son, but looked up down the dock at Reid. They didn't say a word to each other, and probably never would again. Reid couldn't help but hope their paths wouldn't cross another time from this day forward. But right now, as their eyes met over the top of Peter's head, he gave a subtle nod. The only way he could say thank you.

Reid gave his own nod, a way of saying he'd understood. He detested this man more than ever, after the last two days and how he treated his wife, he could feel nothing but hatred for him. Still, though, he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy to suffer the pain of losing a child and was glad John didn't have to endure that. He most certainly wasn't his worst enemy… but he made the list.

A few paramedics began to lead the family away, needing to check on their son. "Come on, Reid." Rossi said as they started to head back down the dock. "Our job's done, let's go."

He was right. They had a bit of a drive ahead of them to get back to Vegas, where Riley was waiting for him.

* * *

><p>It was very late by the time they made it back to the station. The team wanted to get everything cleaned up tonight so they could leave first thing in the morning. Morgan had been thinking for hours about climbing into bed and finally getting some rest, but even now that didn't sound appealing. Right now, it felt like nothing could get rid of this pain.<p>

He hadn't offered to go onto the island because his stomach had been hurting again, the pain hit him in intervals. It wasn't until they started back to Vegas did it become more frequent and now, it was the worst it had been. Not only was it constant, it was getting worse by the minute. Now, as the others started heading to the hotel, he felt so weak, he could barely stand. He and Reid remained in the conference room, the last of the files gathered, ready to be stored in the closed archives of the precinct. He took a seat at the table while Reid made a phone call.

"Hey, sorry did I wake you?" Reid wondered, hearing the groggy voice that answered.

"No, I was just about to doze off, though." Riley sleepily said. "How are you doing?"

"Guess what," He smiled, picking up the eraser to wipe away his work. "I rescued a little boy tonight."

Riley gasped on the other end. "That's wonderful, Sweetheart. I'm so happy you found him. He's really okay?"

"He's sick, mostly from the cold and lack of nourishment, but he'll be just fine." He answered. "How are you feeling? I've been worried about you."

"Tired mostly, but I think I'm feeling a little better. A little stronger." Riley replied.

Reid hoped that was a good sign. As much as he wanted this baby, though, his main concern was that she got out of this okay. They could always make another baby, there was only one Riley. "I'm glad. I'm one my way to the hospital. I need to stop at the emergency room, so I should be there in about an hour or two."

"Emergency room?" She repeated, sounding much more awake now. "Oh my God, what happened? Are you alright?"

He immediately explained. "I'm fine, I just cut my leg and I need some stitches. I'll tell you about it later. I'll be there very soon."

"Okay," She uttered, still bothered that he'd gotten hurt, however miniscule the injury was. "I'll try to stay awake until you get here."

"No, you get some sleep. You need your rest." Reid ordered. "I'll try not to wake you when I get there."

"Spencer… wake me." She demanded.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh at her request, knowing how much she loved having him by her side. It was times like this he truly knew she loved him. "Yes, ma'am."

They said their goodbyes and "I love you"s and hung up. Reid slipped his phone into his pocket, looking around. He didn't take much notice of Morgan sitting at the table, his head hanging down as he tried to breathe. Even that was making him want to be sick.

"Okay, I think we're done here." Reid said, going to grab his bag. He was slipping it over his shoulder as he turned to Morgan. "You take the car to the hotel, I'll grab a cab outside. Have a good night, we'll see you guys tomorrow before you leave."

"Reid," Morgan cried, forcing himself to look up.

He was just about to step out into the squad room, inches from leaving him behind. Reid turned back to his friend and gasped, having not realized how poorly his friend looked right now. His face was sallow and ashen and there was sweat on his forehead from the strain. He looked ready to pass out.

"I, uh…" He struggled to pull himself to his feet, his hand pressed to his abdomen. "I think I need to go to the hospital."

Reid didn't hesitate a moment, hurrying to his friend. Luckily, they weren't too far away, plus the sirens would add extra help. "Come on," Reid said gently as he began to lead Morgan out. "Let's go."

He'd never known Morgan to hang onto him like this, most of his weight supported by the smaller man as they slowly but surely made their way out of the station. Reid couldn't remember seeing his friend so weak before.

"I'm sorry," Morgan groaned as he struggled to breathe. "I should have gotten help before."

Yes, he should have, but now wasn't the time for 'I told you so'. "It's going to be okay, Morgan, I promise." He said, and just as Morgan did earlier, gave his shoulder a brotherly squeeze. It was all going to be okay.

* * *

><p>It was almost midnight now. Alexa had never been so tired before tonight. She hadn't really slept in two months and now, with all three of her babies in the same room, she could very easily sink into this chair and sleep like a rock, even with the ruckus going on.<p>

Peter had been admitted, needing fluids and medicine to get his body healthy again, but he looked so happy, reunited with his family. Penny was climbing all over his bed, ecstatic her brother was finally home, constantly screaming how she was right, that she always knew Peter was going to come back. Even Meredith, who was usually so bitter and glum, was grinning happily. The best part was, no one was here putting a damper in their spirits. It made Alexa realize, life could be like this all the time now… if she wanted it to be.

"Alright, young lady." Alexa called as she got to her feet. "It's way past your bedtime, it's time to take off our shoes and get some sleep."

"I wanna sleep with Peter!" She whined as she collapsed onto the bed with a poof.

"Me, too!" Peter whined tiredly. "I want Penny!"

She wouldn't dare separate the two now, both so excited to see each other, Penny almost dove into his arms when Meredith brought her in. "Sure, you two can sleep in the bed, but Penny you be careful of Peter's medicine, he needs that to get better."

"I will, Mama." She cried.

As she went to remove her sneakers, she glanced at her eldest, sitting quietly in her chair. "If you want, I could have a nurse watch them and drive you home."

She gave a shrug. "Nah, I'm fine here… I don't want to go home and get stuck in the middle of whatever drunken bash is going on between those three."

"Well," Alexa muttered, setting Penny's shoes aside. She picked up her daughter to bring her to the other side of the bed. As the little girl calmed down, she was starting to get sleepy. "We're not going to have to deal with that much longer."

The little ones didn't know what she meant, but Meredith completely understood. She looked at her mother with amazement and skepticism. "Do you mean it?"

If her daughter looked that hopeful at the prospect of having a different life, she started to realize they should not only do this, but should have much sooner. "Yeah… I really do."

The twins nestled together in bed and Alexa pulled the covers over both of them. Within a few minutes, they fell fast asleep, probably the best rest either had had in all this time. Everyone was going to sleep well tonight.

A knock suddenly sounded on the door. Meredith got nervous and caught her mother's eye. "Is that Dad?"

She doubted John would even knock, but still she rushed to the door. At least if there was a problem, she just had to hit the call button by the bed. "I told him to go home."

Opening the door carefully, she sighed with relief when she saw it was Agent Hotchner. "Oh, it's you."

"Are you alright?" Hotch asked.

"Yes, I uh…" She checked behind her, not really wanting Meredith to hear any of this. She moved to step out the door, letting it close behind her. "I told John I wanted him to leave tonight, he was making the girls nervous and I didn't want Peter to get any more upset. I thought he might be back, no doubt with some kind of liquor on his breath."

Hotch cleared his throat, deciding not to comment on that. "I just wanted to know how Peter's doing."

While it was obvious Agent Hotchner was a caring man, she could tell he didn't do this with most of his victims, if any. "Very well. The doctor said he might have survived another day, but he was very dehydrated. He'd only eaten some Cheetos and Oreos over the last two months, so he's pretty malnourished, but he'll be able to go home by the end of the week."

"That's wonderful," He replied. He spoke so sadly, attempting to keep a distance from this woman. "I'm glad we could be of help. If there's anything we can do for you-"

"You saved my child, Agent Hotchner," She cried. "I should be doing something for all of you. I wish there was something that could compare to this."

Hotch gave her significant smile. "No one would have found him if it weren't for you, Mrs. Hillman. You're the one who came to us for help. You're the reason your son's alive, plus you helped solve the murders of five other boys, and who knows how many more you saved. It could have been ages before someone connected the cases together, if ever."

She let out a breath. "Huh… you never really know… the effect you can have."

"No," Hotch shook his head. He said what he needed to say and now he could leave… but something was keeping him here.

"I also wanted to… apologize, again." He uttered. "I overstepped my boundaries earlier, it's not my place to protect you… that's just my job. If I see someone I feel is in danger… I have to step in. I can't live with myself otherwise. I hope you can understand."

Her heart was pounding so hard as she stared at this wonderful man, who had come between her and John like a guardian.

"If there's anything you need," He said, taking a few steps back in effort to start his getaway, "please don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you." She answered, nearly breathless. She knew what she wanted to say, it was saying it. Alexa had just kicked one man out of her life, this wasn't the time to bring in another.

"Take care now," He said, giving her nod, and went to turn away.

"The truth is you were right." Alexa cried, hurrying to him. "John… well, maybe he wasn't going to hit me, but he was getting violent and… I can't tell you what it means to me that you stepped in."

Stopped in his tracks, Hotch turned back to her. "Well… I'm glad I could help. I did upset you, though, so I apologize."

"No… oh, God, it wasn't you." She shook her head, bowing away. "I was angry with myself… about you. So I took my anger out on you, it was wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Hotch was moving closer to her, despite all the warnings screaming in his head that he should leave.

She didn't know what to say. He was moving closer to her, the smell of his gentle cologne surrounded her and she longed to be wrapped in his arms again. She'd never felt herself so magnetically drawn to another man.

"I…" She managed to mumble. She paused to clear her throat, needing to speak more clearly. "I knew you were right. For so long, since I was a teenager, I've known John shouldn't be treating me like he does. He shouldn't hit me or yell or manhandle me… and that's putting it lightly. I've just been ignoring it, pretending everything's okay… you could see the truth and I didn't want to listen… not from you."

Hotch couldn't stop himself from asking. "Why… because you don't know me that well?"

That was the worst part of it. How could she let herself be so moved and influenced by a man she just met. She didn't even remember his first name.

For a long time after, Alexa would blame what happened next on her emotional. She'd spent two months in hell and an entire weekend grasping at the last shreds of hope. She'd been through the ringer and her emotions were right at the surface. She couldn't stop herself.

Agent Hotchner had a bit of a height difference on her, but it wasn't difficult to reach up and cup the back of his head. Alexa pulled him down, crashing her lips against his, bringing them into a kiss with a passion neither could remember feeling in their lifetime.

She may have started this, but Hotch knew he should end it. It was wrong to take such liberties with the mother of a victim… and a married woman at that. He couldn't stop, though. It felt so good, he never wanted it to end… and just as Rossi told him, no one saw him cross the line.

He'd put a toe over and that was all. As their lips parted, Hotch slowly opened his eyes, finding the gorgeous jade pair that entranced him so. They were searching for something, waiting for him to bring her in for a second round.

Pushing her away gently, Hotch stepped back. "Goodnight," He croaked and hurried away, down the hall and out of sight. As she watched him leave, her hand covered her mouth, knowing she went a bit too far, twisting her stomach with guilt… her heart beating like the wings of a dove.


	36. Tell Me You Love Me

Hotch didn't realize he was back at the hotel until he turned the engine off. His body just drove him here, like it were forcing him to get away from her, however badly he had wanted to stay. But this was for the best. He had to return to his life and she had to go on with hers, with whatever decision she made. Hopefully, she'd make the right one, and give a better life to her children.

Going into the hotel, he noticed the girls and Rossi were still in the lobby. Rossi was off to the side, talking with someone on his cell phone, the others looking very worried. Concerned, his worries pushed from his thoughts for now, he joined them, wanting answers. It didn't escape his notice that Morgan wasn't among the group.

"What's going on?" Hotch inquired at once. His first thought was Strauss had caught on to what they were doing, not really approving of this loop hole he had presented Friday afternoon at the briefing.

"We were out at dinner when Rossi got a call from Reid." JJ explained, her face almost ashen. "Morgan's in trouble."

Hotch was instantly anxious by that. He had sensed Morgan wasn't up to his usual standards over the last few days, but he never led on it was anything serious. Had he not been so distracted, he would have seen when his teammate was in danger.

"Did he say what's wrong?" Hotch questioned. He looked to each of the girls for answers.

"All we heard was that he had to take Morgan to the emergency room." Garcia explained. She was so worried about her boy, though not as much as someone else, she noticed. "We just got here when Reid finally called back to tell us what's going on."

"I knew something serious was wrong with him." Emily moaned as she sunk into her chair, looking more like she wanted to dash out the door and drive to the hospital as fast as possible, and she probably would, were she to have the keys. "I should have forced him to go to a doctor."

If anything happened to him, she'd never forgive herself. She loved him so much, she couldn't lose him. Her life had no meaning without him. The only comfort she found was when a soft hand reached over and clutched hers, squeezing it with support. Emily looked up to find JJ giving her a reassuring look.

"It'll be okay," She avowed, without any real proof to back it up. Even the strongest man had to fall someday.

To a small degree, Emily felt easier, just from her encouragement alone. She and JJ hadn't even spoken about the newfound knowledge of the relationship, but feeling this, Emily sensed she, like Garcia, definitely had her back.

"Thanks, Reid," Rossi said as he walked back over. "Yeah, I'll tell the others. Tell Riley we said hi."

He waited a moment as Reid said a farewell and hung up the phone, looking to each of the anxious faces. "I take it you heard?" He asked Hotch.

He nodded, "What's going on, is he alright?"

"Well," Rossi spoke slowly, but judging by his casual attitude, there wasn't anything grave about this. "What Morgan believed was the flu was a case of Chronic Appendicitis, Not too serious, but something to look out for. Reid said the doctor examined him and it's now Acute, so he needs an appendectomy."

"Oh, God," JJ muttered, covering her mouth. The only person who wasn't reacting so distraughtly was Emily, forcing her worry to stay bottled up. The poor woman looked like she was about to explode like one of Reid's physics experiments. "He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

"Reid said it's a very common procedure, which he then progressed to explain the logistics to me – please, don't ask me to repeat them. Provided there aren't any complications, he should be just fine. Reid's going to be at the hospital all night, he'll be keeping an eye on him and let us know if there are any problems. There's no point in us congesting the waiting room when we can't even see him until midmorning… right?"

A rhetorical question, of course. Like they could just go to bed when one of their own was having surgery. Hotch couldn't help but smile. "We can all fit in one car. I'll drive."

Everyone agreed, eager to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. The only person who wasn't relived by this news was Emily. She was so worried, so afraid something was going to go wrong while he was under the knife, her chest hurt. If anything happened to him, she'd never get over it. She'd never forgive herself for not making him get help sooner… and, she'd always regret never telling him she loved him.

* * *

><p><em>She couldn't believe she was here. There had been a lot of things she wanted to say to her father, but just assumed she'd have more time. Their relationship became strained when she went to school, treating her like she abandoned him. He was pretty pleased when she graduated after only two years, but assumed she'd come back home. And then she started med school… he overdosed before the end of the first semester.<em>

_The funeral home was mostly empty. Riley was sitting alone in the front row, overlooking the closed coffin. There weren't a lot of people who cared enough about her family to be her, both her parents cutting off friendships over the years. Sean Hotchner told her he wasn't going to come, knowing her parents made it very plain they never wanted to see him again. What good would attending a funeral do? He did send flowers though… that was nice._

_Her aunt sat down beside her, giving her a look over. "You look nice."_

"_Thanks," She grumbled, looking down at the frock she was wearing. The perfect funeral dress; after today she hoped she'd never wear it again. "Thanks for coming, Aunt Sherry, I know it was a long drive… but you're the only sibling who was still speaking to Daddy in the end."_

_She eyed Riley significantly, a judgmental glint in her eye. "Well, someone had to look out for your father. It's not like your mother made his life easier."_

_Riley swallowed her temper, answering with a calm reply, "You can't make me feel guilty for starting my life."_

"_You're right," She nodded, though it didn't sound like she entirely agreed. "You have the right to do what you want… but your father needed you, at least for a little while longer. Your mother made his life Hell, Sweetie."_

_Her eyes fell to the ground. It wasn't like her life had been a walk in the park for the first 18 years, and it wasn't much better now. She looked over her father's coffin one more time, the last time she'd ever see him._

"_I need to get back to school." She said, standing up. The service was over and her mother hadn't planned a lunch, so there was no further obligation. She had a test tomorrow afternoon anyway, she needed to study. "I guess, I'll… see you at Christmas?"_

_Her aunt stood to give her a hug. A stiff, cold, loveless embrace that would send a chill through a normal person. It didn't really bother Riley. She'd never known any kind of warmth or love when someone held her, and frankly didn't think it was possible._

_There was one more person she needed to speak to before leaving for Boston, and Riley dreaded it most of all. She had to stay at home for the last two days and it had been like living in a refrigerator. The women barely spoke to one another. They'd barely said a word since the day Riley said she was leaving._

_Her mother was accepting condolences from their next door neighbors. It was rather admirable of them to come, considering they'd heard all the fighting over all these years. But maybe that's why they were here. Not really to say goodbye, but as the start of a life full of peace and quiet._

_Thankfully, they were being very civil with Mary Ann Parker, giving her a hug and offering their sympathy. Riley kept a distance from them, not wanting to be roped into this. She didn't want to speak to anyone else, she just wanted to get out of here and try not to think of what a mess her life had been. The mess she was working so hard to clean up now. There was a time, many years ago, when things weren't too bad. When her mother drank half as much as normal and her father held a real job, when her parents were basically civil, not really talking to each other at all. It wasn't a happy place to live, but it was quiet and tolerable. Riley had liked it. Now, it was so far in the past. It felt more like a dream than a real memory… maybe that's all it really was._

_The neighbors walked out the open doors into the cloudy, late autumn day. Riley had a clear path to her mother. She stepped up to the older woman, who reflected her appearance like a magic mirror, showing her a representation of what the future held for her. Mary Ann stared her down for a moment before taking a deep breath, speaking very rationally. "Leaving already?"_

_"Yeah," She nodded. "I'm… tired. It's best I head home."_

"_Okay," Her mother nodded. "Well, don't worry, I have a friend at Walmart who can get you a job, you won't even need to go in for an interview. Should I set up a meeting on Monday?"_

_Confused, "What are you talking about?"_

_Her bitterness was starting to come through, and from the smell of her breath, Riley knew her mother wasn't entirely sober. "Don't you think for a second you're going to sit around the house all day letting me take care of you. Uh, uh, I put up with enough of that shit with your father. That gravy train stops now."_

"_No, Mom… I'm not…" She didn't know what to say, unbelieving her mother actually thought this. What a twisted world she lived in, always thinking about herself. "I'm not going back to the house… I'm… I'm going back to Boston. That's where I live now."_

_Her mother looked at her with amazement and repulsion. "But you're moving back."_

"_Why would I do that?" Riley wondered. "I'm in med school, Harvard med school. I have an apartment and a job and a life, I can't just pick up and leave."_

"_Well, I'm sorry you're leaving so much behind, but you have to understand, I need you here." She informed. "Riley, I'm going to lose the house without another income, your father's unemployment barely cut it. You need to get a job so we can live."_

_Riley would not yield. Being away from this poison so long had an effect on her, and she wasn't just ready to crumble at her will. "I'm sorry you're having financial problems, but it's not my responsibility. I have my own life, I'm taking care of myself…" She started heading towards the door, hoping this would be the end of the conversation. "It's not my job to take care of you."_

_She hurried out of the funeral home, but Mary Ann Parker wouldn't be silenced so easily. Furious, she rushed out the door after her daughter, screaming at the top of her lungs._

"_How dare you walk away from me, after everything I've done for you!" She screamed._

"_To be honest, Mom," Riley said, searching through her purse for her keys. "You've never really done that much."_

"_You little bitch!" Her mother shrieked, right on her tail. The next door neighbors had yet to get into their car, looking at the spectacle with interest. Nothing they hadn't seen over the years, though. "Don't you walk away from me!"_

_Riley wouldn't stop, though, trying to get to her car. She wished she wasn't wearing heels. They were so hard to make a quick getaway in._

"_You think you're so special, don't you? You think you're so smart and talented, well, let me tell you something, little girl. You are nothing!" She screamed, refusing to back off. Riley begged herself to go faster, to get away from this woman once and for all. "Do you understand me, you're nothing, you're worthless! You'll never be good enough for anything or anybody! The worst day of my life is the day you came into the world and if I could go back, I'd change everything to make sure you were never born!"_

_Her words cut into her like a knife repeatedly slicing into her flesh, but Riley wouldn't give her the satisfaction of showing her pain. She wouldn't even look at her mother before climbing into the driver's seat, slamming the door._

_She got in just in time, the rain started splattering down on her windows, muffling the sounds of her mother's cries. Riley didn't know what she screamed after that, but couldn't imagine she'd say anything worse. Without a word or even a glance, Riley backed out of her parking spot carefully, driving out of the funeral's lot much faster than was wise. Her mother watched her drive off as the rain sputtered around her, the hatred for her ungrateful offspring unyielding in her veins._

_For a while, all Riley did was drive. The rain started coming down in heavy sheets, turning icy as she drove further north. After an hour, the memory of her mother screaming stopped echoing in her head. Along the highway, Riley pulled off the side, needing a few minutes to her rest. Her hands had been clutching the steering wheel so tightly, it almost hurt to pry them away._

_Her body was shaking, she finally realized. The only sound around her was the gentle fall of the rain. Her father was dead and now, she had no reason nor desire to see her mother ever again. If Riley had anything to do about it, she never would._

_Still, it hurt. To know her mother hated her that much, over things that were never her fault. Riley couldn't stop from bursting into tears. It wasn't just that her mother said those things… but that Riley really believed they were true. She was nothing… and she'd never be good enough for anything._

Riley gasped as she woke suddenly, ripped out of her dream from someone gently shaking her. It had just been a nightmare, all over now. In the darkness, she found Spencer leaning over her, obviously sensing her turmoil, rescuing her once again.

"It's alright," He whispered, sitting beside her bed. "It's just me."

His loving smile made her start crying for real. "Tell me you love me." She begged.

Worried, he obliged at once. "I love you... I love you more than my own life... what's wrong?"

She shook her head, closing her eyes as she sobbed silently. She covered her line of vision with her hand, feeling so ashamed. She felt Spencer reach over her body, taking one hand while he tried to push the other one away.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" He questioned, needing to know. "Is something wrong? Did... something happen?"

"No," She stammered, her tears not stopping any time soon. "Nothing like that… I just… I had a bad dream."

It was worse than that; it wasn't a dream at all. She pulled her hand away at last, letting it fall into Reid's other grasp. She didn't know how to voice this, finally coming to terms with a demon she'd been running from almost her whole life… something she'd always feared was her fault.

"What was it?" Reid asked. He wanted to help her, he just didn't know where to start. Not unless she told him.

"Why?" She begged at last, a question that had been bursting to be spoken for years. "God, Spencer... why did she hate me so much? Why didn't she want me?"

Her sobs continued without relenting, unable to control the emotions that at last found a voice. Reid needed no more details than that to know who she was speaking over, not with everything they were going through right now. Any second, he was going to start crying, too, hating to see her in this pain. Pain that had stopped her from wanting a life that made her happy, making her believe she didn't deserve real love.

Reid stood up, pulling away from her. Riley didn't seem to notice, still sobbing hysterically. Quickly, he kicked off his shoes, taking a risk he dared not take last night. He carefully climbed into bed with her, wrapping her in his arms. Riley responded at once, falling into his embrace were she wept on his shoulder, her cries quieted a bit.

"I don't know," He finally answered, lightly stroking the long dark curls down her back. "I can't imagine how it's possible someone couldn't love you... but for whatever reason... it was not your fault."

She squeezed him tighter at that, "I hate her. I never did anything to her and she just… she just made me feel like I was worthless and disposable… I'll never be able to forgive her."

"That's okay." Reid assured, reaching over to kiss her temple. "I know better than anyone what it's like to hate someone... sometimes it just can't be helped. But you have to stop hating yourself. What she did made her a bad person, not you."

"They made me into this horrible woman, Spencer. They make me hurt everyone around me, including my own child." She whimpered, leaning on him. Just saying that one sentence exhausted her, yet it felt like a great weight had lifted away. Her hand was clutching to his sweater, like she needed to grab onto him for fear he'd abandon her. "If those two could just have controlled themselves long enough to realize they should use a condom, they never would have made this stupid mistake. They make me wish I was never born."

"Riley, no." Reid cried, tilting her face up to look at him. "You're not a bad person, you're wonderful. Your parents made their own choices, you didn't have anything to do with that. You were just a little girl who needed someone to love her... that was their responsibility and they messed it up, it had nothing to do with you. I know you're afraid you'll turn out like them, but that won't happen. You're stronger than they were."

"How do you know that?" She sniffled.

"I know... I can see things a lot more clearly than most people, and I can definitely see that." He said smiling, tears filling his eyes again. "You're a beautiful woman, inside and out… and in my opinion, I don't think Mary Ann and Evan Parker rejecting a contraceptive was a mistake… I think it was the greatest decision in the history of the world."

Nothing could describe what those words meant to her. She never had doubts now that Spencer loved her, but it was nice to have solid proof about it from time to time. His tears spilled out as she reached over to claim his lips and he cried along with her. Her hand brushed his cheek as she inched closer to him, their bodies right against each other.

As the kiss broke, she leaned against his brow, finding his hazel eyes with her brown. "Just so you know... I wouldn't want anyone's baby but yours."

He nodded with a small grin. "You mentioned that once."

"I should have said it a lot more... I should have given the thought of a family more of a chance, I should have listened to you."

"You're listening now." He answered. "This is not over yet. We have one more day. Tuesday morning, we'll know. And, if the worst happens-"

"We'll try again." She finished, giving a forced, but still sincere smile.

Reid matched it. He didn't want to have to try again, but at least knew someday, they would be a family.

For now, at least, they had each other. "I'll let you sleep, you need you're rest." Reid said as he started to pull away.

"No," She moaned, grabbing him tighter to keep him close. "Please... don't leave me. I need you."

How could he deny her? Reid nestled closer to Riley, cradling her close as she lay on her back. "I'm here," He whispered, kissing the top of her head. Lying with her like this made him feel like he was lying in a bed of roses. "I'll always be here."

Riley sighed with relief. "I love you." She whispered, the effort of crying putting her to sleep.

"I love you more." He mumbled. Within a moment, her body became very heavy and her breathing slow and calm. Reid felt much calmer than last night, resting a hand on her stomach again. It was just one more day.

* * *

><p>The lights of Vegas were predominantly bright tonight. Or maybe that was just the wearing off of anesthesia. Either way, it was very pretty. Morgan was having a good time just staring at it.<p>

Right now his gut was throbbing, but that was normal, the doctor said. At least now, feeling like he'd been cut open, it was actually true. He'd definitely take this pain over what he'd experienced over the last month. This was foolish. He should have seen a doctor yesterday, when Emily asked. She was going to be a gloating mess for the next few weeks. Morgan knew he deserved it, though he hated the fact he'd miss out on being looked after by her. Reid was right, he did love it. He loved her, more than anything. She was the last thing he thought of when they put that mask on him, her beautiful smile and those gorgeous milk chocolate eyes, lighting up brighter than the rising sun. That was how she looked when she first woke up in the morning, the way she looked when they first spoke about Kurt Vonnegut in the break room, when he first started falling for her. He almost hoped when he opened his eyes, he'd find her by his side… watching him, just waiting for him to wake up.

The door opened and a cheery young nurse hurried in. "How are you feeling, Mr. Morgan?"

"A little groggy," He muttered, slouching back down his blankets.

She checked his IV of fluids and pain killers, satisfied with the stasis. Pulling back the blankets, she lifted the flap of his nightgown, checking over his wound. There was a time he'd find this the perfect opportunity to proposition the pretty girl. Not tonight. All he wanted right now was Emily, who was somewhere in that bright city, sleeping peacefully without him. He'd give anything to be with her right now, holding her.

"Okay… a little tender, but that's expected." She said, checking the bandage. "Stitches are holding. You keep healing this well, they'll let you out a day early, mister."

That smirk was nothing too subtle. Gently, taking an extra liberty by stroking along his exposed stomach, she covered him again, giving him another smile.

"Anything I can help you with?" She asked with a smile.

Morgan chuckled. "No, I'm fine."

"Listen," She said, inching closer to the head of the bed. "I have to finish my rounds, but I have a break around two. I could bring you some Jell-O if you like."

It wouldn't be the first time he had a first date with a nurse over Jell-O, and the times before he greatly enjoyed. Things were much different now, though, and so gave a shake of his head. "No, but thank you."

"Okay," She said kindly, accepting the rejection with grace, "but if you change your mind, just hit the call button. And ask for Lisa."

"Thanks, Lisa." He replied. Her sneakers gave a bit of a squeak as she turned, hurrying out of the room and continuing with her rounds of the other surgical patients. Morgan was alone again. He settled back in his pillow, looking out the window of the city again before drifting off, wondering where exactly Emily was in that cluster.

When the door opened ten minutes later, he expected it to be Nurse Lisa wondering if he changed his mind yet. The soul who entered didn't say a word; just waited in the silence. After a full minute, Morgan finally turned to look, and was greatly stunned for a moment. Emily Prentiss, leaning against his door. He was delightfully shocked at the welcoming sight.

"You lost?" Morgan smirked.

She giggled lightly, stepping into the room. Emily stood at the end of the bed, looking like she had so much to say and not enough time to say even half. "The others are in the waiting room… they wanted to be here for you, too. I managed to sneak away."

The smile on his face was so bright and wide, unable to describe how glad he was to see her. "Does this mean you love me, Prentiss?"

Emily sighed, "Something like that."

It was a complete mystery to her. She'd been practicing the three words all night, but now she couldn't say them. There was so much she wanted to say, too. Like how happy she was that he was okay and she should be mad that he waited so long to get help, and most importantly it was true. She loved him, she loved him more than anything… and she wanted to tell the whole world about it.

Trying to speak was too much of an effort. She sputtered and tried to breathe, her eyes welling up with moisture, her throat squeezing tightly. Morgan's smile faded as he watched her, hating that he put her through this.

"What is it, Em?" He asked delicately.

Giving up on speech, Emily hurried over to the side of the bed. Without so much as a glance for permission, she climbed on to join him, starting to cry. Her one arm went around his chest to hold him close, mindful how sore he must be. She reached up to press a loving kiss to his cheek, burying her face against his neck as she started to weep quietly.

Tenderly, Morgan's arm enclosed around her, keeping her safe and warm in his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, feeling much better now that she was by his side. He couldn't even feel the pain anymore.

"Prentiss," Morgan whispered.

"Hmm?" She whimpered in response.

He couldn't help but grin. "Would it be really insensitive of me if I were to feel you up right now?"

He nearly burst out with laughter as she picked up her head. The glare she gave him would have been very intimidating if she were trying not to smile. "You're such a dirty boy."

Both started chuckling, trying not to be too loud so the staff in the hall wouldn't be alerted. Morgan leaned down and brushed his lips against Emily's, kissing her warmly. Hearing the words would have been nice, but he didn't need them. He knew she loved him.


	37. Family

The next day went by without incident. Morgan was discharged that afternoon, with nothing but normal post op pain. He was ordered to take it easy for a while, including a week in bed. It was no surprise to anyone when Emily volunteered to look after him, the excuse being he didn't want to call his mother. The others weren't fooled, but Rossi and Hotch gave the courtesy of pretending so.

That evening, after saying goodbye and good luck to the Reids, the team went back to Quantico. Reid and Riley were alone, and were thankful for it. They loved their friends, but this was their problem. They wanted to deal with it together.

Tuesday morning came all too soon. Reid woke up early, unable to fall back to sleep. He wouldn't get out of bed, though. Riley was sleeping so peacefully, he was too afraid to wake her. Why would he want to leave anyway? This was his favorite place in the world.

After Riley woke up, he spent the next hour holding her hair back while she vomited in the trash can. Two days later and she was still having morning sickness. Reid hoped he wasn't just grasping onto straws. That this did mean something… only a few more hours to go. Dr. Tucker said their ultrasound was schedule for 11 that morning, and then they'd know.

She barely picked at her breakfast, still feeling so nauseas. The only thing she ate was the apple, settling her stomach a bit. Reid insisted she eat more and went down to the cafeteria to see if he could find a couple more. Not to mention he needed coffee, and since right now it was best she stay away from the delicious substance, he didn't want to drink it in front of her. It was weak, but good enough. Sipping it slowly, he walked through the halls of the hospital, ignoring the dull ache in his stitched shin. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it was some twist of fate, but after a little while, Reid found himself on the pediatric ward.

The first thing he heard was shouting, filling the empty halls. It was still fairly early, the children were still sleeping. Indeed, no one was even in the playroom yet. He couldn't make out what they were saying, the echo was so bad, but it was obvious whoever was shouting was angry… Reid sensed someone was in danger.

His coffee just about gone, he tossed his empty cup a trash can and rushed down the hall towards the source. Turning the corner, he saw the commotion immediately. Why wasn't he surprised?

A verbal fight had ensued, between Alexa and Jeremy Bundle. Where John was, Reid neither knew nor cared, but he did feel the need to step in. He had changed quite a bit this weekend. Last week, had he seen these two fighting, seeing Alexa cry like that, he would have taken a bit of glee in it. Truly, he would have felt she deserved it. Now he knew he had to do something.

"Is there a problem here?" Reid asked as he approached the two. He set the extra apple and bottle of juice he'd bought on a side table by a small waiting area in the hall before walking over. He sensed he might need his hands free.

Alexa and Jeremy stopped fighting at that, turning to him. Her look of relief was undeniable while Jeremy looked furious, holding more hatred for this man than ever before.

"This none of your business, dumbass." He cried. "None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you."

"Yeah, I saved a little boy's life." Reid said, shaking his head. "I ought to be ashamed of myself, and all my years of profiling tell me these tendencies of mine are just going to escalate."

Alexa tried to hide her laughter, and Reid looked to her. It was nice having her on his side. Turning back to Jeremy he questioned. "Why are you here? You're not immediate family, and if the mother of a patient doesn't want a person here, security will keep you out. You need to leave now."

"You think you're so damn tough because you have a gun clipped on your pants." He said, taking a threatening step towards him. "You wouldn't be saying any of this if it were just you, and you're not going to get me by surprise like you did John."

"I'm not going to fight you, Jeremy." Reid stated. As he spoke, his voice got steadily louder. "I have a lot more decency than to start a fight in a hospital in the middle of pediatric ward, where any kid here could get hurt. Now, I have a feeling you're not here to see your nephew, so I think you need to leave."

"I'm here to see my bitch of a sister-in-law who not only broke up my marriage, but got my best friend arrested this morning!" He turned to Alexa with a glare, looking like he wanted to hit her. Reid had a feeling if he hadn't shown up when he had, that was exactly what he was escalating to.

Reid was immediately intrigued at John Hillman being arrested, but Alexa spoke up before he could inquire about it. "I didn't break up your marriage, Jeremy. I'm not the one who told Harper to have an abortion. She did it because she got pregnant and was too afraid she'd wind up like me. Those were her exact words. She knew John was abusing me, she knew it got bad right after Meredith was born, and she knew you would have been the exact same way!"

"She had no right to kill my baby." Jeremy glared. At that, he turned to Reid, giving a smile. "You can relate to that, can't you?"

Reid didn't answer to that, changing the subject at once. "What do you mean John got arrested this morning?"

"It means just like it sounds, numb nuts!" He cried. Reid rolled his eyes. He thought after twenty years, they might have acquired a more clever nickname. "The cops came to his house and arrested him, saying he's being charged with raping all these girls! That's ridiculous!"

It took every effort for Reid to suppress a triumphant grin. So Riley wasn't the only girl he'd gotten alone in a hidden space. About time he paid for it, too, no matter how many counts there were.

"Not unbelievable, though." Reid said, tilting his head a bit in fascination. "You're not surprised about this Jeremy, just agitated, and… I believe anxious. Because you know you're an accomplice to those… if not having committed a few yourself. And you know John is probably in an interrogation room right now, pointing a finger at you."

That was incredible. Alexa never would have thought that, but Spencer found it like he was watching an episode of Law and Order, figuring out who the killer really was. As Jeremy backed away in fear, they both knew he was right.

"You're wrong," He glared. "John's my friend, he wouldn't do that."

Reid smiled again. "Yes, perhaps I am. I'm so… often wrong." He was done with Jeremy for now, turning to Alexa. "I was hoping I'd get to see you, how's Peter doing?"

"Much better," She smiled. "Would you like to come in and see him? The kids are already up and I'd love for him to really meet you."

Absolutely he would. Alexa lead him over to her son's room, opening the door. Just before Reid stepped in, he took a glance back at Jeremy, sinking into a chair with worry and terror written all over him. It was wrong to find glory in another person's misery, but considering all the years they did it to him, Reid felt he was a little bit entitled.

Inside the room was even louder than in the hall. Penny and Peter were sitting on the bed, playing with two ratty stuffed animals that seemed to have had better days. Reid wondered when Alexa found time to go home and get those. Meredith was trying to read her book, taking an annoyed glance at her mother as she came in. Spotting Reid, however, her mind immediately came into focus and sat up.

"Hi, Dr. Reid!" She exclaimed, getting to her feet.

"Meredith," Reid called happily. "It's good to see you again."

She rushed over to give him a hug, mostly for a thank you for bringing her family back together. "What are you doing here?"

He felt it best not tell about Riley and the accident. "Just came to see you and your siblings." He said, giving her a smile as they pulled away. She returned it eagerly, and Reid had an epiphany.

When he first saw Meredith, he thought she was nothing like her mother. In truth, she was nothing like the girl he knew in high school, but she was very much like the woman that girl had grown into. Her true self shined through the old exterior, the shield that most teenagers bury themselves under in order to survive. Meredith was one of the exceptions. Her true self had already come through a long time ago, much like Reid's had. It wasn't something a person did by choice, it just happened, and it ensured a very hard adolescence for the person blessed (or cursed) by such a thing. But in the long run, it created a very beautiful human being. Meredith was just like her mother, indeed.

"Kids," Alexa called going over to the bed, grabbing their attention. "Let's quiet down, kids. There's someone here to see you."

Penny and Peter turned to see, eager. Peter suddenly became nervous in the sight of this stranger, sinking down into his sheets. He still looked awfully tired and a little sick, but he appeared to be adjusting well. Penny, however, looked just as cheerful as always, her eyes lighting up as she spotted Dr. Reid.

"Spencer!" She cried, standing on the bed to hurry over to see him.

"Hello, Penny!" He called, wrapping her in a hug as she approached. "How are you?"

"Good!" She exclaimed. "I'm so happy my brother's back."

"I know," He smiled at her, brushing her little cheek with his thumb. "I'm very happy, too. I know you really missed him." The last thing he'd want was for her to endure a life missing her other half.

There was something very mystical about twins, connected to each other in ways that seemed to extend beyond the normal human lifespan. That was probably why Lovejoy was so twisted with misery all these years, feeling like a part of him was lost, forcing him to try and find it. It was one part of the world Reid would never understand, but he was okay with that. There was a time when he wanted to know how every part of life worked, from one end of the universe to the other… but now he knew some things were better left alone. Life wasn't black and white, and it was better without every fact and proven theory laid out before you. Relying on a little bit of faith made life better.

He let Penny go and was surprised when she reached up and kissed his cheek, just like her mother had. "Thank you," She said.

"You're very welcome." He said happily.

"Okay, munchkin," Alexa said, lifting her off the bed. "You go sit with your sister."

Doing as she was told, Penny ran over to the other side of the room. Meredith pulled her sister into her lap. The only person left now was the little boy, still hiding in his fortress of blankets.

"Peter," Alexa said softly. She brushed back his blond hair, pulling his gaze up to her. "I'd like you to meet someone. This is a friend of mine, his name is Spencer Reid… he's the man that saved you last night."

At once, he turned to look up at the man. Reid stepped slowly towards the head of the bed, giving him a kind smile. "Hi, Peter."

"Hi," He mumbled, a little shy.

"How are you feeling?" Reid wondered.

He didn't answer right away, blatantly nervous. He was practically a stranger. "Tired… I don't feel good."

"You'll be all better soon." Reid assured. He reached out to pat his tiny hand, and at that Peter's gaze came up to his, finding those sea green eyes exactly like his mother's. "You were very brave, Peter. Everyone is very proud of you."

"What do you say to Spencer for bringing you home?" Alexa asked. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

Despite his reservations, Peter gave him a smile, "Thank you… I really wanted to go home."

"I'll bet," Reid nodded, "and you are very welcome. I was very happy to find you."

"I helped!" Penny called from across the room.

Laughing, Reid turned to the girls and nodded once again. "Yes, you did Penny. And Meredith helped me too with the photographs. I don't think Peter would have been saved if it hadn't been for both of you." At that, he looked to Alexa. "Or you."

He knew if she hadn't fought so hard over all this time, her son would have been lost until his body was found. Alexa, however wasn't so sure she deserved some of that credit. "I just wanted to find my baby."

Reid knew he had to be going. Riley was waiting for him. She was nervous and 11 am wasn't too far away. "Well, guys, I hate to cut this visit short, but I need to be on my way. I'll try to stop by again before you go home."

"Bye, Spencer!" Penny called, jumping off Meredith to give him another hug. Reid stooped down to return it whole heartedly. When he released her, he stood again, looking over at the little boy.

"Bye, Peter," He said.

He was a little amazed when Peter held his arms out, waiting for his own hug. Walking over, Reid returned it warmly, patting him gently on the back.

Lastly was Meredith, standing up to say her own goodbye. "Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome," Reid said, holding her close. He was three for three as she pulled away, pressing a kiss on his cheek. She gave him an affectionate smile. For one brief second, Reid saw the girl he adored twenty years ago, smiling at him the way he always wished she would.

Alexa walked him out, stepping out with him and letting the door close. "You know my daughter has a crush on you." She smirked as she folded her arms.

A generation later than he wanted; how ironic. "Sorry, my heart's been taken."

"Speaking of which, how's she doing?" She wondered, genuinely concerned.

Solemnly, Reid nodded, the color draining from his face a bit. "Better… as for the baby… we'll know before noon."

Alexa tilted her head in a sympathetic way. "I hope everything works out. You will tell me after you know, won't you?"

"I'll stop by later." Reid nodded. "I'd ask you to come up, but… if things turn out poorly… I don't think Riley will want any visitors."

"I understand." She knew. "Good luck, Spencer."

"Thank you." He replied. He really appreciated the support.

Before she let him walk away, Alexa pulled him into an embrace. "Thank you so much," She whispered, not wanting to let Jeremy hear. "I know I said I just wanted to know what happened to my son, but… my life would have been over. I love my daughters, but a part would always have been gone. You didn't just save my son, you saved me… I could never repay you for that."

"Yes you can," Reid said as he pulled away. He gave her a powerful look that told her he was completely serious, and would genuinely be angry if she didn't heed to his word. "What happened wasn't your fault, but it did happen as a result of the life you had. What you're doing is not living… your managing and that's not fair to you or your children. Alexa, you deserve to be happy. So you have to promise me you will make things better for your family, so all of you can have a real life."

Agent Hotchner had told her those things, but she didn't want to let herself believe them for fear she was only acting on some strange attraction and feelings. Reid, however, was completely platonic to her, and he was someone she'd known for a very long time. Besides, he was very smart and seemed to be a very loving husband, and hopefully soon, a loving father. He was someone she should listen to, definitely.

"I did tell John I want a divorce." She informed. "Now that he's going to jail, I think things will be a lot better for us."

"But is that all you want?" He wondered. "It seems like you're just moving from one meaningless situation to another. You should do something that's good for all of you."

"Like what?" She questioned with a shrug.

With that, he gave a significant smile. "That's for you to figure out."

He was right, and that's what scared her. Her whole life was based on the command of a man. First, her overbearing, abusive father and then her husband. Everything was up to her now, and not only that, but she had three children who relied on her. She had to make the right decision, all four livelihoods depended on it.

"I will." She answered. "I promise, I'll do the right thing."

"Good," He replied, and with that reached into his pocket. He extracted a business card, handing it to her. "If you need anything… don't hesitate to call. This time, I'll be happy to help you."

She laughed lightly. "Thanks… good luck today."

With that, she headed back inside. Reid was alone, Jeremy still sitting solemnly in his chair, staring at the floor, obviously nervous.

Going over, her reclaimed the apple and juice he left behind. "Are you waiting for me to leave so you can attack her again?"

"Get over yourself," Jeremy said, standing up. "I don't give a flying crap about her."

"If you want my advice, which I suspect you don't, but I'm going to give it to you anyway, you should turn yourself in." Reid said, knowing exactly why the older man was so nervous. "John may not be talking yet, and whoever confesses first gets the deal."

"Why should I take your advice? You hate me!" He cried, disgusted this man he still saw as the little shrimp was talking to him.

"Jeremy," Reid said with a smirk. "I hate you both, equally. And it's no matter to me if you confess, the cops will catch you eventually… I'll make sure of it. Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife is waiting for me."

Jeremy snorted. "You act like your so much better than me, yet your own wife doesn't even want your baby!"

"You're a little off. It's not my baby she doesn't want, she doesn't want me to have her baby. She has her own problems, but unlike you, I actually care about my wife and how she's feeling. We will work through this, unlike you and Harper. Frankly, a divorce might be a good thing. I think you both can do better."

He caught a glimpse of Jeremy's glare and went to walk off. Reid stopped after a step. He knew he shouldn't, it was like pouring salt in a wound… but he couldn't resist.

"Oh, and Jeremy," He smirked turning back around. Reid stepped close enough, getting just a little too close to the man's face. "Not that it's any of your business, but contrary to your belief, when it comes to me and my wife in the bedroom… I rock her world. Every time."

The disgusted, loathsome look on his face shouldn't have made Reid so happy… but it did. Without another word, Reid continued on his way through the hospital, a little extra spring in his step.

* * *

><p>"You're overreacting!" Riley cried, trying not to laugh. He was so adorable when he got frazzled like this.<p>

"I just can't believe you talk to them about this stuff." He grumbled, digging through his cup of Jell-0, which Riley didn't want to eat. She knew how much he liked it anyway.

"Spencer," She began. "JJ and Garcia and Emily are my girlfriends, we tell each other everything. We talk about the men in our lives. Emily brags about Morgan, you think I don't want to brag about you? Especially since there's so much to brag about."

He blushed at that, smiling. "Okay, well, Emily's told Morgan about things we've done, how come you never told me about their stuff?"

Riley shrugged, "Because I know you wouldn't want to know."

She had a point, "Still though, I feel so self-conscious now, knowing my closest friends know about our… fantasies and the intimate stuff we… do together."

"Firstly, the really personal stuff I keep to myself." She assured with a smile. "Stuff I know you'd get teased for… like… a certain French accent you like me to use."

He felt his face turn hot and red at that. Thank goodness she kept that to herself. He cringed at the thought of Morgan's ridicule. Riley chortled with satisfaction and took a sip of her juice before she continued. "Secondly, you do the same thing. You guys talk about stuff like that all the time with each other."

"That's different," Reid argued. "That's like… who dated the Greek Ambassador or who had sex in Strauss's bedroom during one of her dinner parties."

Riley couldn't help but snort, "Were both of those Rossi's?"

"Yeah," Reid grinned, giving a nod.

They both laughed at that. Reid dug more through his dessert, but stopped as Riley reached over to take his hand. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you, it was never my intention… but I'm not going to apologize for talking about this stuff to my friends. I was boasting about you, not teasing in the least. Spencer, I love you so much." She squeezed his hand, bringing his gaze to her. God, he loved those rich brown eyes. He could never be mad at her when he stared into them. "You make me feel so special, when you hold me and kiss me, when you look at me… like the way you're looking at me right now." He blushed again, unable to take his eyes off her, "and especially when you make love to me. You're so gentle and tender, and oh, so passionate. You can't blame me because I want everyone else in my life to know that."

His mouth gave a twitch of a smile, not wanting to let her win this one. "If you keep telling them about the fantasies we act out, I'm going to stop doing them."

"Fair enough." She answered, leaning back on her pillows. "And if I do tell them, I'll make sure they never let you know."

Reid opened his mouth to retaliate, but at that moment, the door opened. Dr. Tucker was coming in, a young man behind her wheeling in a large piece of equipment. The ultrasound machine.

Riley became instantly ashen. Her smile was gone and her breathing became slightly labored, already looking like she was about to cry. Reid was just as worried, but he hid his fear well, setting his treat aside and sat up.

"Sorry we're late." Dr. Tucker said kindly. "The emergency room was a bit of a madhouse, I couldn't get a tech up here until now. I know you must be climbing the walls."

"Just a tad," Riley murmured.

As scared as he was, Reid knew he had to be the calm one right now. If she broke down, she needed him to be strong… he could let himself fall apart later.

The tech took a few minutes, getting everything set up for the ultrasound. Sitting up, he inched closer to Riley, taking her hand. "Listen to me," He said. He wouldn't say another word until she looked at him. Reid gave her a very confident smile, amazed he could muster this much courage when inside he felt like a fearful kitten. Then again, that's what courage was. Moving forward like it didn't matter.

"No matter what happens, we're in this together." Reid assured. His other hand came up to sandwich hers, showing his full support. "I love you and I will always be here, right by your side. I want so much for this baby to be alright, but if not… then that's okay. We still have each other. We'll get through this because together, we can do anything. We've survived so much; we'll survive this, too."

As scared as she was, Riley gave a smile. Tears were already forming in her eyes, but she reached over and kissed him quick, her other hand brushing his cheek. "Thank you… I love you, too."

"Okay, we're all ready here." The tech said happily. Riley adjusted herself on the bed while Dr. Tucker pulled the covers away. She helped lift up her gown. Riley felt a little mortified, laying here with her panties exposed in front of two people who weren't her husband. Reid tried not to chuckle at that, she looked so cute when she was insecure. Then again, he wasn't sure there was a time he looked at her and she didn't look cute.

The tech grabbed a bottled and squirted a generous amount of blue gel on her stomach. Dr. Tucker watched, stepping forward as she explained. "Now, you understand there are no guarantees in medicine, something can always go wrong. But, as long as we can locate a heartbeat, we have every reason to predict you'll have a perfectly healthy baby in seven months."

"We know," Reid answered. Riley seemed too worried to speak, giving a subtle nod. Still clutching her hand, he brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles. She looked over at that, trying to smile, but the worry and threat of tears was making it too hard.

Everything ready now, the technician grabbed the transducer, placing it on Riley's stomach. It slid over the gel, smearing it along her stomach in its search. Reid and Riley could only wait.

It was no surprise within a few minutes, they were both sobbing in each other's arms, unable to believe this had really happened.

* * *

><p>The next morning, the elevator rode up to the sixth floor. Morgan and Emily were alone, but stood a distance apart, heading up to the unit. Emily had a very sour expression on her face, shooting glares at her boyfriend.<p>

"You keep making that face, it's going to stick that way." Morgan teased.

"Don't even start," She glumly said. "You're supposed to be in bed."

"You just can't get enough of me, can you, Princess?" He asked, shooting her a satisfied grin.

"I'm serious!" Emily exclaimed, turning to him. "Derek, you had surgery not even two days ago, your body needs rest-"

He shushed her as he turned to her, putting his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. "Hey… Emily, I'm fine. I know I need to take it easy. I promise, for the rest of the week, you are in charge, I will do whatever you say. I just need to get a few things, I have some reports I need to finish, and I need to get ready for a trial at the end of the month. It's just a stop, I promise, we'll be home by noon."

Somehow, she didn't quite believe him. They'd start talking with their friends and hanging out in the break room, lose track of time until someone noticed it was time to call it a day and then they'd head out to dinner or the bar. And that was the best case scenario.

"Fine," She answered, giving him a serious stare. "But if you start to look sick or JJ comes in with a case, no, we are out of there."

He leaned down with a smile, his lips nudging hers as he replied. "Yes, ma'am."

They kissed and Emily felt her worry ease up a little. She kissed him back tenderly, her hand cupped his cheek, brushing on his skin. He was cool to the touch now. No fever; a little pain in his stomach, but that was normal. Everything was going to be okay, and Emily intended to stay by his side as much as possible until he was fully healed. It was the least she could do, considering she couldn't tell him the truth.

The elevator arrived just as their kiss ended. They pulled apart quickly, heading into the unit. It was calm for Wednesday, the substitute team on call for the week. Unless there was a serious emergency, they'd remain in town, offering minor assistance and basic profiles over the phone.

Morgan went to his desk and Emily decided she might as well bring her In Box home as well. It would be the leaning tower of folders by the time she came back in, might as well get a jump on it. The two remained discreet as always, keeping a distance when they walked together and avoiding eye contact unless they really had something to say. Even now, as they rifled through their desks, they barely acknowledged one another. Little did anyone know in a few hours, they'd be in the safety of Morgan's apartment. He would be resting in bed while Emily took care of him. She had a surprise for him later that afternoon, involving some well scented oils and a sponge bath. Something sure to drive him crazy until he was cleared for strenuous activity again.

"Oh, good, I thought you guys were here!" JJ exclaimed as she hurried into the bull pen. The woman looked exasperated, like she'd been rushing around all morning, trying to clean up some mess. "We have a problem."

Emily didn't know what to say. She hated to deny her friend, but she couldn't risk Morgan getting sick, his body was fragile right now. "Uh, Jay… I'm sorry, but we're just stopping by. Morgan really can't work on any cases."

"It has nothing to do with the case… I think the team might be in trouble. We don't know what to do!" She exclaimed, looking at them both for help.

Looking to Morgan, she could see he was just as worried as Emily. Neither could help but think they had something to do with this, like someone had found out about their little relationship. Or something else, like someone found out about Dr. Riley Parker's romance with her patient and now she and Reid were under investigation. Or maybe it was something completely random they'd never been expecting. Either way, they felt obligated to help.

"What's going on?" Emily asked as she stood up.

"Not here," JJ shook her head. "We need to speak in private, in Garcia's office. Come on."

They both agreed. Trying not to rush, the group of three casually stepped out of the unit, down the hall to that of Garcia's lair. The door stood open in wait for them. Emily and Morgan couldn't even look at each other as they stepped in, too terrified to think what was about to happen.

Once all three were safely inside, the door seemed to shut on its own. "Alright!" Garcia exclaimed as she turned the lock. "The time has come, my little chickadees. Time to face the music and come clean about what's going on between you two."

"I thought you said the team was in trouble." Morgan cried, a little annoyed he'd just been manipulated.

"It is," JJ said, folding her arms over her chest. "We, Garcia and I, feel very betrayed. We were under the impression we were all friends here and, in truth, the two of you have been together for who knows how long. I'm sure Reid knows, but he's not here, so you two better come clean about all of this, or we're going to Hotch."

"Hey!" Morgan cried. "We didn't keep you out of the loop because we wanted to be cruel. We did it because we had to! We couldn't risk everyone knowing, it was better to keep this secret. Reid and Riley wouldn't even know if they hadn't walked in on us that one morning."

"Okay," JJ announced, glancing at Garcia who had just moved to stand beside her, before the couple. "Maybe we're coming on a little too strong here. Let's just start from the beginning… you guys are dating, correct?"

"Yes," Emily stated at once. "We've been a couple for… about a year and a half now."

"But you said you've been together longer than that." Garcia argued.

Morgan began to explain. "We didn't plan this… to be honest, we never even realized we liked each other until the night of Reid's funeral… our first night together."

"We were grieving," Emily explained. "Reid was gone and we just didn't know how to process it. Our first time was just trying to feel alive again… and then a week or two later, after we knew Reid was okay, we decided it wasn't fair. We didn't get to really enjoy that night so we… did it again."

"And then the second night turned into a third and then… a door had been opened we could never close. It became a regular thing." Morgan finished. "That's how it was for a year."

Both girls were intrigued by this tale. A love story that had been unraveling right under their noses. "What happened next?"

Morgan gave Emily a smile, "We got kind of stupid and… scared… we nearly ended everything."

"I almost transferred because I couldn't admit how I felt about him." Emily blushed. "I never realized he felt the same way."

"We both wanted something more, so… we decided to make it serious. We decided to…" He grinned at Emily, "how did you put it? Go steady?"

She nudged him in his ribs, unable to stop her chuckling. Morgan laughed, turning to the girls. "Like we said, the only reason Reid and Riley know is because they saw us kissing one morning in the hallway when we were in London. We're sorry we didn't tell you. Yeah, maybe we should have told you when we got serious, but we really just wanted it to be about us… not have to worry about getting so many people involved."

"And I think it was the right decision!" Emily argued. "I wanted to tell you girls so much, I did, but I had to put us, first." She said, indicating both her and Morgan. "And this isn't just something foolish, we're not together just to avoid being alone… we love each other."

Garcia and JJ were stunned by that, but none more than Morgan. Emily hadn't really meant to say it, but there it was, out in the open. No going back.

Turning to her, Morgan asked, his eyes bright and shining. "Do we?"

"Yes," Emily answered, turning to him. If she didn't say it now, she never word. With every bit of courage she had in her body, she said a very breathless, "I love you, Derek Morgan."

His heart pounded against his chest like he'd just done the academy obstacle course in twenty times. It probably wasn't healthy for a man who recently underwent surgery, but right now he didn't care. He felt like he could fly.

Sweeping her into his arms, he pulled her close, saying softly, "I love you, Emily Prentiss," and with that, brought her into a very passionate kiss.

Garcia looked like she needed a tissue, on the verge of tears. JJ was in awe of this, never expecting she'd not only see her two friends kissing like two people in some classic romantic movie, but also in love.

As the kiss ended, Emily fell in Morgan's embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. She couldn't understand why it had been so hard to say that. Now that she had, she never wanted to stop.

"This is so beautiful!" Garcia squeaked, wiping the tears from under her glasses.

JJ had to agree. "I thought you guys were just messing around… I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in love."

Still holding her close, Morgan kissed the top of her raven hair. "It's true. I know it's a lot to ask, but… we need you to keep this secret. We know this can't last forever, but neither of us are ready to give up our jobs. We like the way things are now. Promise us you won't tell."

Emily picked her head up to see both her friends glance at each other, a secret between them. She had a feeling that threat earlier had been a bluff, and were just trying to get the truth out of them.

"Like we'd tell." JJ smiled, giving a roll of her eyes. "You're secret's safe."

"And we're really happy for you guys!" Garcia exclaimed. "You guys seem very happy together."

Emily smiled, looking up at her love. "I can't speak for Morgan, but I'm happy… I've never been so happy in my life."

"Right back at you, Prentiss." He grinned, meeting her in another kiss.

The girls awed at that, unable to deny how cute they were. They looked like two teenagers, without a care in the world. There were times it seemed like Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss were incapable of real love, never letting anyone past the hard defenses to see their true selves, but now they knew that wasn't true. They weren't incapable to love, just unable to love anyone but each other.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, the team had nothing to do but wait. Sure, they could have been finishing reports from their last few cases, arranging profiles a few cities had requested for, but right now none of that mattered. Morgan and Emily refused to leave, even though they knew there was no legitimate reason to stay. All they could think about was their friends and how their lives had changed yesterday. Baby or not, their lives would never be the same again.<p>

"You're sure they're coming back today?" Morgan questioned, looking to JJ. He and the girls were waiting in the bull pen. Any minute now.

"Reid texted me this morning; he said they were flying back this afternoon." She explained. "He promised they were going to stop in before the end of the day."

"And that's all he said!" Morgan exclaimed. "There wasn't anything else?"

"Derek!" Emily hissed. He should have gone home hours ago, but he refused to leave until Reid and Riley got there. She didn't like him being on his feet so much, knowing he could easily get an infection if he didn't relax. "Please calm down, you're going to tear your stitches."

JJ pursed her lips. "Do you really think I'd keep something like that from you? I've sent so many texts and called at least ten times, he's not responding."

"Hotch and I have both tried contacting Riley." Emily answered, holding onto her phone. "I don't know if he's gotten any results, but she's certainly not talking to me."

"I can't believe this!" Garcia moaned, leaning on her hand as she sat in Emily's chair. "Don't they realize how worried we are? How could they do this?"

Morgan and Emily couldn't agree more. JJ had been thinking the same thing for the last two days, and that broke her heart. Because Reid didn't just ignore his friends like this… not when he knew they were so worried about him. He at least cared enough to tell him everything was okay… unless it wasn't.

JJ stood up from leaning on Morgan's desk. Emily was leaning against her own while Morgan kept pacing up and down the aisle. Waiting was an extraordinary experience. It could be such a wonderful thing when you're expecting something good… and devastatingly crippling when expecting something bad. Right now, it was almost unbearable.

"Guys," She said gravely. "Look, we all know Reid. He wouldn't just forget to tell us how things turned out. Neither he nor Riley are selfish like that. I know we don't want to admit it, but we have to face the truth. If we haven't heard from them, we know the reason… Riley lost the baby."

All of them had been thinking it, but none of them wanted to admit it was true. Saying it out loud like this made it too difficult to ignore. They all had to accept it.

Garcia gave a light sob. "Reid must be devastated."

"Riley, too." Emily nodded. Morgan came over and put his arm around her. She leaned on him comfortingly, not caring who saw.

"It doesn't matter." Morgan informed. "They just need to know we're here for them. We'll help them get through this… and they'll be better than ever."

They were so despondent; they didn't realize two people snuck up on them. "Hey," Reid called as he approached. Riley was beside him, clutching his hand. "What's… going on?"

All four turned to the couple, surprised to finally see them there. "Where the hell have you been?" Morgan demanded.

"Sorry, we're late." Reid said casually. "Our flight had some engine trouble, we had a delay while they brought in another plane. We probably should have called."

None of them were fooled. They knew their reason for not calling was on purpose, but right now it didn't matter. Neither one had a tell about them, having no idea whether they came with good or bad news. For once, their profiling skills failed them.

"So?" Emily asked, glancing between them, desperate to know. "What happened?"

"Uh… I think just an electrical problem." Reid said, turning to Riley. She nodded in agreement. "They wouldn't tell us much. Commercial flights always make me miss the jet, I assure you."

"We don't mean the plane, smartass!" Morgan cried. "What's going on? What happened with the baby?"

"Oh, the baby," Riley muttered, looking to Reid. She neither smiled nor cried. In fact, she almost seemed numb. "That's right… they do want to know what happened, huh?"

Reid nodded silently. For a moment, it seemed he was about to answer, but stopped as he looked through the cluster of desks, landing on his own.

Curious, he cocked his head as he stared at it. "Did you guys mess with my desk?"

All four of them were stunned. They had no idea why he'd be focused on something so mundane at a time like this. Perhaps everything had gotten to Reid and he snapped, Riley going on as his enabler.

"What are you talking about?" Garcia questioned. "No one touched anything on your desk, Reid."

Stepping over, Reid stared at the pile of papers and books on it, his hand cupping his chin as he stared at it significantly. "No… something's definitely wrong. Something's missing… and if you guys didn't take it… then what is it?"

JJ was getting worried. Taking a cautionary step closer, she watched her friend for some kind of tell. "Are you okay, Spence? You can tell us what happened. We'll help you through it, but first you have to face it. Both of you."

She looked to Riley, but her focus was on her husband. "Did you figure it out yet?" She asked, as if she hadn't heard JJ.

"No," He shook his head, still staring at the mess. The others were starting to get scared, wondering if they should run to Hotch for help. At last, the genius smiled and snapped his fingers. "Wait! I know what it is!"

With that, he reached into his shoulder bag, searching for a minute. In a matter of seconds, he removed a small redwood frame, setting on his desk next to the photo of he and Riley on their wedding day, in perfect vision from where he would sit, which remained out of sight from the others. Taking a step back, he smiled. "That's it, that's perfect."

This was much too odd. Morgan had to know what this was, brushing Emily's shoulder as he stepped away from her, going over to his friend's side to see. As soon as he spotted it, he rolled his eyes and gave Reid a forceful, but spirited punch in the arm. "You lying little bastard!"

"What?" Emily cried. "What is it?"

Smiling, Morgan grabbed the new frame and turned it around for the girls to see. "It's a sonogram!"

All the girls screamed with delight at that. Reid was laughing now, thrilled he'd gotten a fast one past his friends, who had so often teased and tricked him over the years. They were just as happy to see Riley was smiling and giggling a bit, too, obviously in on the joke.

"You were supposed to tell us when you found out!" JJ cried as she pulled Reid into a hug.

"I'm sorry," He said as he held her. He hadn't realized until now how happy he was to be home, back with his friends and his regular life. "I know you guys were worried, but we really wanted to tell you in person."

"So the baby's okay?" Garcia asked, looking between the couple.

Riley nodded, "Yes, the baby's just fine. The ultrasound showed everything's developing normally, the placenta and the cord are perfectly attached and intact." Tears were filling her eyes as she finished. "And the heart beat is steady and strong."

"Sweetie, that's so great!" Emily cried, pulling her into her arms. Riley clutched to her, her passive way of saying how much she needed this support.

"We're so glad everything's working out." Garcia added, getting her turn next to hug the expectant mother.

"And everything's okay… between you guys?" Morgan asked. "I mean… not to embarrass you or anything, but we know this was creating a bit of friction."

"We worked everything out." Reid explained. He maneuvered past his friends to get to Riley's side. He put his arm around her. "It was a little bumpy, as you guys saw, but we worked it out. We're going to be family now. We're both happy about that."

"Very happy, and I'm sorry about the way I've acted over the last few days." Riley said, looking at each of the girls respectively. "You guys were really there for me and I just kept pushing you away. I always do that and I don't mean to… I'd understand if you hate me now."

"That's one good thing about this family, Riley." JJ said. "No matter what you do, we're always here for you."

And that was the truth, Reid knew. Giving Riley a loving squeeze, he turned to his friends, clearing his throat to speak clearly.

"Listen, guys," He said, to the team, not really sure how to put how he was feeling into words. "I just want to say thank you, for everything you did this weekend."

"Come on, Reid," Garcia shook her head. "We didn't do anything special."

"It really bothers me that you think that." He replied. Nervously, his hands slipped into his pockets, barely able to keep eye contact. "I never would have gotten through this without all of you… you stuck by my side and… no matter what any of them said, you guys were there for me. You didn't judge me, you didn't ridicule me… it's times like this you really see who your friends are. I can't thank you guys enough for that."

His voice faltered a bit, finding strength from Riley's hand on his arm. In response, JJ gave a friendly smile, "Spence, we are always going to be here for you. Just like we know you're always there for us… and you have been."

"Yeah, you don't need to thank us for something like that." Morgan shook his head. "That's what friends do. We didn't choose each other, we were different people with different histories who were alone. We didn't even know it until we found each other. You need us the same way we need you."

"And we'll always be there for you." Emily smiled, to both him and Riley. "Something tells me you both are going to need us a lot over the upcoming months, but that's what we're here for. We're more than friends, we're a family Not a lot of people get a second chance at a family. We might not be blood, but I think that makes it even better."

She was right, they all were. Reid felt his face was warm and gave a nervous chuckle, feeling rather self-conscious at the moment. Looking behind him, he found Riley's comforting eyes and felt much calmer. It was then he realized he was wrong. For so many years, he'd dreamed of having a real family, but… in truth, his family had started a long time ago. And as of today, they were adding to it.

Things in the past didn't matter. It wasn't important where he came from or what the others thought of him, especially those who were in no way a part of his life. The only thing that mattered was the now, the people who made up his life today. The ones who would always be there.

* * *

><p>AN: There's still another chapter to go, so stay tuned! :)


	38. Safe and Sound

Riley was sitting in the break room. She was drinking a glass of apple juice, watching something on a small screen. Spencer was finishing up a few loose ends before they went home. He didn't like the idea of her going back to work tomorrow, but she made a promise to her colleague she'd take his patients. She wouldn't go back on her word.

She didn't notice at first when the other girls entered the room. "I was wondering where my phone went." JJ called as they approached the table.

Looking up, Riley gave a guilty shrug. "Sorry," she said, handing her back the phone. "I was just… watching that movie again… with me and Joey at his birthday."

"Oh," Garcia exclaimed, watching the end of the movie, seeing Joey nestle his little body against Riley's arm, his pacifier sticking out of his mouth. "This is so cute."

Emily brushed Riley's arm affectionately, sitting in the chair beside her. "So how are you feeling?"

"Nauseas." She answered, lifting up her juice. "Apples seem to be the only thing that helps… other than that, though." She gave a small smile. "I think I'm doing okay."

"Really, Sweetie?" Garcia wondered.

Nodding, "Yeah… things look a lot brighter than they did a few days ago. I mean… don't get my wrong, I'm still terrified… I want to be a good mother, and I'm going to try my best to… but what if my best isn't good enough?"

JJ, seated on Riley's other side, leaned forward. She might not have much confidence, but they did. There was strength in numbers. "You don't have to worry… believe it or not, I had these same fears, too. It's perfectly natural, especially with everything you've been through. It's going to be okay."

"I hope you're right." Riley sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I want this baby, I do… I've wanted it from the very beginning. I just don't want to make a mistake."

Emily cried, "Riley, you are going to make mistakes. No parent is perfect. You just have to do what you think is right and above all, love your child and make sure he knows it."

"And it's not like you're going through this alone." Garcia added cheerfully. "You have Spencer. He loves you and you love him. It's disgusting how happy you two are together. And because of that, you made a baby. I don't think there is a greater life than one made purely out of love. I'm pretty sure most people would agree with me."

"I would." Emily chimed in.

"Me, too." JJ nodded. "And besides… there is something else you have in this."

"What?" Riley asked, choking back tears.

Brushing a loose curl behind her ear, JJ brought her gaze to her, giving her a smile and told her the exact same thing she told this woman's husband a few nights ago. "You have us. We are here for you, every step of the way. We're not going to let anything happen to you, we promise."

She couldn't have kept from crying if she tried, and she was much too emotionally exhausted right now to try. Tears swarming out, she nodded, "Thank you… I can't describe what that means to me."

JJ put an arm around her, squeezing her gently. Emily tenderly caressed her back and Garcia reached over to squeeze her hand.

"Don't worry, Mama Bear, we are here for you." Garcia gave her a bright smile. "JJ is a pro at this, you couldn't be in better hands, and me and Emily are ready for whatever you need. We may or may not be already planning a baby shower."

Riley laughed through her tears, wiping her eyes. "A baby shower? Guys, I'm only nine weeks along."

"You think this bad? Wait until the baby comes, she's going to spoil it rotten." JJ said with a roll of her eyes. "Don't worry, though, I've got plenty of baby clothes. Boys and girls wear about the same things in the first few months. Plus, I've got lots of maternity stuff you might want to rifle through, see if there's anything you like."

Riley took a deep breath, thinking of the next seven to eight months to come. She had her friends, who truly cared about her. It didn't feel so overwhelming now. Maybe they were right. Maybe everything was going to be just fine.

* * *

><p>While the others were waiting outside, Hotch was trying to force himself into work. He wasn't worried about Riley. Not wanting him to worry, she called him yesterday to tell him the news, making him promise he wouldn't tell anyone but Rossi, who he filled in before he took his early leave that afternoon. Right now, his mind was preoccupied, unable to focus on reports and their upcoming evaluations. It seemed while his body was here in DC, his mind was still in Vegas… no matter what he did, he couldn't stop thinking about her.<p>

However, he had to, Hotch knew that. He hadn't told anyone about the kiss, not even Rossi, though he had questioned him on the entire flight home if anything progressed. No, Hotch kept that moment for himself. That kiss had been wonderful and he had wanted more than anything to share many more with her, but it had been wrong. Walking away was the smart decision. They had a lifetime to forget each other. He wouldn't be surprised if he was already just a fading memory to her.

He'd stopped working some time ago, just staring off into space. He'd never felt so miserable. Even the day he was served with divorce papers, when he knew his marriage was coming to an end. It was unreal he should miss Alexa more after only knowing her a few days then when he lost Hayley for a lifetime.

A knock on the door startled him and he sat up. He knew who it was right away by the knock. Trying to look busy, "Come in."

The door opened and sure enough, Reid stepped in. "Hey, uh Emily said you had the coroner findings from the Birmingham case. I need those to finish my reports."

"Oh," Hotch said, going through his mounds of work to find what he was asking for. Reid came in, the door closing securely behind him. Hotch handed him the packets of information. "Here, but I need them back."

"Just give me a minute, I won't even need to take them." Reid said, grabbing them. He sat down and began to read, flying through each page like he were enjoying a child's picture book. It really was fascinating to watch sometimes. Like the others, Hotch was so used to it, he barely noticed it anymore.

Fifteen minutes later he finished, handing them back. "I'll have those reports turned in by morning."

"No rush, Reid." Hotch shook his head. "We won't even be going out of town until Monday. How's Riley doing?"

"Good," Reid nodded with a smile. "I think she's feeling a lot better about this. The whole way home we started making plans… deciding where we're going to live and what we need to buy for the baby."

"A lot of things she'll get at her baby shower, so it's important to register." Hotch explained. "Also, it's never too soon to start buying nonperishables. Diapers, wipes, you can never stock up too much on that stuff."

"I appreciate the advice." Reid said with gratitude. "Anything else you can tell me… one father to another?"

It was weird to think about Reid as a father. He supposed he'd get used, just like the other quirks about him that they'd grown to love. "I've got tons to tell you and you'll hear it all as the months go by."

Reid looked forward to that. He took a glance out the window, seeing Riley in the break room. She was talking and laughing with the other girls, sipping juice while everyone around her was drinking coffee. He knew that had to be rough on her, but she was standing strong.

Hotch could see where his attention landed. He was genuinely proud of both of them. He knew they were going to make great parents, no matter what either one thought. "Are you worried?"

"I'm terrified." Reid answered, looking to Hotch, "but I'm so happy. I never thought I'd want a child before her. Now my biggest dream is for us to have a family. I can't believe it's finally happening."

"I don't mean about the baby, I mean about her." He explained. "Do you think she'll panic about this again?"

"I'm sure we've got months of panic attacks coming." Reid agreed, not in the least bit bothered by that. "We'll get through it… she'll calm down as the pregnancy goes on… and when that baby comes, I know she'll be a great mother. She's just got to wait and see."

Hotch completely agreed. "She's worried she'll turn into her parents, but she doesn't have to. She's a better person than that."

Reid looked out the window again, watching his beautiful wife. JJ was relying some story to her and the others, probably some tale from one her two pregnancies. Riley listened intently, pushing back some of her wild hair, which lay loose around her. She was so beautiful… they were going to have a such a beautiful baby, all because of her.

"It's too late," Reid shook his head in response. "She's already turned into her father."

Shocked, Hotch's stared at him like he'd referred to her with some derogatory insult. He couldn't believe he just said that. Immediately, Hotch spoke up to defend her, "You've never been so wrong, Reid. You didn't even know him, you can't make the comparison."

"On the contrary, I know him very well." Reid corrected. "The similarities are unmistakable… they both went to Harvard. They both work for the FBI. They're both unbelievably stubborn, never comfortable expressing their emotions, except to a rare few. But they love the people in their lives unconditionally and would do anything for them." With that, he turned to his unit chief with a smile. "She's exactly like her father."

Hotch never really thought of it like that. He did think of Riley as a daughter, but he never believed she considered their relationship in the same way. It was true, though. There was a lot about Hotch that was reflected in Riley… but that was just coincidence, wasn't it?

"Hotch, you have been the only true father she's ever known." Reid stated. "She needed you the same way I needed Gideon when I was young. All these years, you've looked out for her, you've cared for her, you even gave her away at our wedding. She is just like you and if Riley turns into half the parent to her blood child that you have been for her… our baby is going to have a life full of love."

He didn't know what to say. Just like Reid had said, he wasn't comfortable with his emotions. "Thank you, Reid."

Reid wouldn't ruin the moment by embarrassing him. Standing up, he quickly excused himself. "I'd better get her home, she needs rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night." He replied. Reid stepped out the door, closing it behind him. Hotch was alone again.

Perhaps it was time for him to call it a day, too. Hotch could finish all this tomorrow, he was too distracted to do anything else tonight. Beginning to gather his things, he started to get ready to go home. At least this weekend he had Jack. He had that to look forward to.

As he started packing up his bag, the phone on his desk began to ring. Oh no, he prayed that wasn't Strauss calling him with an emergency. To assemble the team and be ready to leave in 30 minutes. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself as he picked up the receiver. "Agent Hotchner."

A silence followed on the other end, but he could hear someone breathing. It took a moment, but a timid voice respond. "Uh, hello… I hope I'm not disturbing you."

It couldn't be. Needing to be sure, he asked, "Mrs. Hillman?"

"Yes," She replied. Her voice was so jittery, her nerves a bit on edge. "I thought I might just get your voicemail, it's nearly five on the East, I think, but… I wanted to speak with you."

He questioned at once. "Is something wrong? Are your children alright?"

"Oh yes, everyone's fine." She answered. "My babies are all in one room, thank God. Peter's going home on Friday… and everything will be just as it should be."

"That's good, I'm very happy for you." He responded. Was there anything else? He hoped so, he didn't want to hang up the phone yet. Now that he had her, he wasn't ready to let her go again. "How's the rest of your family?"

"Funny you should mention that." She answered. "It's interesting, my husband was arrested the other day. Multiple charges of rape and assault… and it seems my brother-in-law is being charged as his accomplice. As you may have guessed, John hasn't been around much this week."

"I see," was all he could think to say. Immediately, he feared she had called to blame him. That his interference ruined her family. That she was satisfied with the way things were and he had no right to butt in. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't know how to explain. All he could tell her was a simple, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Alexa answered. "He got what he deserved. We needed to get away from him anyway, and I'm not sure a divorce would have given us that."

Hotch wanted to help her in any way that he could. Smiling, he asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

Her response was, "Better than. Now me and my children are free to have a real life. The future is looking very bright for us. I've already decided I'm going to finish college, I had to drop out when I got pregnant with Meredith, but I'll get my diploma and go to nursing school."

"That sounds wonderful," Hotch agreed. "Nursing is a very dignified career, I think you'll excel at it."

"It's something I always wanted to do." She explained. "I've also decided… Vegas doesn't seem like the best place for us anymore. I think we need a change of scenery. An old friend of mine lives in Philadelphia, she's going to put us up for a while until I can afford my own place. The kids are really looking forward to it."

"Really?" Hotch muttered, delighted. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but he felt like all the signs were telling him to go for it. If he didn't say something now, he was going to regret it for the rest of his life.

"You know," he began, swallowing nervously. "Philadelphia's only about 3 hours away from DC."

There was a pause on the other end. Hotch waited with his chest pounding so hard it hurt. What if he'd been too forward?

"Is that a fact?" She asked. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Well… I'll have to remember that, Agent Hotchner."

He cleared his throat apprehensively before saying "Aaron."

She repeated sweetly, "Aaron."

* * *

><p>That evening, Reid was driving home from the grocery store. There was construction on his usual route, forcing him to take another way. It took about four minutes and 27 seconds longer, but it was a nice evening. Warm, the evening sun glistening in the thick leaves of the trees. He was in JJ's neighborhood, only a few blocks away. Reid was mindful to drive slow, watching for all the kids running around the neighborhood; boys playing basketball, girls playing hopscotch and jump rope, and so many racing on bikes. It seemed like such a lovely place to live, and raise a family. He couldn't help but hope there was a little house in a neighborhood like this nearby, waiting for a new family like them to move in. That might be too much to hope for.<p>

He stopped at the intersection, not far from JJ's house. On the block diagonal from him, he spotted that large white Victorian looking house Riley always admired when they drove through here. The one with big red door. She was right, it was like a dollhouse… it seemed like a perfect little home, the kind of home Reid wanted to give to his wife and child.

For a moment, he thought it was his imagination. Just wishful thinking, a trick of the light, the desire to give his new family everything. Staring for a moment, he realized it wasn't some mirage or a trick of the failing light… there was a sign hammered on that lawn. For Sale.

He sat at that stop sign for several minutes, just staring at the sign. It seemed too good to be true. After all, life wasn't that easy. You didn't get everything you wanted.

Then again, considering how old they were, Reid and Riley hadn't known each other that long. For a long time, nothing about their lives was easy. Maybe it was time they got something they deserved. And even if they didn't, it was worth a shot.

Pulling through the intersection, Reid took a quick glance at the sign, getting the name of the relator and the exact address of the place. According to the hours, they were still open for the day. Driving down the block, he found a spot at the other end. Pulling over for safety, Reid stopped the car and quickly pulled out his cell phone.

* * *

><p>Emily made him go straight to bed when they got home. At the time he didn't feel bad at all, but once he got into his sweats and laid down to rest, the stress of the day was taking its toll on him. He felt tired and his stomach was pretty sore. Maybe he did need a few days here in bed… not that he'd admit that.<p>

He slept for a while, sleeping through most of the evening. He was dreaming he and Emily were lying on some hot beach in Jamaica, watching the sunset in each other's arms. They didn't need to say a word to know they were so happy together, breathing in the sweet, delicious scents of the island. He'd been to this place many times, but with her… it was the first time it felt like paradise.

As he woke, the island faded away, but the scent remained. He felt a gentle hand stroking his chest through his t-shirt. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw the very girl of his dreams sitting beside him, giving him a smile warmer than the sun.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Great now that you're here." He replied, his hand landing on her hip. "What time is it?"

"After eight." She answered softly. "I made your soup. Are you hungry?"

As much as he loved this, he didn't want her to feel obligated to be here. "Prentiss, you don't got to wait on me."

"Uh, uh." She argued. "You agreed you'd let me take care of you, and you're lucky I still am after everything you put me through!"

Reaching out, he took her hand. His eyes were so serious, begging her to understand. "I know… I'm sorry, I should have listened to you."

Her eyes were so sad, and for a moment, Morgan thought she might cry. "I could have lost you, Derek. That's all that's been running through my head these last few days."

He knew he shouldn't ask. He knew he should beg her forgiveness and move on, but he couldn't stop himself. "So you decided to admit you love me when you thought you might lose me… just like I did for you."

She didn't respond at first. Her pause was so long, Morgan thought she was going to get up and leave. She didn't, though. A glow warmed her eyes as she reached down, brushing her lips on his, following her touch with a tender, delicate kiss.

Their kiss ended, but their lips did not part. "I always loved you, I've wanted to tell you… I just couldn't let you hear it. Not because I didn't want you to know… but because I couldn't let myself say it to you. What we have is so intense and incredible and real, and we keep pushing it. We keep trying to see how far it will go, how much weight we can keep stacking on it… it's not like I had a belief this wasn't working, but I thought if we tried to push any further, it would be too much. Everything would break."

"Emily… that's what stopped us last time." Morgan pointed out as he sat up. His large, powerful hands cupped her soft cheeks, bringing her shining gaze to his. She felt so safe being captured by those persuasive eyes. "And I think I felt the same way, too, until I said it. We have to stop being so afraid, we'll never be happy if we're constantly obsessing if we're going too fast or if one doesn't want something the other does… we're together and we're in love with each other. We have to be able to talk about things… and we can't be afraid to upset the other."

She nodded, her one hand resting over his. "You're right. I just don't want to lose you. It may sound morbid, but… I'd rather you die in the line of duty than see you walk away from me and never come back." She sniffled, a tear dripping down from her lashes. "I couldn't live if you did that."

His thumb brushed away her tear and gave her smile. "Then I make you a promise right now. No matter what happens, no matter what you say or what you do… I will be here. I will love you no matter what… as long as you promise me the same thing."

"I'll do you one better." She smiled. "Not only will I give you that, but if something comes between us that feels too much to bear, I swear I will do everything in my power to fix it."

"I'll second that." He agreed, completely. To seal their promise, he pulled her to him again to kiss her. It seemed as solid an agreement as any piece of paper could give them. Right now it was perfect for them.

As they parted she smiled and wiped her eyes. "I do love you… since that day in the break room when we talked about Vonnegut and Slaughter House Five… I don't think there's been a day I didn't love you."

"Me, too." Morgan agreed. "I just took me a very long time to realize it. And if I didn't have these stitches in me," he reached to press a gentle kiss to her cheek, "I'd show you how much I love you right now."

"We'll have to take a rain check." She smiled, leaning her brow on his, her hands carefully going around his waist. "And what do you say we go somewhere very special to celebrate this?"

He loved the sound of that idea. He knew the perfect place. "How do you feel about Jamaica? I never brought a girlfriend there before, we could spend our vacation there."

She adored that idea, giving him one more kiss, a soft touch to stroke his neck. "If that's the case, we only have a few weeks to nurse you back to health, and on that subject, how about I get you some of that soup you were asking for?"

Morgan was hungry, but that could wait a little while. "No."

Worried, "What's wrong? Are you nauseas?"

"No, I'm fine," He shook his head. "I just want to lay with you for a little while… will you stay with me?"

Her face broke into a wide, happy grin. Carefully, she moved to the other side of his bed while Morgan slid back down to lie comfortably. He pulled Emily closer to him, loving how she snuggled into a perfect fit against him, mindful of his stitches. He wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close, lying just like they were a few nights ago for the three best hours he'd ever spent in the hospital.

Emily watched him close his eyes, sighing with content. She never wanted to leave his side, for the rest of her life. "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, too." He muttered.

It made her heart beat so hard. She never thought anything would be better than hearing him say he loved her, but she was wrong… it was hearing him say it back.

* * *

><p>Reid was so excited, he couldn't wait to tell Riley. There was no guarantee they'd get the house, there was no guarantee they could even pay half what they were asking. All they could do right now was meet the relator on Saturday and get a tour of the place. He thought about asking Hotch or Emily to come along. Someone who knew about real estate and could advise them. No matter what happened, it was a step in the right direction. Riley was going to be so excited.<p>

Grocery bags in hand, he headed up the stairs to their apartment. He couldn't help but think he might not be making this trek much longer. It would be hard to leave that little apartment, after almost a decade. It had been just his for many years. His safe haven, hidden away from the world, and he had liked his solitude. And then that girl came along. Before either of them knew it, she moved into his life and his home. It became theirs. It had been good to them, their sanctuary, where their love was safe from the world, but now it was time to move on. He was very excited about that; they had a lot to look forward to.

Pulling out his keys, Reid unlocked the door and let himself in. The lights were on in the living room, but the room was empty. "Riley, I'm home."

There was no answer, but maybe she was getting sick in the bathroom and couldn't respond. He'd put the groceries away and go to her side. He didn't want the ice cream to melt.

For the next ten minutes he was in the kitchen, putting all the food away. He'd gotten soup and sandwiches for dinner, something to settle her ailing stomach. He'd gotten lots of stuff to ensure a healthy pregnancy, including green tea and fresh fruits and vegetables, including two bags of bright red apples, also some apple juice and apple sauce for variety. It seemed to be her new favorite. That was going to take some getting used to, but he'd get her anything she wanted. She was having his baby, after all. His baby… he still could hardly wrap his head around that.

"Sweetheart," Reid called, as he came out of the kitchen. "Are you okay?"

She should at least call out to him, let him know she understood. Reid started to get worried. What if something was wrong? What if she was hurt? A thousand horrible scenarios started going through his head as he hurried down the corridor. The door to the bedroom was closed and he wrenched it open, half expecting it to be locked.

Riley was fine, thank goodness. She was sitting on the bed, wearing sweatpants and her Penguin's jersey. With her feet planted firmly on the bed, she was staring at something in her lap, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes sparkling with tears.

"Riley," he exclaimed stepping in. It was almost dark in here, the only source of light coming from the bathroom. "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

She looked surprised as he stepped in, like he just snuck up on her. "Oh… no." She shook her head. "Sorry, I guess, I uh… I was distracted."

Concerned, Reid walked over. He switched on her bedside lamp, sitting beside her on the bed. Looking at her lap, Reid gave a smile, seeing what intrigued her so.

He reached over, taking her copy of the sonogram out of her hand, admiring it himself. All the evidence on it right now was a lumpy peanut-like shape. It seemed almost completely insignificant… except for one black spot on the bigger end. The eye; like the fetus was staring right back at them.

"I'm sorry," She said, wiping her eyes. "I just can't seem to stop staring at it."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Reid smiled, reaching over to take her hand. "It's your baby, you feel attached to it."

"Yeah," She said, nodding, hanging her head. "I also feel really ashamed."

He expected that, letting go of her hand and cupping her cheek. Tears started to stream down as she sobbed and explained. "Hearing that heartbeat yesterday… it changed everything. I felt so connected to this baby, like I've never had with anyone before. It already seems so precious." Her hands rested on her belly, lightly caressing it, thinking about the little life growing in there. "I can't believe I thought about getting rid of it, I am absolutely disgusted with myself."

Setting the sonogram on the side table, Reid moved closer to her. He pulled her into his arms and against his shoulder as he gently moved her to sit on his lap, cradling her lovingly. Her arms went around him as she hung on him, like she was afraid she would fall.

"It doesn't matter how you felt before." He assured her, holding her as tight as he dared. "It's alright to be scared. I'm scared, too. But we're in this together. We're not like other couples, we've been through so much and we always make it through. This is going to be hard, but it's going to be so wonderful."

Her hand clutched to his shirt, closing her eyes as she hung her head, trying to speak. "Do you really think I'm going to be a good mother?"

He paused a moment before he answered, "No."

Looking up, she was stunned. He'd been telling her she'd be good all this time and now he was lying?

But instead, she found a smile. He squeezed her just a bit tighter. "I think you are going to be a _great_ mother."

"Really?" She wondered, smiling.

"Yes," He answered. "There's a lot to be afraid of, but you shouldn't be scared of that. You are not your mother and I am not my father. We make our own choices and decisions and we're a lot stronger than they were. We can have any life we want… and it's going to be a great one."

"Well," She was much calmer now. The tears had even stopped. She rested her head on his shoulder, pressing a kiss on his neck. "I'm still really scared, but I feel a lot better knowing you have that faith in me."

"Trust me… we're not going to be perfect, but we are going to give this baby a great life and be a very happy family." He angled his head to meet her eyes. Her gaze was looking down, her mind so distant and far away. "You believe me, don't you?"

"Maybe it's crazy… but I do." She said with a light giggle. Looking up, she met his eyes. "I always wished things were different… but instead of wishing, I should be trying… and I'm going to try my best to be a great mother."

"You will be." He said, jostling her a bit on his lap, getting a small smile out of her. "You're already a great a wife, and I love you more than anything."

For the first time, both of them felt like everything was going to be okay. Matching her smile, he reached up for their lips to meet, bringing her into a loving, tender kiss. His hand slipped down to rest on hers over her stomach, right where their baby grew, safe and sound. They had a lot to figure out and a long way to go. When they were like this, though, the road ahead didn't seem so hard. They'd gotten through so much so far, they could do this, too.

Their lips parted slowly. Her eyes, sparkling with the diamonds he hadn't seen in so long, were distant and pensive. Reid reached to brush the curls off her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She answered. Looking up, she let out a sigh and said with a genuine and excited smile, "We're going to have a baby."

* * *

><p>AN: I'm so happy with this story, like I said I've been planning it for a long time. I had so many people reviewed most, if not all of the chapters. They mean so much to me, I can't thank everyone enough.

As excited as I was for this story, I'm twice as excited for the next one. So, stay tuned within the next few weeks for the next installment in the series entitled Never Expect What You're Expecting.


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